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RE: Seriously... Do you have to be a bitch? - 6/25/2008 5:34:21 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong
I refuse to let a male sub goad me into acting like a male dom.  I have class. I don't need a dick.. I don't have to use foul language and I get my point and desires across quite nicely.


I never realized that those were the general characteristics of male doms. You do realize that the OP is married to a male dom?




Like I should care?   I just presented my thoughts to the OP in general.  Haven't you noticed the fetishes guys want?  It's not the feminine power they desire.. its an impersonation of male power in a feminine package they relate to.  They want to be "overpowered" or "forced" or basically bullied.  Women convince and seduce.  This is basically foreign to males in general because it takes too long to achieve their goal.  Women are more cat and mouse.


I can't tell you whether you should care or not but you are making a rather broad and fairly negative generalization about male doms. I have to wonder as you are a female domme who has likely not been in many intimate relationships where you were under the authority of male doms, what your basis for such a generalization is? You are still doing it by saying that "male power" is demonstrated by overpowering, forcing and bullying. In my experience as a female submissive, while I have certainly seen instances of men who employ those tactics, I have found them to be the exception rather than the rule.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Seriously... Do you have to be a bitch? - 6/25/2008 5:52:21 AM   
lally3


Posts: 595
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline 		my Domina being a total BitchGoddess towards me is a serious turn on and can be a hell of alot of fun, but in my day to day dealings, I would rather she treat me with kindness and love. I want to feel as if I am a cherished pet to her, my friend, my teacher, my shelter from a world that isn't always neccessarily nice
 
do you have to be a bitch? no.  i dont think so, judging from what has been said here, and he went on to say this also, its the 'drop in for a wank' brigade, who probably wouldnt do a meet and are not looking for a sustainable relationship and are just trying to get you for free.

to cheer you up may i recommend sliced strawberries drizzled with chocolate sauce over crumbled merangues - surprisingly low fat and competely delicious!  eating it now and i might have to have some more.

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Seriously... Do you have to be a bitch? - 6/25/2008 6:58:14 AM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		Please lally, enjoy one for me... I'm diabetic and can only call on memories of such wonderful treats.
 
I've learned a lot from reading and posting on this thread and I want to thank everyone that contributed. I'm working hard on recapturing my belief in fate, if it's meant to happen, then it will. I'm not alone, not by a long shot, but sometimes it feels very lonely. I've recently read something that really came home to me. I can't quote it here, but suffice it to say, I have a small, but realistic understanding of male submissives because of it. My husband is the kindest, most understanding man in the world, he is supportive of me and my effort. Twicehappy is my moral support and my extended family, erin and Abraxus... awesome people... have been there for all of us on many occasions. But it's been a very long six years of searching for me, my health isn't what it used to be and I have a life outside of wiitwd so I'm giving up. I'm done, I've put my toys away and moved on to the rest of my life.
 
It's been real, and it's been fun... but it hasn't been real fun... lol
 
Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to lally3)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Seriously... Do you have to be a bitch? - 6/25/2008 7:02:07 AM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline
Well, the other implied question to this thread is how does a sub deal with a Dom who is being too emotional, demanding, and unfair.....

There might be a lot of eros to these qualities --- but they are poison to a LTR. I imagine the standard male response to be: run the fuck away.

(in reply to Akinta)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Seriously... Do you have to be a bitch? - 6/25/2008 7:33:53 AM   
lally3


Posts: 595
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline 		Please lally, enjoy one for me... I'm diabetic and can only call on memories of such wonderful treats. 
 
bummer! -

i cant leave cloudboy with the last word, not after what you have just said up there.

i dont know anything about the Domme/male sub world, but it seems to me theyre missing out on someone genuine and genuine is hard to find, their loss.

sending you hugs xxxxxx

(in reply to cloudboy)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Seriously... Do you have to be a bitch? - 6/25/2008 5:20:09 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

while I have certainly seen instances of men who employ those tactics, I have found them to be the exception rather than the rule.


... must be the planet you live on    (I was going to answer you in depth.. but it's not worth the energy).

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Seriously... Do you have to be a bitch? - 6/25/2008 7:00:41 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong
(I was going to answer you in depth.. but it's not worth the energy).

