RE: Pleasing Vs. Obeying

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RE: Pleasing Vs. Obeying - 7/22/2008 5:39:19 PM

StrongSpirit

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Obeying is something you have total control over. Pleasing is not.

As a result, I expect a sub to obey. I hope she will please. If she fails to please me, I may punish her. If she fails to obey, I may refuse to punish her.

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RE: Pleasing Vs. Obeying - 7/22/2008 6:29:15 PM

masterofdrkness2

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first off.. I want to say it is nice to read a post where no one is flaming another for their take on some thing.... with that being said.. here is my thoughts .... obeying is ( as noted before) just doing what it takes to get the task done..... pleasing is doing what it takes to make the M/D take notice of what a great effort was put into some thing ..... it was great to read a thread that was informative and thought provoking

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RE: Pleasing Vs. Obeying - 7/24/2008 1:52:05 PM

StormsSlave

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Pleasing My Lord is, to me, doing things that I know will make him smile. (Bringing him Phish Phood, for instance.) Obedience is doing as I'm told, whether I like it or not. (Being consistent with discipline with the dogs when I would rather have fun with them, is a small example.)

There is little that has been brought down to me as law. Honesty, hearing him out, keeping my word, and being at his side, putting us before me or the world. That's all I can think of. It pleases him when I obey, but I do it because I said I would, and because he's right. I do things to please him cause I want to make him smile.

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RE: Pleasing Vs. Obeying - 7/24/2008 2:01:58 PM

shadowcd

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Joined: 6/23/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: StrongSpirit

Obeying is something you have total control over. Pleasing is not.

As a result, I expect a sub to obey. I hope she will please. If she fails to please me, I may punish her. If she fails to obey, I may refuse to punish her.

That is sort of how I look at it.   the goal is to please the way to do it is by obeying. If you don't obey it shows a lack of desire to please.    so long as the desire is there as a sub I expect to be punished in order to learn how to please better.   If I don't obey it would probably mean that I stopped trying to please. And if I stop trying why should I expect a domme to keep trying to help me please them?
To obey is the easy part, it's figuring out the best way to do it that's tricky :)

Actually the entire reason I want to obey is because it makes my job easier and my job is of course to please.
This is the biggest problem I had with vanilla relationships, I try to please and if I fail then what?
they get pouty and all I know is that I did something I probably shouldn't have.
I prefer vocal direction to follow, sure I may misinterpret it and for that I get punished.   But so long as I keep trying I hope that the domme would keep trying to train me. If I stop trying or obeying then obvoiusly they most likely will stop training and punishing and the entire relationship will fall apart.
This ofcourse is just how I see it in my head at the moment as I have limited experiance in the lifestyle, so some idea I have in my head will undoubtably change over time.

< Message edited by shadowcd -- 7/24/2008 2:05:23 PM >

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RE: Pleasing Vs. Obeying - 7/24/2008 4:21:55 PM

WILDRUBIA69

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I will Love To Please and Obey at The Same Time, But I Problably Will Love To To Top From The Bottom, Please Can Some Explain To Me Why I Do Stupid Things To get Punish and Them I Feel Like Every Things Is Fine, Happy and Feel Good about Myself

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RE: Pleasing Vs. Obeying - 7/25/2008 6:09:18 AM

Silkendream

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In a way, the desire to please is about Him - the desire to obey is about me.

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RE: Pleasing Vs. Obeying - 7/25/2008 6:17:40 AM

HeavansKeeper

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Pleasing comes from obeying.
Obeying comes from communication where as pleasing on it's own sometimes comes from second guessing.

the.dark.

In our house, that isn't exactly true. (I'm not doing the internet thing where I take the general form and assume the author is making it law for humanity, just needed a segue to talk about my lovely kittenbear.)

She obeys me, and that pleases me. But she can also please me. Pleasing me is when she "takes control of her submission." When she comes into the room with slippers in her mouth, without me giving the order. Or if I come home and find cookies sitting there. Or if I get a letter in the mail. Or if she sits at my feet before I invite her to the sofa... The act of showing her submission without me doing anything, is pleasing.

It may seem lazy, but its a way for her to say "I am happy submitting to you." Nothing says "I love you" like flowers arriving to your place of work. Nothing says "I am yours" like asking "Master, may I take your boots off?"

This small break from me giving orders, while maintaining that power exchange is the essence of pleasing. Vanilla or otherwise, every man feels some semblance of pride and glee at random acts of kindness (or submission, in the D/s world).

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