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submitting to a couple is better? - 6/19/2008 3:20:28 AM   
MrJandMrsG


Posts: 2
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I like to hear your views
on this.
 
MrsG


< Message edited by MrJandMrsG -- 6/19/2008 3:22:37 AM >
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RE: submitting to a couple is better? - 6/19/2008 3:32:01 AM   
colouredin


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Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		Whats your question about? Humiliation or submitting to a couple?

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RE: submitting to a couple is better? - 6/19/2008 3:37:56 AM   
MrJandMrsG


Posts: 2
Joined: 6/13/2008
Status: offline 		it went wrong its about submitting to a couple.
 
just messing it up here, oh well so much for a firsttimer.
 
MrsG

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RE: submitting to a couple is better? - 6/19/2008 3:39:44 AM   
SweetNika


Posts: 955
Joined: 4/19/2008
From: Forest Hills, Maryland
Status: offline 		I am not sure I understand your question.
Are you asking if it is better to submit to a couple?
 
Blessed be,
Nika



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RE: submitting to a couple is better? - 6/19/2008 3:40:25 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		Are you asking what Mistresses think about it? and what is the motivation for your asking?

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RE: submitting to a couple is better? - 6/19/2008 5:26:45 AM   
iwearpanties


Posts: 509
Joined: 7/21/2005
Status: offline 		as a sub male i have wondered about this my self do Dom Couples likes male subs ?

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RE: submitting to a couple is better? - 6/19/2008 5:27:35 AM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		It depends on the BDSM sexual orientation of the submissive, and the type of relationship sought.

Some people have a different orientation for sexual or intimate relationships and a different one for BDSM. To submit to a couple one would have to be bisexual with respect to BDSM (engages in BDSM with both sexes).

Also, such a relationship could work for someone seeking a relationship based on BDSM only while a different relationship provides needs for romantic companionship and the like. For one seeking romantic companionship only, submitting to a couple would not work.

Cheers,

Sea

< Message edited by undergroundsea -- 6/19/2008 5:28:35 AM >

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RE: submitting to a couple is better? - 6/19/2008 5:35:06 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		I think the OP wants to hear views about submitting to a couple, versus a single dominant.
Personally, I think it is far HARDER to submit to a couple. Any time there are 2 people in charge, it will be more difficult to make them both happy. What happens if orders contradict? What if you are in the mist of one thing and one of the couple orders you to stop what you are doing to take care of them... but what you were doing was on command from the other.
ASide from the obvious difficulties of compatible sexuality, communication is harder when there are more people to throw into the mix.

My opinion of course.
DV


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RE: submitting to a couple is better? - 6/19/2008 6:20:55 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		My initial reaction is that whenever a sub or slave serves more than one person that raise potential conflicts in authority and time management.

But those are the same considerations in any poly dynamic.

The difference is that is someone is going to be considered a slave then it becomes increasingly difficult to say "I can't right now" to someone who owns you. Do they own you or not after all? Some things in life are just life -- illnesses, the need to earn a living, etc, but if the other reason you can't be with your owner is another owner I can imagine that sets up a different type of potential conflict.

If they are married this might lessen such conflicts, just has having multiple slaves living with an owner means they can spend "family time" together.

I'd make very sure that said couple though was on very firm ground and how clear rules about who had authority over what and when. One of the last things I'm sure any sub or slave wants is to be pulled into the middle of any couple conflicts.

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RE: submitting to a couple is better? - 6/19/2008 6:24:36 AM   
iwearpanties


Posts: 509
Joined: 7/21/2005
Status: offline 		i think your rite about doing for one and then being told to stop and do for the other that is somethign i never thoguth about . as a Mistress or Domme would you want to see yours dommed by others Male or Female or Dom couples

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RE: submitting to a couple is better? - 6/19/2008 6:36:30 AM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
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From: Austin, TX
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quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo
The difference is that is someone is going to be considered a slave then it becomes increasingly difficult to say "I can't right now" to someone who owns you..


I have submitted to a female couple and have not had this problem. Also, a scenario of having more than one person who has authority over an individual is a common one in life. If one is amidst a task assigned by person A and person B comes in with another, I think it would be reasonable to explain the task at hand and ask what should be done. In most cases, either person B would be willing to wait or, if the second task had greater priority and must be done immediately, would assume resonponsibility for addressing the matter with person A. I think the responsibility of determining a heirarchy of authority or a protocol for determining priority of instructions lies with the couple.

Cheers,

Sea

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RE: submitting to a couple is better? - 6/19/2008 6:43:30 AM   
Sylverdawn


Posts: 1123
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I think there has to be a primary owner .... as well the household has to be set up so that the expectations are clearly outlined.. the boy/girl understands his her duties... and there should be no stop doing what your doing and do for me.. for example Miss comes in a finds boy/girl doing the ironing.. "why" she says.. "because Mr needed his shirt ironed" ( first this should never happen because the requirments should be that ironing be done on say sunday nights for the week in advance) "ah" says the Miss, "well when your done the groceries need unpacking" I cant see a situation where two come inconflict if they have set up a system for duties and discipline.

