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ORIGINAL: shadowcd

I generally want to live in harmony but have been told several times that they get bored with that :P     which I guess is why Im curious.   I'm definitly rebelious at the start but hope that I can be tamed..  as of yet that hasnt' happened but I've mostly only been invovled with switches.

I can understand why a switch would get bored with a man who was completely submissive to her.  A submissive isn't likely what she's looking for.  If she's not looking for total submission, then why would you be inclined to give it to her?

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I want to find someone where I wouldn't even think of resisting.   But I aggree with you pixel that is the kind of connection I seek but find it difficult to really submit that fully with anyone I've been involved with so far.   Suppose that's why I asked, though.  Sometimes I think about finding someone that will just train me to let go easier,  but something inside me says that is something I want to save for my eventual life mate. :)  we shall see I guess. 

To fully submit, it takes trust.  For me, the more I trust, the more I'm able to submit.  Similarly, the deeper my submission becomes, the deeper my trust grows.  It's a spiral that feeds on itself and for me, building an emotional connection or "falling in love" is also a part of that.  The more I care for a woman, the more I'm able to trust her and greater my desire to submit to her on an increasingly deeper level becomes.

I don't think a woman can train you to let go and submit to her.  It's about her showing you that you can trust her, which takes time with both of you getting to know each other as people and developing a relationship on a deeper level.  The BDSM and D/s enhances that once you build the foundation for it.  It's my opinion that going there too soon may take away from building that connection by trivializing the need for it in the same way that having sex with another on a first date or when you barely know them can. 

I think you're on the right track when you say that it may be something you want to save for your eventual life mate.  If you're holding back because you don't see a Domme as being a potential life mate, then IMO, she's really not the Domme for you.  You won't be able to fully submit to her for that very reason.  There will be a part of you that doesn't want to get too close to her because you don't want the relationship to go too far.  Mentally, you're putting a limit on where the relationship can go from the very start.  In doing so, at the same time you're putting a limit on how far your submission to her can go as well.

I hope this gives you some insight on your issues with submission and something thing to think about in terms of deciding what you really want for yourself both now and in the future.