RE: Gangbang related - Emotionaly destructive sex. (Full Version)

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FRSguy -> RE: Gangbang related - Emotionaly destructive sex. (6/26/2008 12:46:07 PM)

Great response.  I as well have never been in an enviroment where guests could not be controlled no mater how many.

How do woman typicaly get over that hard used feeling?



cuddlemesoft -> RE: Gangbang related - Emotionaly destructive sex. (6/26/2008 12:47:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: rulemylife




[sm=agree.gif]  I think because a woman's entire body (including the brain) is connected with her sexual organs, (when we orgasm it's the entire body that stiffins up and tingles), and men only have the stuff hanging away from their body (penis and scrotum) that stiffin up and tingle...the two heads are quite a distance apart. 




REALLY!  I've been a man all my life and never knew that!  I've always thought men had pretty much the same reactions.  Silly me!  It always amazes me what I learn from all the expertise here on Collarme.


I agree with Rule. If a man ain't feeling it throughout his whole body then something isn't going right;)



cuddlemesoft -> RE: Gangbang related - Emotionaly destructive sex. (6/26/2008 12:50:35 PM)

giggle...sorry did I say too much



Missokyst -> RE: Gangbang related - Emotionaly destructive sex. (6/26/2008 12:57:20 PM)

For me the idea of gang bang sex only reinforces the idea I have in my head of only being wanted as an object.  Guys may think it is hot, but for many females it equates to not being worth shit if you some guy doesnt want you.  In a gangbang, you are just a hole.. or three.  It would crush what is left of my self esteem to give in to that mentality.
Kyst



MadRabbit -> RE: Gangbang related - Emotionaly destructive sex. (6/26/2008 1:01:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann
I'd have to agree with persephone's assessment here.  Maybe not to the degree she suggests; imagine (as a dominant male without any masochistic tendencies) being tied and fucked by seven women with strapons.  Gangbangs, generally speaking, aren't about the woman being pleasured by seven men; it's about being used by seven men.  Typically, they're about the woman being degraded, to being used as such a slut that she can't help but crave dicks without any regard for whom they are attached.

 
I would say that's a fair assessment and in that context, I would agree.
 
It was only my musings that spawned this thread and shouldn't be taken as any authority over the sexuality of women [:D]



ELUSIVE1 -> RE: Gangbang related - Emotionaly destructive sex. (6/26/2008 1:04:12 PM)

I don't understand why any woman would fantasize and agree to being used by the masses, but I am not hypocritical...I have been invited and participated w/strap on as one of the users, hell I am always too happy 'to please' someone...pretty cool that the guys ask me...I have not been a feature at any of these events, nor will I ever be...I am very choosy about whom I agree to play with



BRNaughtyAngel -> RE: Gangbang related - Emotionaly destructive sex. (6/26/2008 1:10:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

For me the idea of gang bang sex only reinforces the idea I have in my head of only being wanted as an object.  Guys may think it is hot, but for many females it equates to not being worth shit if you some guy doesnt want you.  In a gangbang, you are just a hole.. or three.  It would crush what is left of my self esteem to give in to that mentality.
Kyst


Ditto.  It has taken me a while to see myself as worth more than a quick fuck, and some days I still struggle with that headspace.

I need intimacy with my sex, and even if my Master chooses to just use a hole for His pleasure and doesn't worry about mine, I know that He loves me and values me as a woman, as a person and as His slave.

I know myself well enough to know that allowing myself to be objectified and used sexually in a gang bang setting or even just being lent out for sex with friends, would do serious emotional damage to my self worth. 

But it's a moot point for us anyway, because He doesn't share.



candystripper -> RE: Gangbang related - Emotionaly destructive sex. (6/26/2008 1:19:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FRSguy

It was discussed a little in the Gangbang thread and in its offshoot however a statement made by the madrabbit really kind of got me wondering.  This concept of a woman being emotionally damaged by sexual acts even though all the people involved in the sexual act are supportive of it.  My question is why?  I don’t really get it.  I’m sure its just because I am a guy and the thought of having seven or eight woman at a time and having sex to my physical max potential is rather hot. So why isn’t the thought of such activities for woman so unpleasant?  Where does this feeling come from?  For those that do engage in activities that most woman would have problems with how do you work around it? 

