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Dom Profiles vs. Email - 6/27/2008 10:24:54 PM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

I know there have already been a zillion threads on profiles. This Op is just an aside.

I'm confused by a Dom who emails and says:

'I liked your profile.' (No details provided. The damned thing is an essay -- what pray tell did you like about it?)

Followed by:

'Please read mine; I think you'll like it too.'

So, I toddle over to look at this promising profile and what do I find?

'I enjoy bondage.'

'Submission begins in the heart.'

'I am looking for a good submissive.'

I'm sure you get the idea -- the profile doesn't communicate anything about what the Dom seeks in a submissive, nor anything about what sort of man he is, how he's lived his life, what his values are, etc.

I can't even tell from such profiles whether he's married or has a so.

I know I am being complimented when anyone takes the time to email me. And I know with gentle prodding most Doms will eventually provide the info I seek.

I also know that there are some terrific Dom profiles out there.

However, if you dashed off a few lines as your profile and it seems to resemble the type profile I have described, I just wanted you to know it's a bit frustrating for submissives like me.

I feel a little like I'm playing '20 questions' via email in lieu of getting any info from the profile.

Sometimes it seems like Doms tend to believe that their own profiles aren't important, but I assure you they are, at least to me.

Maybe some Doms prefer the exchange of questions and answers via email to the more-informative profile. I can see where that might happen, and if that's your preference I'm not objecting to it.

I want to find my One. I want to be collared. If only you could give just a hint in your profile of who you are and what you value in a submissive, that'd be great.

Just submitted respectfully for your consideration.

Best wishes, you lovely men.

candystripper

Post #: 1

RE: Dom Profiles vs. Email - 6/27/2008 10:36:04 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

If someone reads back through my gods how many posts-they will get the gist of me.

I do not package it neatly in a few paragraphs for fast food consumption. Maybe the others feel they should not be seen as conveniece items as well?

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 2

RE: Dom Profiles vs. Email - 6/27/2008 10:37:24 PM

Thadius

Posts: 5091
Joined: 10/11/2005
Status: offline

***Fast Reply***
It has to be better than the "on your knees slut" types of emails..

BTW,
Put on this pretty steel choker, while we discuss the finer points of Gorean slavery.

Don't mind me, I am in a fun loving mood tonight. I would guess that the issue does go in both directions. I get emails from TVs begging to spend hours on their knees sucking me off, so it becomes quite clear that even with a profile, some just don't care.

< Message edited by Thadius -- 6/27/2008 10:39:36 PM >

_____________________________

When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends." ~ Japanese Proverb

(in reply to Leatherist)

Post #: 3

RE: Dom Profiles vs. Email - 6/28/2008 1:47:32 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

I prefer to a well constructed profile even if it is a tad long as long as it gives me the insite regarding the person, their ststus, and what they are seeking if anything. I often send a short note to people congratulating them on an enjoyable profile. if there are points which stick out and are of interest, I'll comment on those as well. The only time I suggest anybody reads my profile is if some one looks prommising and has contact me or some one has asked a specific question which is answered fully in my profile.

Whilst I agree in part with Leatherist's comment, I more often than not direct people who have contacted me in other forums to my profile here to save lengthy repeating myself.

Iron Bear
(Incorrigible, irrepressible and irreverent)
Master of Bruin Cottage
(A Victorian Lifestyle poly home)

The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all your Tears wash out a Word of it.

Omar Khayyam 1048 CE to 1123 CE (Persian Mathematician, Scientist, Astronomer, Philosopher & Poet).

(in reply to Thadius)

Post #: 4

RE: Dom Profiles vs. Email - 6/28/2008 1:49:20 AM

Thadius

Posts: 5091
Joined: 10/11/2005
Status: offline

**off topic**

Great to see you out and about you old grumpy bear, it has been far too long.

I wish you well,
Thadius

_____________________________

When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends." ~ Japanese Proverb

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 5

RE: Dom Profiles vs. Email - 6/28/2008 2:12:11 AM

HeavansKeeper

Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

<QR>

"Accuracy through volume."

Tag enough doe with "Hey, how ya doin'?" and you're bound to get a little tail.

Edit: Removed my SS# and First/Last name.

< Message edited by HeavansKeeper -- 6/28/2008 2:19:09 AM >

_____________________________

The Loving Owner of HisHeavan

... You've waited your whole life for this moment...

