quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: anopheles
I've never talked to one (never wanted one), have you? And how do they generally interact with other members of the power exchange community? Reason I ask you in particular because you usually have a nifty opinion on such things.

--Anopheles

Being "needy" is generally not good. I, unfortunately, have been trained too far on that edge and so I tend to be a little TOO cautious and hard to accept help and ask for it when I need it, for fear of being perceived as "needy."

This is bad because having NEEDS is good, it's normal, it's healthy, it's human.

I am service and control oriented. I am fulfilled by being used and being of use. I have had many discussions with my friends in the past weeks about how there is an emptiness from the lack of focus in serving without being owned. It's been tough for me to stay strong and be ok without that outlet of service for me.

This is where that poly thing helps a lot- other relationships means other outlets...even if it's not quite the right fit, it's helpful.

So yes I do think there are people who truly are oriented to serve and find a great fulfillment in their lives in service.

But being NEEDY about it, or anything, is very negative and draining and not a good basis for a relationship.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
Yeah that's actually not good. Most secure people don't want that sort of needy person, they want a strong self-secure person. Now, a dom can help with you to teach yourself how to be self-secure, but getting into a relationship so you can feed off of them is never positive in the long term.