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RE: Why does it matter so much? - 6/30/2008 5:22:14 PM

TheGaggingWh0re

Posts: 222
Joined: 1/19/2006
Status: offline

Awer, you guys are actually making me feel better. You all are right, after all. Someday that little voice in the back of my head that allows me to care what someone who says I'm fake says will disappear.

*grabbyhands for a tiara from LadyHibiscus!*

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 21

RE: Why does it matter so much? - 6/30/2008 5:27:54 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

OP, you are bothered by this about the same way I am bothred by messages to my boy. In my thread about protecting my orperty.. its the same thought process.
Why should we care? Becasue we do. It isnt going to change my life if someone speaks that way to Fox, nor is it going to change yours if someone tells you you are fake. But, it bothers us. For no apparent reason.

Me, I just deal, write the note i want to write and feel better knowing I said my piece. I reference it often, but its case of the Fox and the Grapes. They cant have what they want, so there must be something wrong with it and it be unappealing.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to GabrielleSlave)

Post #: 22

RE: Why does it matter so much? - 6/30/2008 5:38:13 PM

Amaros

Posts: 1363
Joined: 7/25/2005
Status: offline

It doesn't matter, but even iconoclasts such as ourselves desire a certain degree of social approval, if only within our social circle - chances are good however, that people who bandy the word fake around, particularly during negotiations with a spoken for submissive without going through her dominant, a simple matter of paying proper respect to her chosen partner, is not going to be a very popular fellow in any event.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 23

RE: Why does it matter so much? - 6/30/2008 6:09:59 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

You should have led him on. Think of all the fun you could have had imagining him waiting at an airport for hours.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 24

RE: Why does it matter so much? - 6/30/2008 6:29:51 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

I have to actually care about someone to be bothered.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to GabrielleSlave)

Post #: 25

RE: Why does it matter so much? - 6/30/2008 6:52:48 PM

sunlitflames

Posts: 84
Joined: 3/6/2006
Status: offline

it's called manipulation.... and kuddos to you for not falling for it.

it does leave a bit of yucky residue..... so stand up, give yourself a good shake, dust it all off...... tell yourself "i'm a damn smart slave!!" feel better now ?? :)

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 26

RE: Why does it matter so much? - 6/30/2008 7:00:26 PM

WhisperSupremacy

Posts: 74
Joined: 4/7/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

5)i demand pizza and diet pepsi...(the ones that called me fake on this drink diet coke)

Ahh, fuck those guys,....everyone knows that true doms and subs drink VAULT!!!

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)

Post #: 27

RE: Why does it matter so much? - 6/30/2008 7:41:00 PM

TheGaggingWh0re

Posts: 222
Joined: 1/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhisperSupremacy

quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

5)i demand pizza and diet pepsi...(the ones that called me fake on this drink diet coke)

Ahh, fuck those guys,....everyone knows that true doms and subs drink VAULT!!!

BLAHAAAAAGH D8<
*sips her cranberry juice* ^^ mmmmm

(in reply to WhisperSupremacy)

Post #: 28

RE: Why does it matter so much? - 6/30/2008 7:42:54 PM

variation30

Posts: 1190
Joined: 12/1/2007
From: Alabama
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GabrielleSlave

i have just been called a fake for the first time. My first instinct was "Yey, i must be real then!" but then i felt hurt and upset. This so called Dom imparted this valuable opinion of me because i did not swoon when he told me i had to pick him up at the airport and put him up in my home to ensure i was real. i challenged him by saying that i would do no such thing, being an owned slave... and BINGO, he came up with the conclusion that i was a fake.

My problem therefore is not with him, how could it be? It is with my reaction to what he said. i know that what Master and i have is very real, so why on earth should it matter what an idiot in Germany thinks???

Gabrielle x

it sounds like you let a real keeper slip through your fingers.

_____________________________

all the good ones are collared or lesbians.

or old.

(in reply to GabrielleSlave)

Post #: 29

RE: Why does it matter so much? - 6/30/2008 7:54:41 PM

variation30

Posts: 1190
Joined: 12/1/2007
From: Alabama
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bipolarber

Let's see... I have been called a "fake" because: (apologies to Jeff Foxworthy)

1) If you claim to be into something that the person you're talking to doesn't believe really exists... you must be a fake!

2) If you refuse to submit so someone, right there at the play party, even though you are obviously wearing a collar... you might be a fake! (and the fact that the creep who wants you to submit hasn't had a shower in a week obviously didn't have a thing to do with it.)

3) If you claim to be bisexual... you must be a fake.

