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as the collar gets tighter - 7/1/2008 8:07:26 AM   
unclaimedsub38


Posts: 15
Joined: 6/27/2008
Status: offline 		Hi A/all.

First off thanks for the earlier advice, made me feel lots better :) so for new question

Second time we played he placed a leather collar on me, ( said it was for me to know and remember  i belonged to Him).
Last night He again placed the collar on me when we played and asked if i realised he had make the collar tighter this time, forgive my ignorance but what did that mean??.

When the play  had ended he removed the collar on both occasions before he removed the blindfold so i have yet to see it.

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RE: as the collar gets tighter - 7/1/2008 8:09:36 AM   
unclaimedsub38


Posts: 15
Joined: 6/27/2008
Status: offline 		ps>>> He also stated that i should find another sub to speak with, so if anyone has the time and has experienced all this already i really would appriciate having someone to talk too...

Cheers.. :)

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RE: as the collar gets tighter - 7/1/2008 8:16:39 AM   
NeedingMore220


Posts: 615
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline 		Could it just literally mean that he put the collar on a notch tighter?  Otherwise, I could guess at his intentions, but you really should ask him what he meant by it.

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RE: as the collar gets tighter - 7/1/2008 8:29:05 AM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		That the collar can be adjusted?

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RE: as the collar gets tighter - 7/1/2008 8:33:17 AM   
christine1


Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline 		great name for a bdsm soap opera.....

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RE: as the collar gets tighter - 7/1/2008 8:59:11 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

Last night He again placed the collar on me when we played and asked if i realised he had make the collar tighter this time, forgive my ignorance but what did that mean??.


Choking play?


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RE: as the collar gets tighter - 7/1/2008 9:03:27 AM   
hejira92


Posts: 2272
Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: christine1

great name for a bdsm soap opera.....


Exactly what I thought! Along the lines of "As the Stomach Turns".

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RE: as the collar gets tighter - 7/1/2008 9:18:27 AM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: unclaimedsub38

Hi A/all.

First off thanks for the earlier advice, made me feel lots better :) so for new question

Second time we played he placed a leather collar on me, ( said it was for me to know and remember  i belonged to Him).
Last night He again placed the collar on me when we played and asked if i realised he had make the collar tighter this time, forgive my ignorance but what did that mean??.

When the play  had ended he removed the collar on both occasions before he removed the blindfold so i have yet to see it.




According to the Official Subbie Handbook on page 53...
"making the collar tighter"  means that the dominant is now UBERLORD OF THE UNIVERSE.  He now wields incredible powers over your body and brain just by peering at you with one eyebrow raised. 

So there's your answer.

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RE: as the collar gets tighter - 7/1/2008 9:19:51 AM   
SirMIkeSD


Posts: 613
Joined: 3/16/2007
From: San Diego, Ca
Status: offline 		I don't have a clue as I don't use play collars.  When or if I put a collar on it's not to remove once we are done playing.

Mike


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RE: as the collar gets tighter - 7/1/2008 9:27:32 AM   
BRNaughtyAngel


Posts: 1821
Status: offline 		As others have stated, you really should just ask him.  However I'll say this, a lot of people have a bit of a phobia about having things tight around their neck.  I am one of them.  I don't even like wearing turtlenecks.

The first time He put the leather play collar around my neck, it created a bit of anxiety for me, even though it was relatively loose.  Now I don't have a problem with Him putting it on tighter.

So maybe your dom/top was referring to that...... but the only way to know is to ask him.

