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Unintelligent Mistresses? - 6/21/2008 7:39:01 AM   
subsubtle


Posts: 59
Joined: 6/7/2008
Status: offline 		While I continue my search for a Mistress for a relationship, I want to have a few pro sessions now and then to further explore my fetishes and gain experience.  I decided to search on craigslist under erotic services for "dominatrix" and I know a lot of people here hate craigslist but that is where I found the domme I had my first pro session with and it went very well so I decided to give it another shot.  Anyway, I found a somewhat appealing post and decided to email her to get some more info.  Her return email was obviously a copy/paste job but that is besides the point.  It sounded like it was either written by someone who isn't a native English speaker, which would be okay, or someone that isn't very intelligent at all.

Example:
"I accepte u drive me to your chosen location (your place) for the domination session  as long as u drive me back in lowell"

I can't decide if that is supposed to mean that she expects me to drive to a location or if she will accept doing an out-call to my house as long as I drive and drive her back to Lowell. 

Either way, stuff like this is a huge turn off for me.  Intelligence is a very attractive quality, especially in a Mistress, to me.  How can I expect this woman to get inside my head if she can't even construct a sentence?  So I guess my question to the subs is, are you turned on by intelligence and just as equally turned off by unintelligence?  I don't even want to reply to this woman after this, would you?

Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Unintelligent Mistresses? - 6/21/2008 7:46:01 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

So I guess my question to the subs is, are you turned on by intelligence and just as equally turned off by unintelligence?  I don't even want to reply to this woman after this, would you?


Well of course, turned on by intelligence and off by unintelligence...

but, was that the only line she wrote with mistakes? 

If not and I saw a pattern in a supposed Dom/Domme's style of writing that brings me to conclude some sort of illiteratcy, then no way in hell would I reply again either.

(in reply to subsubtle)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Unintelligent Mistresses? - 6/21/2008 7:53:12 AM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline 		Avoid Craigslist, try Eros instead, or MaxFisch.com.  You will probably have better luck there. :)

It sounds like this particular mistress might not have a car, and for the outcall, she wants you to pick her up and then drive her back. Also, she might be in a hurry, and replying to a ton of emails all in a row. OR, she might not remember doing the first session with you, and is banging out emails to all 20 people that emailed her in the last 5 minutes. ;)

If you liked the session with her, don't let it bother you too much. How she spells won't affect how you feel during the session. :P

That being said, I try to avoid cut/paste emails, and spelling errors.


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RE: Unintelligent Mistresses? - 6/21/2008 7:58:34 AM   
subsubtle


Posts: 59
Joined: 6/7/2008
Status: offline 		Thanks for those sites, Lynnxz.  I didn't even know about them.

Also, just to clarify, this domme is different than the one I had my first session with.  I did find my first on craigslist which is why I decided to try it again but the Mistress I'm talking about, I've never seen before.

(in reply to Lynnxz)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Unintelligent Mistresses? - 6/21/2008 8:01:51 AM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		The woman that wrote to you may be very intelligent.  The sentence construction is one of someone who speaks English as a second language.  I deal a lot with this since I travel internationally.  You might want to come out and ask her where she is originally from.  (Leave out the bit about you disapproving of her grammar.)

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RE: Unintelligent Mistresses? - 6/21/2008 8:02:00 AM   
Racquelle


Posts: 600
Joined: 4/21/2008
Status: offline 		Yes - my guess is non-native English speaker.  I myself am pretty tolerant of that too, but rather intolerant of true unintelligence.  It's not just you.  I wouldn't say that everyone on this board is intelligent, but by nature of the medium, it tends to attract people with a stronger than average interest in verbal communications.  Craigslist, on the other hand, is quite different.

I don't care to have a slack-jawed sub who stares off into space and never has a thought on their mind - but I would think being dominated by someone like that, would be even worse.  It isn't wrong to differentiate.  I am all for finding and spending time with someone you enjoy.