4) If you claim to be a switch... you must be a fake!

5) If you claim to have "hard limits"... you must be a fake!

6) If you refuse to have sex, along with your BDSM play... you must be a fake!

7) If you don't act like a porn star, dropping to your knees to service the guy you are dating... just because you want to hear the rest of the pastor's sermon... you must be a fake!

8) If you have gained a couple of pounds, and just haven't had a chance to update your profile photo from two years ago... you must be a fake.

9) If you don't want to boarder a total stranger, from a foreign country, in your home for an undisclosed period of time... you must be a fake.

10) If you DO want sex with your BDSM play... you must be a fake!

Try making up your own... it's fun, and the list never seems to exhaust itself!

3

if you actually imagine his voice, it works out very well.

_____________________________

all the good ones are collared or lesbians.

or old.

(in reply to bipolarber)

Post #: 30

RE: Why does it matter so much? - 6/30/2008 7:57:13 PM

StrangerinBlack

Posts: 44
Joined: 4/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GabrielleSlave

quote:

ORIGINAL: StrangerinBlack
It is because you value the love and connection that you share with you Master, that the sugestion it might be false seems so offensive. We can't control the way we respond to things, but we can look at our responses and learn about ourselves from them. In this case I just think that your responce shows that you are a loving person, and has nothing to do with the German dude at all.

What a wonderful way of putting it, if i could hug you i would!

You guys have made me feel better already, thankyou!

Gabrielle x

Thanks, just glad to do my small part in keeping our cultural neurosis from ruining the day of yet another genuinly feeling person.

Have faith in your integrity of your compassion, and realize that most of the time, our fears are just pointing towards the things we care most about.

(in reply to GabrielleSlave)

Post #: 31

RE: Why does it matter so much? - 6/30/2008 8:03:21 PM

MistressSybella

Posts: 163
Joined: 9/14/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GabrielleSlave
This so called Dom imparted this valuable opinion of me because i did not swoon when he told me i had to pick him up at the airport and put him up in my home to ensure i was real. i challenged him by saying that i would do no such thing, being an owned slave...

Gabrielle x

Good for you! NO one, especially a female, should allow a stranger to shack up with them like that. He should have expected to get a room somewhere, and then if things go well, been pleasantly surprised by your hospitality.

Miss 'Bella

< Message edited by MistressSybella -- 6/30/2008 8:04:29 PM >

(in reply to GabrielleSlave)

Post #: 32

RE: Why does it matter so much? - 6/30/2008 8:06:24 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

You should have led him on. Think of all the fun you could have had imagining him waiting at an airport for hours.

That is deliciously evil.

_____________________________

Good is the enemy of great.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 33

RE: Why does it matter so much? - 6/30/2008 8:22:54 PM

MistressSybella

Posts: 163
Joined: 9/14/2004
Status: offline

It happens to all of us, I think. I was called a fake once...just once.

Someone claiming to be a lesbian female slave contacted me with a brief but friendly message. Since we were both online at that moment but I couldn't stay and chat, I responded to be courteous. I told her that I had to run out the door, for a nail appointment, but would write more shortly. Within seconds, she countered, "You are a man!" I was so shocked, I answered right then, "What!?! No, I am not." She hit me with 3 or 4 more short messsages, insistent, informing me that I was a man and nothing I could say or do would prove to her otherwise.

I have no clue how she got to this conclusion but decided it wasn't my job to prove anything to a crazy person. I came to the conclusion that she contacted me just to be snotty. She was the first one ever to be put on my block list AND I ended up late for my nail appointment on top of being irritated. LOL!

Some people just cannot and will not be pleased. How does that saying go? I can only please one person per day. Today isn't your day and tomorrow doesn't look good either...yes, I think that's it. ;)

Miss 'Bella

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 34

RE: Why does it matter so much? - 6/30/2008 11:20:09 PM

chickpea

Posts: 446
Joined: 8/3/2005
From: Los Angeles Area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GabrielleSlave

i have just been called a fake for the first time. My first instinct was "Yey, i must be real then!" but then i felt hurt and upset. This so called Dom imparted this valuable opinion of me because i did not swoon when he told me i had to pick him up at the airport and put him up in my home to ensure i was real. i challenged him by saying that i would do no such thing, being an owned slave... and BINGO, he came up with the conclusion that i was a fake.

My problem therefore is not with him, how could it be? It is with my reaction to what he said. i know that what Master and i have is very real, so why on earth should it matter what an idiot in Germany thinks???

