RE: Please, tell me I'm not crazy for not believing her. (Full Version)

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xxblushesxx -> RE: Please, tell me I'm not crazy for not believing her. (6/23/2008 1:37:45 PM)

SBFY; I thought the same thing, but I figured I'd be accused of being one of those paranoid females...



Termyn8or -> RE: Please, tell me I'm not crazy for not believing her. (6/23/2008 1:46:49 PM)

Couple of points about parole and the "mob". There is no mob, but there are people who, well deal in things the government doesn't quite approve of. You can negotiate with them if you know what you are doing. The strongarm tactics of the Al Capone days are over. It happens very very rarely these days and I would rather deal with them than the government.

Now parole is a different thing. A parole officer does not go out on the street and arrest people, you walk in the building. Any and all deals that you negotiate remotely are out the wondow and they will, no matter what they seem to agree to, will not hold to the agreement once you walk in the door. Only the judge can release you. If you went on the lam, you violated and there will be a hearing for that.

There are tens of thousands of unserved felony warrants in any major city, they will rarely come and get you. You have more to worry about if you used a bondsman, they WILL come after you. People jump paper all the time, and even more tell their POs to fuck off. Refuse to pay the fine, things like that. Once you learn the system, you can actually negotiate, but it is all for naught. When you walk in the door expect handcuffs and to go to a holding cell immediately. Then you will see the judge. Most likely all your phone conversations are null and void. They will do everything they can to get you to walk in the door. Even if you have recordings of the conversations with the PO, it doesn't mean a thing, the PO does not make the decision, the judge does.

So she may think she is negotiating, but all they are doing is trying to get her to walk in the door. If I were the OP I would not tell her this, let her think she is walking a cake walk and get slammed. After all, she did something.

These new scams, coming to light to the previous jurisdiction come in handy in keeping someone locked up. They will keep her until her sentence is maxed out and then send her for trial elswhere if charges are filed. If her sentence is lengthy in the old jurisdiction, they will save the evidence and any depositions by witnesses, whatever else and when she gets out, back into the cuffs, possibly for a plane trip. It depends on the states involved and how they handle their reciprocity laws and extradition policies. In some cases the plane trip is automatic, in other cases the jurisdiction where the new charges exist get an invite to show up on her release date. They have to bring at least one local officer but they oblige, that is easy compared to bringing a squad car from another state. So you walk out the prison gate and there are deputies waiting for you, it would not be the first time.

But the thing is, once you walk in that door, you never know when you are getting out, nor can you be sure if you can even be bailed out.

Quite a few states have an offender database, if you know the full name you might be able to find out what the original charge was. How many guesses do I get ?

I just wanted to clear that up. They will not come get her most likely, but if she walks in the door it is likely that anytime she is not in a cage she will be wearing some chains for some time, depending on the original sentence.

Sit back and smile, let her "negotiate", even offer her a ride I say. Then she will be gone for awhile.

And last but not least, dealing with what you might call the mob is alot easier than dealing with the government. They have something to sell and have learned that killing your customers is bad for business. All the government does is take. You are a subject, not a customer. So who would you rather deal with ?

T



kiwisub12 -> RE: Please, tell me I'm not crazy for not believing her. (6/23/2008 2:04:17 PM)

I think she probably does have a $22-an-hour job from home - computor scamming!!!!   I wouldn't trust this woman as far as i could throw her, and i would have to have grave thoughts about my bf and his friend too.
Of course, they may think they are in so deep, that it is easier to believe her and hope it will magically all be better.
good luck with this one.



pinkieplum -> RE: Please, tell me I'm not crazy for not believing her. (6/23/2008 2:16:23 PM)

hissweetbella, my first reaction is to wonder how all this is affecting you.
 
Taking everything you said in your Op as a given, it appears your Dom was the victim of a crime and a tort.  It's called 'fraud by false pretenses', though other charges might lie as well.
 
What disturbs me is that you aren't talking about an event -- but a pattern of conduct that persisted for two years.
 
Once presented with inescapable truth about the situation, your Dom continued a relationship with her and has since given her additional money.
 
