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What are you Wiling to Give a Dom/me? - 6/23/2008 3:18:42 AM

pinkieplum

Posts: 84
Status: offline

i'm not referring to submission, slavery, service, etc.

My question is more about the lengths -- if any -- to which you would go to provide for your Dom/me when Their want/need will reduce your personal power.

Would you be willing to provide financial support for your Dom? If you are wealthy, would you consider accepting a collar from a middle class or lower class Dom? Would you pay more than 'your share' of the expenses so He could enjoy the standard of living you're used to?

Would you be willing to protect your Dom? Would you step in if He was assaulted? Harrassed? Arrested? Sued? Injured?
Disabled?

Do you feel that support, protection, or qualified advice is within your repetorie of your 'personal power'?

If so do, do you feel you would pledge to furnish such things to your Dom by accepting His collar?

Are there limits on the amount or degree to which you'd be willing to provide support, protection or advice to your Dom?

If you have been collared, does your Dom accept support, protection or advice from you?

If you are uncollared, would such willingness by a Dom be a want/need you'd seek -- or avoid -- in a Dom?

pinkieplum

< Message edited by pinkieplum -- 6/23/2008 3:20:31 AM >

Post #: 1

RE: What are you Wiling to Give a Dom/me? - 6/23/2008 3:26:38 AM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline

quote:

Would you be willing to provide financial support for your Dom? If you are wealthy, would you consider accepting a collar from a middle class or lower class Dom? Would you pay more than 'your share' of the expenses so He could enjoy the standard of living you're used to?

no, why would I support a grown man?

quote:

Would you be willing to protect your Dom? Would you step in if He was assaulted? Harrassed? Arrested? Sued? Injured?
Disabled?

maybe, I doubt it.

quote:

Do you feel that support, protection, or qualified advice is within your repetorie of your 'personal power'?

No, mothering is not what I want to do for a man.

(in reply to pinkieplum)

Post #: 2

RE: What are you Wiling to Give a Dom/me? - 6/23/2008 3:53:37 AM

daddysliloneds

Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline

instead of asking what i'm willing to give a dom, i'll turn it around to say: those who i love, i'm willing to die for, and leave it at that.

(in reply to came4U)

Post #: 3

RE: What are you Wiling to Give a Dom/me? - 6/23/2008 4:40:47 AM

katie978

Posts: 352
Joined: 7/21/2007
Status: offline

   To be honest, I'm not sure I agree that any of those are reducing one's personal power. As a subbie, I feel empowered through serving: it's what I like to do and I want to do it well.

I guess by power, you might be referring to more material measures of a man: bank account, social standing, etc.

    To be honest, I don't think of things in those terms, especially in a relationship. My bank balance is just a number, my social status or standing. These things are so far down the list of what's important to me that they barely register. If my dom was suddenly broke and needed cash, I would loan without a second thought (since I know he's not the deadbeat type) and never regret it. When I'm sharing my life with someone -any length of my life, whether it's a few months or longer- I don't consider my personal power at all.

   Would I go into debt so my dom could go to the casino and buy lottery tickets, hookers, and cocaine? Probably not. Would I share all my stuff with him under other circumstances? Indubitably.

_____________________________

"That's the plan. Rule the world. You and me. Anyday ::wink::"

(in reply to pinkieplum)

Post #: 4

RE: What are you Wiling to Give a Dom/me? - 6/23/2008 5:13:48 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

From experience there are women who would do that.

(in reply to katie978)

Post #: 5

RE: What are you Wiling to Give a Dom/me? - 6/23/2008 5:38:59 AM

DominantJenny

Posts: 645
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkieplum

i'm not referring to submission, slavery, service, etc.

My question is more about the lengths -- if any -- to which you would go to provide for your Dom/me when Their want/need will reduce your personal power.

Would you be willing to provide financial support for your Dom? If you are wealthy, would you consider accepting a collar from a middle class or lower class Dom? Would you pay more than 'your share' of the expenses so He could enjoy the standard of living you're used to?

Would you be willing to protect your Dom? Would you step in if He was assaulted? Harrassed? Arrested? Sued? Injured?
Disabled?

Do you feel that support, protection, or qualified advice is within your repetorie of your 'personal power'?

If so do, do you feel you would pledge to furnish such things to your Dom by accepting His collar?

Are there limits on the amount or degree to which you'd be willing to provide support, protection or advice to your Dom?

