RE: Is It Time to Seek a Restraining Order?

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RE: Is It Time to Seek a Restraining Order? - 6/21/2008 11:35:14 AM

kdsub

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Maybe my advice is different...I would not worry one second with her... I would be deeply worried about my brother however. I would not be surprised that the woman may have driven him to drugs.. That of course is persumptious on my part but the missing checks and his apparent health point that way.

I would try and get him alone... find out if he has trouble with you or her and how he thinks you can help to keep your relationship with him solid. If that means eating shit I would for my brother.

But I would look for signs and confront him if I thought there were a drug or physical problem he is not addressing.

It is not important what she thinks of you... only what your brother does.

Butch

(in reply to popeye1250)

Post #: 21

RE: Is It Time to Seek a Restraining Order? - 6/21/2008 11:39:54 AM

popeye1250

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kdsub

Maybe my advice is different...I would not worry one second with her... I would be deeply worried about my brother however. I would not be surprised that the woman may have driven him to drugs.. That of course is persumptious on my part but the missing checks and his apparent health point that way.

I would try and get him alone... find out if he has trouble with you or her and how he thinks you can help to keep your relationship with him solid. If that means eating shit I would for my brother.

But I would look for signs and confront him if I thought there were a drug or physical problem he is not addressing.

It is not important what she thinks of you... only what your brother does.

Butch

Butch, well said.

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Post #: 22

RE: Is It Time to Seek a Restraining Order? - 6/21/2008 11:45:25 AM

Alumbrado

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If you are a lawyer, then you already know that restraining orders aren't issued as leverage against someone you have beef with...

And if you had proof which a court would accept that this person is a real and imminent danger to you, common sense and self preservation dictate that you would have taken it to someone by now.

(in reply to popeye1250)

Post #: 23

RE: Is It Time to Seek a Restraining Order? - 6/21/2008 11:49:08 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
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From: Savannah, GA
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restraining order, no... it's time to quit creating drama in the ways several others have already commented on

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Post #: 24

RE: Is It Time to Seek a Restraining Order? - 6/21/2008 12:19:21 PM

sirsholly

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i just realized who the OP is..name changes confuse me

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RE: Is It Time to Seek a Restraining Order? - 6/21/2008 12:22:12 PM

GreedyTop

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damn you're slow...

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Post #: 26

RE: Is It Time to Seek a Restraining Order? - 6/21/2008 12:28:09 PM

sirsholly

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

damn you're slow...

that suprises you? I'm the one that thought a merkin was a pickle!!

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Post #: 27

RE: Is It Time to Seek a Restraining Order? - 6/21/2008 12:31:36 PM

GreedyTop

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not really..but I lubs ya anyway ;)

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Post #: 28

RE: Is It Time to Seek a Restraining Order? - 6/21/2008 12:33:08 PM

sirsholly

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aww...lubs you too!!!

but ya coulda said you were a LITTLE suprised.....

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Post #: 29

RE: Is It Time to Seek a Restraining Order? - 6/21/2008 12:34:41 PM

GreedyTop

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ok, I was slightly shocked.

(happy now?)

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Post #: 30

RE: Is It Time to Seek a Restraining Order? - 6/21/2008 12:36:11 PM

sirsholly

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

ok, I was slightly shocked.

(happy now?)

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Post #: 31

RE: Is It Time to Seek a Restraining Order? - 6/21/2008 12:52:10 PM

Alumbrado

Posts: 5560
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

that suprises you? I'm the one that thought a merkin was a pickle!!

I thought you were just distracted looking for all those Unitarians I lost...

Took me a second too, but the ' i am a lawyer' and the 'i'm so old' other thread kind of added up in a pinkish sugary attention getting way.

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 32

RE: Is It Time to Seek a Restraining Order? - 6/21/2008 1:02:40 PM

WinsomeDefiance

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(experimenting with a theory here)

Dear OP,

My questions are sincere, and I would adore a response from you. I have no ability to insert inflection nor tone into this post so if it comes across as snarky, my apologies. I'm genuinely curious.

1) Why do you feel a few emails would warrant the need for a restraining order? Is there something I'm missing in the secnario?
2) Why would you hand over your checkbook to someone you say has congnitive impairment? Or did these symptoms appear after your fallout with his wife, and after you sent him off to run your errands for you?
3) Why would you expect someone with congnitive issues to be well, cognitive enough to balance your checkbook? I work in the Finanace/Credit Department of a business and hell - I'm not always cognitively aware enough to balnce my OWN checkbook.
4) If he has cognitive impairment and was in danger from someone you feel YOU needed legal intervention to protect you from, why would you spend time here asking questions and not be out there moving heaven and hell to protect the one you love?
5) Are you only seeking advise from those who will validate you, and give you warm fuzzies? If so, this expressly contradicts the marketing approach you use to sell yourself, but falls under the realm of your business and nunofmine. I guess I'm just an inquiring mind. I find myself fascinated with aspects of all this and beg to know.

< Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 6/21/2008 1:05:33 PM >

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 33

RE: Is It Time to Seek a Restraining Order? - 6/21/2008 1:23:52 PM

Irishknight

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If someone has sent you threatening emails, I would let the law handle it. If they are just hateful, I would go on with my life. If they turn threatening, contact the law.

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

Post #: 34

RE: Is It Time to Seek a Restraining Order? - 6/21/2008 1:28:43 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Alumbrado

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

that suprises you? I'm the one that thought a merkin was a pickle!!

I thought you were just distracted looking for all those Unitarians I lost...

Damn - has she got another screen name???!!!! How many does one person need.?

Took me a second too, but the ' i am a lawyer' and the 'i'm so old' other thread kind of added up in a pinkish sugary attention getting way.

