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New to submission - 6/18/2008 6:08:00 PM   
puppypauer


Posts: 16
Joined: 6/18/2008
Status: offline 		My Master and I MrFester are new to this lifestyly, it was introduced to him about 2 weeks ago and we are just getting into it.  Anything i need to know to ease myself into being a submissive? We generally have 3 imp chaperones around so a lot of stuff takes place after they are sleeping.

< Message edited by puppypauer -- 6/18/2008 6:19:11 PM >

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RE: New to submission - 6/18/2008 6:39:13 PM   
katie978


Posts: 352
Joined: 7/21/2007
Status: offline 		  Two weeks in is a bit early to start thinking of himself as a master.

  I suggest you both take some time and do a lot of reading. While it's easy to take a crop and start beating a pretty girl, there's considerably more to it than that, such as avoiding dangerous areas. Take any advice you read on here (including mine!) with a dash of salt, since many on here are more focused on being snarky than giving legitimate advice
  There are plenty of great books available on the subject. I found a copy of "Different Loving" on the shelves of my local Barnes and Noble. It might be smart for your and your partner to ease into the dynamic while you're learning, so you both feel free to openly discuss your expectations and revelations.
Good luck!

_____________________________



"That's the plan. Rule the world. You and me. Anyday ::wink::"



(in reply to puppypauer)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: New to submission - 6/18/2008 7:59:42 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		books are a great resource....and what i would ad is that sometimes folks new to the scene will take everything too seriously....dont worry about mess ups they will happen on both sides, just know that you are choosing to take that adventure together, and that its suposed to be fun...

_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to katie978)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: New to submission - 6/18/2008 8:19:58 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Be excellent to eachother.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to crouchingtigress)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: New to submission - 6/18/2008 9:57:39 PM   
ghettoloveinblo


Posts: 12
Joined: 8/5/2007
Status: offline 		You need to do your research...both of you. Education is a building block for this type of relationship, as well as with any other.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: New to submission - 6/18/2008 10:56:31 PM   
shivermetimbers


Posts: 2060
Joined: 6/7/2008
Status: offline 		Congrats!  I hope the two of you enjoy a wonderful life exploring.

_____________________________

I love you Deanna, you make every day a better day.

If we descended from monkeys and apes, why are there still monkeys and apes?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZ3CJi0Ih9s&feature=player_embedded

http://www.thebuccozone.com/piratesong.htm

(in reply to puppypauer)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: New to submission - 6/18/2008 11:15:05 PM   
NeedingMore220


Posts: 615
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: puppypauer

My Master and I MrFester are new to this lifestyly, it was introduced to him about 2 weeks ago and we are just getting into it.  Anything i need to know to ease myself into being a submissive? We generally have 3 imp chaperones around so a lot of stuff takes place after they are sleeping.



A few questions ... Do you know what being owned means to you?  To him?  How does this alter the dynamics of your relationship as they existed in the past?  What are his expectations and yours?  What do you both want to try?  What turns both of you on - and are you both willing to explore what the other desires? 

Best of luck to you.  Remember as you do your reading to take everything you read with a grain of salt and to take what makes sense to you and your relationship and leave the rest aside.  There are no rules, only what works for your relationship. 

(in reply to puppypauer)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: New to submission - 6/19/2008 4:33:38 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		If your married to him then he should be your submissive. Is'nt that the way it usualy works out. Now if your just getting into the lifestyle try browbeating him. Once he gets used to that then you can move on to other stuff. Humiliation (his friends calling him a pussy). Taking a flogging should be easy for him (he should already be pussy whipped). Read what Needingmore said. It is good advice.  

(in reply to NeedingMore220)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: New to submission - 6/19/2008 4:42:51 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

My Master and I MrFester are new to this lifestyly, it was introduced to him about 2 weeks ago and we are just getting into it. Anything i need to know to ease myself into being a submissive? We generally have 3 imp chaperones around so a lot of stuff takes place after they are sleeping.


Damn,

I knew it was coming soon, now it has arrived / an instant "D: and :s"!

CP

(in reply to puppypauer)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: New to submission - 6/19/2008 4:44:15 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		C.P all you have to do is to add water and presto.

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: New to submission - 6/19/2008 4:46:48 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		Im going to second what LA said and add, just do what makes you both happy, though of course you will get the one true wayers telling you its wrong, and of course its not real because its new, but at the end of the day its what works for you. :D good luck

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: New to submission - 6/19/2008 6:14:34 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		There's a lot of emphasis on the physical aspects, but I think that true submission takes place between the submissive's ears.

He has to be willing to invest the extra effort to determine what he wants and communicate it to you.  You need to spend the extra effort to follow his rules.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: New to submission - 6/19/2008 7:26:15 AM   
SirKaton


Posts: 104
Joined: 3/31/2008
Status: offline 		Read, read and then read some more.  There are some great on-line resources as well.  Seek out folks on your local scene and get to know other people who are in the lifestyle.

After the research, communication is the key.  You BOTH need to be open and honest about your feelings, good, bad or otherwise.  Do not be afraid to tackle the more difficult subjects like your fears, limits, and concerns.  This dynamic is built on trust and honesty, care and consideration.

