RE: Are Doms or Masters also Switches?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Are Doms or Masters also Switches?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Are Doms or Masters also Switches?

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Are Doms or Masters also Switches? - 11/4/2005 9:30:59 AM

MsIncognito

Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline

If I felt that it was inappropriate I would have said "Hey, this topic is inappropriate" but instead I said " I bet if you asked them directly rather than asking the folks in the fora to to speculate you'd probably get a response." See how those two are totally not the same thing? Don't put words in my mouth pink or candy or whoever you are today. I'm perfectly capable of articulating what I mean without your very liberal interpretations.

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper
i'm not certain why You feel it is an inappropriate topic.

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 21

RE: Are Doms or Masters also Switches? - 11/4/2005 9:34:17 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Well see now she's gonna privately email you asking what beef you have with her and to tone it down.

Being a switch doesn't mean you want more than one partner any more than being bisexual does.

(in reply to MsIncognito)

Post #: 22

RE: Are Doms or Masters also Switches? - 11/4/2005 9:36:39 AM

MsIncognito

Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline

Waaaaay too late. LOL

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 23

RE: Are Doms or Masters also Switches? - 11/4/2005 3:05:22 PM

fyreredsub

Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline

it is possible to top others in scenes under a Doms direction w/out sex being part of the equation

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 24

RE: Are Doms or Masters also Switches? - 11/4/2005 6:17:24 PM

TahoeSadist

Posts: 176
Joined: 8/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fyreredsub

it is possible to top others in scenes under a Doms direction w/out sex being part of the equation

Of course it is.

TS

_____________________________

As long as one of us enjoys it, it's not a total waste

(in reply to fyreredsub)

Post #: 25

RE: Are Doms or Masters also Switches? - 11/4/2005 6:26:57 PM

KittenWithaTwist

Posts: 490
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline

Women who switch are perfectly capable of submitting, only. While some women prefer not to be in a relationship where they are only expressing one part of themselves, other women (or men, I'm sure) will have only one type of relationship with one person. For instance, I am a switch (or versatile, as I prefer). I am also in a relationship with a dominant straight man (my Master), who does not switch, ever. I am only submissive to him. When I am interested in dominating or topping, I go outside of our relationship to do so. I have other casual play partners, whom I top, mostly in play clubs, and I am allowed to do so according to my partner's rules. I have to ask permission to play with our toys, as well as go off and play with others, but after I am let go, I am a dominant top.

Also, if people are looking for a third, it's sometimes helpful to have a partner who switches, or is versatile, because then there are more possible scenarios.

Lastly, your comment:

quote:

i am baffled; i thought a Dom and Master was a separate class of Man from a Switch.

is a bit offensive to me, a switch. It sounds very put off... Perhaps you could put it a different way?

_____________________________

"Time travel: It's a cornocopia of disturbing concepts." ~Ron Stoppable

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 26

RE: Are Doms or Masters also Switches? - 11/4/2005 6:33:40 PM

KittenWithaTwist

Posts: 490
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

quote:

Sounds to me like, unless having a partner who switches even occasionally, and not with you, is a total turn-off (and it is for some submissives/slaves), that it's time for an actual conversation to see what "switch" means to him.

Bladerunner
who's all for conversation

Yes Sir; that is the crux of the problem; i want a Dom or Master who is completely and totally faithful to me...i cannot tolerate the idea of His having "something on the side". And i cannot switch; i seek a truely dominant Man who is in charge...and "topping" Him is just not for me.

i am truely amazed at the high number of profiles i have seen like this. It's as confusing as saying You're straight but are seeking a gay Man as a partner.

candystripper

Pardon me, but one can be "truly" dominant, or "truly" submissive and still be a switch. Just because someone is both doesn't mean they are less of one or the other. It's fine that you aren't attracted to people that switch. Some people aren't. But that doesn't mean that switching is any less of a valid and honest and "true" choice for anyone.

_____________________________

"Time travel: It's a cornocopia of disturbing concepts." ~Ron Stoppable

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 27

RE: Are Doms or Masters also Switches? - 11/5/2005 6:35:18 AM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Lastly, your comment:
quote:

i am baffled; i thought a Dom and Master was a separate class of Man from a Switch.

is a bit offensive to me, a switch. It sounds very put off... Perhaps you could put it a different way?

