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Turning a task list into acts of submission - 6/18/2008 11:48:11 AM

TermsConditions

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Joined: 11/13/2007
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There is an excellent thread on the board currently regarding sub's capabilities with some excellent comments and discussions. There are lots of skilled subs serving some wonderful mistresses.

The discussion raised some tertiary observations and questions.

Some Dominants responded that the act of being served by subs in a non-sexual way (essentially skilled and unskilled manual labor) was fulfilling and to some, under the right circumstances, arousing.

The sub is performing these services in the context of a D/s dynamic. In the sub's mind he or she is "serving" mistress and it is fulfilling to the sub to serve and please the mistress.

This question then to the Miss, Ms., Mrs., Maams, Mistresses and other female dominants (and anyone else, really) :

If you are pleased or satisfied by such service, how do you demonstrate your pleasure to your sub?
Is it necessary for you to demonstrate pleasure or satisfaction?

I'm interested in the thinking and actions that transcend a favor for a friend or spouse into an act of submission.

_____________________________

TnC
Married, Novice Subbish-Type Person
and rider of the Drama Llama.

Post #: 1

RE: Turning a task list into acts of submission - 6/18/2008 11:52:01 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
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You tell them that your pleased with them. Realy what more do you need to do.

(in reply to TermsConditions)

Post #: 2

RE: Turning a task list into acts of submission - 6/18/2008 12:00:45 PM

DominantJenny

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Joined: 4/6/2008
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It's about mindset as much as anything; if you (both) are THINKING of it as a D/s thing, it becomes one. And then the response is the same as it would be in a sexual setting, basically; some dominants are generous with praise, some less so, some will find it sexually arousing and follow up on it, some won't, etc.

(in reply to TermsConditions)

Post #: 3

RE: Turning a task list into acts of submission - 6/18/2008 12:04:37 PM

TwoNYCDommes

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Joined: 1/14/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TermsConditions
If you are pleased or satisfied by such service, how do you demonstrate your pleasure to your sub?
Is it necessary for you to demonstrate pleasure or satisfaction?

I was going to say:

Sometimes I demonstrate my pleasure with a smile, sometimes with a "good boy," and sometimes with nothing at all.

But I realized I may not be thinking of the same types of services you are when I saw:

quote:

ORIGINAL: TermsConditions
I'm interested in the thinking and actions that transcend a favor for a friend or spouse into an act of submission.

Could you give an example?

(in reply to TermsConditions)

Post #: 4

RE: Turning a task list into acts of submission - 6/18/2008 12:04:47 PM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

I say thank you... I don't like to get into a system of service performed = reward or payment, to me that's a job.. not someone in service to me...

I have, however, months later given someone something -- usually leather (as in earning it) for something that made me very happy or service that I felt was worthy of earning a piece of leather. I usually wait a good deal of time though, until the service is all but forgotten, but you know.. Dommes and elephants never forget.

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to TermsConditions)

Post #: 5

RE: Turning a task list into acts of submission - 6/18/2008 12:06:57 PM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TermsConditions

I'm interested in the thinking and actions that transcend a favor for a friend or spouse into an act of submission.

i'm wondering, if we're talking about just regular everyday tasks and duties, like house and yardwork; what makes something an act of submission anyways?

i mean, i do things for Ma'am that i wouldn't do for the average friend; but does that make it an act of submission. i just look at such things as simply being service.

Pay me no mind, i think i'm discovering that a couple of my pet peeves are the terms "act of submission" and "ultimate act of submission".

Like, if i scrub a kitchen floor for a friend who has a bad back it's just being helpful; but if i do the same for my Owner it's an act of submission? Or would i have to do it naked or in panties (oh please for the gods' sake i hope not, i honestly don't think anyone actually wants to see my pasty white ass in panties... at least not for less than 30 minutes after eating) for it to be an act of submission?

Say lighting a woman's cigarette, this is something that i will generally do at the drop of a hat (i also tend to pick up dropped hats without being asked, if that counts); does the fact that Ma'am expects it of me in certain situations what make it an act of submission?

*wanders off confused*

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to TermsConditions)

Post #: 6

RE: Turning a task list into acts of submission - 6/18/2008 12:21:46 PM

HalloweenWhite

Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
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IMO an act of submission happens when B/both see it as such-whether its tidying things up around the house, or anything else. If the submissive/slave thinks to themselves "I'm doing this for My Master/Mistress because they're My Master/Mistress and the Domme/Dom sees it that way, then that to Me is an act of submission.