If you have been collared, does your Dom accept support, protection or advice from you?

If you are uncollared, would such willingness by a Dom be a want/need you'd seek -- or avoid -- in a Dom?

pinkieplum

Answering for my submissive, because I can.

He does support me financially. I am a stay at home parent and do not do well in the working world when I have been in it. He understands this is not a strength for me whereas it is a strength for him (and gives him a level of happiness and reward that it has never given me.)

His "defend his woman" instincts are fully intact, though well controlled. He is on my side as I am on his.

I think he'd be willing to pledge these things. There is a line, of course; no one wants a relationship with a leech. (Okay, almost no one.)

I rely on his support, emotional much more so than financial. We love each other, and think that goes along with the loving.

(in reply to pinkieplum)

Post #: 6

RE: What are you Wiling to Give a Dom/me? - 6/23/2008 5:48:51 AM

OmegaG

Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkieplum

i'm not referring to submission, slavery, service, etc.

My question is more about the lengths -- if any -- to which you would go to provide for your Dom/me when Their want/need will reduce your personal power.

Would you be willing to provide financial support for your Dom? If you are wealthy, would you consider accepting a collar from a middle class or lower class Dom? Would you pay more than 'your share' of the expenses so He could enjoy the standard of living you're used to?

Would you be willing to protect your Dom? Would you step in if He was assaulted? Harrassed? Arrested? Sued? Injured?
Disabled?

Do you feel that support, protection, or qualified advice is within your repetorie of your 'personal power'?

If so do, do you feel you would pledge to furnish such things to your Dom by accepting His collar?

Are there limits on the amount or degree to which you'd be willing to provide support, protection or advice to your Dom?

If you have been collared, does your Dom accept support, protection or advice from you?

If you are uncollared, would such willingness by a Dom be a want/need you'd seek -- or avoid -- in a Dom?

pinkieplum

I believe that relationships are symbiotic, that each person gives as well as recieves. What is given and recieved is based on the individual relationship.

The financial question is tricky. I believe that people should be productive, I also beleive they should do something that they love. I have dated men that have made less then me but loved their jobs, I also broke up with a man after he transitioned from a job that he loved to a higher paying job that he loathed, it literally sucked too much of him out. I also feel uncomfortable around people who are financially set for life and therefore feel they can laze about, yet have high respect for those that use their financial independence to enhance their world.

Would I protect him? I have a strong urge to protect anyone who is being hurt, and were he in that possition he would be no different.

Would I give him advice? Why wouldn't I share my knowlege with him? Why wouldn't I uplift him, I think it would be selfish not to.

_____________________________

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to pinkieplum)

Post #: 7

RE: What are you Wiling to Give a Dom/me? - 6/23/2008 6:28:55 AM

metalmiss

Posts: 341
Joined: 5/4/2005
From: Croydon, UK
Status: offline

All of the questions you ask, to me, go without saying.

Would i give up my own personal power to Him? Yes, completely & without reservation.

Support Him, protect Him & advise Him? Yes of course.. All i have and all that i am belongs to Him. His happiness is my priority.

i don't see how you can say this is not about submission.. Nothing in my life is not about my submission.. It underpin's all that i am, especially with regards to my relationship with Him. When i became His i did so 100%, with NO reservations. i do not segregate parts of my life or divide myself between what i want to give and want to hold back.

i am not a doormat, it takes a very strong person to be a slave and accept that level of control in all areas of my life. my Master encourages me to build myself up as a person, to give my opinions and ideas as and when they arise. He is the only person in my life that i am answerable to, i would help and support Him in all ways if He ever needed it. Because We are two souls together & there are no compromises.

< Message edited by metalmiss -- 6/23/2008 6:32:46 AM >

_____________________________

"The longing to serve, to submit, to abandon oneself sexually, emotionally, and physically makes one a slave either to a Man, a Woman or to God. Submission to that passion is divine degradation." - Dorothy C. Hayden

Owned by RavenMuse

(in reply to pinkieplum)

Post #: 8

RE: What are you Wiling to Give a Dom/me? - 6/23/2008 8:01:33 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

~ Fast Reply ~

Perceiving the relationship between a Dom/sub, Master/slave, or even Top/bottom as a zero sum game is a plan for failure. Perceiving a 'collar' as payment for services rendered or services anticipated places the mindset on the individuals. Even if only one side of the relationship thinks in these terms there is little chance for success. Someday, in some regard, coming from that perspective processing the value received won't be equal to services rendered. From that day forward playing to 'get even' will cause one party to hold back. When you hold back, you also begin the process of looking for another source for a more equitable exchange; or perhaps even a bargain. Its all about you, and usually that's the only person you end up with - deservedly so.