In my mind a submissive it totally not responsible for doing anything she is asked to do and the people involved should not be involved if they are not truly 100% supportive of the submissive efforts  in offering herself as meat for her dominant and whatever he chooses to do with it.  If its something that could end up placing the sub in jail or cause medical risks then I can defiantly see where she might say no however the thought of a woman who relishes the idea of being used to her potential by her Dom in any way he sees fit being emotionally damaged from such acts just doesn’t completely add up with me and I know my attitude id naïve or stupid but its something that derails me.

Just so you know I am one of those Doms that would adore seeing his girl in a Gangbang but I know that she could never do it.  I don’t understand why because I am of the type that would just plain be really supportive of it and she know this…. However, it’s a hard limit and a topic I will never bring up with her and I am totally okay with that.



 
I think 'force play' is hot, hot, hot and I hope to Gawd someday I'm collared and my Dom does this all the time, he he.
 
To me, there's a distinction -- an important one -- between 'force play' and 'rape play'.  I have 'rape play' on my 'hard limits' list.
 
Rape is an almost phobic fear for a lot of women, and gangrape is even moreso.  I'd imagine it's no different for men.  Your submissive has said 'gangrape play is a hard limit for me'; to do anything other than accept and respect this hard limit -- as I assume You promised to do with all her 'hard limits' -- is to place her in a state of anxiety and fear.
 
Personally I'd fight, and would rather be killed than raped -- certainly gangraped.  If my Dom asked me to 'play gangrape' after i had said 'no way, hard limit', I might wonder just how much He really loved me.
 
So Your submissive may not fulfill every fantasy, kink or fetish You have or might one day have?  Isn't that the dynamic of Your D/s relationship --that You will respect her 'hard limits'? 
 
I suggest You thank Your lucky stars You have a wonderful submissive in Your collar.  IMO, You should treat her with the respect You promised her, so she doesn't return her collar.
 
Best wishes,
 
candystripper



jesiul -> RE: Gangbang related - Emotionaly destructive sex. (6/26/2008 1:21:03 PM)

There are other aspects that I have yet to see addressed here, the men involved in the GB?
Who are they and where do the come from, are they friends and if so vanilla or D/s friends?

My questions begin there, if they are friends that are part of the BDSM world and participate then I would have to assume they are attracted to the submissive. So lets say that the Dom gathers up 7 of his and hers close male friends brings them over for a GB, the event goes well, she has a great time, the Dom is pleased.

Now you have 7 male Doms who are your friends who have had sex with your girl, you are at the next social event and one turns to you and says something about your girl. That she is looking very sexy, she is very out going and a social butterfly, something that is praising her. How does the Dom then think, is this friend saying this because he wants a repeat session or only because he admires her submissiveness, beauty or talents?

Then there is the moment that you see your girl hugging one of those friends, talking quietly to them or she points out that they have arrived. Is this because she thinks of them only as friends and enjoys their company?

Then there is the opposite side, one of those Friends says something, it unflattering about your girl. Is it because he no longer values her as a person?  Feels she is nothing more than meat to be used?

Now you have 7 male Doms who are by all rights wanting to speak of the event, and why shouldn’t they want such a bragging right? So they leave out the girls name and other attendee’s or perhaps they don’t, since it was something they did do they not have the right to tell of it?

Perhaps the lingering doubts of what happens after with those that show up to have sex with the girl, how they will view it, speak of it, think of the girl and her Dom that makes me question such an event. These questions are only if the men involved are BDSM’er, I can only imagine what would happen if there where vanilla males involved.

~jesi~



TwoNYCDommes -> RE: Gangbang related - Emotionaly destructive sex. (6/26/2008 1:40:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FRSguy
How do woman typicaly get over that hard used feeling?