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RE: as the collar gets tighter - 7/1/2008 9:44:18 AM   
Maya2001


Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline 		It could mean that he is saying he is taking more control  or upping the intensitt than he did the last time you scened together.. though I do agree you should ask what he means 

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RE: as the collar gets tighter - 7/1/2008 9:55:08 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		LOL oh oh.  That would concern me.  Upping the ante each time.. eventually circulation would stop. 
Kyst (who has choking phobias)
quote:

ORIGINAL: Maya2001

It could mean that he is saying he is taking more control  or upping the intensitt than he did the last time you scened together.. though I do agree you should ask what he means 

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Profile   Post #: 12
RE: as the collar gets tighter - 7/1/2008 10:12:57 AM   
goodpet


Posts: 458
Joined: 6/8/2005
Status: offline 		I'm with the others on this one.. no one knows but him,,, so ask him..

either it is literal, a notch tighter, to which you can negotiate when it is physically too tight, i.e. you can't breath or blood stop flowing.. might be a bit too tight for most folks.. but not all..

or figurative and he is taking more control..   to which you can negotiate what it means to you and what you are willing to give, submit and accept..
or you can just be passive... ....and let him make all the decision about the relationship since he is the master you just have no input or responsibility and just accept what ever he decides..

Hmm guess I would ask him..

(in reply to Missokyst)
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RE: as the collar gets tighter - 7/1/2008 10:54:36 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I'm assuming it means he's taking more control. Here it would mean he couldn't see which notch it was on because of my hair being in the way.

The problem with him assuming more control is that there are too many assumptions involved, pun intended. You've only played twice yet he's assuming you have agreed to submit, not just bottom, to him. He's assuming you want to be collared by him.

Do you? What kind of relationship do you need? What does he envision this relationship as, play only or more? Are you folks on the same page. Seems to me you need to talk about it before you're expectations collide and you discover you aren't thinking at all the same thing.

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RE: as the collar gets tighter - 7/1/2008 11:28:35 AM   
robertolapiedra


Posts: 520
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: unclaimedsub38

Hi A/all.

First off thanks for the earlier advice, made me feel lots better :) so for new question

Second time we played he placed a leather collar on me, ( said it was for me to know and remember  i belonged to Him).
Last night He again placed the collar on me when we played and asked if i realised he had make the collar tighter this time, forgive my ignorance but what did that mean??.

When the play  had ended he removed the collar on both occasions before he removed the blindfold so i have yet to see it.




Hello unclaimedsub38. Assuming you did not change colour and you could breathe just fine in the ''tighter'' collar maybe your dom was being thoughtful the first time by giving you a chance to get used to your collar in a more comfortable mode. A lot of folks jump to conclusions around here...you said you were ''playing'' didn't you?

For experienced people, tight dress, tight ropes, tight cuffs, tight jeans even are a symbol of intensity. Maybe you just looked great in a tighter collar... RL.



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Profile   Post #: 15
RE: as the collar gets tighter - 7/1/2008 12:12:47 PM   
unclaimedsub38


Posts: 15
Joined: 6/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

A lot of folks jump to conclusions around here...you said you were ''playing'' didn't you?


Yes it was playing and i appriciate your intelligent response... Treads and posts here are in my view a way of being informative so to the the posters who felt my post was ( soapoperish)  may i remind some that we are not all as experienced as we may like to be and that even the ones who posted smartass comments where also new once.... if a newbie can not ask a question of others in the lifestyle who is she to ask.......

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RE: as the collar gets tighter - 7/1/2008 12:20:04 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

who is she to ask.......


The guy who is putting the too tight collar around her neck might be a good place to start.  Strangers don't know what is going on in your dynamic.


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RE: as the collar gets tighter - 7/1/2008 12:22:30 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

who is she to ask.......


The guy who is putting the too tight collar around her neck might be a good place to start.  Strangers don't know what is going on in your dynamic.



Oh that's just too easy and makes way too much sense.  Where would the drama be?

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RE: as the collar gets tighter - 7/1/2008 12:26:27 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Not to mention.......we would lose the entertainment value.

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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: as the collar gets tighter - 7/1/2008 12:35:13 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		Well I just don't understand why it had to go to a thread.

him: didja notice I put the collar on tighter?
her: no.  Whatda you mean by that?

Gasp.  He answers and end of drama.

Perhaps the question of this thread should be why she didn't have the ability to ask him that question when she didn't understand something he said.

< Message edited by Aileen1968 -- 7/1/2008 12:36:47 PM >

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