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RE: Servitude of others - 11/10/2005 5:44:36 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cravinspankin
i find it interesting however, that people who tell others not to judge are often the ones doing the most judging.

If you can find a post where I've ever told people not to judge, I'd love to see it.

I'm a very judgemental person. I encourage making good judgements and consider it imperative as part of being a mature responsible adult.

My point in that post was to show you how *I* initially perceived your post. I also specifically said that you might have meant something completely different from it.

(in reply to cravinspankin)

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Post #: 41

RE: Servitude of others - 11/10/2005 5:47:26 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OscarHargraves
I guess I'm old fashioned somewhat. I don't share well so I wouldn't want to share with others; especially my Sub/sex partner. I know it's done in many cases but I couldn't be comfortable about it. I want (have) one Sub and she's all I need right now.

That's not old-fashioned. The concept of a possessive monogamous romantic marriage is a far newer concept than polyamory.

quote:

And you're right; the consequences of 'open sex' today can be very dangerous. Why would he want to do that? I have no clue

Cuz it's fun, connecting, intense, objectifying, and fulfilling for who I am.

(in reply to OscarHargraves)

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Post #: 42

RE: Servitude of others - 11/10/2005 6:00:54 AM

JohnWarren

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: OscarHargraves

And you're right; the consequences of 'open sex' today can be very dangerous. Why would he want to do that? I have no clue

Cuz it's fun, connecting, intense, objectifying, and fulfilling for who I am.

I get asked "why do you like that?" For an enormous number of thats. It's not an easy question to answer so I present my own question in return. Since with many people, anything in the sexual realm seems to short circuit the thinking processes, I move it to pizza.

The response is actually two questions. "Do you like anchovies on your pizza?" If the answer is affirmative, I follow up with "Can you explain that to me so I can enjoy it too since I hate them now?" If the answer is negative, my response is "Can you imagine any combination of words and ideas that I could present that would make you like anchovies on your pizza?"

It's an approach that seems to have worked effectively on many occasions.

< Message edited by JohnWarren -- 11/10/2005 6:01:51 AM >

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(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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Post #: 43

RE: Servitude of others - 11/10/2005 6:03:52 AM

sting516

Posts: 505
Joined: 9/4/2004
From: long island, ny
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

There is a party, here in Southern California, that happens every few months. At this party, the Doms (all male) go into a room and each lists limits he is placing on his submissive. The submissives are expected to serve any Dominant at the party in any manner he wishes, as long as it does not violate the limits that were listed. Submissives may be held out of service by their Dominant, but those people generally are not asked back to the party again.

Sounds like quite a party...or event...or whatever it should be called...i wonder if there are similar events for Dommes and their subs.

(in reply to OsideGirl)

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Post #: 44

RE: Servitude of others - 11/10/2005 7:26:41 AM

cravinspankin

Posts: 127
Joined: 10/4/2005
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Thank yYou, to all for your honest responses to my question. I very much value your insight and wisdom. It's a wonderful thing for a novice like myself to be able to lean on the experience and advice of those who have been around the block.
I am blessed to be part of a local alt lifestyle group, but it's always good to get other opinions and insight.
Again, thank You
And please accept my apologies if I offended anyone. I honestly didn't intend to, and thank those who pointed out how my responses could be taken in a light other than i intended.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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Post #: 45

RE: Servitude of others - 11/13/2005 1:17:43 PM

erebus

Posts: 169
Joined: 1/15/2004
Status: offline

Some very complete and interesting answers here. Most subs/slaves prefer to be the only one in the relationship, a few tolerate their owners having other play or sex partners, a few prefer that. For some subs/slaves, I imagine it is a mark of their place beneath their masters.

Obviously, this can be a deal-breaker, and if the Dom insists, it may mean the sub/slave walks.

(in reply to cravinspankin)

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Post #: 46

RE: Servitude of others - 11/13/2005 1:22:30 PM

ImpGrrl

Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cravinspankin

it would seem that that would put the sub, me in particular, at risk -- from sexually transmitted diseases,

Procurement doesn't put you at any more risk than dating - as long as all partners follow good safer-sex practices.

quote:

from the danger of serving strangers

I have 2 questions on this.

1 - why does procuring sex/play partners put you in the position of serving strangers?
2 - why would serving strangers be dangerous?

(in reply to cravinspankin)

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Post #: 47

RE: Servitude of others - 11/14/2005 6:56:17 AM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
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quote:

There's an old newspaperman's motto. "If your mother tells you she loves you, check it out with an independent source." People claim lots of things. Reality is often quite different.

JohnWarren

No kidding; at times i wondered if the entire species of "Dom" was a fantasy made up by women.

candystripper

(in reply to JohnWarren)

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Post #: 48

RE: Servitude of others - 11/14/2005 9:00:37 AM

nephandi

Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline

i and my Dom lives in an open relationship, meaning that we can both play whit others if we want to and use protection, he also have urges to see me used by others, and this is fine by me, it is a thing we share, but i think it varies from Dom to Dom some will want to play whit others or to see their submissive used by others, some will not want that, it is all a matter of matching the right Dom to the right submissive. And just like whit that childs game where you flip picture cards unthil you find two of a kind, that somtimes takes a few tries. Good luck to the OP.

(in reply to candystripper)

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Post #: 49

RE: Servitude of others - 11/14/2005 1:21:09 PM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

Everyone is different. Master and i are monogamous. You just have to find the right Master that fits with your ideals about living life. Don't accept anything less. When you find the right one, you can surrender to him and not be afraid he is going to infringe on your beliefs and way of living.

If you are looking for a permanent relationship, thats just what it is, a relationship, before any thoughts of Master and slave come into play. There are some basic foundational principles that need to be there for a successful relationship, a couple of them are, to have a compatable way of looking at life and similar principles.

You are a human being, before you are a slave. You have the right to be happy and fulfilled, why bring someone into your life who is going to upset that?

If your just after a casual play partner, these things are less important.

(in reply to cravinspankin)

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Post #: 50