There are 'victims' and then there are 'volunteers'.  Your Dom is a volunteer, IMO. 
 
Quite apart from how this might affect you financially, i'd be inclined to take a long look at a my Dom under these circumstances. 
 
i think i'd probably decide to return my collar.
 
Whatever you choose to do, please give some thought to your own well-being.
 
i wish you the best.
 
pinkieplum



VBPiercedGal -> RE: Please, tell me I'm not crazy for not believing her. (6/23/2008 2:31:49 PM)

Unfortunately, people realize they've been duped and are too embarassed to do anything about it. Sounds like the situation here. After all, she's been milking him for a couple of years now and he hasn't put his foot down to demand what's rightfully his. He could always try to get a lawyer involved, but if she's good at being shady (sounds like she is), he will never see a dime of his money again.

Thing is, lots of otherwise very smart people wind up being duped just like him. He has nothing to be embarassed about unless he let's it keep happening. I gaurantee he already knows he's been had.



tsatske -> RE: Please, tell me I'm not crazy for not believing her. (6/23/2008 8:06:25 PM)

quote:

tsatske,  what if going back to being friendly with this woman comprimises her morals? (it would mine.)


That would be the reason for negotating well as to what type of dynamic you want, and with whom, i guess. It would be against my morals to be less than friendly and welcoming to someone that my Master clearly cared for. I would have to be asking myself what he saw that i was missing, and why. And reminding myself that, if He does have wounded sparrow syndrome, well, that is probably one of the reasons i fell in love with Him in the first place.

You should not go against your morals. You should work out with your partner how to allow both of you to be faithful to yurselves and each others' value systems.



daddysliloneds -> RE: Please, tell me I'm not crazy for not believing her. (6/23/2008 8:16:03 PM)

fools and their money, i swear!

i just want to know what this chick has that's sooooooooooo wonderful that all these men will drop down every last cent they have, and then some, to keep her living so high on the hog and to defend her to the end?!



Missokyst -> RE: Please, tell me I'm not crazy for not believing her. (6/23/2008 9:36:15 PM)

Your best bet is to cut off all contact with her and let him suffer the consequences of his gullible nature.  There is a sucker born every minute and she found 2 (and there probably are more), who are willing to suspend disbelief.
He may be your dominant, but he doesnt seem to have a lot of people sense.
Use yours and keep a wide berth from that lady.
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: hissweetbella


I just hate to see him get in trouble for harboring a fugitive.  He's a good guy and other than this woman, he works hard, pays his bills, takes care of his own business and doesn't deserve any trouble.  Plus, he truly believes that she is in contact with the parole people and is negotiating a resolution.



MasterKalif -> RE: Please, tell me I'm not crazy for not believing her. (6/23/2008 10:02:10 PM)

I have to agree very closely to what slaveboyforyou stated earlier....your Dom must be involved with her in some romantic form, because as a man I would never ever pay for a woman who is my friend's and even for friends I know who are not good at paying me back 5 bucks, I would not lend again...I am not obliged to give money to anyone for any reason...I hate to say it, but seems like your Dom is lacking in Dominance in that he is unable to put his foot down, and is supporting a woman, much as a male submissive would a Domme, with little to show for it. I am trying to think if maybe they were friends years ago in high school, etc, but even then enough is enough. I think you are a good submissive in helping your Dom, in trying to make him understand, although unfortunately he is too dumb to see what is going on here...its clearer than water.

I would frankly have a chat with him, seriously withinyour boundaries and explain how things are...and if he doesn't see it, then you need to move on. He is jepardizing himself and in extension you with his irresponsability.



chickpea -> RE: Please, tell me I'm not crazy for not believing her. (6/23/2008 10:16:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: hissweetbella

Now, I believe she is at it all again.  She claims to have a job, data entry working from home, making $22 an hour and with full medical/dental/vision/life insurance benefits, paid holidays... the works... AND, get this, according to her, the employer happens to be a former convict himself and is supposed to be helping her work with the parole board to get out of her parole violation altogether. 