(in reply to Thadius)

Post #: 6

RE: Dom Profiles vs. Email - 6/28/2008 2:16:27 AM

Hippiekinkster

Posts: 5512
Joined: 11/20/2007
From: Liechtenstein
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HeavansKeeper

<QR>

I first heard this phrase when playing paintball.

"Accuracy through volume."

Tag enough doe with "Hey, how ya doin'?" and you're bound to get a little tail.

Just out of curiosity, are you trying to spell "heaven"? There's another guy who spells Brethren "Breathren". I was just wondering if this is some new trendoid code for something. Carry on.

_____________________________

"We are convinced that freedom w/o Socialism is privilege and injustice, and that Socialism w/o freedom is slavery and brutality." Bakunin

“Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone; therefore we are saved by love.” Reinhold Ne

(in reply to HeavansKeeper)

Post #: 7

RE: Dom Profiles vs. Email - 6/28/2008 2:25:19 AM

MasterHermes

Posts: 136
Joined: 5/23/2008
Status: offline

My profile doesnt give information but it tells something about me and serves its purpose. Thats being said, I believe your thread has good points and I am sure it will give a perspective to people who are having hard time writing their profile. Not everybody is good at expressing themselves using words and creating profiles, catching other peoples attention and stealing their hearts with emails poses a difficulty for them. While some part of it depends on talent, I am sure a good portion of this skill can be improved with learning and getting good advice. I hope your thread will help at least to the dominants who wants to get in touch with you.

Thanks for Sharing
Hermes

P.s: Your signature says "by Vincent van Gogh, 1887 to 1880" .. I assume 1887 to 1880 is a typo there.

(in reply to Thadius)

Post #: 8

RE: Dom Profiles vs. Email - 6/28/2008 3:04:23 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

I don't get confused, I just don't bother to respond. In order to get my attention a dominant is going to have to do some work. Comment on my profile or something from the message board. I don't consider "I like your profile, maybe you'll like mine, please read it" anything more than the form letter it is.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 9

RE: Dom Profiles vs. Email - 6/28/2008 5:41:16 AM

SeeksOnlyOne

Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

it reminds me of a song i heard once.....something like do you like me too? check yes or no....

not a good way to approach things if youre out of elementary school.....imho anyhow

_____________________________

it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 10

RE: Dom Profiles vs. Email - 6/28/2008 5:47:54 AM

colouredin

Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline

See i personally DONT like profiles that simply list what they want, and im pretty sure that even if i was looking for 'the one' a list of stuff wouldnt bring me closer to knowing anything about them.

Relationships are based on learing about the person, asking questions and getting to know them, if you dont like asking questions you probably wont much like a relationship. My profile says nothing about the 'type' of person i want because my experiance has been that my type and i dont tend to stay in a relationship or else i wouldnt be single now would i.

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 11

RE: Dom Profiles vs. Email - 6/28/2008 6:17:15 AM

LadyRainfire

Posts: 6040
Joined: 2/20/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

See i personally DONT like profiles that simply list what they want, and im pretty sure that even if i was looking for 'the one' a list of stuff wouldnt bring me closer to knowing anything about them.

Relationships are based on learing about the person, asking questions and getting to know them, if you dont like asking questions you probably wont much like a relationship. My profile says nothing about the 'type' of person i want because my experiance has been that my type and i dont tend to stay in a relationship or else i wouldnt be single now would i.

I tend to agree, colouredin. In fact, I was about to respond and say that I believe that while a profile is a good starting point in finding out if you have some common grounds or interests with someone, that doesn't tell you who they are or if you'd even like them. I love to knit, sew, cook, read and many other things that are listed on my profile. Does it mean that I'm going to like every single person just because they like to read or cook too? No. So why not take the time to just get to know someone as friend and see what happens? Starting as friends, expecting nothing more, can have some unexpected, delicious outcomes. It's how Lumus and I met here on the boards, and not by searching the profiles.

Oh - and SOO? Check this out.....

_____________________________

"Desire is an insatiable beast. Sample your strongest dreams, and you will only crave more." ~ Master

~ one half of "L&L"~

My current state of mind

(in reply to colouredin)

Post #: 12

RE: Dom Profiles vs. Email - 6/28/2008 9:00:56 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Not everybody is a great writer. Is that what you want in a partner, someone with great language skills? Possibly an author, or editor, journalist, marketing? Or do you prefer someone more hands on with math and engineering skills?

Because basically the profile you quoted is just like the one I responded to. The difference is that I knew I didn't want another English major. I wanted a man with blue collar hands and a college education. He has more degrees than I do, all in engineering.

