Financial Domination

Financial Domination (Full Version)

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tsatske -> Financial Domination (6/29/2008 12:19:51 PM)
I hope I do not come across as bashing those with a different kink or dynamic than myself. But I was talking with someone today about financial domination. Now, I have no problem with Pro Dommes. But, the thing with financail dommination is, it is open ended. the more you get bled for, the better, right? See, that I have a problem with. So, I was thinnking - if a male sub had a kink for financail dominaiton, perhaps he could find a pro Domme, negotate approprate fees, and then negoate a role play where the tribute is handed off in a way that FEELS like financial domination. Since I don't have this kink, i have to ask - would this work, to fill this need, do you think?

crouchingtigress -> RE: Financial Domination (6/29/2008 12:22:29 PM)
everything is negotiable.... let me go on to say, what i am hearing is your fear and desire to stay in control and there is nothing wrong with either....find a willing partner and negotiate what works for you, some folks will be thrilled with what you describe....

TexasMaam -> RE: Financial Domination (6/29/2008 1:12:56 PM)
If a sub wants financial domination it's probably because he knows he can't manage funds very well left to his own devices. He'll blow his money on new trucks, new bikes, liquor, dope, officepools, horses, Vegas - you name it, somewhere in his life his finances are out of control and he seeks someone who can keep him away from that abyss. That doesn't mean the sub needs a pro Domme or vice-versa. It only means a sub who wants financial Domination needs to search for a Domina who is hopefully experienced in the art of saving and investment, one who is honest enough or motivated enough in the relationship to have their mutual best interests at heart. You're generalizing to the extreme here - your post is sarcastic and flippant when the topic deserves serious discussion. I practice financial domination with My sub, within limits. What I direct him to pay for to demonstrate his investment into our future, he pays for. He keeps his control over his own paycheck and resources beyond those mutually agreed upon and planned payments. I'll probably ask him to deposit paychecks in a joint account as a test one day when the time is right. I hardly think that warrants him trotting off to a Pro Domme to pay for sessions....NOT. TM

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Financial Domination (6/29/2008 1:29:53 PM)
Financial domination can be one hell of a lot of work. The men that approach me actually want a financial MANAGER~~and lucky them, I have the qualifications! (no, I don't actually DO it!) The idea is, the dom takes the charge of his finances, pays his bills, does the investment stuffs, gives him an allowance, and then parties with the rest... Fun? Not to me. Just responsibility! This is a very specific kind of control fetish, because let's face it, in the West, a man's worth really IS his bank account. Imagine a person getting a six-figure salary and having NO control of it? Pretty exciting, especially if the person holding the purse strings isn't sharing any of it with him, or perhaps only tantalizing him with views of the Manolos, or whatever. I think about venturing into this world now and again, but I just can't manage it.

Steponme73 -> RE: Financial Domination (6/29/2008 2:29:16 PM)
In the wrong hands a sub who gives over all his money for finacial domination could find himself in deep trouble. Finacial domination is great, in my opinion, if the sub and Domme are a couple, or are close. But to just give your money away to someone who has aYahoo Group and tells you to do it is insane!

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Financial Domination (6/29/2008 2:54:14 PM)
Exactly! That's why I am so reluctant to do it! I am a CPA, and if someone HIRES me as such to be their business or financial manager, fine, there is a contract involved, and everything is written down. It IS a nice fantasy, though, just being given money! [:D] Of course, silly Me would just go paying for healthcare and such, it would be appreciated!

tsatske -> RE: Financial Domination (6/29/2008 3:40:51 PM)
TexasMa'am and LH - you are right, i came across very differantly from my intent. I really did mean specificly those who are turned on by the idea of being 'used', - most Dommes, pro or not, are not going to take advantage of that, but it seems that subs who like being 'bled dry' can find those who will. I was thinking of the 'give me money' kind of financial domination, not of the act of careful and rational control of a part of a subs life, but for his benifit - or the benifit of both, but not to do him harm. Master handles my money, i get on my knees once a week and ask respectfully for my allowance. I certainly have no more issue with this in a F topped relationship than in a M topped one. The topic actually came up because some males subs i know are caught up in handing money over to a F top - not as in 'please control my money', which seems to me a lot of work for a Dom or Domme, and a wonderful thing, just like any other act of domination, when they are willing to take it on - but in the sense of 'I don't care what your bills/responsibilities/problems are, give me cash, give me cash now!' This does occur in the lifestyle. I am sure it also happens to femsubs, but it does not seem to be quite so common as a femsub kink or fantasy. I was just saying, if someone had such a fantasy, i am thinking it would be better dealt with in terms of role play. Someone willing to take real and responsible financial domination could also be an answer to that fantasy. It would not even have to be full blown role play - so much of what we do in the lifestyle, we chose symbolic language that resonates with us. So the pair could simply word things as him 'turning all his money over' (which is exactly what he would, afterall, be doing) and as 'Mistress will do whatever she wants with it' (again, true as far as it goes) when, in truth, Mistress will care that what is done with the money turned over to him is not a damage to her sub. That just seems a healthier outlet to me for this fantasy which i have watched some subs allow to be harmful to them. amazingly, if your fantasy is to hand someone money until you experence hurt from that act - you can usually find someone to take your money. (again, this would surely be true for either male or fem bottoms, if they went looking for it)

