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MmeGigs -> RE: Somebody please tell me (6/22/2008 2:13:12 AM)
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I went out and looked at a dozen femdom profiles. I looked at the first twelve I saw that had pics - I fgured that would provide a good sample. It really wasn't very difficult to tell which were likely to ask for "tribute". One was a pro and made no bones about it. Two were looking for men (plural) and their profiles spoke of the excitingly evil things they would and wouldn't do in a style that was remeniscent of bad porn. I suspect that these girls would ask for money or gifts. One was looking for play with no commitment which is a bit of a red flag, but she was rather specific about some non-sex, non-kink stuff, so she could go either way.
Seven of the femdoms didn't have a lot to say that was excitingly evil. While the amount of detail they provided varied a great deal, all of them were pretty explicit about what they were looking for in a relationship but talked about kinky play and sex in general terms if at all. Most of them described their style of domination and what they expected from a relationship, again in varying amounts of detail and with little attempt at tittillation. I'd guess that few of these women ask for money or gifts.
Eight of the twelve femdoms' profiles contained a reference to one or more things they didn't want to see any more of - wannafucks, cheating men, boilerplate, etc. One profile was almost completely devoted to bitching about the emails she doesn't want to see any more of. I know that a lot of guys out there find that rather bitchy and a bit of a turn-off, but if these ladies' CM inboxes are anything like mine, maybe one in ten of the emails they receive is worth answering. Most of them are from fellows looking for the services of prodom without the fees, which I will admit colors my attitude about the fellows who complain about being asked for money.
If you want better results, think about what it is you're looking for (long term relationship, friends with benefits, casual play with a stranger?) and about the kind of profiles you're responding to. If a guy is looking for a long term or friends with benefits relationship with a dominant woman, he'll do better if he avoids the porny sounding profiles and looks for someone more down to earth whose criteria are a reasonable fit.
If a guy wants casual kinky play with anyDomme who's willing and won't charge him, he's got to understand that he's looking for a pretty rare commodity and it will take a lot of persistence to wade through the come-and-get-me profiles to find her since most of these probably are come-and-get-me-and-bring-cash. There are quite a few femdoms and femtops who play casually for fun, not for money, but they don't play with strangers - they play with people they know and like.
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