RE: A potential domme wants me to be more "gentlemen like"

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RE: A potential domme wants me to be more "gentlem... - 6/24/2008 5:25:02 AM

TNstepsout

Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
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Google it. There are some great links out there. Like this one.

http://www.wikihow.com/Behave-Like-a-Contemporary-Gentleman

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RE: A potential domme wants me to be more "gentlem... - 6/24/2008 6:24:35 AM

undergroundsea

Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mantis65
It maybe exiting to be dominated by an “exotic dancer” they have may have some frustrations to take out on a sub male? The tease and denial could be awesome!

I have friends who are exotic dancers and my prior post does not make a generalization or reflect negativly on them. My comment was about this specific woman and what I intended to highlight was the argument she used to justify her expectations--that it was gentlemanly behavior.

Cheers,

Sea

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RE: A potential domme wants me to be more "gentlem... - 6/24/2008 8:09:16 AM

pixelslave

Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ThundersCry

My father was....

Apples don`t fall far from the tree...

From growing up next to an apple orchard, I also recall that any apple tree can drop an apple that's rotten.

Sorry, I just couldn't resist!

- pixel

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Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!

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RE: A potential domme wants me to be more "gentlem... - 6/24/2008 8:23:42 AM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

As several have said -- ask her, BUT

There are several books by a man named John Bridges on how to be a gentleman. They are short reads and often fairly candid. I highly recommend them, I've given them to several bois in my life over the years.

Yes, its great to have the basics at a young age (which by the way can be taught by Mom too) but you can acquire new skills as an adult as well.

good luck

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

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RE: A potential domme wants me to be more "gentlem... - 6/24/2008 8:32:46 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
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1. Say "please" and "thank you" to the waiters and waitresses -- and everyone else.
2. Don't talk about anything related to sex until she brings up the topic first.
3. Show up on time.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

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RE: A potential domme wants me to be more "gentlem... - 6/24/2008 1:49:25 PM

MamaDomme1

Posts: 377
Joined: 1/12/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

1. Say "please" and "thank you" to the waiters and waitresses -- and everyone else.
2. Don't talk about anything related to sex until she brings up the topic first.
3. Show up on time.

Those are fabulous starting points! Common curtesy goes a long way in my book.

And as earlier pointed out-- Google can be your best friend.

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RE: A potential domme wants me to be more "gentlem... - 6/24/2008 7:36:26 PM

SnowRanger

Posts: 503
Joined: 5/25/2008
From: Sinsinnati
Status: offline

Hi mysteryshopper,

Gentleman is one of those words... hard to define; but, it's easy for people to describe what it means to them. My own problem is this: My parents taught me what they expected as gentlemanly conduct; however, in the ensuing years I was critisized for being patronizing and/or chauvanistic. Now, being a gentleman is the desirable trait that it always should have been. I have a lot to learn and relearn.
I have always held the door for anyone with an arm load. I always give up my seat to anyone who appears to need it more than me (now days that's saying something). I stand when I meet anyone, male or female. I try to be courteous and kind to everybody, especially waiters and waitress. Other than that.... I have much to relearn.

I checked out two of the links that have been provided. One had 14 steps, 9 tips, 5 don't and a link some "rich sugar daddy" site. The other one had fine print so small that my bad eye wandered off to Happy Camp California! ;-)

I say: put her needs and feelings ahead of yours; be respectful in her presence; and, unless otherwise directed, help her with everything from car doors to coats to holding her purse if asked.

Fraternally,
Mike
SnowRanger

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RE: A potential domme wants me to be more "gentlem... - 6/24/2008 8:39:09 PM

MistressDolly

Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SnowRanger

Hi mysteryshopper,

Gentleman is one of those words... hard to define; but, it's easy for people to describe what it means to them. My own problem is this: My parents taught me what they expected as gentlemanly conduct; however, in the ensuing years I was critisized for being patronizing and/or chauvanistic. Now, being a gentleman is the desirable trait that it always should have been. I have a lot to learn and relearn.
I have always held the door for anyone with an arm load. I always give up my seat to anyone who appears to need it more than me (now days that's saying something). I stand when I meet anyone, male or female. I try to be courteous and kind to everybody, especially waiters and waitress. Other than that.... I have much to relearn.

I say: put her needs and feelings ahead of yours; be respectful in her presence; and, unless otherwise directed, help her with everything from car doors to coats to holding her purse if asked.