(in reply to TermsConditions)

Post #: 7

RE: Turning a task list into acts of submission - 6/18/2008 1:05:19 PM

TheShadows

Posts: 403
Joined: 9/16/2004
From: Southern Illinois
Status: offline

I think a simple "thank you" would suffice, if I chose to voice my satisfaction with that particular task.

As always, YMMV...
~MrsShadows~

_____________________________

"The reason the mainstream is thought of as a stream is because of it's shallowness." - George Carlin

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most..." - Ozzy Osbourne

(in reply to TermsConditions)

Post #: 8

RE: Turning a task list into acts of submission - 6/18/2008 1:10:53 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Thank you, is my general response, though not for EVERY tiny thing. I show appreciation for work well done, but running an errand for me, or attending an antiques auction, or whatever I ask, it's just part of the job, isn't it? The job of making ME a Happy Dominant. And Happy Dominants are in the mood to play that much more!

But still, it's not a one-to-one correspondence, or some kind of carrot and stick rewards deal.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to TheShadows)

Post #: 9

RE: Turning a task list into acts of submission - 6/18/2008 2:17:44 PM

TermsConditions

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Joined: 11/13/2007
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Thanks for your response, Darch. Your struggle is my struggle. I’m similarly confused and a lot less practical experience with which to work.

I’m not looking for “correct” answers; there aren’t any. And there are some (many? most?) for whom the question may not even be valid or worth considering.

_____________________________

TnC
Married, Novice Subbish-Type Person
and rider of the Drama Llama.

(in reply to darchChylde)

Post #: 10

RE: Turning a task list into acts of submission - 6/18/2008 2:21:44 PM

TermsConditions

Posts: 446
Joined: 11/13/2007
Status: offline

It could be any task -- doing laundry, for exaple. What is required to take the task of going laundry and frame it in the context of D/s for you?

quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoNYCDommes

quote:

ORIGINAL: TermsConditions
If you are pleased or satisfied by such service, how do you demonstrate your pleasure to your sub?
Is it necessary for you to demonstrate pleasure or satisfaction?

I was going to say:

Sometimes I demonstrate my pleasure with a smile, sometimes with a "good boy," and sometimes with nothing at all.

But I realized I may not be thinking of the same types of services you are when I saw:

quote:

ORIGINAL: TermsConditions
I'm interested in the thinking and actions that transcend a favor for a friend or spouse into an act of submission.

Could you give an example?

_____________________________

TnC
Married, Novice Subbish-Type Person
and rider of the Drama Llama.

(in reply to TwoNYCDommes)

Post #: 11

RE: Turning a task list into acts of submission - 6/18/2008 2:39:24 PM

TwoNYCDommes

Posts: 237
Joined: 1/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TermsConditions
It could be any task -- doing laundry, for exaple. What is required to take the task of going laundry and frame it in the context of D/s for you?

Nothing is required beyond the relationship. Anything our submissives do for us (be it laundry, running errands, massaging my feet, taking a beating, etc.) is automatically framed in the context of D/s, simply because that is the nature of the relationship. Individual tasks, however mundane, do not require any additional framing.

(in reply to TermsConditions)

Post #: 12

RE: Turning a task list into acts of submission - 6/18/2008 3:09:09 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

It may be just the way I'm seeing it, but I think it has to do with context. As was said, the things My sub does for Me might very well be the same things that he would do to help someone else. However, it also has to do with the flow between the two. I know when I look at him, smile, and say, "thank you, lil one," it's much different than when I thank a friend for something.

On another note, I do reward. Yes, it is all a part of serving Me, but I don't think his service should be a thankless job with no benefits. There are pages and pages of threads on these boards about punishment, but not nearly the same number about rewards. Most of these are things that I enjoy as well, such as setting aside quiet time to stroke his hair. I guess I'm just mushy that way.

Don't let that last part get out. It will ruin My rep.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to TwoNYCDommes)

Post #: 13

RE: Turning a task list into acts of submission - 6/18/2008 3:45:14 PM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Most of these are things that I enjoy as well, such as setting aside quiet time to stroke his hair. I guess I'm just mushy that way.

Don't let that last part get out. It will ruin My rep.

Ummm... LP, i don't know how to tell you this; but that is your rep.

i guess, as has been said before, it is all contextual. Perhaps i'm just bristling at the terminology (i do that sort of thing occasionally); but if i do something for Ma'am; it is service, or an "act of submission" by the simple fact that it is for my Owner.

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 14

RE: Turning a task list into acts of submission - 6/18/2008 4:10:58 PM

Misstoyou

Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

... it's just part of the job, isn't it? The job of making ME a Happy Dominant.