I'm not speaking for myself on this, but I know many, many people (primarily in the BDSM community) who enjoy "that hard used feeling."  Objectification, humiliation, emotional masochism, etc. are common "likes" among subs--just look at the profiles on this site.


quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst
For me the idea of gang bang sex only reinforces the idea I have in my head of only being wanted as an object.  Guys may think it is hot, but for many females it equates to not being worth shit if you some guy doesnt want you. 

I've never quite understood why being wanted as an object is always considered a negative thing.  Being wanted for my intellect, personality, etc. is great; why should being wanted for other aspects of myself be bad?  When random subs approach me in a club, for example, I know they are doing so based almost entirely on how I look--and if that gets me some easy, admittedly shallow play, when I'm in the mood for such, then I'm pleased.  Sure, it's not nearly as deep as a relationship with someone who submits to me because of who I am, but fun doesn't always need to be deep.



variation30 -> RE: Gangbang related - Emotionaly destructive sex. (6/26/2008 2:00:34 PM)

I honestly don't understand the desire to see your woman gangbanged.

my kindergarted teacher noted that I don't share well and that hasn't changed. I would never receive pleasure from seeing my woman rammed by a group of people who are not me. she's my property and I don't want anyone else to have her.

hell, I don't even let people drive my car.



variation30 -> RE: Gangbang related - Emotionaly destructive sex. (6/26/2008 2:04:26 PM)

I wish I were objectified by my looks more often.

it's quite flattering. I never have understood what women complain about.



Lynnxz -> RE: Gangbang related - Emotionaly destructive sex. (6/26/2008 2:15:50 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FRSguy

How do woman typically get over that hard used feeling?


Some don't.  I was involved in one gangbang.. ONE and it was entirely no fucking fun at all. I hate humiliation as a general rule, what the hell do I want 4 other retards calling me slut and whore and all other kinds of shit?

There was no "Wow hot girl" mentality that some people are trying to pass off. I could have been a hole in a couch cushion for all they cared- AND I didn't even get off the whole night. Not impressed. At all.

The guy I was with ended up getting pissy and jealous after the fact-what a pain, was his idea in the first place.


*Grumpy*

*End Rant*



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Gangbang related - Emotionaly destructive sex. (6/26/2008 2:21:24 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

quote:

ORIGINAL: FRSguy

How do woman typically get over that hard used feeling?


Some don't.  I was involved in one gangbang.. ONE and it was entirely no fucking fun at all. I hate humiliation as a general rule, what the hell do I want 4 other retards calling me slut and whore and all other kinds of shit?

There was no "Wow hot girl" mentality that some people are trying to pass off. I could have been a hole in a couch cushion for all they cared- AND I didn't even get off the whole night. Not impressed. At all.

The guy I was with ended up getting pissy and jealous after the fact-what a pain, was his idea in the first place.


*Grumpy*

*End Rant*



I think that most gangbangs end up like Lynn's rather than like anyone's hot fantasy unless they are incredibly well orchestrated.  And if they are planned in a advance that tightly, would they be as much fun?  I'm entertained by the idea of a Messalina v. Calpurnia type battle of the whores, but being prodded and groped by a series of men only interested on getting themselves off?   Give them a a blow up doll.



crouchingtigress -> RE: Gangbang related - Emotionaly destructive sex. (6/26/2008 2:40:22 PM)

I am attracted to the idea of facing my ego head on...i too feel fear that i will feel worthless dirty a whore pig....and i am attracted to asking the question in the realest way that i know..."is that really me?"

does it matter if Lee sees me that way or if a room ful of strangers do? does it matter if i am shown on youtube? i had a great talk in a hot tub with femcar one night, and for those that dont know her she is known for the most intense humiliation scenes bar none. And we were talking about stripping the layers of ego, how to know yourself and to peek behind the curtain at the being you truly are, not the mental construct built from society's values or the moral self imposed "values" is truly amazing.

