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I'm wondering... - 6/23/2008 1:41:03 PM   
Steponme73


Posts: 552
Joined: 11/9/2007
Status: offline 		I have noticed that a lot of the women on this site are looking for a "strong" man that will be their slave behind closed doors.  It seems to me that most women are looking for a vanilla Type A personality male, for the outside world and a Type B personality when he comes home at night...Am I right or am I missing the point?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: I'm wondering... - 6/23/2008 2:22:14 PM   
DominantJenny


Posts: 645
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline 		Not in my case. (Not that I'm looking for a man right now, as I have one, but...) By wanting a strong man, I mean more that I want someone who is emotionally stable and reasonably independent. More than a few guys I ran across in the sub world were a little TOO into being the spineless, useless blech that they enjoyed being referred to as. I'm good with a little humiliation play, but when it reflects reality a little TOO much...not my kind of guy.

(in reply to Steponme73)
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RE: I'm wondering... - 6/23/2008 4:16:52 PM   
MySweetSubmssive


Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		In general, I don't jive well with type A people.  As an introvert, musing sort muhself, they are moving in a rhythm different than my own.  For me strength means a sense of self, ethics, a sense of character, emotional strength (which, in part, means being willing to be emotionally vulnerable **which I LOVE about submissive men**).  I would call this "strength within" rather than "strength over."  I don't want Rambo.  (though there are days when it would be funny to fuck with his head) 

To put it in athletic terms, I want dancer strong, not football player strong -- lithe, graceful, collected, but not brutish. 

I think your (mis)conception comes from traditional cultural ideas of what ideal masculinity is.

When I say things on the boards like "I love a man's strength" or "I'm attracted to competence," it concerns me that submissive think I (and others) are looking for an uber-man, some super-polished image that no earthly submissive man can compete with.  Shoot.  At bottom, I'm looking for someone I'm compatible with as a person who also wants to experience D/s with me.  That's *my* 99th percentile.

Mss

(editing for perhaps the 3rd time)

< Message edited by MySweetSubmssive -- 6/23/2008 4:33:26 PM >

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RE: I'm wondering... - 6/23/2008 4:22:33 PM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		Dittos.  I am only interested in people who are functional in real life.  I also don't want a play pretty who's going to whine "Ow!  That hurt." like that sissy Stooge that took over after Curly left.

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to MySweetSubmssive)
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RE: I'm wondering... - 6/23/2008 4:29:03 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Why would we not want strong, independent men with character and personality?  Crawling, obsequious worms are only interesting in porn~~and not even then, if you're me. 

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[page 23 girl]



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RE: I'm wondering... - 6/23/2008 5:41:20 PM   
MzticStormz


Posts: 59
Joined: 3/19/2005
Status: offline
If I wanted someone to follow me around, agree with everything I do, and drool on my shoes.. I would buy a dog. A strong man can be my submissive out in the real world just as much as he is behind closed doors.. sometimes it is the subtle things that remind him who he belongs to, and who he has chosen to submit to.  

That does not mean that I as his Dominant can do things to jeopardize his job, family or friendship relations, in fact just the opposite applies in that I have to do everything I can to protect those. Sometimes it takes a strong man to put that much trust into a Dominant's hands.

(in reply to Steponme73)
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RE: I'm wondering... - 6/23/2008 6:14:18 PM   
petdave


Posts: 2479
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Steponme73

I have noticed that a lot of the women on this site are looking for a "strong" man that will be their slave behind closed doors.  It seems to me that most women are looking for a vanilla Type A personality male, for the outside world and a Type B personality when he comes home at night...Am I right or am I missing the point?


i think you're right. Dominant, submissive, or vanilla, "Mr. Right" is always James Bond +/- 10%. No mercy for the weak!

< Message edited by petdave -- 6/23/2008 6:31:16 PM >

(in reply to Steponme73)
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RE: I'm wondering... - 6/23/2008 6:47:46 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I think the gals before Me said it so well that I don't have to add anything.

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: I'm wondering... - 6/23/2008 8:31:40 PM   
Sylverdawn


Posts: 1123
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I think you missing the point

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Being a women is hard work Maya Angelou

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RE: I'm wondering... - 6/23/2008 9:33:27 PM   
CoasttoCoast


Posts: 71
Joined: 5/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Steponme73

most women are looking for a vanilla Type A personality male,


^ There you go,I removed the superfluous parts.

