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When did you know? - 6/30/2008 8:02:13 PM   
teacherpet


Posts: 13
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		As someone who has taken a while to admit that this lifestyle is part of me and something I can't ignore anymore, I was wondering when you knew this was something important to you and something you had to do? When you were very young or did the realization not occur until you were an adult? And as I've told very few friends or coworkers (okay, actually I've only told one person), how easy was it to tell people about this. I'm pretty sure I would lose my job if people knew what some of the things I like to do. Just curious
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RE: When did you know? - 6/30/2008 8:22:19 PM   
variation30


Posts: 1190
Joined: 12/1/2007
From: Alabama
Status: offline 		I still don't know.

_____________________________

all the good ones are collared or lesbians.

or old.

(in reply to teacherpet)
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RE: When did you know? - 6/30/2008 8:29:13 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline 		when the principal hit my hand with the ruler when i was like 10.




_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.
I am flawed.
Imperfect.
MUST SPANK!!!
SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to variation30)
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RE: When did you know? - 6/30/2008 8:53:37 PM   
fluffyswitch


Posts: 1108
Joined: 9/29/2007
From: Buffalo
Status: offline 		i was sitting in a HS study hall once talking to people about sex, and when they told me that i scared them i knew something was up. when i got sexually active and realized that i couldn't be happy in a truly vanilla relationship that cemented it.

_____________________________


“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” churchill

the first rule of fluff club is that you don't talk about fluff club!

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)
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RE: When did you know? - 6/30/2008 8:58:33 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		greetings teacherpet,

i can't really remember exactly, if there ever even was a moment of realization, but it was well into my first d/s relationship (the one before my current one) that i really began to understand that i needed this dynamic in a long-term relationship and it was what fulfilled me.

respectfully,
a'ishah.


_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to teacherpet)
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RE: When did you know? - 6/30/2008 9:04:39 PM   
Racquelle


Posts: 600
Joined: 4/21/2008
Status: offline 		When I was just a girl, when we played house, I got two husbands, and they kept the house clean for me.  Since we all knew where babies came from, we discussed how it would work to have two husbands, and we decided one gets the front and one gets the back.  Tee hee hee hee hee.

Then there were those incredible femdom sadists in the Zap comics my Dad had.

(in reply to hisannabelle)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: When did you know? - 6/30/2008 9:25:51 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		It's simply always been a part of me, my understanding of how I felt towards relationships, my fantasies were always of a kinky ilk.  But I never felt like it was anything I had to do- simply that I'd not be ABLE to do it and would have to make do with other fun.  Who knows how long that would have lasted if it hadn't been for the internet showing me just what it was I could do.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Racquelle)
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RE: When did you know? - 6/30/2008 9:34:14 PM   
Amaros


Posts: 1363
Joined: 7/25/2005
Status: offline 		I was having vivid dreams of Iron Maidens and glowing irons by Eight years old, racial memory perhaps - I think I must have been very naughty in previous life, and I'm trying to wean myself off gradually.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: When did you know? - 6/30/2008 9:49:10 PM   
LadyMorganaBDSM


Posts: 1
Joined: 6/30/2008
Status: offline 		I have always been dominant. It is my personality. My first sexual experience was interlaced with BDSM. Before that, it was tying each other up with jump ropes. It is something I always knew. I came from a very open family and it was just a normal thing for me. I have more worries now in professional life in how co-workers will take it then I ever had growing up.

(in reply to Amaros)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: When did you know? - 6/30/2008 9:59:26 PM   
WhisperSupremacy


Posts: 74
Joined: 4/7/2008
Status: offline 		Most of my interests were subliminal, tied to emotions and elements that make myself as a person.  When introduced to this lifestyle, it came very naturally to me, and everything made sense.  I feel like I know myself more now as a person more than in my year prior to bdsm.  I understand myself and others more.

I personally do not tell people I'm into this lifestyle because it's no ones business but my own.  Outside of my d/s relationships, I've told one girl who shared the same common interest.  I've never met anyone else involved in bdsm and I've never met anyone from this site in person. 

(in reply to LadyMorganaBDSM)
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RE: When did you know? - 6/30/2008 10:01:19 PM   
SunnyTawse


Posts: 151
Joined: 11/17/2004
Status: offline 		Since I seem to be stuck on topics like this today, I might as well post an answer for this one, too. Sure beats updating the resume.

There was never a time when I did not know, although I had no name for it until I was around 12. "Sadist"... what a lovely term! "Bossy" didn't seem like such a nice term, but eventually Dominant drifted into my consciousness. Around age 20--when I got my first submissive--I realized that it really wasn't all about me. Talk about a rude awakening. Now come on, all you "Masters" and "Mistresses," get real. You know you couldn't do what you do without slaves and submisives!

The earliest memories I have are related to TV--watching cowboy movies where someone was tying up someone else, or religious movies where someone was whipping someone else--yes!! Yummy. And of course, playing with the other kids, I always got to be the Queen... lucky for me, but also lucky for all the others, who wanted to be slaves. Ain't life grand?

