Fetish club

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Fetish club

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Fetish club

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Fetish club - 11/2/2005 5:34:41 PM

trainable123

Posts: 10
Joined: 9/26/2005
Status: offline

I have never had an outside relationship with a Dom . as my first 2 year experience was when my girlfriend turned the tables on me after 3 years and I found my place and what I really desire to be as a sub.

Now that you know that . I have been in contact with a dom who has asked me to come to the BIO fetish play night in Vancouver so she can
see me and see if she is interested.

I am nervous as I have never been to such a place or been a sub in public .

What should I wear ,what should I expect to do , and etc.

thanks

Post #: 1

RE: Fetish club - 11/2/2005 7:27:20 PM

KittenWithaTwist

Posts: 490
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline

The standard color of the kink scene is black. Try a black, basic polo shirt, and black slacks or jeans in good shape.

_____________________________

"Time travel: It's a cornocopia of disturbing concepts." ~Ron Stoppable

(in reply to trainable123)

Post #: 2

RE: Fetish club - 11/2/2005 9:35:49 PM

trainable123

Posts: 10
Joined: 9/26/2005
Status: offline

Thanks. Will I be expeced to do anything and if so should I be willing ?

(in reply to KittenWithaTwist)

Post #: 3

RE: Fetish club - 11/2/2005 10:35:25 PM

JohnWarren

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: trainable123

Thanks. Will I be expeced to do anything and if so should I be willing ?

I don't have experience with this club, but if it is anything like the many I've visited there aren't any expectations. You can just observe (most do this). If you click with someone, you can do something. There is probably a club safeword so everyone knows of you withdraw consent. Usually there is a list of do's and don't (examples: do behave politely, don't touch other's toys without permission) and a list of forbidden scenes (fire, scat, blood, sexual penetration) For example, in Boston we limited single tails to four feet or less so people didn't end up hogging the dungeon space.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to trainable123)

Post #: 4

RE: Fetish club - 11/2/2005 10:54:51 PM

Sardax

Posts: 17
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline

Just watch where you're treading too.
You might inadvertently trip over someone's head slurping over a pair of shoes as he/she grovels on the floor...

(in reply to JohnWarren)

Post #: 5

RE: Fetish club - 11/3/2005 4:52:29 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: trainable123

I have been in contact with a dom who has asked me to come to the BIO fetish play night in Vancouver so she can
see me and see if she is interested.

I am nervous as I have never been to such a place or been a sub in public .

What should I wear ,what should I expect to do , and etc.

thanks

Firstly, is she insistent that you have your first meeting at this location? I would think that if she is aware of your newness she would have no problem with meeting at a non-fetish location at first. This could be an indication as to her level of respect of you.

If you do proceed with the meeting at the fetish party make it clear from the start that you are nervous & that you will attend as an observer. Do not feel pressured into playing. You are of course just meeting her, she does not own you or control you at this point.

As to what to wear, basic black is often worn by men in the clubs, but it is also what most of the dominant males wear. I would suggest black dress pants & a white dress shirt... when all else fails, ask her & she if she has a preference. Keeping in mind, if she is aware of your newness & nervousness & asks you to wear something like leather shorts & a torso harness... might be a strong indication that she is not considerate of your level of comfort. It's up to you to decide whether you wish to consent to this type of management.

_____________________________

MstrssPassion

(in reply to trainable123)

Post #: 6

RE: Fetish club - 11/3/2005 9:36:06 AM

trainable123

Posts: 10
Joined: 9/26/2005
Status: offline

Thank you all very much . I have sent her a few questions regarding all
of this and hope to hear back from her.

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 7

RE: Fetish club - 11/3/2005 11:07:15 AM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Firstly, is she insistent that you have your first meeting at this location? I would think that if she is aware of your newness she would have no problem with meeting at a non-fetish location at first. This could be an indication as to her level of respect of you.

Have to agree rather strongly. To me at least newbies should be allowed to understand the expectations of their Domme before being trotted out in public. This inital connection & bonding may be VERY difficult when you are being bombarded with the sights & sounds of an actual dungeon. Red flag for me at least...is this person a Pro or willing to provide references in advance?

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 8

RE: Fetish club - 11/3/2005 11:45:40 AM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

The only thing I can think of is that this Domme is presuming you have more experience than you do because you speak of your relationship with your ex-girlfriend.
For a first meet, whether a newbie or not, I prefer coffee, dinner, or even a weekly meeting or munch. Not a dungeon.
Sometimes too much is assumed. I hope She realizes that you are nervous and this is not in your realm of experience.

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to trainable123)

Post #: 9

RE: Fetish club - 11/3/2005 2:12:59 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I am also one that prefers to meet first in a non-fetish setting........but if I think someone has experience, I often tell them that I will be at some public event (munch, party) and to hook up with me there. I make it clear also that NO play is required or expected.

