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somethndif -> RE: Giving your slave to, or being given to others (6/23/2008 4:38:14 PM)
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ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx
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ORIGINAL: somethndif
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ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx
There is a discussion in another forum regarding gang bangs. Personally, it sounds pretty hot, but from the people I've talked to who have actually done it, I hear over and over again how it 'broke something' either inside of them, their partner, their relationship, or a combination.
I'm interested in hearing from both sides; where it turned out great, and you can't wait to do it again, and why, and also from those who found it didn't turn out well for them, and why. Would you do it again? Why or why not?
Post anonymously if you want to, I don't care. I just didn't want to derail another person's thread any more than I already did, so I thought I'd bring it here.
In my mind, at least cautioning someone of possible fall-out from such a situation was a responsible thing to do. To another person's thinking, I was being a prude for not just saying 'you go girl' and giving her specific advice on how to deal with it...erm...Idk? Don't look down? Slippery when wet?
What do you think the statistics are for something like this? My gut tells me that except for some very special and open people, this could go very bad very quickly; but I could be dead wrong.
I have given my submissives to other men, and women for sexual use, including my current one. It is hot, but that is just an added bonus. What really floats my boat is that it is a powerful symbol of her submission to me, and my control of her. I tell her who to fuck and suck, and I control what she does and with whom. I have not arranged a gangbang, but I have had a submissive suck and fuck two other men on two occasions.
I have shared three different submissives with others. But it is not something that I do often. It has not been an problem for me, or for my submissives who have been shared. They have all told me they enjoyed the experience. But I have also gone to swingers clubs with submissives, although not lately, so my experience may be quite different than other men, who haven't experienced watching their wife/submissive/lover/whatever have sex with someone else and enjoy it.
The first time I shared my partner with another man, I did have some jealousy/possesiveness issues, but worked through them. That was long ago. It is just sex, after all.
I do think that many men who have the fantasy would have trouble with the reality and it might damage or destroy the relationship. But there is only one way to find out!!
Dan
Interesting Dan. How did you work through it?
What worries me just a bit (for people who aren't sure whether they should or not) is that yes, there is only one way to find out...but...what if it is devastating? I'm not sure it's worth it. I'm not sure it's not. I'm just....not sure...
By talking to her, and by thinking about and realizing that it is just sex. She had other men before me, and I had other women before her. Her having sex with someone else, at my command, for my pleasure -- and hers -- does not change our relationship. And it won't change our relationship, unless I let my reaction to it change it. So, I don't let it. Its just sex, and she did it for me, at my command.
It really wasn't that difficult to get through it, and over it. And, its much easier the second time, and every time after that. There may be twinges of jealousy, if she is really enjoying herself, but then I remember that when I am with someone new, I too am often more excited than I am with her when we have sex. After a while, sex with the same person, becomes somewhat predictable and routine. Its still very good and sometimes great, but I know her. Not so with someone new. And because of that being with someone new is exciting and sometimes very exciting.
Frankly, I don't "get" why it should be devastating for anyone, although I understand that some people feel that way. Its just sex, and really no different from any one night stand.
I do think you need to talk about it before doing it, and make sure that you and your partner are OK with it, and realize there may be some feelings of jealousy that arise, that you may have to work through.
I have also found that giving my partner to another provides more benefits than just the act itself. There is the anticipation and excitement in the days leading up to it, then the act itself, then remembering the hot scene for days and weeks after. *grin*
Dan
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