Fraternally,
Mike
SnowRanger

:)

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m i s t r e s s d o l l y . c o m

m y s p a c e

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RE: A potential domme wants me to be more "gentlem... - 6/24/2008 10:53:53 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear mysteryshopper, Ladies and Gentlemen;

With all due respect, if a Dominant seems to be brushing you off--perhaps you should seek someone who will communicate what exactly they wish from you and or how you need to modify your behavior and or adjust your attitude.

To your question as to what a gentleman may behave like; it will be subjected once again to individualized tastes and there are as many tastes as there are Dominants.

That said, my personal preferences would be those of extreme formality compared to the easy going natural side of American Society of late. I would wish the military gentleman, polite gentleman, no profanity and or bad habits, e.g. drinking or smoking; considerate to me and others and treat others, to include me with dignity and respect; not just a 'means' to fulfill some fetish, fantasy and or sexual 'giggles and grins.'

Just some thoughts.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

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RE: A potential domme wants me to be more "gentlem... - 6/25/2008 11:37:37 AM

tsatske

Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline

I do understand, however, that this question can be differant than other 'expectations', to some people. I personally believe that the essence of subs is to be trainable, P(if they feel the connection and they wish to be), so i would prefer to be with someone open to training on what they want.
However, to some people, whatever it is that they think of as 'gentemanly' is, in their opinion, intrinsic to who and what that person is - their core values, their worth, the most basic self. I am thinking of my daughter, at 18 or 19, who worked at a factory. Now, my daughter prefered to date younger men, so it is a good thing she was a virgin at that age she'd of wound up in prison <joke>. She told me that an older man gave her a carpool home regularly, and she liked him as a friend, but he kept asking her out, so she just told him that she found him to old.

But she told me - 'He is not that much too old. I would go out with him, but - when he drops me off at home, he leaves before i even get in the door. and i could never go out with someone who would do that. And if i tell him thats why i won't go out with him, he will quit doing it - but he will still be the same person, a person who would do that.' (remebering, my daughter was no Domme).

I am only saying - perhaps she prefers that the change be more basic, instead of just following directions, not just about actions, but finding those actions for yourself and instilling the values that go with them.

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~Dr. Seuss quote

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RE: A potential domme wants me to be more "gentlem... - 6/25/2008 2:25:37 PM

pixelslave

Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SnowRanger

I checked out two of the links that have been provided. One had 14 steps, 9 tips, 5 don't and a link some "rich sugar daddy" site. The other one had fine print so small that my bad eye wandered off to Happy Camp California! ;-)

I had a problem with some of the "tips" on the WikiHow site. Button-down and polo shirts just aren't at the top of my list of personal preferences. IMO, style is a matter of personal taste and not part of what defines a gentleman.

One also doesn't have to be wealthy or need an expensive wardrobe to still behave as a gentleman. A man at times has to make due with what's available at the moment; often sacrificing what he'd like to have for himself, giving it to those he cares about the most or otherwise fulfilling other obligations instead.

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RE: A potential domme wants me to be more "gentlem... - 6/25/2008 3:07:50 PM

Eldritchdancer

Posts: 101
Joined: 12/26/2006
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Gentlemanly = Don't be a fuckstick.

Think back to when your mom said things like, "Behave yourself" or wanted you to use your Sunday Manners.
Please, Thank You, Yes ma'am/sir, No ma'am/sir, opening doors, gesturing the lady ahead of you thru openings/doors with the words, "Ladies first", mild/minor compliments on clothing or make-up, tell her she is beautiful/lovely/etc. w/o her asking......

Most of us learned this from our mothers/sisters when we were younger. You just have to remember what it was they wanted.

And, if all else fails, emulate the 'leading men' from the early Black and White movies, where the men were suave and women swooned at their feet.

Master Darkmoon

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RE: A potential domme wants me to be more "gentlem... - 6/26/2008 7:36:32 AM

slavekal

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
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How about asking her to be specific. Too many people have a tendency to label things without explaining what they mean by those labels.

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RE: A potential domme wants me to be more "gentlem... - 6/26/2008 8:47:11 PM

SurrenderForMe

Posts: 229
Joined: 3/11/2005
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Good basic manners, which have been covered in previous responses and honor.

Honorable behavior is standing up for your partner. (I consider this a partnership) I prefer strong subs or slaves, not cowards or the weak. Everyone has their weak moments and in our kind of relationship, I lead and my partner follows, but that doesn't mean I don't have bad days. It also means that we stand up for each other, support each other and work toward a common goal.

I had a partner who was not only a gentleman, but a gentle man.

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