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Help a Sister - 6/19/2008 12:42:13 PM   
tsatske


Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline 		so, i have a dear sis who is considering trying her hand at dominating men.
I told her to go find a good book to read. Usually when someone is telling me they are new and need advice, it is a Male Dom or femsub, and i kind of know what the great books are.
But when i look online, there are a lot of books specificly aimed at FemDomming. What are the truly great ones? What is the best one to tell her to buy and read 'first'?

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“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
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Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Help a Sister - 6/19/2008 12:49:33 PM   
DominantJenny


Posts: 645
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline 		Never found a book specifically for femdom that I liked. The Loving Dominant is worth a read, especially for an utter newbie. (By the time I got it, I'd already learned pretty much everything in it here and there online/by experience.)

(in reply to tsatske)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Help a Sister - 6/19/2008 2:47:46 PM   
slavekal


Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		I recommend Elise Sutton's books and website.

(in reply to DominantJenny)
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RE: Help a Sister - 6/19/2008 3:03:07 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline 		ahh...but if she is hot looking..especially in a teddy or some type of leather....she wont need to read any book 

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I did not reply to your cmail.
I am flawed.
Imperfect.
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SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to tsatske)
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RE: Help a Sister - 6/19/2008 3:17:48 PM   
tsatske


Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline 		true enough, Faery, at least not to attract them.
I saw the pic she was planning to put up of herself, i told her to expect 600 emails a day. CM can be bad that away.

_____________________________

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

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RE: Help a Sister - 6/19/2008 7:24:55 PM   
AllforFun


Posts: 83
Joined: 4/5/2007
Status: offline 		Ermmmm... I dont know any books that would help.

You have to understand that Femdom is sort of the hated genre by other BDSM groupies. Doms despise male subbies and the same is true of the femsubs hating Dommes. Its the nature of the beast, but there are books out there that deal with Femdom.


Elise Sutton is way too into the psychobabble with her "female superiority" theories. However, her domination methodology maybe worth looking at.

As sad as it is.... I think some of the best literature maybe fiction.


Ask AAkasha.

(in reply to tsatske)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Help a Sister - 6/19/2008 7:29:46 PM   
MySweetSubmssive


Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		AllforFun, ya beat me to it! -- Akasha's "good girl's guide to dominantion."  It's not a book, but an article online.  It's a fairly dogma-free intro.  It encourages you to do what *you* want and not some femdomme ideal to adhere to or what men may want her to do.  It was a good thing to read in terms of finding one's own center.

For me, beginning was more about finding a willing man and then figuring out what I wanted to do to/with him, rather than reading first.

Mss

< Message edited by MySweetSubmssive -- 6/19/2008 7:31:28 PM >

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RE: Help a Sister - 6/19/2008 8:00:08 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		My favorite:  Mistress Steel

< Message edited by LotusSong -- 6/19/2008 8:02:22 PM >

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


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Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Help a Sister - 6/19/2008 8:02:09 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I am not an elise sutton fan......honestly, I learned a lot from the gay leather stuff....Leatherman's Handbook and the like. 

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[page 23 girl]



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Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Help a Sister - 6/19/2008 8:26:40 PM   
Mustardseed


Posts: 291
Joined: 5/27/2006
From: Seattle, WA
Status: offline 		Honestly, I've learned more from watching other dominants than anything else.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Help a Sister - 6/19/2008 8:47:41 PM   
MistressTaboo


Posts: 147
Joined: 6/10/2005
Status: offline 		Honestly I don't read much of the FemDomme Books...
I do like S&M 101 it's a good basic read.
Elise Sutton is good if you care going the chastity route.
I learned CBT from Family Jewels.
The rest I learned from asking and munches/Parties.

The best thing she can do is find a good local mentor that can show you the ropes...no pun intended.

ETA: If the book is any good, it doesn't matter if it's FemDomme or not...if it's a good book she can picture the sub male and the domme female...explaining the dynamics is more important than gender...