Bingo.  My theory is that as your illness progresses, your posts become increasingly bitter and off-the-mark.  It takes energy to give a damn.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Seriously... Do you have to be a bitch? - 6/25/2008 7:17:37 PM   
CoasttoCoast


Posts: 71
Joined: 5/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

This is the female version of "Can I be a dom and a gentleman?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1205164/mpage_1/key_gentleman/tm.htm#1205660
mistaking kindness for weakness

http://www.collarchat.com/m_856653/mpage_1/key_gentleman/tm.htm#857014
too nice

http://www.collarchat.com/m_848523/mpage_2/key_gentleman/tm.htm#848969
Mr. Nice guy is not Mr. Nice Dom?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_825792/mpage_1/key_gentleman/tm.htm#825829
Can a dom be a gentleman?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_799563/mpage_1/key_gentleman/tm.htm#799760
what makes a 'real' dom?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_775753/mpage_1/key_gentleman/tm.htm#775760
dominants who show emotions, weakness or vulnerability

http://www.collarchat.com/m_771270/mpage_1/key_gentleman/tm.htm#771630
Does gentle master mean weak?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_668725/mpage_1/key_gentleman/tm.htm#668733
Too polite?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_505491/mpage_1/key_gentleman/tm.htm#505668
Seeking consensus: dominant as gentleman?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_433779/mpage_1/key_gentleman/tm.htm#433966
Master...in slaves' eyes!

http://www.collarchat.com/m_380311/mpage_2/key_gentleman%252Cdom/tm.htm#384513
dom vs gentleman

http://www.collarchat.com/m_266268/mpage_1/key_gentleman%252Cdom/tm.htm#266288
the gentleman dom with feelings

Is the term gentleman dom an oxymoron?

Gentlemen vs nice guy

quote:

,


i am beginning to think you are not a person, but a very pretty javascript.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Seriously... Do you have to be a bitch? - 6/25/2008 7:18:10 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong
(I was going to answer you in depth.. but it's not worth the energy).

Bingo.  My theory is that as your illness progresses, your posts become increasingly bitter and off-the-mark.  It takes energy to give a damn.



Using someone's illness as a club for an attack is something I've never seen before--and very much hope not to see again.

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Seriously... Do you have to be a bitch? - 6/25/2008 7:23:52 PM   
bashfulhuck


Posts: 119
Joined: 5/26/2008
Status: offline 		It's funny how you would generalize so negatively about Male Dominants, yet you haven't likely got all that much experience with them.
While I don't as a rule submit to men, I do happen to have alot of friends that are Doms, and I find them to be very nice guys. I've only meet a few that are like you claim they are, and yet they seem to have no difficulties in finding someone to play with them.
IMO, you are acting bitter and angry, and it's just plain wrong for you. Your life would go so much better for you if you were to let that anger go you know, and accept and judge people on their individual merits.
I surprise people all the time at my job, because I'm just so nice, have a smile on my face, and am friendly and concerned for everyone around me. Not the usual behavior of a bouncer. They tell me that I'm the nicest bouncer they've ever meet. I'm glad those people didn't pigeonhole me into the group of bouncers that are complete assholes, which is exactly what you are doing towards Male Dominants. Believe me, you will be much happier when you learn to accept people for who they are, and when you begin to give people an honest chance to shine based off their own merits, and not some stereotype.

Peace and serenity to you,
bashfulhuck

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Seriously... Do you have to be a bitch? - 6/25/2008 7:29:48 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Jewel,
 
You have always been thoughtful, kind and honest in your postings here.  You have a big heart and so much to offer a submissive.  Maybe you do not always recognize the self centered behavior when it first happens, because that is not how you are motivated.
 
Take the time for healing and introspection, of being with your dedicated partners and supportive friends.
 
Blessed Be,
 
Vendaval

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Seriously... Do you have to be a bitch? - 6/25/2008 9:14:29 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

while I have certainly seen instances of men who employ those tactics, I have found them to be the exception rather than the rule.


... must be the planet you live on    (I was going to answer you in depth.. but it's not worth the energy).


Must be, it's pretty nice here....obviously nicer than the one you're on.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Seriously... Do you have to be a bitch? - 6/25/2008 9:19:23 PM   
ModeratorEleven


Posts: 2007
Joined: 8/14/2005
Status: offline 		Enough, folks.

XI


_____________________________

This mod goes to eleven.

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Seriously... Do you have to be a bitch? - 6/25/2008 9:59:00 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dcnovice


quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong
(I was going to answer you in depth.. but it's not worth the energy).

Bingo.  My theory is that as your illness progresses, your posts become increasingly bitter and off-the-mark.  It takes energy to give a damn.



Using someone's illness as a club for an attack is something I've never seen before--and very much hope not to see again.


I am sitting here with my mouth open.
This is beyond nasty,  I am just floored.
Thank you for having the guts to say something DC.
So many around here allow this level of nastiness to go unchecked.
I don't think you can go much lower than this.

