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RE: Respect? - 11/9/2005 4:04:30 PM   
KittenWithaTwist


Posts: 490
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		I tend to be even more polite to people in public or at family functions than I would at home with my Master, because I'm a reflection of him. He expects me to be nice and well-mannered at all times, and if I'm in a bind, to keep tabs on my dirty mouth, and try to be pleasant while being assertive. In chat rooms, I'm flirtatious and silly, but ultimately respectful of others. In chat rooms, my dominant considers my behavior less important, simply because it's online and it's not a big deal to either of us. But since I'm not an outright rude person, I am generally nice.

Have I seen people bad mouth their owners? Sure.
Do I condone it? No. I feel that one should be even more respectful without their owner present, though online I don't see this as a necessity.
Have I done it? No.

_____________________________

"Time travel: It's a cornocopia of disturbing concepts." ~Ron Stoppable

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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Respect? - 11/9/2005 10:59:42 PM   
submissivesilk


Posts: 154
Joined: 1/30/2005
Status: offline 		A wise man said to me that it is very important to have someone to talk to. Someone who knows all about your life and what you do in it. Someone you could tell anything and everything too. No, i'm not talking about your Master or Dom. He meant someone outside of the circle, but someone who knows the dynamic. This way, when you need someone to vent too, you have them.

i'm very lucky. i have a younger sisters who is totally open minded even though she would be considered vanilla. i know that i can tell her anything and she will listen without judging. i couldn't do this with my mom lol.

my Master is a wonderful man, but He is simply a man. He makes mistakes at times. i would never ever think to disrespect Him in any way, but i have cried on my sisters shoulder at times.

Perhaps these subs/slaves who are doing the bad mouthing don't have this luxury, someone to vent too. Maybe it is their way to vent.



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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Respect? - 11/9/2005 11:45:43 PM   
brightspot


Posts: 3052
Status: offline
quote:

So i guess my question is, have you seen this happen? What is your reaction to it? Do you feel that the respect shown should be the same regardless of if you're standing in front of Him/Her or online where your comments will never be discovered? Have you ever disrespected your Master/Mistress while not in His/Her presence?


No, I don't see this happening to often here on the boards, I don't frequent chat rooms and I really don't discuss really personal things about my Domina and I.
If I find something of discord between MsN and myself, I certainly
would never discuss it on the boards here or worse yet a chat room.

*Brightspot

_____________________________

"Comedy is NOT Pretty!" ~Peter Nelson

But..."May at Least One person have a sense of Humor!" ~KML.

http://360.yahoo.com/my_profile-TD4TwEw8crWS3GHFDcs_DK1rHmW6Dq_E;_ylt=Av2PfG9gH0wkQrMPivuMCivGAOJ3

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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Respect? - 11/11/2005 4:45:32 AM   
littlesassy


Posts: 3
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		i agree

< Message edited by littlesassy -- 11/11/2005 4:47:17 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Respect? - 11/11/2005 4:49:12 AM   
Dracironsgirl


Posts: 175
Joined: 7/2/2005
Status: offline 		respect is very important to me, i too feel as You about disrespecting their Masters, to me, respect should always be given to Master no question, isnt't that a big part of bdsm or suppost to be ? thank You for Your post Sir.
~kristin

_____________________________

~love a Man in control~

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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Respect? - 11/11/2005 8:23:25 AM   
plantlady64


Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline 		Hello There,
I personally have only once in my 8 month journey in kink heard a sub/slave complain like you state here. I don't think in real life situations it's very common.
I do see your point about the comment this sub/slave made and agree it was not a pleasant thing to say to someone else about her Master. I think if she'd just said how she felt directly to her Master that would have been OK though.
I think to play devils advocate I should say that there are things I have to do that may not be a thing I like. My Master knowing the truth about what I think and feel vs how I behave are very different things though. I think we all have thoughts about not liking something we are asked, but it's what we think. I don't think controlling our thoughts is necessary. I think how we act or don't act on them decides our devotion. He allows me to have my own thoughts knowing often times I have to go against what I think or agree with to comply with his wants.
I may very well at times think What an ASS!! Or OMG he wants me to do what?, but overall I still follow his requests to the letter.
For lots of us to think these things isn't disrespectful unless we act on them. My Master actually likes when I have to push myself to comply with a request he knows pisses me off. To him this proves my submission to him is complete.
Besides if I hid what I think and how I feel just because those thoughts are not very sub/slave like thoughts I think that would be a much bigger infraction. I am an open book; nothing I have, think, or feel is kept private from my Master as I belong to him fully. I think to say what you think and feel honestly is a huge requirement of my job as his slave. How I act on those thoughts or feelings to me is what decides if I am respectful or not.
I'd also like to say I have never thought of hitting my Master or retaliating against his directions or decisions. There have been many times I just had to roll my eyes and agree feeling what he desired was silly or fruitless, but overall I do what he says with no argument.

I'd also like to say you have to consider not every Master has his act together and those that are out there Master Bashing my be justified if their Master is indeed a wanna be loser fake immature Master.
I think you'd have to know the couple to decide if it's disrespectful or justified.