Gabrielle x

Some (fake...ehrm) doms will scream fake if you don't do anything they say.

Now here's their point of view:

Lots of fake sub profiles. They have to prove that this is not another one of them.

So, it's just a case of paranoia over the internet. And some will take it to the extreme of loafing off of ya. Some (fake) Doms come into the lifestyle seeking easier, breezier funner times than without BDSM. They neglect the acting more responsible and trustworthy part, to help a sub successfully into that dynamic....and build a thriving BDSM relationship. The (real) Doms focus on building the power exchange aspect.... rather than Dom convenience, and if a slave makes life easier for them or not (which should be a secondary result of successfully building and executing a BDSM power exchange). They see the reaping, without the sowing... tsk, tsk to them for forgetting the sowing part...

Anyone that tries to get you to be a sub (when they're not your Master yet) via intimidation or name calling, is a FAKE. Whether you are real or not comes later (after you find a real dom and assess your slave skills). At the beginnning, the primary thing is to avoid those Fake Dom dipshits. I'm sorry you had to endure that.

< Message edited by chickpea -- 6/30/2008 11:26:04 PM >

_____________________________

Congrats to both In the end it was win-win. Now let's get to work http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/nov/05/john-mccain-concedes-election http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/11/17/transition.wrap/index.html

(in reply to GabrielleSlave)

Post #: 35

RE: Why does it matter so much? - 6/30/2008 11:35:30 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GabrielleSlave

My problem therefore is not with him, how could it be? It is with my reaction to what he said. i know that what Master and i have is very real, so why on earth should it matter what an idiot in Germany thinks???

Words hurt. You can try and harden yourself against them but words are really quite powerful. I'm sorry that it happened but my best advice is to delete, ignore and snuggle your owner.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to GabrielleSlave)

Post #: 36

RE: Why does it matter so much? - 7/1/2008 3:55:22 AM

softness

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel

LA is always saying that you aren't a real slave until someone says you're a fake 5 times.

I keep waiting for my 5 declarations that I am not a real slave. *taps foot impatiently, looks at watch*

I'll be honest, I would be taken aback if someone I knew and respected made the remark that I wasn't truly submissive and not a slave.

fake
fake
fake
fake
fake

quick .. now you do me!

To the OP
I was at a munch the other day and I was brought up short .. someone who knows me real time, but has never interacted with DV at any level even just on a message board , and has never seen me with DV or behing in what could be recognised as "in protocol".. said that I was genuine .. that I was the real deal. I have gotten so used to be called a fake - used to taking crap from being "online" and LDR, for the dynamic of our relationship etc etc that someone actually face to face with me saying I was the real deal ... I was shocked. I felt pathetically grateful for having that recorgnised by someone other than DV and my very small circle of intimate friends.

I don't need approval of anyone but myself, I don't even honestly NEED it (like I can survive without it) from DV ... but I want approval, I desire it, it makes me happy to feel it. If you are told something enough times, it starts to have a seed of truth for you ... thats just being humna, you just need to stop that seed from growing

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)

Post #: 37

RE: Why does it matter so much? - 7/1/2008 4:34:31 AM

BRNaughtyAngel

Posts: 1821
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

quote:

ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel

LA is always saying that you aren't a real slave until someone says you're a fake 5 times.

I keep waiting for my 5 declarations that I am not a real slave. *taps foot impatiently, looks at watch*

I'll be honest, I would be taken aback if someone I knew and respected made the remark that I wasn't truly submissive and not a slave.

fake
fake
fake
fake
fake

quick .. now you do me!

You're a fake!
You're a fake!
You're a fake!
You're a fake!
You're a fake!

YAY!!! We're officially slaves now!!

Let's celebrate.

(in reply to softness)

Post #: 38

RE: Why does it matter so much? - 7/1/2008 4:40:12 AM

GabrielleSlave

Posts: 616
Joined: 9/20/2007
From: in servitude
Status: offline

i have just come online to find this thread has become one gigantic hug and i am so grateful! Bits have made me laugh out loud and i am humbled by the warmth and feeling of everyone. Thankyou!!!!!!!!

Gabrielle x

_____________________________

Slave to Master Slayer

~ Host of the Rather Marvelous Greenwich Munch ~

"There is no such thing as liberty. You only change one sort of domination for another. All we can do is to choose our master."
D. H. Lawrence

(in reply to softness)

Post #: 39

RE: Why does it matter so much? - 7/1/2008 4:43:13 AM

softness

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline

woooop woooop ... i am real!

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to GabrielleSlave)

Post #: 40

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