Exactly. Which is why a lot of the time, instead of saying, "thank you", I say, "Well, *that* made me happy."

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 15

RE: Turning a task list into acts of submission - 6/18/2008 4:26:37 PM

pixelslave

Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

It may be just the way I'm seeing it, but I think it has to do with context. As was said, the things My sub does for Me might very well be the same things that he would do to help someone else. However, it also has to do with the flow between the two. I know when I look at him, smile, and say, "thank you, lil one," it's much different than when I thank a friend for something.

In essence, I think you're saying how it's expressed is largely a matter of how your D/s dynamic is defined. The very fact there's a D/s dynamic involved for most of us "s" types makes nearly anything we do for our "D" types an act of service, even if we'd do it for someone else. It's part of our state of mind when we think of our Dominants.

quote:

On another note, I do reward. Yes, it is all a part of serving Me, but I don't think his service should be a thankless job with no benefits. There are pages and pages of threads on these boards about punishment, but not nearly the same number about rewards. Most of these are things that I enjoy as well, such as setting aside quiet time to stroke his hair. I guess I'm just mushy that way.

Don't let that last part get out. It will ruin My rep.

No need to worry about your rep Lady Pact, I think we've got your number by now.

I agree though that not enough is said here about the positive aspects about D/s relationships. Otherwise, why would a sane man want to live one 24/7?

- pixel

For latest update on Wyatt, see my journal.

_____________________________

Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 16

RE: Turning a task list into acts of submission - 6/18/2008 4:35:34 PM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pixelslave

I agree though that not enough is said here about the positive aspects about D/s relationships. Otherwise, why would a sane man want to live one 24/7?

\

i never claimed any hold on sanity, but i am loved by those that i love; why excuse do i have to not simply just be happy?

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to pixelslave)

Post #: 17

RE: Turning a task list into acts of submission - 6/18/2008 4:46:37 PM

pixelslave

Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde

quote:

ORIGINAL: pixelslave

I agree though that not enough is said here about the positive aspects about D/s relationships. Otherwise, why would a sane man want to live one 24/7?

\

i never claimed any hold on sanity, but i am loved by those that i love; why excuse do i have to not simply just be happy?

If you're getting your needs met, it's only natural that you'd be happy darch and I'm very pleased to hear that's what's occuring in your dynamic.

OTOH, there could be those who upon making a cursory read of the boards, could easily walk away with a very different view of the big picture of all this lifestyle can entail; particularly as some of the finer moments shared between a Domme and sub are rarely spoken of or shared.

- pixel

_____________________________

Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!

(in reply to darchChylde)

Post #: 18

RE: Turning a task list into acts of submission - 6/18/2008 4:59:42 PM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pixelslave

OTOH, there could be those who upon making a cursory read of the boards, could easily walk away with a very different view of the big picture of all this lifestyle can entail; particularly as some of the finer moments shared between a Domme and sub are rarely spoken of or shared.

- pixel

Absolutely true; from what i see, so many get caught up in the trappings of bdsm... the beatings, bondage, play or punishment; the leather, latex, corsets or high boots; the humiliation, degradations, service and sex where for me it is much more, or possibly much less than any or all of that.

It's about a strong interpersonal connection where you cannot see your life without another. It's about love, trust, chemistry and passion. It's about searching for yourself and finding another, vulnerability and tender moments. It's about feeling part of something more than yourself, about following someone who is not greater for any other reason than the rational and emotional decision that you choose to see and accept them as such. It's not about simple weakness or strength, but the giving up and taking of power with love and responsibility; it's about family.

At least, that's what this thing is all about to me.

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to pixelslave)

Post #: 19

RE: Turning a task list into acts of submission - 6/18/2008 7:15:22 PM

DelilahDeb

Posts: 429
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
... it's just part of the job, isn't it? The job of making ME a Happy Dominant.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Misstoyou
Exactly. Which is why a lot of the time, instead of saying, "thank you", I say, "Well, *that* made me happy."

Sometimes I don't even know that something will make me happy until after it's accomplished, because I'm focused on the fact that it needs doing. But being able to look around my home and feel good about what I'm looking at, or knowing that when this summer eventually heats to summer temps, I have screen doors to be able to ventilate it in the evenings without letting in another flying allergen (skeeters!).

To which I say, once again, old_mech, thank you ever so munch!

Delilah Deb

_____________________________

"All acts of love & pleasure are My rituals."
--from the Charge of the Goddess, a Wiccan teaching

(in reply to Misstoyou)

Post #: 20

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