(in reply to Steponme73)
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RE: I'm wondering... - 6/23/2008 9:35:29 PM   
pagankinktress


Posts: 80
Joined: 8/12/2007
Status: offline 		My feeling has always been that it takes strength to submit in the first place. It means more when he submits because of his personal inner-strength, or perhaps, even *in spite* of it, if that makes sense.  When an exchange of power is taking place, there has to be some sort of personal power there to relinquish(even if it's only in the moment or contextual) to begin with.

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My Blog: http://www.bohemianrhapsodize.com/
http://twitter.com/pagankinktress

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RE: I'm wondering... - 6/23/2008 10:27:56 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		I want a man who is Type A, but unfulfilled unless he is in service, speficially to me.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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(in reply to Steponme73)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: I'm wondering... - 6/24/2008 9:13:44 AM   
Steponme73


Posts: 552
Joined: 11/9/2007
Status: offline 		Thanks for the responses...that clears somethings up for me and helps me understand better.  Thanks again

< Message edited by Steponme73 -- 6/24/2008 9:14:47 AM >

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: I'm wondering... - 6/24/2008 9:16:09 AM   
Reigna


Posts: 334
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Steponme73

I have noticed that a lot of the women on this site are looking for a "strong" man ... It seems to me that most women are looking for a vanilla Type A personality male


Perhaps they are, but I'd argue that it's a mistake to equate "strength" with Type A personality. Admittedly, it's a common mistake, and dominant women are as like as anyone to make it. But as several others have indicated, a lot of us really are looking for strength of character. For me, it's a must; everything else is a nicety.

(in reply to Steponme73)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: I'm wondering... - 6/25/2008 10:21:14 AM   
TeeGO


Posts: 451
Joined: 12/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MySweetSubmssive

In general, I don't jive well with type A people.  As an introvert, musing sort muhself, they are moving in a rhythm different than my own.  For me strength means a sense of self, ethics, a sense of character, emotional strength (which, in part, means being willing to be emotionally vulnerable **which I LOVE about submissive men**).  I would call this "strength within" rather than "strength over."  I don't want Rambo.  (though there are days when it would be funny to fuck with his head) 

To put it in athletic terms, I want dancer strong, not football player strong -- lithe, graceful, collected, but not brutish. 

I think your (mis)conception comes from traditional cultural ideas of what ideal masculinity is.

When I say things on the boards like "I love a man's strength" or "I'm attracted to competence," it concerns me that submissive think I (and others) are looking for an uber-man, some super-polished image that no earthly submissive man can compete with.  Shoot.  At bottom, I'm looking for someone I'm compatible with as a person who also wants to experience D/s with me.  That's *my* 99th percentile.

Mss

(editing for perhaps the 3rd time)


The football types can be submissive too....

_____________________________

Life is a mystery to be explored. An open mind is a portal to wondrous experiences!

(in reply to MySweetSubmssive)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: I'm wondering... - 6/25/2008 2:01:03 PM   
LolaBabalon


Posts: 21
Joined: 6/24/2008
From: NYC
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsStarlett

Dittos.  I am only interested in people who are functional in real life.


I couldn't agree more. There are "submissives" who use it as an excuse to be co-dependent and emotionally draining. [I'm also aware that there are "dominants" who use that as a way to hide their controlling and overbearing personalities] but I am not interested in either one of those types.


_____________________________

.:. life isn't about finding yourself. life is about creating yourself .:.

(in reply to MsStarlett)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: I'm wondering... - 6/25/2008 2:09:41 PM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		I like the football types myself...

whooo... *fanning*

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to TeeGO)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: I'm wondering... - 6/25/2008 4:18:57 PM   
Sylverdawn


Posts: 1123
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Married on of those Madame,,, WHOOOFUCKINGHOOOOOOOOOEY.. lol..now if I just could convince him he looks good bent over a spanking bench

_____________________________

“When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.” Elyane Boosler

Being a women is hard work Maya Angelou

(in reply to Madame4a)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: I'm wondering... - 6/25/2008 5:25:27 PM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		The football types can be submissive too....

Wanna show me?


_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to Sylverdawn)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: I'm wondering... - 6/25/2008 7:26:14 PM   
joyinslavery


Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline 		Thank you (sincerely).

That rabbit hole it far too deep to discuss here (many try though). 

I like your post.  That's one stroke count for sanity.  







< Message edited by joyinslavery -- 6/25/2008 7:44:41 PM >

_____________________________

"...we must learn, each one of us, that the world was not made for us, and that, however beautiful may be the things we crave, Fate may nevertheless forbid them."
-Bertrand Russell

Mainstream...The New Alternative

*Beware of dog*

(in reply to Steponme73)
Profile   Post #: 20
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