stella41b
Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
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Here we go again.... This happens time after time after time after time.. I'm actually surprised that this doesn't bore the pants off some people.
My first point is how come we've got to D/s already on the basis of exchange of e-mails and chatroom conversations? I'm sorry, I don't see no predators, I don't even see control issues here, I just see two people who encountered each other, tried to communicate and start some sort of interaction between each other, and failed for whatever reason (I'm neutral here).
quote:
Never make an emotional investment -- no matter how modest -- in a Man you've never met in real life.
Oh right, so if it doesn't work out with one man, or for that matter 200, then all men aren't worth it?
Two things. Firstly I look back on my life and near on 42 years of living and what do I see? I'll tell you what I see, I see about 70% of my life as being failure, cock-ups, mistakes, delusions, illusions, attempts to start the wrong friendships, the wrong relationships, being my own worst enemy, trying to please everyone, refusing to see reason, deceiving myself and not properly understanding the people and things around me.
The remaining 30% accounts for the successes, the friendships that lasted, the relationships which came and went but left a lot of happy memories, things I've learned, people I've met, places I've been, things I've learned how to do, knowledge, awareness, being able to see things from different perspectives, and basically learning to overcome and master my own stupidity.
This leads me to draw various conclusions. Life is hard, it's often unfair and most importantly, it's very short and ends when you least expect it. The older you get the less you can do and the less you're prepared to accept. Wisdom doesn't come cheap. Life requires effort, but you know, if you make that effort you're living, so why worry?
Another thing, relationships happen because the right person comes at the right time in the right circumstances and you both find the right words to communicate.
It requires luck, it really does. But then again you can make your own luck. Doesn't matter if you have good fortune or bad, the chances are that you are the one who is engineering it.
I'm sitting here wondering why am I writing this? Is it me, or is it some of the other people I come across?
You see the Internet is brilliant, best thing since sliced bread, but the downside is it sends a lot of people doo-lalley. You get the first group of people who just throw common sense and caution to the wind, and they're there, they just go straight in there and jump in with both feet. I bet a lot of them have got friends and family who know them shaking their heads and trying to prevent the ensuing drama, but no, this is THE ONE, the Messiah, the one who turns a life right round. And then, as sure as when you switch on your telly, there's drama. I've been there a few times, done it, got the T-shirt.
Then you get the second group of people, many of who have gone through the above, and it hasn't worked, or it won't work for them. 'Ah' they're fond of saying, 'Online isn't real time'. They're sceptical, suspicious, some are prone to jump to conclusions. The first sign of a red flag that's it, block, delete, and basically piss off I don't want to know you any more. A few of them even go on about living virtually but spend a lot of time online themselves, trapped in their own world of preconceived notions, generalizations and hasty judgments on other people. Been here too, done this, got the T-shirt.
I don't see this as an emotional investment so much - well it is to some degree - but more giving someone a chance, an opportunity. Most online encounters don't work out anyway, but there are those which do, and there are also people who can make online encounters work. But you don't start anything with anyone if you don't give them a chance.
And to me the next person deserves just as much of a chance as the last person. Giving chances is important, it leads to opportunities. Not every opportunity comes back a second time, not even in the rest of your life.
< Message edited by stella41b -- 6/21/2008 3:12:33 PM >
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