I've said it before; a relationship is not a product of a zero sum game. The sum of the whole is greater than the parts or the assets either party brings to the table. You protect and serve what you value. In a relationship that should be the relationship itself. The experience doesn't exist in as individual. Processing daily life and interaction as an individual will result in peaks and valleys; processing the same life within the context of a relationship and focusing on that relationship and the peaks are higher. Better yet, any valleys are shared.

Wealthy or poor, if you value wealth more than the relationship you'll fail. All encompassing, at minimum, you should value the relationship as much as yourself. Without that mindset why go into a relationship? During any time of difficulty you will bail on the relationship as a form of self preservation. Perceiving you are not getting equitable value for services rendered makes you a customer not a partner. The thought process itself speaks of being emotionally and mentally incompetent of having a relationship.

Whether monetary or emotionally/intellectually; going into a relationship with the idea of keeping score - you've already lost.

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 6/23/2008 8:04:04 AM >

(in reply to metalmiss)

Post #: 9

RE: What are you Wiling to Give a Dom/me? - 6/23/2008 8:33:23 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
Whether monetary or emotionally/intellectually; going into a relationship with the idea of keeping score - you've already lost.

Awesome.

_____________________________

Good is the enemy of great.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 10

RE: What are you Wiling to Give a Dom/me? - 6/23/2008 8:36:05 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

His bank balance is not of interest to me. Master and i have been together over 2 years and i never even though about his bank balance. As for protecting him i would, but i know he would not let me. I would protect him with my life if necessary. As for advice if he asked me for it i will give him my best advice. I will support him in anything he wants to do.

Of course all that for me falls under my submission to and my love for him.

Mat's littleone

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 11

RE: What are you Wiling to Give a Dom/me? - 6/23/2008 8:47:09 AM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: metalmiss

i don't see how you can say this is not about submission.. Nothing in my life is not about my submission.. It underpin's all that i am, especially with regards to my relationship with Him. When i became His i did so 100%, with NO reservations. i do not segregate parts of my life or divide myself between what i want to give and want to hold back.

Well said!

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to metalmiss)

Post #: 12

RE: What are you Wiling to Give a Dom/me? - 6/23/2008 8:51:03 AM

softness

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline

Would you be willing to provide financial support for your Dom?
willing yes, support yes, wage slave and house slave .. no. I would not be willing to "keep" my Owner full time, support if He couldn't work is one thing, enabling Him to be a bum is something else.

If you are wealthy, would you consider accepting a collar from a middle class or lower class Dom?
I wonder how hard I would get beaten for saying He is "collaring up"? ... I have certain requirements that sadly (due to sociopolitical circumstances of the 21st century) are more often met by someone in the middle or upper classes.

Would you pay more than 'your share' of the expenses so He could enjoy the standard of living you're used to?
Sure ... my money is His money. I am not however going to hand over financial cotnrol to a gold digger. I give that control to someone who is able to create that standard for both of us, and have my money enhance it.

Would you be willing to protect your Dom? Would you step in if He was assaulted? Harrassed? Arrested? Sued? Injured? Disabled?
Sure .. I would try. I would rip the throat out of anyone who tried to harm Him, just like I would for anyone I care about. The likelyhood of me being more effective at that than me is pretty laughable though.
If He was harmed and needed my care, He would have it without question.

Do you feel that support, protection, or qualified advice is within your repetorie of your 'personal power'?
Yes. In fact support and advice (appropriately provided) are the mainstay of my service to Him.

If so do, do you feel you would pledge to furnish such things to your Dom by accepting His collar?
well yes ... see above

Are there limits on the amount or degree to which you'd be willing to provide support, protection or advice to your Dom?
Other than enabling Him to be a bum by supporting Him, then no. If offering support, protection and advice became negative (if he was dependent on me for all things and became a drain ... I would lose respect for Him and eventually remove my collar. I really believe that free healthy adults should provide for themselves unless they are unable to do so. I wouldn't be able to respect an Owner that needed me to prop him up. support, yes ... prop no.