(in reply to came4U)
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RE: Unintelligent Mistresses? - 6/21/2008 8:07:36 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subsubtle

Either way, stuff like this is a huge turn off for me.  Intelligence is a very attractive quality, especially in a Mistress, to me.  How can I expect this woman to get inside my head if she can't even construct a sentence?  So I guess my question to the subs is, are you turned on by intelligence and just as equally turned off by unintelligence?  I don't even want to reply to this woman after this, would you?



As a Domme, I am also turned on by intelligence and off by unintelligence. I would think that if the original add you responded to was written far better than the reply you got, that she obviously spent a lot of time shining the ad, but the email shows more of her true abilities. I would not respond, someone who puts that little effort (native speaker or not, if she could do better in her ad she could have done better in her response) into an email. Especially if you are going to be paying her for her services, she isnt even making a minimal effort to secure your interest.
Chances are if she cant write a decent sentence in an email, she probably doesnt speak much better. If you need someone who can get in your head conversationally and not just beat you, then you need to move on.

DV


_____________________________

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(in reply to subsubtle)
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RE: Unintelligent Mistresses? - 6/21/2008 9:19:34 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Going beyond that, I know a lot of people use poorly written, spelling/grammatical errors as ways to separate the chaff from the wheat. Please keep in mind that if what you insist on is someone who has superb command of written English, that you cannot then expect them to also be math whiz kids.

Myself, one of the things I do for him is proof read his letters. He has multiple degrees but all in math and engineering, none in English. It doesn't make him unintelligent, just makes him someone who isn't good at writing. But because he's so good with making machines work well, he's the person to call when the garage door won't open. I can read the manual to him while he's on the ladder adjusting it but I couldn't fix it if we reversed the situation.

I also get the feeling English is not a language she's fluent in and you may want to reconsider not counting that fact in your decision to become her client. If her English is very poor, you may discover that although you told her your limits, she may not have understood what you said. I'd want a phone call to see if you can communicate freely before I make a decision.

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RE: Unintelligent Mistresses? - 6/21/2008 9:41:53 AM   
NeedingMore220


Posts: 615
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Going beyond that, I know a lot of people use poorly written, spelling/grammatical errors as ways to separate the chaff from the wheat. Please keep in mind that if what you insist on is someone who has superb command of written English, that you cannot then expect them to also be math whiz kids.



Geez, I'm not asking for a whiz kid in either math or grammar.  As long as they can put together a sentence with a capital at the beginning and some sort of punctuation at the end, I'm fairly happy.  The only mail that goes into the trash are the ones who use teenager-speak and can't be bothered to use full sentences.  I don't mind a misspelled word here or there, but c'mon - an overall tone of intelligence is highly attractive.  I also sense that the OP's emailer does not have English as her first language, from the cadence of her writing.

BUT give me someone who can communicate well in writing, shows intelligence, is successful (in various ways) and confident - yummy!  My favorite kind of man. 

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Unintelligent Mistresses? - 6/21/2008 10:00:46 AM   
TheGaggingWh0re


Posts: 222
Joined: 1/19/2006
Status: offline 		Ugh, if I came across a Domme who couldn't put together a sentence or who just rambled out of her ass, I actually lose my submissive quality and turn into a vanilla bitch. I hate it, and I hate it even more when Dommes try to tell me I'm submissive to them just because they say so. I choose who I want to be submissive to, and if I can outsmart someone with my limited knowledge, I just walk away.

That's why I'm glad I have my owner. He's super rad and is a walking encyclopedia. Not only that, he accepts zero bullshit, and when he is wrong...he fully admits it. But those times seem to be very, very rare and far between.

(in reply to NeedingMore220)
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RE: Unintelligent Mistresses? - 6/21/2008 10:16:06 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

Ugh, if I came across a Domme who couldn't put together a sentence or who just rambled out of her ass, I actually lose my submissive quality and turn into a vanilla bitch. I hate it, and I hate it even more when Dommes try to tell me I'm submissive to them just because they say so. I choose who I want to be submissive to, and if I can outsmart someone with my limited knowledge, I just walk away.