< Message edited by MistressTaboo -- 6/19/2008 8:49:35 PM >

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(in reply to Mustardseed)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Help a Sister - 6/19/2008 9:11:23 PM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline 		My two favourites at the moment are
The Sensual Art of Female Dominance by Claudia Varrin
Female Dominance: Rituals And Practices by Claudia Varrin
The book Im reading now and really enjoying is
Female Domination: An Exploration of the Male Desire for Loving Female Authority, By Elise Sutton
The one that got me started looking for ideas and insight into MY darker side is
The Sexually Dominant Woman: a Workbook for Nervous Beginners by Lady Green which was the first book my pet sent to me when he knew I wanted to learn more:)
 
But really if she is able to get to munches and local events, her best source of help is other dominants I know Im not alone saying that  there are many willing to help out in some way, Ive met some wonderful ladies out there. Online of course is another avenue, there are more than a few Femdom  boards out there. Altho this is my favourite
Lucy

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\(•_•)
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(•_•)
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Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to MistressTaboo)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Help a Sister - 6/19/2008 10:05:07 PM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		I am all for book s and learning and reading and all , yet i would advise her to find a mentor Domme and ask if she  could co-Top with her  from time to time . First hand and hands on is much better ,learn by doing Many subbie bottoms shall be glad to help i am sure !Just inform them that your new , and you also have this co-topping mentor  and ask around for those  voluntolds i mean volunteers .

(in reply to Lucylastic)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Help a Sister - 6/20/2008 5:32:15 AM   
MsCfromMelbourne


Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		I think Femdom is more attitude than technique, so I learned more from the cult film "Preaching to the Perverted" than any book.

If you don't have P2P in your collection, you are going to LOVE IT!!!  That film crams every imaginable kind of fetplay into a wicked Femdom parody derived from the tragic Spanner trials in the UK

Look out for "Mr Happy" in the slave auction at Torture Garden.  He was actually one of the Spanner defendants' lawyers and consulted on the script.  Many of the lines in the movie are straight from the trial. 

BTWthe imprisonment of gay men for up to 4 and a half years for engaging in consensual BDSM in the UK was a disgusting violation of human rights that should never be forgotten . Operation Spanner was a disgrace

< Message edited by MsCfromMelbourne -- 6/20/2008 5:55:58 AM >

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<----- Corset, mask and collar designed and manufactured by metalsmith Karl H, chromed and lined in black suede. Masks and collars available from http://www.lucreziadesade.com.au/default.html. Corsets custom made only

(in reply to azropedntied)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Help a Sister - 6/20/2008 5:41:13 AM   
MsCfromMelbourne


Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		PS check out some of the stills from the movie

http://www.preachingtotheperv.com/media/img/photogallery/photo1.html


_____________________________

<----- Corset, mask and collar designed and manufactured by metalsmith Karl H, chromed and lined in black suede. Masks and collars available from http://www.lucreziadesade.com.au/default.html. Corsets custom made only

(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Help a Sister - 6/20/2008 6:24:02 AM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		Some women ARE Dominant.  Others just PLAY Domme.  Some of us just want to learn new techniques.  For that... I actually learned a lot going to Frolicon in Atlanta and attending all the classes.  Considering that none of my R/L boys were ever into CBT - I had A LOT to learn!  I even went so far as to find a sub who listed "CBT-Expert" on his profile and asked him a lot of questions.  There is SO much to know.  Hands-on learning is the best.  But being open to understanding that no one knows everything and how to ask questions is the next best thing.

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Help a Sister - 6/20/2008 10:40:44 AM   
LadyLynx


Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline 		MsC, I got to check that film out now.......I wonder if any places I can rent it from.....? (I hate buying stuff online.) But damn those pics were hot!

_____________________________

Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

Known as SwitchWitch in my local community,and on IRC Bondage.

I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

(in reply to MsStarlett)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Help a Sister - 6/20/2008 11:26:52 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I love Preaching to the Perverted!!  One of the faves in my collection---I can loan it to you, LL!

It's very true, I learned more from other people top AND bottom than from any book.  But there weren't that many books around when I was starting out....   Trial and error, eh!  Thankfully not tooooo many errors!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to LadyLynx)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Help a Sister - 6/20/2008 2:45:22 PM   
Reigna


Posts: 334
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline 		The Mistress Manual: The Good Girl's Guide to Female Dominance, by Lorelei. 1994, Greenery Press.

(in reply to tsatske)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Help a Sister - 6/20/2008 7:05:45 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsStarlett

Some women ARE Dominant.  Others just PLAY Domme.  Some of us just want to learn new techniques.  For that... I actually learned a lot going to Frolicon in Atlanta and attending all the classes.  Considering that none of my R/L boys were ever into CBT - I had A LOT to learn!  I even went so far as to find a sub who listed "CBT-Expert" on his profile and asked him a lot of questions.  There is SO much to know.  Hands-on learning is the best.  But being open to understanding that no one knows everything and how to ask questions is the next best thing.


  I've always felt that if you get the "mind right" the rest just flows. 
 

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to MsStarlett)
Profile   Post #: 20
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