D/s and Chat (Full Version)

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uquestions -> D/s and Chat (6/29/2008 4:07:12 PM)

Please forgive me if I am posting this in the wrong place but I was unable to find a more appropriate one. I would like to begin a broad, deep, and ongoing discussion about the philosophy, dynamics, and functions of chat rooms in D/s, BDSM, and The Lifestyle. In some ways D/s chat rooms are like any others. However the overlay of interpersonal dynamics unique to D/s does create some differences. Does anyone else have any interest in exploring and discussing these differences?



LadyPact -> RE: D/s and Chat (6/29/2008 4:17:37 PM)

This is the part where I'm going to just step out of the way and allow LA to come along and be gracious enough to provide all of the links to those threads that relate to how the lifestyle has been influence by the net and chatrooms.



Lumus -> RE: D/s and Chat (6/29/2008 5:33:55 PM)

To be blunt, I've never found much of a difference in a D/s chat room compared to non-D/s.  Chat rooms have only left an unpleasant taste in my mouth.  Now, it could be where I went; it could be how I perceived it.

In general, I find quotations or truisms spouted off, not philosophy; I have found the dynamics of conversation to revolve around prefabricated protocols, or loose chatter that has little to do with the designation of the room; and the functions were often preceded with the letters dys-.

Mind you - this is just how I personally interpret what I've experienced...and yes, I've seen it in both D/s and non-D/s chat rooms, chatters, talkers.  To the OP:  what positive experiences have you walked away from in either form of chat room, out of curiosity?




peppermint -> RE: D/s and Chat (6/29/2008 5:53:27 PM)

If you haven't already read A Different Loving by William and Gloria Brame you might be interested in doing so.  The interviews were done with people who were members of CompuServe's adult chat forums. 



BRNaughtyAngel -> RE: D/s and Chat (6/29/2008 5:55:48 PM)

I chat pretty regularly in the South chat room over on alt.com.  Many of us who chat there know each other in real life.  The occasional guy will come in there trying to be all smooth and woo the ladies, and most of them just ignore them.  "Male subs" will sometimes come in there and fawn all over any dominant females in the room.

We have had a number of males and females who have gotten to know those of us who are active in our local BDSM club, RSVP, in the chat room and have come to munches, and after approval to parties.  They came because they felt a little more comfy coming out when they at least knew people to look for. 

There's some "virtual" flirting and such in there, but for the most part it's just social time.  And yes, there is drama just like in the real world, because quite often real world drama spills over into the cyber world.

I'm sure there are plenty of people who get their warm fuzzies or wet wankies from online domination and submission, and I'm all about doing whatever floats your boat.  But when it comes down to it, there is no comparison to real life D/s relationships and BDSM activities, IMO.



DesFIP -> RE: D/s and Chat (6/29/2008 7:01:36 PM)

I'm with Lumus. I don't find any difference between a d/s chat room and a gardening one except for the topics discussed.



peregrinekane -> RE: D/s and Chat (6/29/2008 7:55:08 PM)

I have spent far too much time in chat rooms, enough to know that there are definitely differences between most vanilla rooms and most D/s rooms. The presence or absence of moderators also seems to make a difference. And when the moderators are or claim to be dominant, the picture changes even more.

I really do not want to discuss online D/s vs. "real life" D/s except as a function of the need for some people to bring the subject up far too often.

I am actually familiar with the South Room on alt.com. It is one of two or three unmoderated D/s chat rooms in which i have spent a great deal of time and will largely be the room to which i am referring when i discuss the dynamics of such rooms.



LadyPact -> RE: D/s and Chat (6/29/2008 7:59:01 PM)

Should be interesting then, since that's also the room I chat in on occasion.



Leatherist -> RE: D/s and Chat (6/29/2008 7:59:14 PM)

Not really. Most seem to be about a bunch of bratty subs behaving like six year olds.



peregrinekane -> RE: D/s and Chat (6/29/2008 8:01:39 PM)

While i am very interested in links to other discussions, i still believe there will be new ground to cover.



WarriorsGirl -> RE: D/s and Chat (6/29/2008 8:04:26 PM)

I've been in plenty of chat rooms, but only wound up on a D/s one once and I don't even remember how.  (Possibly a link from collarme?)  Anyway - I hated it.  I had to ask permission and I had to use lowercase and it was just intimidating.  And silly.



peregrinekane -> RE: D/s and Chat (6/29/2008 8:07:45 PM)

My apologies but i seem to have lost the point to which your post is addressed. Could you possibly expand a bit?



joyinslavery -> RE: D/s and Chat (6/29/2008 8:09:38 PM)

New ground to cover?  I'd rethink that. 

Really. 

Have fun. 



peregrinekane -> RE: D/s and Chat (6/29/2008 8:11:37 PM)

Actually the need for, insistence on, and inconsistency of protocols in room is part of what i would like to explore. 



Leatherist -> RE: D/s and Chat (6/29/2008 8:15:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: peregrinekane

My apologies but i seem to have lost the point to which your post is addressed. Could you possibly expand a bit?


Go into most chat rooms, and you will find people trolling for attention and cybering. Most of the more serious dicusion rooms tend to be with real life people involved. The play happens in real life-and they have no need of it there-they would rather talk about other things.

And most of the rules and protcols have to do with keeping the cyber trollers and nutcases from distracting from that. I did ops in a bcom city channel in the late nineties for a few years. I got tired of booting and banning jerks after a while. People don't pull that shit in real life-knowing you can bitch slap them into next week for doing it.



peregrinekane -> RE: D/s and Chat (6/29/2008 8:25:21 PM)

So rules and protocols are necessary to deter trolls (for which differing definitions exist) and anyone who might somehow detract from discussions of real life D/s?



Leatherist -> RE: D/s and Chat (6/29/2008 8:30:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: peregrinekane

So rules and protocols are necessary to deter trolls (for which differing definitions exist) and anyone who might somehow detract from discussions of real life D/s?


It seems to be the case on larger servers. Male Doms and subs trolling for cybersex seem to be the worst offenders. Think "denser than lead", and you will get the gist of it.



Lumus -> RE: D/s and Chat (6/29/2008 8:33:52 PM)

As one who helped run several sites, I'll say this...rules are put in by humans with their own agendas.  The agenda is not always the common good; sometimes, it's self-serving.

So, protocols mean nothing without being put in context of the powers who placed them...and these powers are imperfect.  Meaning - protocol is subjective, and questioning the motivations of such will only lead to personal conflicts on what is right and wrong.  There is no winning model here without falling back on idealism.



peregrinekane -> RE: D/s and Chat (6/29/2008 8:36:31 PM)

So questioning rules and protocols will always lead to self-destruction?



Lumus -> RE: D/s and Chat (6/29/2008 8:38:25 PM)

It depends on the rigidity of the enforcement of said protocol.

Ask God, "Why?" enough and a lightning bolt will likely strike thine ass.




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