That's why I'm glad I have my owner. He's super rad and is a walking encyclopedia. Not only that, he accepts zero bullshit, and when he is wrong...he fully admits it. But those times seem to be very, very rare and far between.


haha

I agree with every word., besides, real men like this are hard to find.

(in reply to TheGaggingWh0re)
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RE: Unintelligent Mistresses? - 6/21/2008 10:25:10 AM   
LadyLynx


Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline 		OP, (imho.) picking a lady that has her own space to play would be better. preferably NOT in her home.  or.......(with this one.) maybe suggest that you 2 meet at a neutral place? also something that (in general) you should be careful of, is that you could get ripped off. Do not send her any $$ before hand. arrange a safe call. And go with your gut. If it says it's time to RED, do so.  Good Luck, and have fun!

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I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

(in reply to TheGaggingWh0re)
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RE: Unintelligent Mistresses? - 6/21/2008 10:29:10 AM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		I like correct spelling, punctuation and grammar. I love intelligence and an easy ability to talk - i am not the most chatty person in the world, so a dom who is comfortable leading conversations is a plus for me. All-in-all, my Sir is perfect for me. (grins) He is the one that can strike up a conversation with anyone. Its an ability that i greatly admire, but can't find it in me to emulate. Oh well - someone has to be the listener.

(in reply to came4U)
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RE: Unintelligent Mistresses? - 6/21/2008 11:04:19 AM   
GoddessNubiana


Posts: 1
Joined: 6/16/2008
Status: offline 		Anyone who cannot speak or write properly is a turn off especially since a Dom is supposed to be above all things, intelligent. It takes a high level of proper communication at least in my experience to set the mood. If you have to question it like this, you already have the answer you seek. Don't let your gut down.

(in reply to kiwisub12)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Unintelligent Mistresses? - 6/21/2008 4:09:21 PM   
hardbodysub


Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

Avoid Craigslist, try Eros instead, or MaxFisch.com.  You will probably have better luck there. :)



I agree - MaxFisch is tops for finding pro dommes. Don't waste your time on generic searches like Craigslist.

Oops, forgot about the question in the OP: poor writing is a turn-off for me as well, but I cut someone slack if English isn't their first language.

< Message edited by hardbodysub -- 6/21/2008 4:11:04 PM >

(in reply to Lynnxz)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Unintelligent Mistresses? - 6/21/2008 9:06:36 PM   
slavekal


Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		I have seen some profiles so poorly worded and spelled, I almost wondered if the lady had passed ninth grade.

(in reply to subsubtle)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Unintelligent Mistresses? - 6/21/2008 11:55:04 PM   
pinkieplum


Posts: 84
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subsubtle

While I continue my search for a Mistress for a relationship, I want to have a few pro sessions now and then to further explore my fetishes and gain experience.  I decided to search on craigslist under erotic services for "dominatrix" and I know a lot of people here hate craigslist but that is where I found the domme I had my first pro session with and it went very well so I decided to give it another shot.  Anyway, I found a somewhat appealing post and decided to email her to get some more info.  Her return email was obviously a copy/paste job but that is besides the point.  It sounded like it was either written by someone who isn't a native English speaker, which would be okay, or someone that isn't very intelligent at all.

Example:
"I accepte u drive me to your chosen location (your place) for the domination session  as long as u drive me back in lowell"

I can't decide if that is supposed to mean that she expects me to drive to a location or if she will accept doing an out-call to my house as long as I drive and drive her back to Lowell. 