Anyway, my Dom believes her and loaned her a couple of thousand dollars to get out of a tight spot with the understanding that she would pay him back with her next paycheck.  That was two months ago.  She claimed first to have sent the check.  Next was she had done a wire transfer to his account and his bank must have screwed it up.  After that was FedEx lost the check she had sent THREE TIMES.  Now, she had to close her bank account (which was in her sister's name) because her sister was being audited by the IRS and can't get her money from the bank because they won't put that amount on a cashier's check or transfer it to another account for her.

Is it just me or does this stink to high heaven of a SCAM?????  I tell you, I have heard these two men defend her and tell all of us who say she is lying that we are just mean until I am starting to question if I really am!  For a while I was being the friendly ear for this woman that my Dom wanted me to be, but I just can't listen to it anymore.  If I wanted to watch science fiction, I would turn on the TV!

What do you think?  Is her story plausible and am I being too jaded and unbelieving?  I just don't understand what this woman has that makes these men (and others) believe everything she comes up with and not check out anything at all even kowing her history of lying. 

Thank you for reading and responding.  I just needed to get out the frustration of watching someone I care about be fooled like this.


I see it all the time...especially here in L.A.  Gals get used to the easy life, getting it the right or wrong way....as long as its easy.  The girls MASTER THE ART OF MANIPULATION... like please save me, I'm helpless and I tried sooooo hard to do this and that but i BLAME CIRCUMSTANCES for my situation and hhhhhhheeelp me.  What guy can resist becoming a hero and savior?  That's every guys dream, to be the savior, plus every girls dream to be taken care of.  tsk tsk

Then they keep the promise of putting effort and doing better to suck the savior and string him along in their loafing game.  They constantly elaborate the story with either new developements/stories of how their *crisis* (LMFAO) is coming along OR how they are trying all these new and different things to get themselves out of the situation (AGAIN LMFAO) when in reality they LOVE their loafing situation and would NEVER EVER EVER think of permanently leaving it....(they would first rather leave the sucker helping them onto another sucker, before they ever leave their easy life) to *gasp* God forbid WORK HARD for the good life..... this appearance of putting effort to change is merely a front to keep their loafing-off-of-someone scheme going for a longer period of time. 

Those guys probably really like her so let her sucker them.  Oh well.  They're enablers of her lifestyle, what can I say? :-)





L8bloomer -> RE: Please, tell me I'm not crazy for not believing her. (6/24/2008 1:48:26 AM)

Hi hissweetbella,

You said you would turn her in but that you didn't want to get her b/f in trouble. So here is a suggestion. It's a nasty one though. Call the b/f and tell him that he has until the end of the day (or some other VERY short time span) to turn her in and that if he doesn't you will. You can kind of take the edge off of it by saying that if she really is on the up and up, nothing will happen. But if she's been lying about her situation with the parole board, etc. then he is going to be in trouble too if you end up being the one to report it. Yeah, it's blackmail, but it's only to try and save his ass.

Good luck!

(Editing to correct a spelling error.)



JulieorSarah -> RE: Please, tell me I'm not crazy for not believing her. (6/24/2008 2:44:18 AM)

I've only read the first page of this thread ... but i keep thinking of that movice 'Catch me if you can' with Di Caprio and Tom Hanks ...

This female is Di Caprio ... and she obviously just has a way with men ... You can't control anything here but what you do.  Firstly protect yourself, make sure no-one has access to your funds, and you are very careful about the debt you acquire.  Make sure it's your own.
one of the things this female Di Caprio can do is de-sensitise the two fellows involved as to what is right and wrong. Until this 'association' ends with this female it can only get worse ... before it gets better ... can you wait that long?  Is the relationship with Him regardless of how good he is worth the hassle.

That you've severed from this female ... may not be such a good thing.  There's a saying, keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
While her behaviour threatens - negatively influences your home - she or at least her behaviour (lying, cheating etc) is your enemy.

Wouldn't want to be in your shoes ... there's no easy out here without tears and heartache.



Silkendream -> RE: Please, tell me I'm not crazy for not believing her. (6/24/2008 5:02:49 AM)

 
Okay, first of all, two points about the 'white knight/dom thingy' :
 
1) helping a woman can make a man feel very powerful and satisfy a deep craving to be able to put things right


and 2) if she's gone, will he move on to 'helping' someone else?