MistressSybella -> RE: Financial Domination (6/29/2008 4:05:27 PM)
This is an area under our BDSM umbrella that I have never understood. For someone to want to be financially used, as a kink, where does that come from? What about that makes them tick? Can someone who is into being a moneyslave explain this to me? Miss 'Bella

AAkasha -> RE: Financial Domination (6/29/2008 4:55:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressSybella This is an area under our BDSM umbrella that I have never understood. For someone to want to be financially used, as a kink, where does that come from? What about that makes them tick? Can someone who is into being a moneyslave explain this to me? Miss 'Bella I have a theory, based on talking to a few submissives who were into the fantasy back when I used to do phone domination on a regular basis. I never got into a longterm arrangement with any of them because I found them to be incredibly flakey and of all the fetishists, easily the most high maintenance and demanding. They were a huge waste of time and I found it impossible to get into the erotic elements of it in any way that made it enjoyable from a femdom POV. That said, I think the reason some men are into the idea of financial domination is because they associate wealth with power, and they see it as a form of exploitation. There is something incredibly sexy about a woman that will bleed you dry of your money and spoil herself (making herself more beautiful, desirable, sexy) and leave you (the submissive) penniless, poor, exploited. I think there are many men (non kinky) that get a charge out of "spoiling" their ladies, and this kink is a perversion of that ideal - they feel powerful and powerless at the same time because a woman is using their money while they are helpless to do anything about it. But the reality is that like many fetishes it begins and ends with the orgasm. "Money pigs" will rattle on endlessly about how they want to be used, but when it comes down to it, their erotic passion for money makes them the type to rarely separate themselves from their cash. Sure, it was hot to talk about it, but the process of actually sending the money isn't part of the deal - it's just what they want to do. Many men have contacted me via my web site with all kinds of elaborate offers of buying materialistic crap in exchange for domination, but the reality is that as soon as they shoot the load, they realize they were being foolish. The fact that they have an erotic fantasy wrapped up in their money also means they have ego and pride wrapped into their wallet, and they are not going to be parted with it -- sure, they will talk about it though and want to know what you, the femdom, will do with their monies. That's where it ends though. I would always tell financial "slaves" that I had no interest in telling them what I would do with all the money and gifts they promised - they could just kindly pay the amount of money, no more no less, for the alloted time to discuss their fantasy. They wanted to be "milked" financially and obviously lots of women get excited about this prospect and will waste tons of time exploring the idea with them, then surely they are sad when the big package of cold hard cash does not arrive. Most pros are way too savvy for this -- I bet many who work as legit pro femdoms will tell you that these "financial subs" are the biggest blo-hards and time wasters who call up and say they are going to hand over lots of money but never show up. That's my theory on the whole thing. It's easily the least enjoyable fetish (from a femdom POV) for me, I think lots of women think "oh, cool, a man sends you gifts - what could be bad about that?" but these are men who pinch every penny and are very hot and cold with it, so it's just not worth the drama. I think most pay-for-play femdoms would opt for a sure thing exchange of money for services and spend their dollars on whatever they want, not be indebted to a man's fantasy to indulge his cash in the manner he finds most erotic - if his hardon lasts long enough to put the money on the table. Akasha