Either way, stuff like this is a huge turn off for me.  Intelligence is a very attractive quality, especially in a Mistress, to me.  How can I expect this woman to get inside my head if she can't even construct a sentence?  So I guess my question to the subs is, are you turned on by intelligence and just as equally turned off by unintelligence?  I don't even want to reply to this woman after this, would you?




i find intelligence extremely appealing.  i can't think of A/anyone i've very been close to W/who wasn't bright.
 
i don't think intelligence is a single, integrated personality trait.  i know i myself am very bright in some areas, dim as all get out in others.
 
To answer your question, yes, i would reply to Her email. Very few emails i've ever received were so annoying i just deleted them, unanswered.
 
The Mistress who wrote to you used bad grammar, text speech, and may or may not be capable of writing well when motivated to do so.  i can't tell you how commonplace this has become, among P/pl of all ages.  So few bother to follow even basic grammatical rules or avoid the temptation to use text speech. 
 
i'd take the time to get to know Her before i decided wwhethe i found Her to be bright.  She may be a math or science whiz; or a musician; or an artist; or any of a number of things that require intelligence.  Or, She may really be dumb -- but kind and honest and loving.
 
pinkieplum

(in reply to subsubtle)
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RE: Unintelligent Mistresses? - 6/22/2008 3:27:08 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		I'm actually more disturbed that she's willing to be taken by a total stranger to a strange place from her home (assuming), all at the client's whim. That just doesn't "feel right" to me.

Master Fire


_____________________________

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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Unintelligent Mistresses? - 6/22/2008 6:51:28 AM   
subsubtle


Posts: 59
Joined: 6/7/2008
Status: offline 		Thanks for all the advice everyone.  A lot of you brought up some great points that I didn't even think of.  I don't think I will contact this domme again because there are a few on maxfisch that i'm definitely interested in.  If nothing works out with them I can always go back to the first domme I had a session with.  Thanks a lot everybody.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Unintelligent Mistresses? - 6/22/2008 6:57:37 AM   
subsubtle


Posts: 59
Joined: 6/7/2008
Status: offline 		Here is the rest of the email, incase anyone is interested...  

Chose what type of domination session intereste u besides what i usually do:  I recieve:  FULL BODY WORSHIP/ ORAL & TONGUE CONTACT *  SMOOTHERING * MASSAGE * DOMESTIC & GROOMING SERVITUDE * FOOT WORSHIP * NYLONS , PANTIES, SHOES WHORSHIP ETC * I GIVE: STRAPON* DILDO TRAINING * HAND JOB *FOOT JOB* HUMILIATION * SPANKING * CBT * MILD RESTRAINTS *GOLDEN SHOWERS *  TRAMPLING ETC   MY INFO
  MY AVAILABILITY FOR MEETINGS: EVERY DAY BETWEEN 10 AM TILL 10 PM NEWEST MEETING LOCATION : [OMITTED] (i hope u consider it a safe and discrete meeting place as i want it to be safe and discrete also)  CHECK DRIVING DIRECTIONS DIRECTIONS WITH : www.mapquest.com   SESSION LOCATION: YOUR PLACE OR DISCRETE MOTELS IN TEWKSBURY/MASS  2 MILES AWAY FROM MEETING PLACE ($75 or $85 a room) I accepte u drive me to your chosen location (your place) for the domination session  as long as u drive me back in lowell  MY TRIBUTE (RATE OR CHARGE): $120 / HOUR PH# [OMITTED]  - i use it to confirm same day meeting appoinment with a text message on your cellular, faster than by email (as i only check my emails 3 times per day- no more).  PS: I'll describe my outfits for u to recognize me easy at the meeting location.  Call me (i advice u to get a $15 tracfone or go phone from radioshack , add minuts using a prepaid phone card from cvs and most of all hide the phone / phone number of your collegs/familly  - as i do not want  any complications/troubles for u and me) when u arrive at the meeting location and directe me to your car as u see me sitting on a bench in front of auditorium's building. CONSIDERE FAMILLY/JOB EMERGENCIES WHEN U SET UP MEETING




Something just doesn't sit right about all this

(in reply to subsubtle)
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