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stella41b -> Bisexual, but only submissive to one gender? (6/21/2008 4:40:05 PM)
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I realise that for some people BDSM, D/s doesn't go together with sex, but for an awful lot of people it does.
I identify myself as a lesbian despite the fact that I'm bi curious, mainly because at this time in my life sex isn't a major priority but I'm curious here and want to put it out on the board and ask others who are bisexual or bi-curious and for which sex and BDSM go together for their opinions. Speaking with other female subs, both genetic and transgendered who claim to be bi or bi-curious I find there's a tendency for the opposite, i.e. they prefer to be dominated by a male Dom.
Then I try to examine my reasons. I've had encounters with men in the past, have even tried to submit to a male Dom but I just 'don't' feel it, I can connect with men on a friendship level, but no further. Part of me is telling myself that I should be over this gender stereotype perspective, but I guess part of it is down to my own issues too. I don't subscribe to female supremacy except when it pertains to my relationship with a Domme and it's something on the basis of my own 'flawed femininity', but I don't put too much stock in this, I just see it as a different dynamic submitting to a Domme than a male Dom. Sometimes I have to fight myself having a view that men are the weaker sex, because I see that weakness lies in the person and not the gender, but it's this sexual dominance element which sometimes leads me to assume that men are ruled by their penises. Maybe this is the answer, the sexual dominance aspect, for it confronts my own issues with sex, and for me submitting to a Domme relies more on an emotional connection which somehow poses less of a confrontation and basically ticks the right boxes.
You see in the online world you can easily be forgiven for assuming that Dommes are dominant but Doms are sexual predators, but I know this isn't true as I have come across many male Doms who have brought their skills down to a fine art, and I would assume that many of them can be found here on these boards. Not that I'm planning to switch sides like, but these are my observations. I'm just curious, this is part of my learning curve.
So if you're bi or bi curious, irrespective of whether you're male or female, do you have a preferred gender or will only submit to one gender? Why? I'm also curious from the Dominant perspective too.
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