MistressVnus -> RE: Financial Domination (6/29/2008 7:18:31 PM)
quote: I was thinking of the 'give me money' kind of financial domination, not of the act of careful and rational control of a part of a subs life, but for his benifit - or the benifit of both, but not to do him harm. Master handles my money, i get on my knees once a week and ask respectfully for my allowance. I certainly have no more issue with this in a F topped relationship than in a M topped one. See. Thank you. Financial Domination, really, has nothing do to with "Pro-Domming." Period. Many make that association much too quickly and it upsets me. Pro-Domming is a business arrangement. You pay this for this amount of time. Period. Financial Domination, REALLY, is just another dimension of enslavement. And, with a "RESPONSIBLE" Owner, it is just another part of one's enslavement. It is just another means for reminding him he can not leave, buck up, or just decide he wants to have temper tantrum only to regret it later. Now, that said, Financial Domination is an aspect of Domination whereby the finances are turned over the Domanat for their management. And, a real lifetyle person with the proper training and mentorship, will always leave you better of when you part than when you came. Not to say they don't take their share, just like any other financeial advisor. BUT, they will make sure your portfolio is in better shape when you leave, than when you arrived. Anything is NOT considered Financial Domination but, rather, more of a scam. And, you're the sucker. If you are truly interested in "enslavement," you should consider this as a very viable form of enslaving you. I mean, how far are you going on 5 bucks? Hummmmmmmmmmmmm? However, this DOES take time and trust to evolve. On the other hand, it can give one the ultimate feeling of ensalve ment.

MissSCD -> RE: Financial Domination (6/29/2008 7:29:32 PM)
For a sub/slave to pursue a Financial Domme in my opinion is completely within the realm of this lifestyle. It doesn't mean a sub/slave cannot manage money. It could be there is not a Domme in that area that is available. *As he mentioned in his post, he does like the power exchange involved with the money part.* *Since the money seems to be the actual kink, then no negotiating fees Just be real sure the Pro_Domme knows what she is doing.* *A friend of a friend of mine sent a girl to flog a male, and she has no clue as to what she is doing. He is paying her.* *Some states may see that as sex offender laws as well. There is a whole lot to think about when using a Pro; however, the Domme has to do what the sub wants for him to return to her as a client.* *Normal Dommes do not play that one. I think that the OP has a fetish for prostitutes as well.* *Just my opinion.* *Regards, MissSCD*

tsatske -> RE: Financial Domination (6/30/2008 10:38:38 AM)
Hi, Miss SCD. quote: I think that the OP has a fetish for prostitutes as well. Just my opinion. Okay, LOL. I have never even considered the possiblility of paying a prostitute, myself. What I have is absolutely zero problem with proffesional sex workers of any kind, they provide a service, for an agreed on price, and they should be honored by our society, instead of pushed into the dark corners where their trade becomes dangerous. The way we treat sex workers in our society is a crying shame. That said - a ProDomme is a sex worker, and that is a fine, honorable thing. A Domme insisting on Tributes of any type, may be a pro, might be a lifestyle Domme who incorperates that into her Kink. A Domme controlling money for her sub, as was discussed at leagnth here, is a very good thing, as well. A Domme demanding money, not as a negoated price, not to care for her sub or depen slavery, not as a reasonable tribute - but to simply bleed a sub for money, which is what i was asking about - is none of those things. So, while I don't have a problem with prostitues, niether do i have a fetish. I am too subbie for a prostitute, and you just don't see alot of pro Male Doms around. with a prostitute, i never figured out how to be sure they were really into women, much less into me personally, or just into the money. There is nothing wrong with that, but i personally do not like having sex with anyone unless they really, really WANT to be having sex with me, so i couldn't see how it would work, for me.

BoiJen -> RE: Financial Domination (6/30/2008 4:20:44 PM)
To the OP...Fin. Domination isn't always about being bled dry. Sometimes it's about feeling that thing that people keep closest to them in this word being under someone else's control...money. That's hot. I get that. I also happen to be a tax preparer and the financial coordinator on MsK's household...I'm going to school shortly and in a few short years will be making something along the 100K/year range with a PhD. I plot and plan with glee about how "my money" will support Her through Her retirement and if She decides to have children...their school. This excites me to no end. And all in the name of making Her life easier. Does this mean I'm being bled dry? Well maybe...I'd like to think thee'd be plenty enough to go around and yet in an economic recession we all feel the clutch of life on the purse strings. To MissSCD (I'm an asshole I know!) you should really get off your kick on calling Professionals Dommes prostitutes. Really your ignorance of the subject only shows more and more when you talk about things you have no clue on. For example...Pro Dommes: Client's kinks MUST fit within the Pro's boundaries and perferably within Her kinks. And if you happen to think that Pro's won't keep their boundaries because money is involved...mostly I think that's because YOU wouldn't keep your boundaries if money was involved. Such weak willed individuals such as yourself forget that others have not only boundaries they maintain no matter what, they also have the cunning and wonderful ability to do what it is they love to do. Jealousy sucks and only makes your ugly. Curb it please. Boi Who's fuckin tired of the Pro bashing bitches (men and women). Don't like it don't comment.