Happening upon books that described the responsibilities of the Dominant, and then happening upon the local r/t community itself in the mid-90's was helpful in refining my concept of who I was, but the original concept was always there.

Sunny

(in reply to teacherpet)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: When did you know? - 6/30/2008 10:03:48 PM   
califsue


Posts: 593
Joined: 2/2/2008
Status: offline 		i was in my mid to late 30's when i first remember having the need to be submissive.
i didn't do anything about it until in my 40's and have explored on/off for the past 10 years.
i know it is something i can no longer deny but for many reasons it is critically important
that i appear as 'vanilla' as possible to my friends and family. that was the biggest struggle
for me when i started to explore.

(in reply to WhisperSupremacy)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: When did you know? - 6/30/2008 11:49:31 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		This was a hobby for me in the late 90s when I was in my late 20s. It became an integral part of my life in the early 2000s. In December of 2004, it because my spiritual path and calling to be a Master. I was 33.

Master Fire




_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to teacherpet)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: When did you know? - 6/30/2008 11:50:56 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: teacherpet

As someone who has taken a while to admit that this lifestyle is part of me and something I can't ignore anymore, I was wondering when you knew this was something important to you and something you had to do? When you were very young or did the realization not occur until you were an adult? And as I've told very few friends or coworkers (okay, actually I've only told one person), how easy was it to tell people about this. I'm pretty sure I would lose my job if people knew what some of the things I like to do. Just curious


I always suspected, though I didn't have a name for it but I 'knew' on July 3, 1982 at 4:50 PM PDT.

Had rather a bit of an impact on me.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to teacherpet)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: When did you know? - 7/1/2008 12:03:30 AM   
MsValentine


Posts: 82
Joined: 6/14/2008
Status: offline 		When I was very young I had an imaginary friend, he was a man dressed in black with a long whip. He and I would talk and I didn't need to ask him about the whip as it seemed perfectly natural he should carry it.

When I was nearly five years old, I started school and watched as a little boy in my class who had been playing up was punished with a ruler. I was fascinated by the power dynamic going on. Later on in school when I was sixteen just before corporal punishment was banned in English schools, the prefects were made to watch as two boys were caned. By then I knew that I was one definitely kinky person.

I played on and off for years but bdsm has become so important to me in the last few years that I knew I couldn't be in a purely vanilla relationship and so now am 24/7 with my sub p.

So, I knew early but only became completely bdsm oriented for the last eleven years or so.

(in reply to teacherpet)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: When did you know? - 7/1/2008 3:14:36 AM   
Stusmobile


Posts: 145
Joined: 5/26/2008
From: No fixed abode
Status: offline 		Its always been there, sometimes more exposed than others but the control aspect has been a constant since the very first girl.

The defining moment was the first time she begged me to stop and then in the same breath begged me not to stop ....... that cemented my need to be the Dominant partner sexually and has allowed the rest of my nature to come through without too much fear. The progression from being a sexual Dom to being a more rounded Dom has evolved over the years until I'm who i am today. As I've gotten older the need to be more open, more honest had made the D/s something that gets talked about early, often and in depth ..... the more I learn about her the more I can make rational judgement about where the no and yes seperate for her and become individual answers.


_____________________________

Goethe: "Whatever you do, or dream you can do, begin it - boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now."

EmlyKate is mine and I wouldn't wish for anything else.

(in reply to teacherpet)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: When did you know? - 7/1/2008 7:55:30 AM   
pompeii


Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline 		Like Lorenz' geese, as I became sexually aware in my early pre teens, I imprinted on Lois Lane tied to the chair, her blouse torn and hanging loose, cloth gag in her mouth, and that beautiful sensual squirming, squirming to get nowhere, always available, but never taken.

(in reply to Stusmobile)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: When did you know? - 7/1/2008 8:09:31 AM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fluffyswitch

i was sitting in a HS study hall once talking to people about sex,


Mine went somewhat the same.  I was studying psychology and sexual dysfunction...because I wanted to know everything about sex.  Back then the lifestyle was a dysfunction..psychology has come a long way in a short period of time.

I knew I identified with being a submissive...I could go back to things I had been doing since my first memories on this planet. 

Although, it wasn't sexual for me...it was mental.  Still today I could survive without the sexual aspect...I don't want to but I could.  Bondage is just too fun to give up.


(in reply to fluffyswitch)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: When did you know? - 7/1/2008 8:24:49 AM   
teacherpet


Posts: 13
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		Thanks everyone for replying. It is fascinating to hear. I can remember some things when I was very small that looking back now make it pretty obvious that I've been interested in this since I was very young. Wish I had accepted it earlier - I guess I've got a lot of catching up to do (which should be fun)

(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: When did you know? - 7/1/2008 8:38:17 AM   
AngelKittyX


Posts: 10
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline 		Well for me, I didn't know what bdsm was until I was 19.  I was telling a friend of mine that I had a fantasy of being tied up in bed and having someone do whatever they want to me and he suggested bdsm to me.  Ever since then I have been reading up on it.  I realized I always had a submissive personality ever since I was little. 

(in reply to teacherpet)
Profile   Post #: 20
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