(in reply to Alumbrado)

Post #: 35

RE: Is It Time to Seek a Restraining Order? - 6/21/2008 4:03:42 PM

DomAviator

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Joined: 4/22/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkieplum

My sister in law is an odd duck. She's a rabid Catholic; homophobe, bigot, control freak, liar, and several other unpleasant things. (My brother has really terrible taste in women.)

...

Then we had a terrible argument. i wanted to bring a date to a party i had been invited to at my brother's. My sister in law found out my date was African American and gay. It was one of those epic fights P/pl s'times have. Even now i could repeat most of what was said -- it left an indelible impression.

OK, time to play devils advocate here... Why would you provoke her? If you KNOW the woman is a racist and a homophobe WHY would you choose to bring a gay black man to her home? Is that fair to him? Would it be morally right if I invited a gay black man to the KKK picnic on Sylvan Beach?

Obviously, I am going to be branded a bigot and a homophobe etc... BUT it is her home and thus her rules. Its not like you have a romantic interest in this man, as you said - he's gay! Do you not have a friend you could have brought who would have caused a less explosive result?

If you want to be fair here - you were provoking her. We all have our prejudices, and they dont have to make sense. For example - there are absolutely positively no banannas whatsoever allowed on my boat! (Popeye can explain why Im sure!) I am serious, I dont want banannas in the cooler, I dont want Bananna Boat sunscreen, or Bananna Lip Balm, and frankly while I dont inspect for this I would rather my guests not wear fruit of the loom underwear! Call me a banannaphobe or a bananna racist or whatever you want but it is my boat, my rules and if you don't like it - don't come aboard. If I find out you brought banannas anyway, they are going overboard and if you dont like it you can follow them. (Banannas on land are fine, its a seagoing thing!)

Why in the hell would you even want to bring a gay black man as a "date" to the home of a racist homophobe? I mean what were you trying to do - set him up to be humiliated and ridiculed? Perhaps have a dramatic showdown with a "Borat Moment"? IMHO not only were you being a shitty sister-in-law to her, but you were being a shitty friend to your gay black "date". Ya know, there is a reason why I take BrittneyLee to the Rodeo and not Mensa Meetings....

(in reply to pinkieplum)

Post #: 36

RE: Is It Time to Seek a Restraining Order? - 6/22/2008 6:58:13 AM

MMistress

Posts: 80
Joined: 12/14/2006
From: N.E. Ohio
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomAviator

OK, time to play devils advocate here... Why would you provoke her? If you KNOW the woman is a racist and a homophobe WHY would you choose to bring a gay black man to her home? Is that fair to him? Would it be morally right if I invited a gay black man to the KKK picnic on Sylvan Beach?

Obviously, I am going to be branded a bigot and a homophobe etc... BUT it is her home and thus her rules. Its not like you have a romantic interest in this man, as you said - he's gay! Do you not have a friend you could have brought who would have caused a less explosive result?

If you want to be fair here - you were provoking her. We all have our prejudices, and they dont have to make sense. For example - there are absolutely positively no banannas whatsoever allowed on my boat! (Popeye can explain why Im sure!) I am serious, I dont want banannas in the cooler, I dont want Bananna Boat sunscreen, or Bananna Lip Balm, and frankly while I dont inspect for this I would rather my guests not wear fruit of the loom underwear! Call me a banannaphobe or a bananna racist or whatever you want but it is my boat, my rules and if you don't like it - don't come aboard. If I find out you brought banannas anyway, they are going overboard and if you dont like it you can follow them. (Banannas on land are fine, its a seagoing thing!)

Why in the hell would you even want to bring a gay black man as a "date" to the home of a racist homophobe? I mean what were you trying to do - set him up to be humiliated and ridiculed? Perhaps have a dramatic showdown with a "Borat Moment"? IMHO not only were you being a shitty sister-in-law to her, but you were being a shitty friend to your gay black "date". Ya know, there is a reason why I take BrittneyLee to the Rodeo and not Mensa Meetings....

I agree with you DA. My family is extremely closed minded and they make judgments about everything and everyone, in one way or another, we all do that. If I choose to visit someone, especially in their home, I try to respect their beliefs although I may not agree with them. After all, it is my choice to put myself in that position. If the OP has conflicting views and opinions with her sister-in-law, provocation will solve nothing and only escalate the situation.

< Message edited by MMistress -- 6/22/2008 7:13:42 AM >

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Post #: 37

RE: Is It Time to Seek a Restraining Order? - 6/22/2008 7:29:11 AM

SeeksOnlyOne

Posts: 2012
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gawd i agree 100% with da.......alert the media!

well said

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Post #: 38

RE: Is It Time to Seek a Restraining Order? - 6/22/2008 7:46:49 AM

persephonee

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Interfamilial drama never works out in the end. The number of asses i have to kiss in any given day just to continue to earn money or get along with folks im forced to deal with is astronomical...but i do it to get by. you will not win in this situation by doing anything other than conceding and biting your tongue. And i too noticed the name change. you have taken quite a bit of shit lately off the boards and yet continue to come back...so why not just continue with the original name....and i am not jumping on the bandwagon here...im simply asking what motivated you to change your name.

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Post #: 39

RE: Is It Time to Seek a Restraining Order? - 6/22/2008 8:04:27 AM

Rule

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I have read only the opening post.

This is my opinion: you are wrong and she is right.

She was the hostess and was fully entitled to refuse the person that you intended to bring along to the party.

She also is married to your brother. That makes her the number one to him. You are a meddlesome outsider. He is her responsibility, not yours.

I recommend that you move to another town. Get out of his and their life. And close down your banking account.

< Message edited by Rule -- 6/22/2008 8:06:15 AM >

(in reply to pinkieplum)

Post #: 40

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