and although i have never done it ( yet,....for safty reasons) i could see the intrinsic value in testing my egoic self in such a way.

i mean lets say i am sitting there in a pile of piss and cum( and whatever)at the end of an exhausting gang bang scene...and i have the guts to ask the question, is this me? does this define my worth as a human? and how amazing it would be to live through that and walk away from that experience extra proud of myself because i have proved that i am far more infinite and luminous as a being....then can ever be known.

i would think that if one went into it with that frame of mind, one might walk away the opposit of broken....but heres the thing, i dont thing that doing it for a master ofr a sir would work, sure i can see the therory behind it, but just like you can never quit drinking for someone else you have to do this thing....for yourself.



MasterFireMaam -> RE: Gangbang related - Emotionaly destructive sex. (6/26/2008 2:46:38 PM)

Your support of it, and of her doing it, in no way changes the possible effects it will have on her. She'd going to feel what she feels. Even in the best of circumstances, something might be said that hits a psychological landmine and then the scene spirals out of control, becoming a true rape-centered gangbang rather than just a bunch of approved people fucking her. She might still continues through with it to "please" you...yet when she's done, she now has issue about 1) what was done, 2) why she did it and 3) why she didn't stop it and 4) why you didn't "see" there was a problem and stop it yourself.

I can support my friend going skydiving...but that doesn't change the possiblity of him having broken legs if his chute doesn't open.

Master Fire



CalifChick -> RE: Gangbang related - Emotionaly destructive sex. (6/26/2008 2:57:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: jesiul

How does the Dom then think, is this friend saying this because he wants a repeat session or only because he admires her submissiveness, beauty or talents?

Then there is the moment that you see your girl hugging one of those friends, talking quietly to them or she points out that they have arrived. Is this because she thinks of them only as friends and enjoys their company?

Then there is the opposite side, one of those Friends says something, it unflattering about your girl. Is it because he no longer values her as a person?  Feels she is nothing more than meat to be used?


At the risk of dipping into the stereotype pool... this sounds like classic "female" overthinking to me.  I'd be interested to know from guys if any of those thoughts would occur to them (for a second dip into the stereotype pool).

Cali



persephonee -> RE: Gangbang related - Emotionaly destructive sex. (6/26/2008 3:04:35 PM)

~fast reply~
The difference between reality and fantasy is that in fantasy you dont have to deal with the aftermath. The reality is much closer to the hole in the couch scenario....(im so sorry it went that way for you, L). There is the time while the bangee is being...banged....for her to consider her position here and now...as ct stated...to challenge her egoic self....
my thought here is, if in the pile of piss and come, and once the question has been posed to herself....what if the answer to "is this really me?"....is "yeah, it is." If "you" are the compilation of your lifes experiences.....
Now what?
And again...not knocking it...just wondering.



crouchingtigress -> RE: Gangbang related - Emotionaly destructive sex. (6/26/2008 3:18:08 PM)

quote:

my thought here is, if in the pile of piss and come, and once the question has been posed to herself....what if the answer to "is this really me?"....is "yeah, it is." If "you" are the compilation of your lifes experiences.....
Now what?
And again...not knocking it...just wondering.


Aloha persephone, please call me amy :)

What i am saying is that we humans are so much more then the complilation of all of our experiances, in fact i have said this and believed it for years....so part of what is attracting me being in an abject humiliation scene to a is the opportunity to put my money where my mouth is and test it for myself.

Your sig line speaks of the soul, and what is real and what is not, and you asking the question speaks of the same thing...i just started reading your posts today but i get the feeling you are a deep thinker, so i think you will know what i am talking about when i say that i believe that all humans are more then the thoughts they think or the actions they do....much more.



persephonee -> RE: Gangbang related - Emotionaly destructive sex. (6/26/2008 3:28:38 PM)

Hiya amy....

i honestly think i could get up from the pile and know for a fact that im more than a servicehole....altho that is my favorite nic in the right company.
my question is more along the lines of what happens if the girl thinks shes not?



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