I feel that someone who can deal with the small things in life is someone who can deal with the big things. Logically I know that doesn't make sense, but emotionally I feel safer with someone who can look at a nonworking garage door and say "no problem, let's just go pick up a new spring at the store".

Most of life is petty stuff and being with someone who can talk to repairmen makes me feel better, because all I know is the car is making a weird noise, but he can tell the mechanic it sounds like a bad bearing. I feel protected with someone like this. And people like this aren't usually good at writing profiles.

He sent me a one liner, I had a question and sent back a two liner. We progressed from there. He never did the stereotypical "kneel slut" nonsense. We emailed for a couple of days, quickly progressing to long emails several times a day. And then he sent me emails explaining how to install a chat program. We moved to chat, then phone, then met. And that was five years ago.

He still hasn't ever written me a long love letter, he never will. But he tells me he loves me and he is planning to change the oil in my car plus a new oil pan since mine has a slow leak. Which is a couple of hours of messy work for him but saves $300 for me. And if that isn't love, then I don't know what is.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to LadyRainfire)

Post #: 13

RE: Dom Profiles vs. Email - 6/28/2008 9:04:24 AM

SeeksOnlyOne

Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyRainfire

Oh - and SOO? Check this out.....

dats it!

_____________________________

it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

(in reply to LadyRainfire)

Post #: 14

RE: Dom Profiles vs. Email - 6/28/2008 9:22:47 AM

dovie

Posts: 1211
Status: offline

candystripper,

just curious...........was your other screen name "pinksugarsub" or the like? your pattern is oddly like hers.

dovie

_____________________________

"Sometimes love is a nice long lick!"

gentle dove with 38's *the kind you shoot with*

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 15

RE: Dom Profiles vs. Email - 6/28/2008 9:44:39 AM

LadyRainfire

Posts: 6040
Joined: 2/20/2008
Status: offline

I'm not the OP but yes, it was, dovie.... As well as pinkieplum. There might be other names as well.

_____________________________

"Desire is an insatiable beast. Sample your strongest dreams, and you will only crave more." ~ Master

~ one half of "L&L"~

My current state of mind

(in reply to dovie)

Post #: 16

RE: Dom Profiles vs. Email - 6/28/2008 9:57:19 AM

HeavansKeeper

Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dovie

candystripper,

just curious...........was your other screen name "pinksugarsub" or the like? your pattern is oddly like hers.

dovie

You know this is the way synced mensies starts, right?

_____________________________

The Loving Owner of HisHeavan

... You've waited your whole life for this moment...

(in reply to dovie)

Post #: 17

RE: Dom Profiles vs. Email - 6/28/2008 10:02:23 AM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

Id I get an email like that, the first thing I do is ASK what they liked about mine. I wont view theirs until they answer. Its a volume game, they are loking to get viewed, even if it goes nowhere. And, obviously, it works.
I would rather call them on it and see if they actually read mine before I bother with theirs.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to HeavansKeeper)

Post #: 18

RE: Dom Profiles vs. Email - 6/28/2008 10:32:04 AM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HeavansKeeper

Tag enough doe with "Hey, how ya doin'?" and you're bound to get a little tail.

ROFLMAO.

That was priceless, HeavensKeeper; may i steal it?

candystripper

(in reply to HeavansKeeper)

Post #: 19

RE: Dom Profiles vs. Email - 6/28/2008 10:36:22 AM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterHermes

My profile doesnt give information but it tells something about me and serves its purpose. Thats being said, I believe your thread has good points and I am sure it will give a perspective to people who are having hard time writing their profile. Not everybody is good at expressing themselves using words and creating profiles, catching other peoples attention and stealing their hearts with emails poses a difficulty for them. While some part of it depends on talent, I am sure a good portion of this skill can be improved with learning and getting good advice. I hope your thread will help at least to the dominants who wants to get in touch with you.

Thanks for Sharing
Hermes

P.s: Your signature says "by Vincent van Gogh, 1887 to 1880" .. I assume 1887 to 1880 is a typo there.

Christ onna cracker! Last night cjan told me the painting was not entitled 'Starry, Starry Night'; only the song was; so I hadda fix that.

I swear I can't proof worth sh*t anymore; thanks for the heads up, Master Hermes.

<Runs off to Google to find van Gogh's b/d dates.>

Okay, all better now. TY again Sir.

candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 6/28/2008 10:39:09 AM >

(in reply to MasterHermes)

Post #: 20

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