RE: Seriously... Do you have to be a bitch?

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RE: Seriously... Do you have to be a bitch? - 6/18/2008 6:43:53 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Right with ya, Jewel! I hate wishy-washy waffly PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE people, regardless of their orientation. If it takes bitchiness to nail that jello to the wall, you know that you are wasting your time.

I am getting good at being harsh!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)

Post #: 21

RE: Seriously... Do you have to be a bitch? - 6/18/2008 6:55:41 AM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

Yeah, I know the feeling. But doesn't it suck to have to be that way?

Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 22

RE: Seriously... Do you have to be a bitch? - 6/18/2008 7:39:17 AM

Twicehappy2x

Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline

Ok, ok, i am putting in my two cents and an explanation.

The individual who prompted the opening of this thread visited repeatedly, professed undying devotion and a whole hearted desire to be here. Then after claiming to be packed and supposedly quitting his job kept finding reasons to delay.

When told " make a decision enough games", he replied that he wanted to stay in the big city so as not to miss out on all it had to offer for the summer. The weekend play parties, the baseball games, the food, etc...and so on. That he wanted to continue to visit until fall, at which time he thought he would be ready to move in.

He added that he wanted to do this to give us time to finish building the addition to the house and finish up the restoration of the back yard before he got here.

You see, as he was aware before he ever visited, we were going to house him in the living room by turning it into a temporary bedroom for him (it is a private room with a door) until the addition could be finished.

Now i'd like to explain a bit about the above.

Our home is huge, 3000sq ft plus, but we are adding another bedroom as i currently have the only bedroom besides Scooter and Jewel's. Any sub moving here is made aware of that fact before they visit.

As sub's living in this house are not expected to work outside the home and they are not expected to contribute financially. All our needs including hobbies, clothing etc are provided for. He was however expected to put sweat equity into the construction of the room.

On top of this as some of you are aware, i have rheumatoid arthritis which recently caused a grand case of pericarditis, that is, inflammation of the sac around my heart. Very painful and very tiring. I am on a great deal of bed rest until the inflammation goes down and extended rest for 8 to 12 weeks after so as not to cause it to become inflamed again.

Yet no offer to come help when he learned of this. And he still expected us to get everything done so he could come in the fall and just move in. While a friend of ours offered to send his girl (thank you Abraxus and Mistoferin) down here to take care of things and me and do without himself.

I have to say this male subbie redefined the words selfish and self centered for me.

Jewel did everything right, showed patience and understanding beyond belief. But until she got downright crappy with him he just kept making excuses.

For that matter he is still trying to make excuses. He claimed he wanted what we are offering, a warm loving home with people who would care for him and love him. What he evidently really wants is to have his cake and eat it too while having others bake and frost it for him.

_____________________________

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)

Post #: 23

RE: Seriously... Do you have to be a bitch? - 6/18/2008 7:57:42 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

Sheesh! Damned lazy, pathetic, looser.

Jewel you deserve wayyyyyyyyyyy better than that! Way better.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Twicehappy2x)

Post #: 24

RE: Seriously... Do you have to be a bitch? - 6/18/2008 7:57:47 AM

BumbleBee2MsP

Posts: 37
Joined: 1/7/2006
Status: offline

as a beginning sub, i understand the fear that might keep a man from showing up to meet for the first time. i was early and parked for twenty minutes, wanting to drive away, before i finally made the call to Mistress Persephone. i was shocked to see Her, not as the leather clad, whip wielding Dominatrix of my fantasies, but as a sweet "girl next door" type with the softest sweetest voice inviting me in. Even Her dog, which is half pit bull is sweet. i was hooked By Mistress's nice side. And find myself wanting to do more and do the best work that i can for Her. i think i respond best to Her being nice.
She does have a sadistic side that comes out every so often, and even though i really don't like pain, i have learnd to accept and sometimes even enjoy (at least afterwords) the various slaps, pinches, spankings and caning. ot to mention, the nipple clamps, electrical torture, and exteded nipple torture. The look of delight in Her face when She is doing these things is trully a beautiful sight. i think it is just the flipside of Her being nice.

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)

Post #: 25

RE: Seriously... Do you have to be a bitch? - 6/18/2008 8:02:24 AM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel

A conversation I was having with a friend earlier, combined with what just happened to me, has made me really wonder. Do female dominants have to be a bitch? I don't mean that in a hateful way, I'm just saying that it seems like the more demanding, the more degrading, the more pushy we are the better the response from male submissives (yeah, I say that like they really exist... ha ha). Yeah, I'm ranting a little but mainly I really want to know! I am at a complete loss here, I don't understand. Ok, I'm poly, and I know that narrows the feild, but I don't hide it and honestly, it hasn't been the problem. It just seems that the nicer you are the less response you get. Do men really want to be treated like crap? Come on... some honest answers here, ok?