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Financial Domination (6/30/2008 4:28:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tsatske But, the thing with financail dommination is, it is open ended. the more you get bled for, the better, right? Not necesarily. Fox and I play at financial domination. I never take a penny from him, without asking. However, I have his credit card on my keychain, and it is with me all the time. I have his pin number and his checking account numbers written down and in my wallet. I have the ABILITY to take anything I want from him whenever I want to. He has no control over if I do or not, even if he is farily sure I wont. I doubt negotiating with a pro for financial domination would be quite the same, the thing the boys into it like is the air of force behind it. Pay up or else type stuff DV

tsatske -> RE: Financial Domination (6/30/2008 7:37:31 PM)
To Jen and DV, after starting this thread, i am wishing there were differant words for the differant things. What you are both talking about is money sharing in a relationship, which is normal, lifestyle or vanilla. What you are talking about is power exchanging inside of that, which is normal, in BDSM. You are also talking about caring for the people you share that connection with - caring for your sub, caring for your Dominant. As I said, Master controls any money I make, I beg for my allowance each week. I rather like that. I am specificlly talking about Dominants who are looking for, as one person termed it, 'money pigs.' Not just the language - if your Dominant retires, BoiJen, and thereafter refers to you as her 'moneypig', and that turns you both on, great. But, in real life, if you were hurt and had to go on disability for a year or so, and your income dwindled, chances are, she isn't going to threaten to break up with you if you don't hand over the money she is used to, she isn't going to tell you she doesn't care if you can afford your meds, she needs a pedicure, ect. because she cares for you. What I was actually saying is, for those who find that kind of thing hot - maybe they would do well to subvert it into exactly the kind of thing you are talking about. Get their fantasy fairly close to being fulfilled, without ending up with their car repossesed. Use some of the language - maybe some roleplay if they want - while remaining safe. I simply pointed out that, for someone who found money usery fantasy hot, but who was not in a relationship with someone and so had no one to do those things with, a ProDomme might be a good solution - they could structure their session so that the turnover of the Tribute was done in a role playing manner, so they felt their fantasy being fulfilled, while still remaining solvent, and ending up spending only the agreed on amount. Although I do serriously belive the poster that said that many Pro and Phone Dommes find that most of those with money pig fantasies are the ones who really, really don't even want to pay - just don't want to let go of the money. For them, just a hot fantasy.

MistressSybella -> RE: Financial Domination (6/30/2008 8:37:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha I have a theory.... That said, I think the reason some men are into the idea of financial domination is because they associate wealth with power, and they see it as a form of exploitation. Akasha Awesome, and food for thought, Akasha. Thank you! :)