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RE: submitting to a couple is better? - 6/19/2008 6:44:13 AM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		We are a dom/domme couple (like no one knew that... lol) and maybe our dynamic is different then most. First off, we never over-ride what the other has said unless something has happened or come up and one of us has to make a "corporate decision" at the last minute. I can't honestly remember when that's happened, but should it happen then the explanation will come from the one who made the decision, not the sub/slave that followed it. We avoid the time management and authority conflicts completely. But it's taken time, we didn't become this well oiled machine over night.
 
And yes iwear, some dominant couples do accept males.
 
Jewel

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RE: submitting to a couple is better? - 6/19/2008 6:51:36 AM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		I would say different, when it works out more compatible, perhaps more difficult and challenging in a way..

But better? I can only give this answer with regard to myself and not generally. I refuse to make generalizations when it comes to quality judgments.

I identify myself as a lesbian and therefcre submit primarily to Dommes, but I have nothing against submitting to a couple - here I mean a male/female couple. But the thing is what I hope for - the sharing of the power dynamic between three people, two of which are dominant - rarely if ever happens and what you tend to find is that both want an equal amount of control and their own individual dynamic, which can be for me confusing or indeed lead to conflicts. Maybe I'm wrong here but I see a couple as a unit and feel that somehow things should sort of 'dovetail'. It works for me if the female is the leading authority and the male secondary, where the final result always amounts to the same - my submission. I recognise that a male Dom is different from a Domme, and so I seek different things from both which if provided make up a whole and the relationship for me would have a chance of success.

But this is just me.

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RE: submitting to a couple is better? - 6/19/2008 7:18:33 AM   
TwoNYCDommes


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quote:

ORIGINAL: iwearpanties
Dom Couples likes male subs ?


We do.

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RE: submitting to a couple is better? - 6/19/2008 7:26:03 AM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		Depends on what people want

I do not recommend it.

The couple needs to be extraordinary; they need to have an extraordinary relationship; they must be on the same page almost all the time about almost everything or have a very clear way to resolve conflict; they must be very solid relationshipwise.

When it all goes straight to hell, the person who will lose the most, be blamed the most, feel guilty the most is the submissive.

I was one of two who owned someone.  We thought we had it all worked out.  It was a nightmare and I doubt the boi will ever get over it and she had the least blame in the horrible situation, but she took it all on, despite what I told her.

Don't do it is my advice.



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RE: submitting to a couple is better? - 6/19/2008 7:28:06 AM   
TwoNYCDommes


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire
Personally, I think it is far HARDER to submit to a couple. Any time there are 2 people in charge, it will be more difficult to make them both happy. What happens if orders contradict? What if you are in the mist of one thing and one of the couple orders you to stop what you are doing to take care of them... but what you were doing was on command from the other.


This is certainly an issue to be addressed, but in no way insurmountable.  My darling and I give our subs clear guidelines at the beginning of the relationship as to what they should do if a situation arises in which it seems to them that they have received contradictory instructions from the two of us.  We also strive to avoid giving contradictory instructions, of course, so it almost never comes up.  However, we also warn our subs that they are at risk of being punished if we disagree with their actions in such a situation. 

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RE: submitting to a couple is better? - 6/19/2008 7:53:32 AM   
TermsConditions


Posts: 446
Joined: 11/13/2007
Status: offline 		Better than what?
 
Compare on this continuum:
 
Poke in the Eye with a Sharp Stick. >>>>>> Rubbermaid feed trough filled with Strawberry Jello and Anna Kournikova.
 
I think it's going to fall somewhere in the middle.

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RE: submitting to a couple is better? - 6/19/2008 9:36:40 AM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline 		it is my experience that couples want a female.  usually for sexual reasons. 
it is rare that they actually want a loving relationship.  having gone thru this bs myself which i'll never do again.  as i want to be loved..not used.

it is also rare that they would want a male.

note that i said its my experience and not what everyone of them want or do.


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RE: submitting to a couple is better? - 6/19/2008 10:03:26 AM   
BOUNTYHUNTER


Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline 		WE too are a married Dom couple and from the very start we haven't had much of a problem,IF Diane has the sub/slave doing some thing and me in my chair on my lazy ass and tells her to bring me a drink, Now thats minor but to over rule one order unless its an emergency or a great need by another just isn't done..Commication we hear all the time but this is what it takes...At one time 4 were collared here all females,Why females because we prefer females since most males are secretly only worrying about their cock...So far it has worked well for us...

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