If you have been collared, does your Dom accept support, protection or advice from you?
DV has accepted my advice and support (never needed my protection) for a long time, as His friend and His property. I respect Him all the more for not falling into the uber dom trap of not lowering himself to ask advice from His slave. I have useful things to offer, He sees this and asks for them.

If you are uncollared, would such willingness by a Dom be a want/need you'd seek -- or avoid -- in a Dom?
I would always want someone who was able to accept help, support and advice from me even if they didn't use the advice. I find Doms that require constant support and reassurance to be a extreme turn off because it is an unsettling insecurity for any adult to require that, let alone an Owner to need that.

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to pinkieplum)

Post #: 13

RE: What are you Wiling to Give a Dom/me? - 6/23/2008 8:53:59 AM

OmegaG

Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline

I'm in lust all over again, Softness

_____________________________

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to softness)

Post #: 14

RE: What are you Wiling to Give a Dom/me? - 6/23/2008 9:00:37 AM

softness

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG

I'm in lust all over again, Softness

giggles ... what did I do this time?!

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 15

RE: What are you Wiling to Give a Dom/me? - 6/23/2008 9:02:59 AM

OmegaG

Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline

oh, all you have to do is be you, but the picture is awesome!

_____________________________

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to softness)

Post #: 16

RE: What are you Wiling to Give a Dom/me? - 6/23/2008 9:52:07 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

The answer to all of your questions is yes, should the dominant I am submitting to desired it.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to pinkieplum)

Post #: 17

RE: What are you Wiling to Give a Dom/me? - 6/23/2008 11:41:44 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

"collaring up"? .

Every sub/slaves dream.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to softness)

Post #: 18

RE: What are you Wiling to Give a Dom/me? - 6/23/2008 12:33:10 PM

charlotteS

Posts: 203
Joined: 3/9/2008
Status: offline

I don't see my willingness to include my partner in my life and share my abilities and assets with him as being strictly a D/s thing. I think my role as a slave allows me to engage in that type of relationship in a more definthe ed manner but I have always enjoyed sharing with others. I lived with these two guys for a brief time. One of them was always keeping track of who owed who how many drinks. The other guy and I always approached it from a "I've got this round, you get the next" without counting how much they were or if we each bought the same number of rounds. If someone was clearly taking advantage of me or I really didn't have the resources to help someone I wouldn't but so long as I feel a give and take between me and another person I have no desire to keep careful records of that give and take. It just comes naturally to me.

Master moved here to be with me so he came with the clothes on his back and what he could fit in two suitcases. I helped him through until he could get settled on his own and if I sat down and looked at the numbers I've probably contributed financially far more than he has. But I don't feel used or as though I've done something wrong. I struggled with it for a bit...thinking I "should" feel used but ultimately had to realize that just because I live in an "every man for himself" society doesn't mean that's how I "should" behave. I would do everything I've done over again if it meant hanging onto the connection and sense of sharing between us. He gives me more than I could ever explain in words or would really want to.

If I ever start feeling frustrated I just remember how it made me feel when my mom got angry about two tupperware containers that my sister and her bf borrowed and how she wasnt' going to get them back. I thought " I will never value tupperware over my family."

charlotte

< Message edited by charlotteS -- 6/23/2008 12:36:21 PM >

_____________________________

"When you are your freest self, who are you?" Jack Rinella

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 19

RE: What are you Wiling to Give a Dom/me? - 6/23/2008 12:54:35 PM

BRNaughtyAngel

Posts: 1821
Status: offline

Your posts often come across as someone who is too paranoid to actually have a real life, in person relationship for all sorts of reasons, including financial issues.

Take away the whole D/s element and you still have two (or more) people in a relationship. We see evidence of unhealthy, screwed up relationships on here every day. But we also see some pretty amazing ones as well.

I cannot imagine a loving, trusting, healthy relationship that did not include taking care of each other, in whatever way is needed at that moment. Doesn't matter if it's chicken soup or picking up the slack financially, etc.

We don't sit and keep tabs of who paid for what, etc and I wouldn't be with someone who was that nitpicky. When one is more financially able than the other, we quietly and respectfully pick up the tab, pay for this or that without making a big deal out of it.

We are both very giving and generous where the other is concerned. Oh and He gets lots of pies from me..... and cakes..... but mostly pies. I support His pie habit (not to mention the other firemen at His station).

As to your other questions........
He seeks my opinion on all sorts of stuff, and has told me many times that He values my opinion.

We are protective of each other and our relationship.

(in reply to pinkieplum)

Post #: 20

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