It depends how much you care for your Dom, but if you do love him and want to help him, it might be a nice idea to help him work out exactly why he was such an easy mark – asking leading questions, not in an angry way, but non-judgementally, just because you're interested and concerned about him, such as 'why did you support her?' (actually, i'd love to know the answer to that one myself!) and listen to him talking about her and his feelings around the whole situation.  This is a real achilles heel for him, and has impacted on his life big time – if it was happening to a sub i would expect her dom/Master to help her through it, so why not help your dom out this way?


I do agree with everything everyone else has said, except one thing – IMO, i wouldnt go near her, for fear of getting sucked into her nightmare vortex of chaos, but then thats me. I have met a few people like her, and i have found them so toxic, they tend to smear their poison on everyone they meet, wrapping their yellow waxy arms around them and dragging them down to their twilight criminal world - best to stay away altogether simply to protect yourself – cause when shes arrested – guess who shes going to blame for 'making her do it'? I'll give you a clue – not herself!!

Good luck, and please let us know what happens - i'm hooked!












Treasure3 -> RE: Please, tell me I'm not crazy for not believing her. (6/24/2008 7:56:19 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Silkendream


Okay, first of all, two points about the 'white knight/dom thingy' :
 
1) helping a woman can make a man feel very powerful and satisfy a deep craving to be able to put things right


and 2) if she's gone, will he move on to 'helping' someone else?


It depends how much you care for your Dom, but if you do love him and want to help him, it might be a nice idea to help him work out exactly why he was such an easy mark – asking leading questions, not in an angry way, but non-judgementally, just because you're interested and concerned about him, such as 'why did you support her?' (actually, i'd love to know the answer to that one myself!) and listen to him talking about her and his feelings around the whole situation.  This is a real achilles heel for him, and has impacted on his life big time – if it was happening to a sub i would expect her dom/Master to help her through it, so why not help your dom out this way?


I do agree with everything everyone else has said, except one thing – IMO, i wouldnt go near her, for fear of getting sucked into her nightmare vortex of chaos, but then thats me. I have met a few people like her, and i have found them so toxic, they tend to smear their poison on everyone they meet, wrapping their yellow waxy arms around them and dragging them down to their twilight criminal world - best to stay away altogether simply to protect yourself – cause when shes arrested – guess who shes going to blame for 'making her do it'? I'll give you a clue – not herself!!

Good luck, and please let us know what happens - i'm hooked!



Yes, he has said he has a tendency to rescue people, and she isn't the first or only one.  Right now, he has another "friend" living in his house (male this time, thank goodness) who he is supporting because this man spends his entire SS check on booze.  He claims to hate "having" to keep providing for this person, and keeps saying he is going to take the steps to legally evict him (as he's been there almost 2 years now), but it is all talk and no action.

On some level, I think he needs to feel needed this way, but I can't for the life of me understand why.  White knight syndrome only goes so far, doesn't it?  This seems to be something more.

It is really frustrating for me to continue to watch this, and I have pulled away a lot in the last few months because of it.  Helping people is an admirable trait, but only when they really need it, not when they are continually using and manipulating you... at least in my opinion.  Besides, I get tired of hearing him complain over and over about how much these two people cost him. 

On one level, I think I get the raw end of the deal as he often feels the need to watch his "budget" when I visit because he has just spent so much on one of them.  We don't go and do as many things as we did before he took on this second "project" as he calls the man. 

I knew I was reading the situation correctly.  I just had moments when I started wondering if, maybe, possibly, I was being too critical, as he is so good at believing in them.  I guess I needed to talk about this, too, as it has been kind of a strain, especially lately, since I chose not to listen to this woman's stories any longer.  I've been questioning the entire relationship.  He has spoken often of making a life together with me and mine, and I just don't think I want this kind of thing going on in any relationship I am in.  I need to feel comfortable with my man's judgement, and though I realize we can all make mistakes, it can't continue to happen over and over without affecting how I feel about the man as a whole.





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