KittenWithaTwist

i apologise if i offended you; your voice here enriches the boards and i always learn something from you. As for putting the question another way, i apologise again; i wanted some feedback and thought it was important to say: i am confused by people with inconsistent profiles. But now that i reconsider, that itself would have been a better phrasing.

i hope you'll overlook my poor wording.

candystripper

(in reply to KittenWithaTwist)

Post #: 28

RE: Are Doms or Masters also Switches? - 11/5/2005 6:57:43 AM

LadyJulieAnn

Posts: 979
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Oumae

Why jump to the conclusion it means they want to switch?

If stated under what they seek it can as TahoeSadist said mean that they enjoy domming someone who switches with others.

Oumae

That's what I thought too. Perhaps he is a Dom who likes to watch play between two women, where one is topping the other. In any case, I am like you, candystripper. I will not enter into a relationship where my partner is going to have to fulfill other needs with someone else outside of our relationship.

I wish you luck in your search,
Julie

(in reply to Oumae)

Post #: 29

RE: Are Doms or Masters also Switches? - 11/5/2005 6:01:53 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Belladonna82

Well i will just say from experience....the Master which i serve is by far a switch but Master sometimes likes me to lol take control of other submissives/slaves.Personaly i do no consider myself a switch because i have never had the urge to dom. a man,but maybe in a way i am....i guess i'm just from the good ole days when the men wore the pants and women were aloud to be b*tches to each other. lol Wait thats the Gorean way too...explains why i am a kajira. So in simple.....the Alfa slave in a poly home has to have a little switch in her since she has to help lead the house if Master isnt present.

Excelent post Belladonna, I would heve expected nothing less from you

.

To put it in context from a Gorean perspective, and according to the books too. In a Gorean Home where there are multiple slaves, one slave may be chosen as the senior slave. She is refered to as the fg (First Girl). She as authority over the other slaves and may as needs be excorsize this for example if the Master is having a feast so that other slaves carry out their duties with clockwork precision without any of the Free having to interfere. The fg also may carry out some parts of the training of other slaves, following the training program set out by the Master. She often carries a swirch to administer punishment. If there are no Free present, other slaves refer to her as "Mistress". With all this, she is not a "Switch" as view by the BDSM Community but is more like a Non Commissioned Officer in the Military.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Belladonna82)

Post #: 30

RE: Are Doms or Masters also Switches? - 11/5/2005 7:47:57 PM

bladerunner5

Posts: 30
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

quote:

Sounds to me like, unless having a partner who switches even occasionally, and not with you, is a total turn-off (and it is for some submissives/slaves), that it's time for an actual conversation to see what "switch" means to him.

Bladerunner
who's all for conversation

Yes Sir; that is the crux of the problem; i want a Dom or Master who is completely and totally faithful to me...i cannot tolerate the idea of His having "something on the side". And i cannot switch; i seek a truely dominant Man who is in charge...and "topping" Him is just not for me.

i am truely amazed at the high number of profiles i have seen like this. It's as confusing as saying You're straight but are seeking a gay Man as a partner.

candystripper

Hi.

A) I'm not a sir.

B) What if your Master tells you to give him a back massage? What if he tells you to do deep tissue work on him? What if, to get at those pesky knots, you really have to work your elbow or whatever into his body? What if it hurts? What if he doesn't mind that, because it'll get those pesky knots worked out? What if he ends up kinda liking it, in that "it hurts so good when you stop" way? What if he ends up kinda liking it - even before you stop?

C) What if your Master, in His Infinite Wisdom and given the Order Of His Choosing, *orders* you to top him? Would you refuse an order?

Just curious.

Bladerunner
who has opened up the eyes of more than one "I Don't Bottom" dom/top

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 31

RE: Are Doms or Masters also Switches? - 11/5/2005 9:24:24 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bladerunner5

Hi.

A) I'm not a sir.

B) What if your Master tells you to give him a back massage? What if he tells you to do deep tissue work on him? What if, to get at those pesky knots, you really have to work your elbow or whatever into his body? What if it hurts? What if he doesn't mind that, because it'll get those pesky knots worked out? What if he ends up kinda liking it, in that "it hurts so good when you stop" way? What if he ends up kinda liking it - even before you stop?

Just curious.

Bladerunner
who has opened up the eyes of more than one "I Don't Bottom" dom/top

Greetings bladerunner,

The point you make is valid and I immagine not as uncommon as people would immagine. If some one enjoys a deep massage to remove the knots and even enjoys the pain, like many kids and some sdults pick scabs even when they bleed and hurt like hell or with their tingue, play with a bad tooth or hole in the gum where a tooth has been extracted. All you you know in these cases the sick feelimg and yet the excitement and pleasyure in doing such things and the enjoyable pain which you are creating. To me what this demonstrates is that most people have a natural masochistic streak in them. That they may ask or order another to do this (massage not playing with a rotten tooth or picking scabs), and that this is the only situation in which they do, for me does not make them a true switch as I understand the term.