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Respect? - 11/12/2005 2:23:17 PM   
Hissweetshiv


Posts: 200
Joined: 6/24/2005
Status: offline 		Yes, i've seen this happen all too often. How do i respond? I usually don't. Any reaction is kept to myself - i might shake my head but on the whole i find that these women are usually rank amateurs as far as any lifestyle activities are concerned - if they're involved at all in anything of the sort. They'll learn - or be caught, lol.
I must disagree with the seemingly common opinion that nobody in a chatroom ever has real life experience. The chatroom i frequent on Yahoo is a group of people, many of whom know each other in real life, who are really involved in real life BDSM relationships. Yes, we get our share of players and liars through, but their true colors always show through before long and the core group just shrugs them off and continues with their (our) lives. We may be a rare group, but there are others out there like us, honest! lol

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Respect? - 11/13/2005 2:59:12 PM   
justjenn


Posts: 9
Joined: 10/30/2005
Status: offline 		I think the thing to take into consideration is that most people who use chat rooms do not consider them "real life" - because they aren't. There could have been many things going on.

Although I don't see myself doing it, I could understand how someone could look at it as a "chance to vent", fully believing that since their Master wasn't around and wasn't going to see it, it was a "harmless" crime. It's also possible that her Master logs all of her conversations and she knew by saying something that she was going to get caught. And perhaps that is something that they've agreed to ahead of time. Or maybe she felt that the room was full of sympathetic ears and didn't consider it "public".

There are as many possible scenarios behind that as there are D/s couples with access to computers.

And as personally distasteful as I find the thought of disrespecting my Master, I really have to shrug and say that it is not MY place to judge someone else without fully understanding their relationship, and trust that her Dominant/Master/Whatever will deal with the situation in an appropriate way at the appropriate time.

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Respect? - 11/16/2005 8:00:53 PM   
Dracironsgirl


Posts: 175
Joined: 7/2/2005
Status: offline 		i totally agree with you on this ...i also have had this happen to me and it makes me ill.

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~love a Man in control~

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Respect? - 11/16/2005 8:31:58 PM   
DougDammitt


Posts: 13
Joined: 8/26/2005
Status: offline 		Points to consider regarding respect...

We are in a website that caters to a specific community. Therefore, all things being equal, an individual actively participating in this community is who they say they are until proven not to be. Acts of showing no respect or acts of being discourteous are various forms of disrespect. That being said, respect for an individual, be they Dom or sub/slave, is and always will be earned.

The above is the result of a pleasant email exchange with a 'sub' who felt I was harsh in a journal entry of mine. I observed that some members who claim to be sub/slave tend to be disrespectful with no cause. Doesn't it make you miss the good 'ole days? Aah, for a switch and a woodshed.


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"Where ever I sit is the head of the table."

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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Respect? - 11/16/2005 10:07:17 PM   
cravinspankin


Posts: 127
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline 		in ANY relationship, vanilla or this lifestyle, i believe it's wrong to disparage, criticize, or belittle the other person in front of others, whether they are in the room or not, and talking about their Master in this way is to me doing just that.
If i found his behavior/actions/punishments, etc. so unacceptable, I would have to think seriously about ending the relationship

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Respect? - 11/22/2005 6:41:37 PM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

Got a bit depressing when you would see clueless people heading for the sub sofa.
Whatever the hell that is.



The subby couch is cyber furniture subs sit on. well pretend to rather, It's like a comunity gathering spot but for the subs who pretend to sit there lol I have no idea why any one sub or not feels the need to invent fake furniture to sit on, but it's quite common in chat rooms, To see someone either sitting on as ubby couch or doms on throwns lol

< Message edited by FelinePersuasion -- 11/22/2005 6:46:29 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Respect? - 11/22/2005 6:56:14 PM   
veronicaofML


Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline 		That being said, respect for an individual, be they Dom or sub/slave, is and always will be earned.

------------
too bad SOME of the folks HERE feel they are ENTITLED to it.......
and i just laugh at em. ya growl at me........i growl back. ya talk nice to me and EXPLAIN where ya think i screwed up..........ya got MY respect.......but sadly far too many here and in chats think themselves ALMIGHTY.
take care


_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"



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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Respect? - 11/22/2005 7:21:04 PM   
girl4you2


Posts: 1622
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DougDammitt

Points to consider regarding respect...

We are in a website that caters to a specific community. Therefore, all things being equal, an individual actively participating in this community is who they say they are until proven not to be. Acts of showing no respect or acts of being discourteous are various forms of disrespect. That being said, respect for an individual, be they Dom or sub/slave, is and always will be earned.

The above is the result of a pleasant email exchange with a 'sub' who felt I was harsh in a journal entry of mine. I observed that some members who claim to be sub/slave tend to be disrespectful with no cause. Doesn't it make you miss the good 'ole days? Aah, for a switch and a woodshed.


just because someone has a name and is on a public website does not give them a security clearance, nor does it ensure that they are anything other than a name. who is to say that an individual is "actively participating in" this community and what are the prerequistes for this? registration? 5 posts on the boards? two emails to one person?

respect, if genuine, is a significant thing, not to be tossed around lightly. a switch and a woodshed didn't really shed much different light on this, other than perhaps manners. people are people. manners are not the same as calling someone by a term that should not be given lightly, else what meaning does it have? "yes, sir" and "no, maam" were taught to me as a polite way to refer to elders. but do call a dominant by anything resembling "Master" isn't a polite reference to me. just my ideas.

i wish you well.

_____________________________

maireann croí éadrom i bhfad. is maith an scáthán súil charad. is leor nod don eolach.
got shoes?

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Profile   Post #: 34
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