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Denial - 6/27/2008 10:53:58 PM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
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Denial is a psycological defense mechanism. We all have them, and whichever ones we employ, we always pay a carrying charge.

Myself I can be dense as a door. 'I'll leave this room if it kills me -- but I'll never use a door!'

Being dense isn't itself a defense mechanism for me. I'm not always very astute. Once I form a belief or judgment or POV about someone or something, I don't always reexamine it as soon as new info suggests I should.

Sometimes I don't answer the clue phone on the first ring.

But however long it may take me, once I do get the clue I don't ignore it. I pull it out in the light of day and gather any other info or input I need -- and I change my POV when it's called for.

I've always been this way, so I can't say I chose it. I think we come tumbling out of the womb with a basics of a personality.

I find it very hard to be close with anyone who does use denial, though. To me, denial is a refusal to admit the truth....and I find myself kinda lost trying to figure out if I'm supposed to pretend I can't see the truth either. Most of the time it gets to be too hard and I tend to pull away.

Do you use denial? Would you be able to admit it, if you did? Has there ever been a cost to you because you were in denial?

Have you ever departed a relationship because of denial by the other person?

candystripper

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RE: Denial - 6/28/2008 2:16:02 AM

TMIk

Posts: 70
Joined: 6/19/2008
From: New York
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I'm in denial. I know what going on but I'm scared to say anything. I know how you feel. I'm tired of pretending I dnt see that what I'm doing is wrong.

_____________________________

You've crossed the walls - Excelled
Further along through their hell
All for my heart, I watch you kill
You always have, you always will
Now spread your wings and sail out to me
~Deftones

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RE: Denial - 6/28/2008 2:30:29 AM

ownedgirlie

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Joined: 2/5/2006
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I was in denial for a long time that my former marriage was as bad as it was, and that's why I didn't leave it. And then I was in denial that I played a part in how bad that marriage was, by allowing the abuse to happen and by not leaving when I should have.

The problem this caused for me later is that for a long time I didn't trust my inner voice. So it was very hard for me to trust that my Master's intentions were good, because I didn't trust in my own trust of him...if that makes sense.

They say we can't affect change in ourselves until we are ready to face the truth of what needs to be changed. I suspect that period of time when we are not ready to face ourselves is what we call being in denial.

_____________________________

Good is the enemy of great.

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RE: Denial - 6/28/2008 2:40:34 AM

Tannie

Posts: 134
Joined: 2/19/2007
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I was in denial about my current relationship's status until I caught him cheating. Now that the clue phone has rendered me deaf, I am making a huge change in my life and leaving so I can start over. I have never felt better about making a tough decision.

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RE: Denial - 6/28/2008 7:59:07 AM

batshalom

Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
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Sometimes I'm still in denial. I love to think that everything I say and do is perfect.

: D

(And my perfection is evidenced by "message edited", eh???)

< Message edited by batshalom -- 6/28/2008 8:00:07 AM >

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