MizSuz -> RE: Pro Dommes (12/10/2005 12:10:27 PM)
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: amayos Does the name Ilsa Strix sound familiar? She was one (admittedly more intelligent, articulate and stable), among a handful... I did a lot of research, yes, and untimately the business side of their nature just didn't give me that warm, fuzzy feeling. Perhaps I should have kept searching, but I just couldn't go to sleep at night and be content with myself doing so. Yup, I'm familiar with Ilsa. Poor girl's had her own share of troubles in recent years. The people I know who know her personally and professionally are all quite fond of her and speak highly of her. It sounds like you did do your homework to some extent or another. Congratulations as it's not often someone who complains about pros has done so. As to your quest for the warm fuzzy, I can see how you wouldn't have gotten that from initial contacts, even with a legitimate pro. Whether the relationship starts in a chatroom, munch, coffee shop or in a pro dungeon it's still a relationship that must be developed. Some folks come together and immediately get warm fuzzies (I'm usually suspicious of that, frankly) and others have to let that develop over time. It's reasonable that initial interactions with a pro dom are going to be about business. Get the business out of the way early on and then set about seeing if you click, which is pretty much what lifestylers do too. A pro isn't going to let you test the waters for free, that's true. But if you value your man-hours then would you say that your investment in finding a lifestyler has been free? Has it been successful? I admit to having a knee-jerk reaction to anyone who suggests that professional relationships are not 'real' or 'valid.' I have many extensive personal experiences that invalidate that notion and too much respect for the people who started as 'clients' and became 'regulars' and are now just 'important to me' to allow it to slide. To answer a question before it's asked - I haven't taken a new client in more than four years and I've been making my living in a vanilla venue since before then, so you decide whether I'm a 'pro' or not. It's moot to me. In my experience the person who complains about the pro not being a real relationship or domme is generally the person who goes into the interaction from a suspicious "you're not going to take me for a ride" perspective. The pros I know won't waste their time trying to get past that; so the individual walks away feeling like they got treated like 'business as usual' when what they got was politely dismissed. I also acknowledge that this is not ALWAYS the case but simply the way things usually transpired in my world when I was a full time pro. Your mileage may vary.
|
|
|
|