Skully7000 -> RE: Financial Domination (6/30/2008 10:02:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha quote: ORIGINAL: MistressSybella This is an area under our BDSM umbrella that I have never understood. For someone to want to be financially used, as a kink, where does that come from? What about that makes them tick? Can someone who is into being a moneyslave explain this to me? Miss 'Bella I have a theory, based on talking to a few submissives who were into the fantasy back when I used to do phone domination on a regular basis. I never got into a longterm arrangement with any of them because I found them to be incredibly flakey and of all the fetishists, easily the most high maintenance and demanding. They were a huge waste of time and I found it impossible to get into the erotic elements of it in any way that made it enjoyable from a femdom POV. That said, I think the reason some men are into the idea of financial domination is because they associate wealth with power, and they see it as a form of exploitation. There is something incredibly sexy about a woman that will bleed you dry of your money and spoil herself (making herself more beautiful, desirable, sexy) and leave you (the submissive) penniless, poor, exploited. I think there are many men (non kinky) that get a charge out of "spoiling" their ladies, and this kink is a perversion of that ideal - they feel powerful and powerless at the same time because a woman is using their money while they are helpless to do anything about it. But the reality is that like many fetishes it begins and ends with the orgasm. "Money pigs" will rattle on endlessly about how they want to be used, but when it comes down to it, their erotic passion for money makes them the type to rarely separate themselves from their cash. Sure, it was hot to talk about it, but the process of actually sending the money isn't part of the deal - it's just what they want to do. Many men have contacted me via my web site with all kinds of elaborate offers of buying materialistic crap in exchange for domination, but the reality is that as soon as they shoot the load, they realize they were being foolish. The fact that they have an erotic fantasy wrapped up in their money also means they have ego and pride wrapped into their wallet, and they are not going to be parted with it -- sure, they will talk about it though and want to know what you, the femdom, will do with their monies. That's where it ends though. I would always tell financial "slaves" that I had no interest in telling them what I would do with all the money and gifts they promised - they could just kindly pay the amount of money, no more no less, for the alloted time to discuss their fantasy. They wanted to be "milked" financially and obviously lots of women get excited about this prospect and will waste tons of time exploring the idea with them, then surely they are sad when the big package of cold hard cash does not arrive. Most pros are way too savvy for this -- I bet many who work as legit pro femdoms will tell you that these "financial subs" are the biggest blo-hards and time wasters who call up and say they are going to hand over lots of money but never show up. That's my theory on the whole thing. It's easily the least enjoyable fetish (from a femdom POV) for me, I think lots of women think "oh, cool, a man sends you gifts - what could be bad about that?" but these are men who pinch every penny and are very hot and cold with it, so it's just not worth the drama. I think most pay-for-play femdoms would opt for a sure thing exchange of money for services and spend their dollars on whatever they want, not be indebted to a man's fantasy to indulge his cash in the manner he finds most erotic - if his hardon lasts long enough to put the money on the table. Akasha as a generalization(not a rule) I completely agree with you. the only thing I will add: "Many men have contacted me via my web site with all kinds of elaborate offers of buying materialistic crap in exchange for domination, but the reality is that as soon as they shoot the load, they realize they were being foolish." while that is a definite reality...I also believe that many of the men who offer to buy gifts do so because they are wrestling with the guilt of paying for companionship... they would rather buy you a $200dollar gift as a pre-emptive thank you, rather then just give you 200 for spending an hour with them. but then again...with this "group" they are already wrestling with their ego/pride about paying for companionship...and Lying to themselves just doesn't cut it which is why they are more flakey...in the end they realize that 200 is 200 doesn't matter if its a gift or cash. another point with money slaves: (good and bad) its sometimes easier to pay for certain things on a company card... dinner buying drinks at events and such so they can flash a bit more money and not have it hit their own pocket alternately its harder to have a money domme when you have a wife or boss who can see the expense reports. where as its sometimes easier to siphon off some cash from your normal expenses and next thing you know you ahve the 200-500 cash for sessions. Cheers Skully

SpiderInWaiting -> RE: Financial Domination (7/1/2008 12:15:15 AM)
It sounds like you are equating paying a pro domme with financial domination. They are not the same thing. Paying a pro domme is nothing more than paying for a service. Financial domination is a kink but it is also about power exchange. The slave isn't paying to play, the pay is the play. As far as a slave being "bled" for money is not quite an accurate statement. No one gives up anything if some sort of satisfaction doesn't come of it. The slave having a woman controlling him financially by providing a credit card, giving up control of bank accounts, etc. is feeling a satisfaction of being controlled and/or giving something to his Owner. This doesn't mean that the slave is unable to manage his finances or is irresponsible and needs to have someone tell him what to do with his money. As far as money slaves being fakes or flakes, there will always be guys online who will promise the moon but won't deliver so much as an ordinary rock while others are genuine and stand by their word. This is as true for financial slaves as any other slaves. Because finanical domination is a little more demanding mentally than the standard bdsm faire (flogging, spanking, bondage, etc.) the slaves will be more apprehensive about who they submit their finances to. If a woman really does want to be a financial domme and control her slave this way then she should be ready to put the work into the relationship that it takes to have that much control over a slave. With financial domination like any other sort of play it's a really good idea to be able to trust the person you are playing with.

NormalOutside -> RE: Financial Domination (7/1/2008 12:16:38 AM)
The line between domination and abuse seems easiest to cross when there's money or valuable gifts on the other side.

SpiderInWaiting -> RE: Financial Domination (7/1/2008 12:30:10 AM)
From what I have seen in the past, the ones who abuse slaves financially and call it financial domination never had any intention of actually being a domme. There is a big difference between a real financial domme and someone that is nothing more than a scam artist or a lazy whore. Unfortunately in bdsm there are thousands of ways for both dommes and subs to be abused and taken advantage of :( Some are more obvious than others.

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