Jewel

men who wanted to b treated as crap,
they want a fantasy hon.

You're fine the way you're and if they don't like you
for being who you're? then it's thier loss.
Don't change the way you're.

*better to B liked for who you're then loved for what you are NOT*

I wish you enough.

GoddezzT`

_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)

Post #: 26

RE: Seriously... Do you have to be a bitch? - 6/18/2008 8:07:14 AM

BumbleBee2MsP

Posts: 37
Joined: 1/7/2006
Status: offline

Wow. Twicehappy added a lot of pertenant information. That guy has a serious proplem with honesty. he was dishonest with himself and dishonest with You about what he wanted or was capable of giving. he needs to grow up some and be half a man, at least.

(in reply to Twicehappy2x)

Post #: 27

RE: Seriously... Do you have to be a bitch? - 6/18/2008 8:13:54 AM

VeryMercurial

Posts: 620
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline

No, I don't have to be a bitch.
But, when I am in a bitchy mood it is fun.
I agree it should not be expected, and it would get old fast if I operated
in bitch mode all the time.

< Message edited by VeryMercurial -- 6/18/2008 8:14:20 AM >

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)

Post #: 28

RE: Seriously... Do you have to be a bitch? - 6/18/2008 8:32:54 AM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

I have to admit, I'm completely not interested in someone who responds positively to that...

to a point... in the bedroom, in certain scenarios... in the most loving way... but I don't think that's what you mean..

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)

Post #: 29

RE: Seriously... Do you have to be a bitch? - 6/18/2008 8:49:18 AM

shivermetimbers

Posts: 2060
Joined: 6/7/2008
Status: offline

I value myself too much to be treated like garbage. When I read those profiles with the "come on you worthless pieces of crap, write me you know I'm what you want" I laugh. I prefer people to be pleasant and fun, not bitchy and miserable. I get enough of that at work.

_____________________________

I love you Deanna, you make every day a better day.

If we descended from monkeys and apes, why are there still monkeys and apes?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZ3CJi0Ih9s&feature=player_embedded

http://www.thebuccozone.com/piratesong.htm

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)

Post #: 30

RE: Seriously... Do you have to be a bitch? - 6/18/2008 9:27:45 AM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

Thank you everyone. I absolutely appreciate the replies from the guys that also don't get wanting to be treated like crap and I wish I could say that gives me hope... unfortunately I don't think much of anything can right now.

Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to shivermetimbers)

Post #: 31

RE: Seriously... Do you have to be a bitch? - 6/18/2008 11:19:43 AM

bashfulhuck

Posts: 119
Joined: 5/26/2008
Status: offline

To Jewel and Twicehappy, I truly wish I could just take some time off of work and come over to you guys and help out. Believe me, if that were possible at all, I would be there in a flash. Unfortunately my brother's cancer caused me to take all the time off from work I can this year without losing my job.
I will keep your household in my thoughts though, and hope for a speedy recovery for you. Twicehappy, please don't take on too much right now, just focus on getting better.
And don't waste anymore time on the so called "submissive". He's just a selfish, lazy painslut that wants someone to do everything for him. He sounds like he would be a horrible fit for your house, because somebody would always have to pick up his slack.

Big hugs to the both of you.
Peace and serenity,
bashful

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)

Post #: 32

RE: Seriously... Do you have to be a bitch? - 6/18/2008 2:08:36 PM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

bashful... Thank you for the warm thoughts, twice is taking it easy, we don't give her much choice. I do all I can but when my neuropathy flairs up Scooter picks up the slack... what a group we are, huh? And thank you for the offer, but believe me, you don't want to come here... we might keep you! I'm a sucker for the linebacker look! We'll do fine, my feet should be ok by the weekend and we can once again start on the projects I want to get done.

Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to bashfulhuck)

Post #: 33

RE: Seriously... Do you have to be a bitch? - 6/18/2008 3:09:41 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

You didn't have to issue anything, you just weren't accepting the answers he was giving- his feet were doing all the talking you needed.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)

Post #: 34

RE: Seriously... Do you have to be a bitch? - 6/18/2008 3:52:53 PM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

You didn't have to issue anything, you just weren't accepting the answers he was giving- his feet were doing all the talking you needed.

You'd have thought so, but when he was here he was totally committed to being here, when we talked on the phone he was totally committed and when he was there and on his own he was totally committed to that. All I wanted was a definate answer. Persistence pays off, not always what you want to hear, but you do get an answer. I got lots of answers and accepted every one of them, they just didn't match day to day. Honestly, he wanted it all and wasn't willing to give up anything to get it.

Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 35

RE: Seriously... Do you have to be a bitch? - 6/18/2008 6:39:33 PM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

Hello hello Jewel and twicehappy This is Abraxus on mistoferin's screen name lol. I know this is a bit off topic but I wish to say that I miss the three of you big time. I know I have been lapse with communication. Just know you all are in my thoughts. If you need erin down there to assist please feel free to call. I hope you feel better soon twicehappy. You do know you can call at anytime. Hugs

Master Sage

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)

Post #: 36

RE: Seriously... Do you have to be a bitch? - 6/18/2008 6:44:47 PM

submgreenbay

Posts: 69
Joined: 6/2/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bashfulhuck

It'll be ok Miss Jewel, don't worry. There are submissives out there, I happen to be one of them, that respond far better to being treated with kindness and love than someone treating me like shit. <snip>

I'm the same way.

What I think it is that females that realize that they might be dominate, look around trying to figure out how this all works and how to act...and end up mimicking what their environment. Much the same way we are influenced by our peers and media influences.. As someone put it, they get this image from that of what they should be.

It would probably help of the "bitchy ones" would do more participating in the forums instead of looking at what other people do. Oh well.

(in reply to bashfulhuck)

Post #: 37

RE: Seriously... Do you have to be a bitch? - 6/18/2008 8:24:21 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel
You'd have thought so, but when he was here he was totally committed to being here, when we talked on the phone he was totally committed and when he was there and on his own he was totally committed to that. All I wanted was a definate answer. Persistence pays off, not always what you want to hear, but you do get an answer. I got lots of answers and accepted every one of them, they just didn't match day to day. Honestly, he wanted it all and wasn't willing to give up anything to get it.

Jewel

It's easy for me to say three days and you're out. When you are IN that situation, you just want to give and make it work.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)

Post #: 38

RE: Seriously... Do you have to be a bitch? - 6/18/2008 9:45:10 PM

Laura

Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

Sub and Dom both have to be themselves with the BDSM as a side thing. If you get stuck playing a role it's a bottomless pit. Being yourself gives you balance and a solid foundation to build everything else on. I can be a bitch if I'm tired and no doubt he can be annoying and whiny. But, while I'm being a bitch I know who I am and I know I'm being bitchy and extra aggressive cause I'm not feeling like being nice. I'm not being bitchy cause it's in the "script". If he is being overly clingy or asking for more than I care to give at the time I can tell him so. I don't have to play the Domme cause I am the Domme, no matter what kind of day I'm having or mood I'm in. A lot of people seem to think you have to step outside of yourself to be a sub or Dom. I think the opposite, you have to fit the sub or Dom (the BDSM) into your life, high drama and boring everyday stuff included.

I'm meeting a new little man tomorrow. Hope it goes well. :)

_____________________________

Bait & Switch - Adult column

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)

Post #: 39

RE: Seriously... Do you have to be a bitch? - 6/19/2008 2:49:30 AM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

Jewel, I am so sorry this turned out this way for You. It is so incredibly frustrating to have someone who won't make a commitment. I take it when he was there, he professed to be happy with Your kind ways ... just once he got back to the city, that was too much of a lure. Seriously selfish as Twice said ... and really, what better an opportunity for a sub to show how much he loves to serve and get united with the family than to have a project to get stuck into with them ... which would be for his ultimate benefit anyway! *shakes head*

Yes I also know what it's like to be hearing answers and wanting to give that bit more to try to make something that seems to have potential work. It's hard to give that ultimatum as I am not by nature, an ultimatum-driven person. I prefer to work towards concensus ... seems much more productive in the long run. But I am getting close to giving a boy I have talked to now for about 4 months an ultimatum to get here for a first meet. Master and I are needing to make some critical decisions soon about whether Our future lies in this house or elsewhere (with a big motorhome and seeing Australia being one of the options!), and a potential sub would be a significant factor in that decision-making process. So while I am not about to decide the future on 1 meet, if he has the potential in the flesh he has had so far, Master and I are prepared to shelve the motorhome option and try to stay in this area to allow the potential to play out as it will. If it doesn't work at all, then maybe it will be "hit the road Jack!" Yet I hate to deliver that ultimatum ... it's not the way I choose to exert My Dominance ... I don't want to be who I'm not. It's heartening that the subs here in the forum are all for sensitive Dommes, and I would expect that to a point, as they have the brains to post here

Just wish I could find 1 in My limited pool here who is willing to get here and give Us a try!

Better luck next time Jewel!
Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)

Post #: 40

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