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Why does it matter so much? - 6/30/2008 1:48:52 PM

GabrielleSlave

Posts: 616
Joined: 9/20/2007
From: in servitude
Status: offline

i have just been called a fake for the first time. My first instinct was "Yey, i must be real then!" but then i felt hurt and upset. This so called Dom imparted this valuable opinion of me because i did not swoon when he told me i had to pick him up at the airport and put him up in my home to ensure i was real. i challenged him by saying that i would do no such thing, being an owned slave... and BINGO, he came up with the conclusion that i was a fake.

My problem therefore is not with him, how could it be? It is with my reaction to what he said. i know that what Master and i have is very real, so why on earth should it matter what an idiot in Germany thinks???

Gabrielle x

_____________________________

Slave to Master Slayer

~ Host of the Rather Marvelous Greenwich Munch ~

"There is no such thing as liberty. You only change one sort of domination for another. All we can do is to choose our master."
D. H. Lawrence

Post #: 1

RE: Why does it matter so much? - 6/30/2008 1:53:02 PM

fluffyswitch

Posts: 1108
Joined: 9/29/2007
From: Buffalo
Status: offline

because as someone else pointed out we're all human and humans are social beings. we like being told that other people like us and agree with us. and it hurts when they tell us to our face that they don't.

_____________________________

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” churchill

the first rule of fluff club is that you don't talk about fluff club!

(in reply to GabrielleSlave)

Post #: 2

RE: Why does it matter so much? - 6/30/2008 1:55:04 PM

MsValentine

Posts: 82
Joined: 6/14/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GabrielleSlave

i have just been called a fake for the first time. My first instinct was "Yey, i must be real then!" but then i felt hurt and upset. This so called Dom imparted this valuable opinion of me because i did not swoon when he told me i had to pick him up at the airport and put him up in my home to ensure i was real. i challenged him by saying that i would do no such thing, being an owned slave... and BINGO, he came up with the conclusion that i was a fake.

My problem therefore is not with him, how could it be? It is with my reaction to what he said. i know that what Master and i have is very real, so why on earth should it matter what an idiot in Germany thinks???

Gabrielle x

No one likes to feel misunderstood, even perhaps by someone we don't really care about.

(in reply to GabrielleSlave)

Post #: 3

RE: Why does it matter so much? - 6/30/2008 1:55:07 PM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

Eh try as we might to deny it we are effected by what others say even if its just a small ammount the truth is what we think of outselves is a reflection of how we think others see us. It may feel silly as you dont know the man and yes he was just being an arse but the truth of the matter is even though he was just being nasty because he could and logically we dont think we should care about what people over a screen say the truth is emotions arent always rational and we are effected even if just a tiny bit, even if it is to just be a tad big annoyed that someone that doesnt know you dare pass judgment the truth is we do care what others think and some of us have a deep seaded need for everyone to like us and when they dont it is upsetting (I think personally we all have a bit of this need though it varies in the degree)

MS

< Message edited by MagiksSlave -- 6/30/2008 1:57:15 PM >

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to GabrielleSlave)

Post #: 4

RE: Why does it matter so much? - 6/30/2008 1:55:10 PM

GabrielleSlave

Posts: 616
Joined: 9/20/2007
From: in servitude
Status: offline

Damn this being human thing lol!

Gabrielle x

_____________________________

Slave to Master Slayer

~ Host of the Rather Marvelous Greenwich Munch ~

"There is no such thing as liberty. You only change one sort of domination for another. All we can do is to choose our master."
D. H. Lawrence

(in reply to fluffyswitch)

Post #: 5

RE: Why does it matter so much? - 6/30/2008 1:55:53 PM

StrangerinBlack

Posts: 44
Joined: 4/27/2008
Status: offline

"My problem therefore is not with him, how could it be? It is with my reaction to what he said. i know that what Master and i have is very real, so why on earth should it matter what an idiot in Germany thinks??? "

I think you have answered your own question here. It is because you value the love and connection that you share with you Master, that the sugestion it might be false seems so offensive. We can't control the way we respond to things, but we can look at our responses and learn about ourselves from them. In this case I just think that your responce shows that you are a loving person, and has nothing to do with the German dude at all.

(in reply to GabrielleSlave)

Post #: 6

RE: Why does it matter so much? - 6/30/2008 2:00:02 PM

mrbob726

Posts: 155
Joined: 4/15/2007
From: Illinois
Status: offline

That guy in germany is the FAKE, not you - your only mistake was in answering him in the first place - ignore/block for those types -

_____________________________

"Love many, Trust few, Harm none" (Yau Man, Survivor Fiji)

"If builders built buildings the way some programmers write programs, the first woodpecker to come along would destroy civilization."

(in reply to GabrielleSlave)

Post #: 7

RE: Why does it matter so much? - 6/30/2008 2:01:02 PM

chamberqueen

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline

Hey, I'm proud of you for sticking by what you knew was right. Give yourself a big hug for that. : )

_____________________________

(in reply to StrangerinBlack)

Post #: 8

RE: Why does it matter so much? - 6/30/2008 2:01:02 PM

GabrielleSlave

Posts: 616
Joined: 9/20/2007
From: in servitude
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: StrangerinBlack
It is because you value the love and connection that you share with you Master, that the sugestion it might be false seems so offensive. We can't control the way we respond to things, but we can look at our responses and learn about ourselves from them. In this case I just think that your responce shows that you are a loving person, and has nothing to do with the German dude at all.

What a wonderful way of putting it, if i could hug you i would!

You guys have made me feel better already, thankyou!

Gabrielle x

_____________________________

Slave to Master Slayer

~ Host of the Rather Marvelous Greenwich Munch ~

"There is no such thing as liberty. You only change one sort of domination for another. All we can do is to choose our master."
D. H. Lawrence

(in reply to StrangerinBlack)

Post #: 9

RE: Why does it matter so much? - 6/30/2008 2:04:39 PM

TheGaggingWh0re

Posts: 222
Joined: 1/19/2006
Status: offline

No, I understand where you're coming from.

There are certain people who I do not care if they say I am fake, and then there are ones who I'm like, "Wait, what?"

It's heart-breaking because sometimes it comes out of nowhere. I already related this story here, but in the collarme chatrooms my owner and I like to goof around on the cam while I chat in there, and someone called our "play" fakeplay, which made me a little sore and I still feel the sting from it. My owner could give a shit, and I know eventually I won't care. It's just shocking because you know it's not true and you don't want those words to be carried along as if they were the truth.

(in reply to StrangerinBlack)

Post #: 10

RE: Why does it matter so much? - 6/30/2008 2:05:38 PM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

LOL, I love that word 'fake' and I love how it is tossed around on these boreds like real and true even Master and slave all these words are relative and since we are all free to make our own deffenitions of these and determin for ourselvs who fits what catagory each of the lables really have no meaning at all exept in some cases to be insulting.

MS

quote:

ORIGINAL: mrbob726

That guy in germany is the FAKE, not you - your only mistake was in answering him in the first place - ignore/block for those types -

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to mrbob726)

Post #: 11

RE: Why does it matter so much? - 6/30/2008 2:08:16 PM

mrbob726

Posts: 155
Joined: 4/15/2007
From: Illinois
Status: offline

I just calls 'em like I sees 'em

_____________________________

"Love many, Trust few, Harm none" (Yau Man, Survivor Fiji)

"If builders built buildings the way some programmers write programs, the first woodpecker to come along would destroy civilization."

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

Post #: 12

RE: Why does it matter so much? - 6/30/2008 2:20:20 PM

GabrielleSlave

Posts: 616
Joined: 9/20/2007
From: in servitude
Status: offline

Yes labels are just that, meaningless for the most part, except to those to whom it matters. One person's sub is another person's slave etc etc. However, it is primarily the word 'fake' that when it is used is usually intended to inflame and insult. When one does not know the person in question, who are we to judge? i ask this as someone also guilty of making the same assumptions of fakery in a person (but not acting on them!)

Gabrielle x

_____________________________

Slave to Master Slayer

~ Host of the Rather Marvelous Greenwich Munch ~

"There is no such thing as liberty. You only change one sort of domination for another. All we can do is to choose our master."
D. H. Lawrence

(in reply to mrbob726)

Post #: 13

RE: Why does it matter so much? - 6/30/2008 2:24:22 PM

faerytattoodgirl

Posts: 5824
Status: offline

ya go figure...reasons im a fake...according to emails i get..

1)my pics must be fake cause they dont look like a 38 yr old (ok im not 38 till sep) oh and no pics up now till new main one is approved..

2)i dont want a relationship based on sex...dear lord...im no slut!! (cough)

3)im a freak of nature....biologically...

4)my disclaimer has to be on the top of my profile and not the bottom (someone wrote me last night complaining about this like..LOL)

5)i demand pizza and diet pepsi...(the ones that called me fake on this drink diet coke)

_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.

I am flawed.

Imperfect.

MUST SPANK!!!

SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to GabrielleSlave)

Post #: 14

RE: Why does it matter so much? - 6/30/2008 2:54:18 PM

BRNaughtyAngel

Posts: 1821
Status: offline

LA is always saying that you aren't a real slave until someone says you're a fake 5 times.

I keep waiting for my 5 declarations that I am not a real slave. *taps foot impatiently, looks at watch*

I'll be honest, I would be taken aback if someone I knew and respected made the remark that I wasn't truly submissive and not a slave. BUT, the only opinion on my submission and slavery that matters is the man I love and serve... my Master. And even though it might hurt my feelings to hear that from someone I know and respect, ultimately it wouldn't matter because I am confident in who I am.

And I'll add this, to go along with the thread whatshername started....... I don't need anyone's approval about who I am and what I do except for my Master.

(in reply to GabrielleSlave)

Post #: 15

RE: Why does it matter so much? - 6/30/2008 3:04:00 PM

IvyMorgan

Posts: 729
Joined: 7/5/2007
From: Midlands, UK
Status: offline

I find admitting to being a fake/"play bunny" tends to throw em :)

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)

Post #: 16

RE: Why does it matter so much? - 6/30/2008 3:20:09 PM

bipolarber

Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline

Let's see... I have been called a "fake" because: (apologies to Jeff Foxworthy)

1) If you claim to be into something that the person you're talking to doesn't believe really exists... you must be a fake!

2) If you refuse to submit so someone, right there at the play party, even though you are obviously wearing a collar... you might be a fake! (and the fact that the creep who wants you to submit hasn't had a shower in a week obviously didn't have a thing to do with it.)

3) If you claim to be bisexual... you must be a fake.

4) If you claim to be a switch... you must be a fake!

5) If you claim to have "hard limits"... you must be a fake!

6) If you refuse to have sex, along with your BDSM play... you must be a fake!

7) If you don't act like a porn star, dropping to your knees to service the guy you are dating... just because you want to hear the rest of the pastor's sermon... you must be a fake!

8) If you have gained a couple of pounds, and just haven't had a chance to update your profile photo from two years ago... you must be a fake.

9) If you don't want to boarder a total stranger, from a foreign country, in your home for an undisclosed period of time... you must be a fake.

10) If you DO want sex with your BDSM play... you must be a fake!

Try making up your own... it's fun, and the list never seems to exhaust itself!

3

(in reply to IvyMorgan)

Post #: 17

RE: Why does it matter so much? - 6/30/2008 3:22:48 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

If you claim to be a sadist and it turns out you really do like hurting people… you are a bad Dom and fake. etc

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to bipolarber)

Post #: 18

RE: Why does it matter so much? - 6/30/2008 3:24:15 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I am a fake because I didn't want to meet a guy who only wanted me for...something or other, it was never made clear. Anyway! Join the club, the line for tiaras forms to the right.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to bipolarber)

Post #: 19

RE: Why does it matter so much? - 6/30/2008 3:25:34 PM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GabrielleSlave

i have just been called a fake for the first time. My first instinct was "Yey, i must be real then!" but then i felt hurt and upset. This so called Dom imparted this valuable opinion of me because i did not swoon when he told me i had to pick him up at the airport and put him up in my home to ensure i was real. i challenged him by saying that i would do no such thing, being an owned slave... and BINGO, he came up with the conclusion that i was a fake.

My problem therefore is not with him, how could it be? It is with my reaction to what he said. i know that what Master and i have is very real, so why on earth should it matter what an idiot in Germany thinks???

Gabrielle x

Well, Gabrielle, it was your first time. It can feel like being slapped in the face wth a fish.

You don't say whether this dimwit insulted you in email, IM or by phone; but each can feel very immediate...especially phone.

Don't worry too much -- sounds like your reaction passed quickly and it wasn't very upsetting.

We all have a certain number of dimwits to contend with.

candystripper

(in reply to GabrielleSlave)

Post #: 20

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