< Message edited by MzMia -- 6/25/2008 10:01:33 PM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to dcnovice)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Seriously... Do you have to be a bitch? - 6/26/2008 7:49:12 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

Bingo.  My theory is that as your illness progresses, your posts become increasingly bitter and off-the-mark.  It takes energy to give a damn.


quote:


Using someone's illness as a club for an attack is something I've never seen before--and very much hope not to see again.

quote:


I am sitting here with my mouth open.
This is beyond nasty,  I am just floored.
Thank you for having the guts to say something DC.
So many around here allow this level of nastiness to go unchecked.
I don't think you can go much lower than this.


I just chalked it up to his ignorance and as a underscore to my initial comment. (but thanks Mod11).  The genders perceive and interpret "strength" differently.  I have no doubt that when a male dominant drops his mask after play... they can be nice guys. I've met a few.  Others let the fantasy go to their heads and truly believe they are superior.  And , to be fair, so do some women.


< Message edited by LotusSong -- 6/26/2008 8:06:59 AM >

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Seriously... Do you have to be a bitch? - 6/26/2008 8:04:28 AM   
Twicehappy2x


Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel

. But it's been a very long six years of searching for me, my health isn't what it used to be and I have a life outside of wiitwd so I'm giving up. I'm done, I've put my toys away and moved on to the rest of my life.
 
It's been real, and it's been fun... but it hasn't been real fun... lol 


Silly silly woman! You are only on a brief hiatus, not calling it quits.
 
You will once again regain your courage and continue your search eventually.
 
Some where out there is the male subbie who will fit you and and Scooter and i like a glove. He'll have a sense of humor, Love your stories, zippers will be his favorite toy, he'll be able to rub your feet for hours, he'll watch horror movies with you and i and play chess with Scooter. Hell were even gonna find you one who can ride even if i have to teach him how!
 
As to the strawberries with chocolate sauce on meringues;
 
I can go get strawberries (oh no not strawberries, that'll just break my heart), you have the home made sugar free chocolate sauce i created just for you in the fridge and you do not like meringue so how about some sugar free angel food cake instead?
 
See, anything is possible!
 
 

_____________________________

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Seriously... Do you have to be a bitch? - 6/26/2008 9:08:43 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Twice is such a sweetie she IS the sugar

Enjoy your loving family, Jewel, take a break, and start again when you feel like it.  Maybe adorable Huck will move closer to you....

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to Twicehappy2x)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Seriously... Do you have to be a bitch? - 6/26/2008 9:25:31 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
Twice is such a sweetie she IS the sugar


As I have spent significant amounts of time sitting in a hot tub in the pouring rain with her...I can verify that she does not melt. But she is pretty damn sweet and has one of the biggest, warmest hearts of anyone I know. Actually, I think that is one of the characteristics that belongs to everyone in that household. They are all just damn good people who I am proud and blessed to be loved and accepted by. As for Jewel, she is an amazingly resilient woman and I am confident that her huge heart will lead her to the path again somewhere down the road....in due time.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Seriously... Do you have to be a bitch? - 6/26/2008 1:27:16 PM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		Years ago I had a plaque that hung on my wall... you know how people say that since they gave up this or that they feel better? Well, my plaque said "Since I gave up hope I feel much better"... I loved that plaque and it made perfect sense to me.
 
I'm not depressed, I'm not withdrawn... actually, I've finally started working on the entryway again (faux finishes are a BITCH!!), but I'm having fun with it. I told the individual that decided he didn't want to give up his playtime with the prodommes to come here that I'm quite capable of putting down the pavers in the back yard (granted I'll pay dearly for pushing on that shovel for days afterwards), and I'm quite capable of painting, doing the drywall and everything else that needs to be done here... In fact, just last weekend I was helping Scooter put roll roofing on the front porch roof... he said that would have been a great pic for here... me carrying a roll of roofing up the ladder... lol, anyway, like I told him... I don't NEED anyone else here... I want someone here. Yeah, if it is meant to happen then it will... I'll leave it up to the Goddess to decide... well.... and twice... lmao
 
Oh yeah... did she say something about angel food cake? I read that right, didn't I???? Angel food cake?
 
Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Seriously... Do you have to be a bitch? - 6/26/2008 6:01:31 PM   
shay


Posts: 63
Joined: 11/15/2004
Status: offline 		Jewel, you said, "But it's been a very long six years of searching for me, my health isn't what it used to be and I have a life outside of wiitwd so I'm giving up. I'm done, I've put my toys away and moved on to the rest of my life. It's been real, and it's been fun... but it hasn't been real fun... lol " and yet I remember specifically your training me and helping me to believe in myself and in others again. You cannot give in. You are a survivor and a guide. Six years does seem like a long time, but in the scheme of things its just a drop of water in the bucket. Remember if we all give up, then THEY win, and I know you are a winner. Life is more than play. Love is more than sex. When I want to give up, I look to people like you. If you give up, where does that leave us? Come on. Chin up, Beautiful.

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)
Profile   Post #: 80
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