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RE: Does your best friend know you are kinky? - 7/2/2008 3:40:16 PM   
silkncarol


Posts: 318
Status: offline 		I've never hidden my interests from my closest nilla friends....they like to tease me about handcuffs and whips.  In fact my dearest friend was curious about the lifestyle....took me to dinner and had me answer questions about the lifestyle...i've drawn her to the dark side..she's now a Domme living with her submissive.
As years go by my circle of vanilla friends has grown smaller....but my kinky lifestyle circle of friends and aquaintances has grown quite large! 

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We attract hearts by the qualities we display. We retain them by the qualities we possess.

Shoes can change your life................. Cinderella

(in reply to Owner4SexSlave)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Does your best friend know you are kinky? - 7/2/2008 4:11:47 PM   
JoePNY707


Posts: 293
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline 		My closest friends know. The average aquaintance would probably not believe it LOL!

One thing I've found is that when a friend becomes close enough to be trusted--and it comes up in the right way--their curiousity is INSATIABLE!

(in reply to silkncarol)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Does your best friend know you are kinky? - 7/2/2008 4:19:37 PM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		My best friend is the one who BROUGHT me to CM!    Yeah.  He knows.

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It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to JoePNY707)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Does your best friend know you are kinky? - 7/2/2008 5:39:45 PM   
Griswold


Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha


(not counting your lover/mate as your best friend, of course).
If not, why not? Do you ever intend to tell them?
Akasha


<---- Not married....

And yes, my best friend knows I'm kinky...my best friend knows I'm sub....and my best friend knows I'm beyond any measure....entirely different from anyone she knows :)

(And she loves me nonetheless).
(Although she does think I'm just a smidge odd).

< Message edited by Griswold -- 7/2/2008 5:40:24 PM >

_____________________________

Never make someone a priority...who refuses to do any more than make you an option.

The man on the top of the mountain didn't just fall there.




(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Does your best friend know you are kinky? - 7/2/2008 6:09:43 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

No. I live in a small town, no sex shops, no porn purveyers etc. I can assure you that in 20 years of having breakfast at the local diner I have never overheard anyone talking about their sex life.

I don't feel the need to say "ooh, I got tied up and clamped last night". I don't talk about my sex life. My love life yes, she knows I'm very happy and she's heard me talk about his good qualities. But mostly my friends see our relationship and make their own conclusions. They see that I'm happy. They see us still hold hands all the time. They see the respect and liking we have for each other.


If BDSM is simply sex in your relationship, I can see how letting your best friend know your games may be awkward.
But BDSM is not only sexual in our dynamic, nor for others, so discussing clamps or sex life doesn't come into the discussion.
 
the.dark.

 
You missed the part where I say they see us interacting in our relationship and draw their own conclusions. They can see me getting up and getting him more tea or leaving when he tells me it's time to go. But I see no reason to tell them that I'm into BDSM. They observe the relationship and know he's the leader. Beyond that, what more do they need to know?
 
Why should I use words that might upset them when they can see what happens and think it's good. They know that he's the leader in the relationship just from watching us. That doesn't bother them. Me using other terminology might disturb them and would serve no purpose.

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Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Does your best friend know you are kinky? - 7/2/2008 6:55:59 PM   
califsue


Posts: 593
Joined: 2/2/2008
Status: offline 		No...my friends do not know. Not something I would share. My younger sister has an idea as she was my go to person for name/phone numbers and such when I was meeting people so that if something happened to me she had contact information. 

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Does your best friend know you are kinky? - 7/2/2008 7:51:52 PM   
lronitulstahp


Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Griswold

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha


(not counting your lover/mate as your best friend, of course).
If not, why not? Do you ever intend to tell them?
Akasha


<---- Not married....

And yes, my best friend knows I'm kinky...my best friend knows I'm sub....and my best friend knows I'm beyond any measure....entirely different from anyone she knows :)

(And she loves me nonetheless).
(Although she does think I'm just a smidge odd).
i wonder Gris...do you think having a female best friend makes it easier?  If your best friend wassome macho dude...would it be the same?  (Sorry to slightly hijack)

  btw... my best friend knows i'm kinky....but not about the deeply sub part....

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Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley

(in reply to Griswold)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Does your best friend know you are kinky? - 7/2/2008 8:08:47 PM   
subbisherri


Posts: 109
Joined: 5/28/2006
Status: offline 		My best friend knows, but he's my lover, Top, soulmate and hopefully my life-partner. Most of my friends know, even the vanilla ones. On the other hand, I play mind games with them by asking why they give head and pretend that I don't.

Your best friend should be someone you can confide in. When you hook up with someone that you think is going to be everything you want, and it all falls apart, your best friend should be the one who's shoulder you can cry on. And if they don't know your thing, how can you? How can you keep a secret from a best friend anyway?

Heaven forbid that should things go all pear-shaped, you don't have a best friend for support when you need it most. Don't hide things like this, and if you have to then maybe it's time to find a new friend?

S.

(in reply to Prinsexx)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Does your best friend know you are kinky? - 7/3/2008 1:08:59 AM   
SocialPerversion


Posts: 28
Joined: 3/21/2008
From: Northern Nevada
Status: offline 		Yes my best friend is aware of my kink just as I am aware of his.

I would have a huge problem if the person I called "family" was someone I was forced to lie to because I thought they were unable to accept who I am.

~~conquer4love~~


_____________________________

http://www.socialperversion.com
Master Thread Killer, front page to abandoned in one snide remark.

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Does your best friend know you are kinky? - 7/3/2008 3:53:19 AM   
pompeii


Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ViceVersa
I understand where you're coming from pompeii. Ironically, some of my best friends in bdsm have been very Christian


It is a problem with being up front. To have two lives is a very difficult task best managed well. Luckily, they'd never be on this site to see the real me!

(in reply to ViceVersa)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Does your best friend know you are kinky? - 7/3/2008 5:16:00 AM   
Griswold


Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp

quote:

ORIGINAL: Griswold

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha


(not counting your lover/mate as your best friend, of course).
If not, why not? Do you ever intend to tell them?
Akasha


<---- Not married....

And yes, my best friend knows I'm kinky...my best friend knows I'm sub....and my best friend knows I'm beyond any measure....entirely different from anyone she knows :)

(And she loves me nonetheless).
(Although she does think I'm just a smidge odd).
i wonder Gris...do you think having a female best friend makes it easier?  If your best friend wassome macho dude...would it be the same?  (Sorry to slightly hijack)

btw... my best friend knows i'm kinky....but not about the deeply sub part....


I do have a very close male friend who knows I like, shall we say, a more....uhmmm..."strong willed" woman , but I suspect he just envisions the typical leather / PVC clad kind of play...and then when that's over, everyone goes back to their regularly scheduled program...I doubt he makes the connection to an actual lifestyle, or my deeper feelings about things.

< Message edited by Griswold -- 7/3/2008 5:18:49 AM >

_____________________________

Never make someone a priority...who refuses to do any more than make you an option.

The man on the top of the mountain didn't just fall there.




(in reply to lronitulstahp)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Does your best friend know you are kinky? - 7/3/2008 5:56:33 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		All of our friends, casual or not, know that we are a poly, kinky household where TammyJo owns Fox.....

I don't hide from people and I certainly could never consider someone a friend who wasn't cool with my life. Just like I'd never think of myself as their friend if I didn't except their veganness or their being fundamentalist or liking dogs and cats or getting drunk once a month. