What's te Payoff? What's the Cost? (Full Version)

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candystripper -> What's te Payoff? What's the Cost? (6/30/2008 1:09:00 PM)

There have always been friendships on the boards -- seems natural to me.  Just as there have always been antagonists; people who rub each other the wrong way.
 
But this time when I returned to the boards I found a new phenom -- people who have formed a clique, who chase each other around giving each other high fives, posting about r/l meetings (which I suspend judgment on), etc.
 
This clique seems to feel its reason for existing is to run the boards.  We have Mods for that -- why the need to add yoursleves en masse to the 'board authorities'?
 
I very much doubt that anyone in the clique will reexamine their conduct, etc., because of anything I've said, but IMO they detract from the quality of the boards.  They interrupt intelligent convos to post 'I like him' or 'I don't like her'; they take up bandwidth with the string of 'group hug' style of posts; they distract people from the Op; they discourage people from attempting to carry on an intelligent convo.
 
Why the need to bleat 'approval' of members of the clique?
 
Why the need to 'broadcast' anything happening (allegedly) in real life?
 
What's the payoff?
 
candystripper




sappatoti -> RE: What's te Payoff? What's the Cost? (6/30/2008 1:17:48 PM)

If my perspective means anything, I'm not seeing anything different here that I haven't seen on other boards, whether they be web-based discussions prevalent today, FidoNet-ted message exchanges that existed in the early '80s, or interactive talk sessions taking place on the PDP mini-frames of the mid to late '70s (and probably earlier than that).

People are people. Whether they are meeting in a physical, face-to-face setting or online, people are going to act like people. The rules of engagement are no different.

You, as a reader, can either remove the emotion from what you read, like you might do while listening/watching people in real life, or not. The choice is yours.

As to the payoff... what's the payoff for human interactions in the real, physical world?




parttimehotty -> RE: What's te Payoff? What's the Cost? (6/30/2008 1:18:01 PM)

The payoff for us is probably different than it is for you......................we're actually INTERESTED in what we have to say to each other........you on the other hand...............[sm=AttentionWhore.gif]




sirsholly -> RE: What's te Payoff? What's the Cost? (6/30/2008 1:41:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

 
Why the need to 'broadcast' anything happening (allegedly) in real life?


[8|]




CalifChick -> RE: What's te Payoff? What's the Cost? (6/30/2008 2:19:08 PM)

Wow, I hope that's not an alleged plane ticket I bought.  It's gonna suck big time when I attempt to allegedly go to Florida for my alleged vacation.

Cali




christine1 -> RE: What's te Payoff? What's the Cost? (6/30/2008 2:20:13 PM)

OP, i give a high five to my friends here who have made a damned good post.  i do have friends here...i talk to them and joke around with them.  it is human interaction and it is ok..nothing wrong with it.  maybe i don't understand the point of your post.




sub4hire -> RE: What's te Payoff? What's the Cost? (6/30/2008 2:40:22 PM)

I've met several from the boards.  Some I still talk to, others I do not.  Do I have a list of people I'd like to meet, sure.  They know who they are.  Although I've always found cliques childish even as a child.
You close yourself off from so many good people when you do that.  Why should I limit myself?  Why can't I have it all?

Unfortunately there are always going to be people who have nothing of any value to add so they try to hijack posts...you see it every day here.
Some people just like to hear or in this case read what they have to say.





Twstdkinkerbell -> RE: What's te Payoff? What's the Cost? (6/30/2008 2:57:17 PM)

OP..
I really have to feel sorry that you feel so disgruntled about true friendships and meetings outside of this forum.  I too have met many people off, some good some bad.  Posting their excitement about meeting and what happened after they met is merely an expression of THEIR feelings. 
You, yourself admit that you are just coming back to the boards.  Maybe instead of passing judgment against the ones you feel are in a clique, maybe taking the time to be nice and getting involved in their posts. 
I do not know you other then a few posts I have seen as of recent.  Based on this post I hope you can find some level of happiness here in the forums, or maybe consider finding another medium.
TK





fluffyswitch -> RE: What's te Payoff? What's the Cost? (6/30/2008 3:00:48 PM)

it's just the way the boards work, the same way that any other groups work. it used to bother me, now i just don't care. i would rather see people happy than miserable. personally i just keep talking and eventually someone will like me, lol, but i don't seek approval from any group of people or really care what people i don't know off the boards do when they're together. shrug. but i think i'm just cranky today.

i have to agree with sub4hire though the only time it gets to me is when thread get jacked because a group does or does not like what's being said. but meh. it's just a message board.




candystripper -> RE: What's te Payoff? What's the Cost? (6/30/2008 3:20:00 PM)

I am more like sub4hire -- I never did feel attracted to cliques.
 
I agree too that hijacking is annoying.
 
There is a forum for discussions about meeting people real time.  It's called 'Postive Experiences' and its on the 'Introductions' board.  Posting an Op or post where it doesn't belong is annying, IMO.
 
Perhaps it's just a cycle and it will pass, as all things seem to do.
 
I still don't see anyone explaining what the payoff is, though. 
 
I admit I'm nosey.  I'd still like to know.
 
candystripper
 
 




fluffyswitch -> RE: What's te Payoff? What's the Cost? (6/30/2008 3:25:09 PM)

i think that the pay off for the people who do it (and i admit i've done it a couple of times as well and on rare occasions been referred to as a cool kid though why i have no idea) is that it's a matter of acceptance. popularity among people you like and respect makes you feel better than being ignored. and gaining that label of 'respected' can feel good too.




Mercnbeth -> RE: What's te Payoff? What's the Cost? (6/30/2008 3:36:12 PM)

Most 'cliques' are perception and a matter of lacking confidence. Approval or disapproval - is bullshit; like starting 10 threads asking the same question 10 different ways until phrasing it to generate a response that makes your head bob. Does that generate any fulfillment?  
quote:

Why the need to 'broadcast' anything happening (allegedly) in real life?

I'd wonder why the need to broadcast anything happening in cyber-world and NOT in real life. Wait - I know, the need is to eliminate that 'vanilla cone' and get another paddle - right?

Only one person, from too many to count that we've met in real life, from CM was someone whose company I would not seek out again. Yet I still value those meetings and that person more than any of the caricature images presented on this or any other cyber forum. Sure I'd enjoy meeting everyone but until I do so, I'm very skeptical that they'll be the same as the person and personality they present on the internet.

As I've often said; if CM or any internet site impacts you negatively it is time to 'clique' off and step away from the computer. Being 'run off' a cyber board speaks to some deficiency that goes much deeper than your views of what is "intelligent convos" and what isn't. 
quote:

What's the payoff?

What's yours as you infer that broadcasting what occurs in real life isn't something you care to hear about?

To answer your question as far as we are concerned; the payoff is the company of people. Considering it "broadcasting" but we were in the company of about 25 of them at our house on Saturday. Their payoff for them may have been as simple as now knowing for sure whether beth is actually a 275 pound bald, 5'5", 54 year old guy, or the person pictured with me on our profile pictures. "Allegedly" they all had a great time, and so did beth and I. We can't wait for the next "payoff".

How does that compare to your next Internet induced "payoff"?




LadyHibiscus -> RE: What's te Payoff? What's the Cost? (6/30/2008 3:38:54 PM)

There are cliques here?  Dang.  No one tells me anything. [8|]

I talk to my friends because, they're my FRIENDS.  And hey!  Just because I saw some of them this past weekend, why can't I talk to them here too? 




CalifChick -> RE: What's te Payoff? What's the Cost? (6/30/2008 3:39:50 PM)

Sometimes Merc says things that just make your panties fall right off.

Cali




LadyHibiscus -> RE: What's te Payoff? What's the Cost? (6/30/2008 3:41:49 PM)

Aw c'mon, isn't that pretty much everything he says?  [8D]




sirsholly -> RE: What's te Payoff? What's the Cost? (6/30/2008 3:42:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Sometimes Merc says things that just make your panties fall right off.

Cali



<<<<<<wishes Cali would just admit she goes commando...




fluffyswitch -> RE: What's te Payoff? What's the Cost? (6/30/2008 3:46:50 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Sometimes Merc says things that just make your panties fall right off.

Cali



<<<<<<wishes Cali would just admit she goes commando...



you mean there are people who don't? damn...




MrRodgers -> RE: What's te Payoff? What's the Cost? (6/30/2008 3:58:42 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

There are cliques here?  Dang.  No one tells me anything. [8|]

I talk to my friends because, they're my FRIENDS.  And hey!  Just because I saw some of them this past weekend, why can't I talk to them here too? 


Me either...
I need to come in from the cold...er heat. I feel as if I am missing something but then again, if didn't notice...I didn't miss it then did I ?




MrRodgers -> RE: What's te Payoff? What's the Cost? (6/30/2008 4:03:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Sometimes Merc says things that just make your panties fall right off.

Cali



See now, I told them all you know, being 99 and from Mars to come on down...earth girls are easy.

Yes, I confess, I lied...I am really 99 and from Mars. No clique for me yet though...cause it will be years before they get here.




Lynnxz -> RE: What's te Payoff? What's the Cost? (6/30/2008 4:16:16 PM)

How dare you guys go around meeting eachother! Wtf!




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