I don't do that as a sign of lack of respect, but because I do expect my playmates to at least accompany me to public events, and if they can't manage that, then they aren't going to work out. Also, I have limited time, and if I have the remotest suspicion that the person is going to skunk out, then I don't set up any of my private time for him until he has passed this first test.

Even for someone inexperienced, public events can be a useful acid test---are they interested? Freaked out? Do they know how to talk to strangers?

Here is my piece of advice for you, though: if you do wind up meeting, do NOT wander off and look at things without her permission! I am still amazed at the guys who say they are there to meet a domme, but then proceed to spend the evening doing what THEY are interested in, and virtually ignore the lady!

Ms F

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)

Post #: 10

RE: Fetish club - 11/4/2005 1:14:13 PM

trainable123

Posts: 10
Joined: 9/26/2005
Status: offline

Well that now puts me in a real position . Should I now ask her to meet me in a public place
and tell her I am very serious but very nervous (scared as hell actualy) to go there,but then
on the other hand I don't want to upset her.
thanks

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 11

RE: Fetish club - 11/6/2005 3:44:57 PM

Foibey

Posts: 54
Joined: 5/11/2005
Status: offline

Figure out what your needs are. State them and make sure they don't get ignored. A little fear isn't a bad thing, but if you're seriously uncomfortable with it say so and/or just don't go along with it if it's really that scary

(in reply to trainable123)

Post #: 12

RE: Fetish club - 11/6/2005 8:47:26 PM

trainable123

Posts: 10
Joined: 9/26/2005
Status: offline

Thanks I did that and she fully understands and had no problem with it.
She is going to meet me downtown on Wed.
Thanks for all the advice .
Trainable

(in reply to Foibey)

Post #: 13

RE: Fetish club - 11/7/2005 10:52:12 AM

trainable123

Posts: 10
Joined: 9/26/2005
Status: offline

plans have now changed and coffee downtown has changed to dinner at a very expensive resturant for our first meeting. Is this noraml.
Comments please.

(in reply to trainable123)

Post #: 14

RE: Fetish club - 11/7/2005 10:54:55 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Read Foibey's post as often as you need to for it to become internalized.

(in reply to trainable123)

Post #: 15

RE: Fetish club - 11/7/2005 12:22:31 PM

trainable123

Posts: 10
Joined: 9/26/2005
Status: offline

thanks I did tell her how I feel about it and we are now meeting in a coffee shop on Sat.
I must say I am very naive about all this stuff and as it is my first time doing a posting like this .I didn't realize all the pitfalls for both Mistresses and subs and just how hard it is to be claimed as a sub.

One other question .

Should I be expected to buy ,pay for or give my Mistress money. She has not ask this of me (except for maybe expecting me to pay for the dinner) but if it comes up it would be great to know what to say and how to say it.

Thanks
Trainable

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 16

RE: Fetish club - 11/7/2005 12:28:59 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Ask her if she has any expectations, otherwise treat it like a vanilla date.

(in reply to trainable123)

Post #: 17

RE: Fetish club - 11/7/2005 1:02:47 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I expect my dates to buy me dinner. If you are so motivated, a small token gift is a nice thing (chocolates, a book, that kind of thing). Otherwise, just be yourself.

Ms F

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 18

RE: Fetish club - 11/7/2005 1:31:29 PM

QueenRah

Posts: 380
Joined: 6/3/2005
Status: offline

It's great that your potential Dominatrice has agreed to a vanilla meeting and has compromised and agreed to coffee. Every relationship has its parameters and those parameters should be explored in as safe a mode and pace as possible.

When I meet a new boy, I do expect him to invest in a decent dinner. That could be at Port Land Grille (tres chere - [sorry for lack of proper accent marks!]) or Golden Corral. I don't believe in breaking a boy's wallet! But I do feel that I need to see a willingness to invest something for my time. Treating for dinner out is the primary indicator for me. Oh, I've said this before, elsewhere. Moving right along...

If you haven't expressed all your trepidations about the fetish club, etc., to Her that you've shared with us, then you should. She is the one you have a new relationship with. She deserves your honesty. And shouldn't you know now whether you are walking into a decent relationship based on honesty and mutual respect (insofar as "respect" reaches for each party)?

QueenRah

_____________________________

Life's too short to drink cheap booze!

(in reply to trainable123)

Post #: 19

RE: Fetish club - 11/7/2005 1:32:55 PM

trainable123

Posts: 10
Joined: 9/26/2005
Status: offline

Of cource small gifts and etc. are a given to anyone you like/serve and etc. I was just checking if it was a big number or a demand for money
or expensive gifts and etc. is expected up and above total servitude as a sub.

Thanks
Trainable

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Fetish club

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.078