SadistDave
Posts: 801
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline
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I would suggest starting with a few basic questions about your own needs and desires. Ask yourself what you hope to achieve, and how you hope to achieve those goals. More importantly, you should ask yourself if you're ready to do what is necessary to attain them.
Get used to this line of thought. BDSM is a lifestyle of never-ending opportunities and experiences. Most of us never stop learning about ourselves and re-assessing our desires and needs. We never stop looking for a new challenge to conquer. This begins in "the self". (I know, I know.... sounds like Bondage Wicca, LOL!)
If you haven't already done so, you need to realize that there is a clear difference between the fantasy of BDSM, and the reality of it. I've seen a lot of new folks get wrapped up in the fantasy elements of the lifestyle, without considering their own reactions to certain aspects of it. If reality sets in when you're unprepared for it, you're in for a rough time...
Example: Being a service oriented submissive might sound like a good time unless you have a serious problem being nude in front of people. Should your future Master decide he wants you to serve he and his cronies snacks in the buff at his Super Bowl party, you'll probably spend more time wishing you were dead than actually serving.
A good start might be a few good books and a BDSM checklist. Most scene related books are informative enough to make you ask yourself the important questions. After you've read a few, fill the checklist out as completely as you can, then go back and take a hard look at the things which interest you that you haven't experienced yet. Be critical of yourself when thinking about whether or not you are really capable of, or want to do these things. Look at the worst case scenarios and think about their importance and relevance to you.
Do some serious soul searching. Educate yourself. Do some more soul searching. Form a plan to achieve the goals you've set for yourself. Follow the plan. Make it your personal mission to to find creative ways to make that plan work when it bogs down. You have everything to gain by commiting to your plan 100%, and everything to lose if you don't.
Most importantly, get involved. Find real people locally that you can go to for guidance, and to gain some hands on experience. Find a local club if you can, and start going to meetings and parties. Whatever you do, don't wait around for something come along. Get out and be there when your opportunity presents itself.
I wish you well.
-SD-
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good luck and the forums are a great place to learn and get support
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