For my own part, both my knees are wrecked and one of the best areas of pain relief is a long and at times deep massage around the entire knee cap. The feeling when my knees collaps on me so I cant stand is one of bone on bone in a rew wound. Now the pain with the massage at times is intense, it is exceptionally painfull and yet it is highly pleasurable (probably because too it is replacing one pain with another just like smashing toy fingers in a draw to alleviate the insane pain of a bad tooth ache). One of the duties of a sleve when I have one in a collar is to learn how to massage both my back and my knees or other joint areas which are huirting or cramping. What I command is a pain relief medical massage not a pain/pleasure play settion. Ergo I am not commanding her to top from the botto, nor am submitting/switching. There is not a single submissive bone in my body. hense I pose using your examples, the Switching etc would only occure if the intent was to enjoy the sensations and not for the relief which such a massage will afford. Others may have a different take on this and in the long way only the Dominant involved will know the truth of it.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to bladerunner5)

Post #: 32

RE: Are Doms or Masters also Switches? - 11/6/2005 8:11:03 AM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Hi.

A) I'm not a sir.

B) What if your Master tells you to give him a back massage? What if he tells you to do deep tissue work on him? What if, to get at those pesky knots, you really have to work your elbow or whatever into his body? What if it hurts? What if he doesn't mind that, because it'll get those pesky knots worked out? What if he ends up kinda liking it, in that "it hurts so good when you stop" way? What if he ends up kinda liking it - even before you stop?

C) What if your Master, in His Infinite Wisdom and given the Order Of His Choosing, *orders* you to top him? Would you refuse an order?

Just curious.

Bladerunner
who has opened up the eyes of more than one "I Don't Bottom" dom/top

Hi Bladerunner. Massage is definately one of my favorite fantasises..feet; scalp; neck; back; etc. i am not strong, so it would take time to "work the kinks out" but i think it would be immensely pleasing to both of Us. No, i cannot imagine a Man i was submissive to telling me to continue after i said "it hurts" because injury might result.

As for "telling" me to "top" a Him or a 3rd party; i'd be in the bedroom, packing. When i say "i want Monogamy" and "i want a Dom or Master" i mean it...it is not something i came to without examing my heart -- just as i am sure others have examined theirs and reached different conclusions. Just as have examined my heart, and know i cannot switch.

candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 11/6/2005 8:13:51 AM >

(in reply to bladerunner5)

Post #: 33

RE: Are Doms or Masters also Switches? - 11/6/2005 8:18:24 AM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

For my own part, both my knees are wrecked and one of the best areas of pain relief is a long and at times deep massage around the entire knee cap. The feeling when my knees collaps on me so I cant stand is one of bone on bone in a rew wound. Now the pain with the massage at times is intense, it is exceptionally painfull and yet it is highly pleasurable (probably because too it is replacing one pain with another just like smashing toy fingers in a draw to alleviate the insane pain of a bad tooth ache). One of the duties of a sleve when I have one in a collar is to learn how to massage both my back and my knees or other joint areas which are huirting or cramping. What I command is a pain relief medical massage not a pain/pleasure play settion. Ergo I am not commanding her to top from the botto, nor am submitting/switching. There is not a single submissive bone in my body. hense I pose using your examples, the Switching etc would only occure if the intent was to enjoy the sensations and not for the relief which such a massage will afford. Others may have a different take on this and in the long way only the Dominant involved will know the truth of it.

IronBear

You spoke much more eloquently than i Sir. Most especially, if massage brought Him relief from pain and not merely pleasure, i would be a bit of a pest, wanting it alot. There's something so tender and loving and submissive about relieving Your One of pain; or just the day's kinks.

candystripper

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 34

RE: Are Doms or Masters also Switches? - 11/6/2005 9:27:56 AM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Speaking as one of the Dom-types who enjoys switch females, it's because I have found that switches seem to have a certain mindset or personality or whatever you wish to call it, that appeals to me. As to your question in the topic, no I'm not. While I love switch females, and would have no prob owning one who then topped others, there would be the proverbial snowballs chance in Hell of me being one of her subjects.