DO know that your submission will not always be physical and sexual.  When you see yourself responding not only to the physical and sexual, but mental, you know are heading in the right direction.

And as I like to tell my ladies, this whole thing is a process, day by day and even at times, minute by minute.  There is no rush because truly, there is no "end point".  The first lesson of submission is patience...

< Message edited by SirKaton -- 6/19/2008 7:30:32 AM >

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....before me there was none; after me there shall be no more...

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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: New to submission - 6/19/2008 9:00:29 AM   
Midearthtrainer


Posts: 67
Joined: 10/10/2004
Status: offline 		Besides doing those suggestions of the others, I'll add my own
While you are doing your due diligence(i.e. reading), I want you to cut a piece of paper into bookmark strips. While you are reading and something makes you interested or just plain hot; jot down the book, the page and the paragraph (if you have to) in green ink and use red ink for the things that turn you off. Have other half do the same thing with black for turn-ons and red for turn-offs.
The night before you have a day off (Friday night for not working Saturday) I want the both of you to pick the three things that did the most for you both turn ons and turn offs. I'll leave Saturday night to your imaginations, providing the babysitter is available.
If the two of you find that this lifestyle works for you, you do not have to hide it. You can continue the power exchange throughout the day as a natural and normal part of your daily life. With imps seeing you refer to dad for the final authority, it will be a natural for them. FYI, "When dad is home, he is the boss, when dad is not home I am the boss." This way they don't dismiss you and the family dynamics can continue; if it isn't this way already. It will be all the little things that you can do with imps around. Serving dad first at the table. Sitting at dad's feet while watching TV. Like I said, simple things that already occur during your everyday life, can be used to show the two of you how committed you want to be to this lifestyle. In about two years from now; you can answer this question and know its meaning:
Can you stand naked before Master at all times? 
Imagination and communication are the keys - commitment is glue binding all those whose relationships are still together.
P.S.
Don't be surprised if a scene that the two of you start out with:
Doesn't go as planned - be flexible and go with the flow
Doesn't go as fast as planned - beginning rope work good example
Doesn't turn out as exciting as planned - use this to make notes on what parts worked and what parts didn't
Exploring means making mistakes on both sides. Correct them and continue on. Above all, have fun, both physically and mentally. 

(in reply to SirKaton)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: New to submission - 6/19/2008 1:54:01 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Don't feel you have to do everything at once. Pick one evening a week and spend that devoting yourself to him. Then the next night you can finish the new book you were reading without resenting him interrupting you. If this is something you both enjoy, then add a couple more evenings, or Saturday morning.

It's as easy to say to the youngins "we're having French Toast not pancakes today because that's Daddy's favorite". You can do pancakes or bagels and cream cheese the next day. It isn't about crawling on the floor, although that's always fun, but about thinking about stuff that he would like and then doing it.

And don't feel guilty if it isn't working for you and all you want is a bit of slap and tickle after hours. What matters is that you do things that both of you like, not that you memorize 128 slave rules over night.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Midearthtrainer)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: New to submission - 6/19/2008 6:18:04 PM   
MrFester


Posts: 48
Joined: 6/17/2008
Status: offline 		So I am curious as to why people find the need to come on and insult someone.  Comments such as
quote:

Damn,

I knew it was coming soon, now it has arrived / an instant "D: and :s"!

CP
are not helpful in any way and do nothing to help us learn.  We are here to find help, not snappy retorts to logistical errors.

(in reply to puppypauer)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: New to submission - 6/19/2008 10:35:48 PM   
underXyourXhand


Posts: 6
Joined: 6/15/2008
Status: offline 		i dont think you can really "learn" to be a submissive.  its a personality trait.  being a submissive means you will do whatever it takes to please him and expect nothing in return but maybe a simple thank you.  you cant learn to be submissive. 

(in reply to MrFester)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: New to submission - 6/19/2008 10:39:59 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		I recommend reading (check out the books in my signature) about both the lifestyle and about relationships. I also recommend finding your local groups and attending demos and such together.

Then, I second what LA said: Be excellent to each other. *air guitar*

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to puppypauer)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: New to submission - 6/19/2008 10:45:03 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: underXyourXhand
i dont think you can really "learn" to be a submissive.  its a personality trait.  being a submissive means you will do whatever it takes to please him and expect nothing in return but maybe a simple thank you.  you cant learn to be submissive. 

Actually no it's not a personality traits.  Many slaves and subs actually have dominant personalities or personality traits.

It's an orientation.

Do whatever it takes, eh?  You expect NOTHING but a simple thank you?  Ever?  Bold statements. 

And while you can't learn to be a submissive, you can be a shitty submissive.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to underXyourXhand)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: New to submission - 6/20/2008 5:27:02 AM   
NeedingMore220


Posts: 615
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: underXyourXhand

i dont think you can really "learn" to be a submissive.  its a personality trait.  being a submissive means you will do whatever it takes to please him and expect nothing in return but maybe a simple thank you.  you cant learn to be submissive. 



I suppose that's one way of looking at it.  Personally, I get so much more out of it than a simple thank you.  I am fulfilled, satisfied and many, many other things. 

You have to watch out for people telling you your relationship should be set up a certain way or else it's not real or the way it 'should be'.

(in reply to underXyourXhand)
Profile   Post #: 20
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