candystripper
Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005 Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: Maya2001 I have to admit this puzzles the heck out of me..but I am continually contacted by Doms who live miles from me and the percentage is extremely high , some the other side of the globe others 600 or more miles away so not like a days drive to visit where it would easy to maintain on a regular basis... I state right up front that I am not willing to relocate nor am I agreeable to online D/s..yet still they want to persue, I have had one even go as far as stating they would move this way temporarily from 2500 miles away inorder for me to get to know them better feeling that once I know them I will be agreeable to moving to them or they feel they can maintain LD or move here, I just don't understand why they would seek someone so far away "do they feel the grass is greener? ", the adventure and congquest, is the pool of subs in their area so small that they have to broaden their search area? How satisfying is a relationship going to be with someone you can only see a few days here and there out of a year? then there are the issues of immigration .. you can spend a couple of years together but when deciding to join ... you may find yourself hitting a brick wall with the immigration department if an international relationship ... I know some manage to do successfully but the odds are hugely not in favor of working out so can result in a huge expenditure in time and money investing in long distance and especially international relationships. I have agreed to one relationship that is long distance but in never started out as D/s but chatting as friends for several months, he was bored one night and seen me online and decided to try contacting me .. we rarely discussed BDSM , we found we had common interests and he liked the fact I was not responding yes Sir to every statement he made or doing the do me sub routine with him ..so over time a curiousity about each other developed . It is friendship based with no expectation of ownership or remaining monogamous to one another , if I find someone or he does ...so be it. So different situation than those that are contacting me looking for a relationship. For those those Doms that are looking far and wide for a sub and would consider those not willing to relocate and consider cross country or internationally ..can you give your reasons why ? Do you consider the barriers that stand in you way and the expense prior? and why you would not search close to home? I am trying to gain some insight .... I do know that some are in relationships so are ever intending for a meet and that there are those looking for wanking fodder they exist close to home as well .... but I am referring to those that are in a sincere search JME, Maya. Some Doms -- even ones who are 'sincere' -- don't read profiles before sending an initial email. Many send emails to women they think are pretty. It's just how it is -- men tend to be visual and not particularly anxious or willing to go on a snipe hunt to discover 'the essential you' before they make contact. I doubt anyone means any offense, and IMO it's futile to get upset about it. As for l/d relationships, yes, they run the gamet. Some people never meet -- pure online domination. It's not my cup of tea, but I don't judge. Some people write me, assuming I'll drop everything and move in with them after an email or two. This assumption is flawed, but I suppose there are women who want out of whatever sh*tpile they happen to be in they'd do it. I don't get upset about; I correct the flaw in perception and see if they are still interested. IMO, whether anyone plans to relocate, or both people do, etc., the l/d relationship is hard. I'm not sure I'd be willing to try one again. I suppose it'd depend in part on what sort of commitment, resources, etc. the Dom in question was willing to bring to bear on the problems of l/d. It's also okay to say 'local only' and stick to it. I haven't done that and I may or may not -- I'm stll mulling it over. If you've made that decision, I congratulate you, as it must make life much simplier. candystripper
|