Newbie Mistress

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Newbie Mistress

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Newbie Mistress

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Newbie Mistress - 11/3/2005 12:06:34 AM

Msfrauline

Posts: 18
Joined: 10/16/2005
Status: offline

Hello:

I am new to the scene as a "lifestyle" and I am seeking an experienced Mistress/Domme who is willing to chat with me about different ways I can take control of my marriage now that I have decided to embrace my husbands submissiveness and my aparent dominant ways. He keeps begging me to take control and I honestly for the most part tease and torment him but what and how do you "take control" of someone.

Thanks to all.

MsFrauline

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Newbie Mistress - 11/3/2005 4:38:32 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

You are in a good place to receive that information. The diverse personalities of the posters on this board will provide you a plethora of ideas to enhance your exchange with your husband.

I would be happy to talk with you via email exchange & I am sure many others will tell you the same.

Might I suggest as a first step, you & your husband sit down & come up with a list of limits & expectations. What do you want from this relationship. He can't cop-out & just say 'you take control'. Establish your communication now as it will be essential to the relationship being a success.

_____________________________

MstrssPassion

(in reply to Msfrauline)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Newbie Mistress - 11/3/2005 10:38:22 PM

Msfrauline

Posts: 18
Joined: 10/16/2005
Status: offline

Thanks for gettging back to me. I have received some very supportive comments from several Mistresses on line. Most of whome seem to agree with me that I don't have to enjoy this scene the same way he does to prove that it is something I am interested in. He seems to think that since I don't get sopping wet with excitement that I am not interested and that I am just doing this to make him happy. Many of the women I have talked to here have told me that I don't have to get the same thing out of it that he does.

Can you recommend a Mistress that would be good to chat with?

Thanks,

Ms, Frauline.

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Newbie Mistress - 11/4/2005 4:34:14 AM

chgodomcouple

Posts: 309
Joined: 10/24/2005
Status: offline

communication is the key in any relationship

(in reply to Msfrauline)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Newbie Mistress - 11/4/2005 10:27:12 AM

DrkAngl

Posts: 145
Joined: 4/9/2005
Status: offline

quote:

and I honestly for the most part tease and torment him but what and how

This is your chance to get the kind of attention from you husband that you've wanted or was missing. :) Make a list of what you'd like to see happen at the house, behavior changes, ect. If it's you taking control he wants, sounds like you've got an opportunity to do some things you've always wanted. :)

I agree that you and your husband should sit down and talk limits and what you expect out of the whole thing. :)

(in reply to chgodomcouple)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Newbie Mistress - 11/4/2005 11:20:53 AM

Janon

Posts: 17
Joined: 9/1/2005
Status: offline

I'm fairly new too, so take what I say with a grain of salt...

I know the newbie mistake I made was letting him top me from below. He wanted to be spanked, dressed like a girl, and other kinky pleasures, where I was much more attracted to the power exchange and the expression of our roles. I did the kink thing for a while but it just didn't "do it" for me.

Then I realized--if I'm the one in charge here (by consent), I don't have to do a damn thing I don't want to or that doesn't suit my fancy. So I quit being kinky and focused on the power exchange. He was upset, we talked. A LOT. TALKED for hours about submission, dominance, desire, etc etc etc. Finally, we reached an understanding. By that I mean, he understood what I meant when I asked for submission, and he took a long look at himself to see if he wanted to submit, or if he wanted to play kinky.

Gladly, he chose submission. Now, I can put the kink in where and when I desire and I can get what I want when I want from him without worrying that I will upset him. I don't break out the toys as much as he would like, but his pleasure is in my pleasure now, and that works much better for us.

Hope that helped!
Janon

(in reply to DrkAngl)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Newbie Mistress - 11/4/2005 12:31:44 PM

Msfrauline

Posts: 18
Joined: 10/16/2005
Status: offline

Thanks for your response.
He and I talk about this all the time. Some times it seems never ending conversations. We went throught the same think..kink vs. the lifestyle. Right now I am doing a little of both at my pace. He does top me from the bottom at times but I am fine with it because I am not certain what I should be doing. It also gives me ideas.

My problem arised because I don't always want to be in control and he gets upset because I am doing the dishes or taking the trash out. I was raised to do things like that so I am not exactly certain how to appreciate someone else do it for me. It definitly doesn't turn me on knowing he is going to wash my car or do the dishes.

(in reply to Janon)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: Newbie Mistress - 11/4/2005 12:35:51 PM

Msfrauline

Posts: 18
Joined: 10/16/2005
Status: offline

Thanks for your response.
Honestly there really wasn't much missing from our marriage, at least from my eyes. Since the day we met four years ago he always puts me first in the bedrom and I have never gone without been completly serviced. He always climaxes after me and only if I give him the ok.

He's a great guy but I don't know if I appreciate what he has to offer becuase I honestly didn't have much experience dating other men before him. So, I don't know why what he is offering up is such a big thing. I like dominating him but it's not always if ever for sexual reasons.

He doesn't pick up his cloths or do the laundry now that I think of it.

(in reply to DrkAngl)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: Newbie Mistress - 11/4/2005 11:55:04 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Msfrauline

He doesn't pick up his cloths or do the laundry now that I think of it.

LOL! Msfrauline, I am nearby, in Phoenix. Please feel free to email Me on the other side. I am close enough to just pick up a phone! Would love to talk.

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to Msfrauline)

Profile

Post #: 9