Speaking as one of those switchy females this caught my attention. Personally for me the switch identifier is 2 fold: 1) I don't want a mailbox full of do me boys after a long day at work and 2) I am human enough to admit as a Domme that I had One that forfilled me and taught me to be the best I can be...in the position of HIS sub. The likelyhood of me dropping to my knees fetching and carrying for just any old Domly Dom wouldn't happen in this lifetime...I also believed this when I originally met this One until he proved his value. I think that the experience of seeing both sides of the coin is a valuable one that does not necessarily mean that every Dom/me or sub that's ever tried the other side should be coming out of the closet & confessing their switchyness. Frankly this is a label that I'm comfortable with that leaves me open to options. However I do admit that currently having a sub of my own I would be VERY reluctant to exercise the sub option to anyone even if they had "the right stuff".

< Message edited by theRose4U -- 11/6/2005 9:33:38 AM >

(in reply to TahoeSadist)

Post #: 35

RE: Are Doms or Masters also Switches? - 11/6/2005 11:30:53 AM

kinkiminx

Posts: 73
Joined: 10/5/2005
From: Brighton, Sussex, UK
Status: offline

i think its just like the whole straight-----bi-----gay idea... very few people are exactly one or the other, most are someone in between, one person might be 98% Dom, and another might be 75% Dom... so in that sense someone could be a Dom/Master and switch occasionally, perhaps just not often enough to say they're a switch...

and if someone is only looking for play it wouldn't necessarily imply that they intend to switch..

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 36

RE: Are Doms or Masters also Switches? - 11/6/2005 11:55:16 AM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

i think its just like the whole straight-----bi-----gay idea... very few people are exactly one or the other, most are someone in between, one person might be 98% Dom, and another might be 75% Dom... so in that sense someone could be a Dom/Master and switch occasionally, perhaps just not often enough to say they're a switch...

and if someone is only looking for play it wouldn't necessarily imply that they intend to switch..

very fair point...well said with 1 caviat...I KNOW I'm straight, I admit I'm switch.

(in reply to kinkiminx)

Post #: 37

RE: Are Doms or Masters also Switches? - 11/7/2005 2:07:33 AM

ExistentialSteel

Posts: 676
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Hi.

A) I'm not a sir.

B) What if your Master tells you to give him a back massage? What if he tells you to do deep tissue work on him? What if, to get at those pesky knots, you really have to work your elbow or whatever into his body? What if it hurts? What if he doesn't mind that, because it'll get those pesky knots worked out? What if he ends up kinda liking it, in that "it hurts so good when you stop" way? What if he ends up kinda liking it - even before you stop?

C) What if your Master, in His Infinite Wisdom and given the Order Of His Choosing, *orders* you to top him? Would you refuse an order?

Just curious.

Bladerunner
who has opened up the eyes of more than one "I Don't Bottom" dom/top

It is a stretch to go from deep massages to topping a Dom. I have no desire to be topped, but I love a great, deep massage. Being topped is more than accidental pain, it is psychological and deeply emotional as I'm sure the subs here know. It will be obvious when a Dom crosses over to that.

Have I ever popped myself on the thigh with a new toy to see how it feels..sure...but only once. I'm not saying being a switch is negative. Matter of fact, I can see how they may have advantages in ways, but it is not in my psychological make-up so why try it? It won't creep up on me from being massaged either.

_____________________________

For those who are like Roman Candles leaving bright trails in the night sky while the crowd watches until the dark blue center light bursts into magnificent colors and the crowd goes, ahhhhhhhhhh.

(in reply to bladerunner5)

Post #: 38

RE: Are Doms or Masters also Switches? - 11/7/2005 4:14:22 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExistentialSteel

Have I ever popped myself on the thigh with a new toy to see how it feels..sure...but only once. I'm not saying being a switch is negative. Matter of fact, I can see how they may have advantages in ways, but it is not in my psychological make-up so why try it? It won't creep up on me from being massaged either.

Good point. I test any new floggers on myself first and I still use me to practice needle play on. (I can reach my belly, my chest and my thighs easy. Not my thing, but I can handle the minor pain anyway and the only person at risk is me.)

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to ExistentialSteel)

Post #: 39

RE: Are Doms or Masters also Switches? - 11/7/2005 10:14:09 AM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

candystripper,

as has been noted by many above, we are a diverse group of people and the old different strokes for different folks applies here.

However my personal view is that a "D" will never place themselves in a position of anything other then complete control.

grins "Up the Celts"

CP

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 40

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Are Doms or Masters also Switches?

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.172