Padriag
Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: cravinspankin
And yet you sit in judgment of me.
interesting.
Actually, no... LA was trying to get across to you that your choice of words, the way you chose to phrase what you said came across to others as being judgemental and offensive.
quote:
What i said was..... "Sorry. i'm no pimp. Any Dom that wants to have sex with other women can line them up his own self.
Of course... this is not my thing, and so i tell any Dom who expects this that i am not for Him. It's just gotten me curious as to whether its commonplace and why. "
That's not being judgmental . That's a statement of fact. I am NOT a pimp. And in my viewpoint, he can go line them up himself.
Perhaps i should have been more clear about this situation however.
To make the point... do you understand that by using the phrase you are not a pimp in this context, you are implying that someone who does provide other sex partners to their dom, or a dom who shares... is a pimp, and that that is offenisve? There's the rub that is creating the friction here. I think you'll find if you change how you phrase things a little, the friction will disappear.
quote:
In particular regards to the man who wanted me to line up other women for him.. upon our second meeting, he was asking about all my friends, demanding i ask nearly all of them to have sex with him.
That just didn't seem appropriate.
It was inappropriate and since you were clearly not comfortable with that, you were right to walk away. That's pretty much end of story on that. If you have a problem with being approached about this, write it out in your profile. Anyone who asks for that afterwards, smack them upside the head for not reading your profile. In real life, just make that clear when you start talking to a dom, be up front about your limits. If you don't tell a potential dom what your limits are you have no right to complain when he asks about something that happens to be a limit for you. Dom's aren't mindreaders.
quote:
i find it interesting however, that people who tell others not to judge are often the ones doing the most judging.
Now you're just being pissy, that's really not necessary and its not going to win you any friends here. No one was judging you. You asked a question and you got answers. You may not have liked all those answers, here's a news flash... that's life. If the only answers you want to hear are the ones you like, then don't ask in a public forum, stick to your gfs who will just tell you what you want to hear.
quote:
What i was specifically referring to was... the man in question, who i no longer talk to, btw, said it would be my responsibility, if i were to be his sub, to procure other women for him to have sex with. Regularly. Whenever he demanded it. If he wanted to have sex and i failed to find someone for him to play with, then there would be consequences.
While badgering you to have sex with your friends before you have negotiated and entered into a relationship was wrong. There was nothing wrong with him being upfront about his desires... actually, that was a good thing. If that's what he wants, that's what he wants... its his life he can want that if he likes. If he finds a submissive who wants that too, then good for them. But clearly that submissive wasn't you. You know this because he was upfront about his desires, be thankful for that. It may have been a bad match and he may have done other stupid things, but that much he got right.
quote:
That tends to bother me.... the more i think about it, perhaps more so because first of all, we were in a very very new relationship,and by the second meeting he was telling me this, demanding i find him someone.
If I understand you correctly, you weren't actually in a relationship... you were still getting to know each other and exploring the possibility of relationship. That's where he crossed the line. But so far as the demand goes, if that's what he wants, that's what he wants. It wasn't for you so you said no... simple... end of problem.
quote:
ORIGINAL: OscarHargraves
I guess I'm old fashioned somewhat. I don't share well so I wouldn't want to share with others; especially my Sub/sex partner. I know it's done in many cases but I couldn't be comfortable about it. I want (have) one Sub and she's all I need right now. If she decides to move on or get married then I'll be looking for one to replace her. As I've said before, "Do what's right for YOU and don't worry about what other people think".
And you're right; the consequences of 'open sex' today can be very dangerous. Why would he want to do that? I have no clue.color]
Guess what, I'm pretty old fashioned too. I do not share... period. Chalk it up to having been an only child if you want, I don't share well with others. Hell, I won't even loan out my books or my tools without asking for collateral! (and yes I mean that literally) But that's me, that's how I am. Not everyone is like me and that's alright. Why would someone want open sex... dunno, don't care, not my business. If that's what they want that's their choice. Its their life and I'm not going to worry about it, neither should anybody else. Can open sex be dangerous, personally I think so, that's another reason I won't go there. But like I said, what others do is their choice. They can do what they want, and I can choose to do what I want, and never shall the twain meet. But there's no need to get unkind, imply people are pimps, stupid or whatever. That's tolerance.
Do I sound a tad pissy... probably because I'm looking at a long and growing thread and a lot of debate over a very simple problem. Two people found out they weren't a match, it happens, go your separate ways... end of problem. Why do we need to complicate this folks? Perverseangelic summed up the bottom line to this very succintly...
quote:
ORIGINAL: perverseangelic
The way I see it, you agree to those conditions, you discuss those conditions, before you pursue a relationship with that person.
The dominant person in question can REQUIRE anything he/she darn well wants, you don't have to accept those requirments.
Like Emerald said, it's all about what works for you and what y'all agree on.
There it is... end of story.
_____________________________
Padriag
A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer
|
RE: Servitude of others - 
Profile
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread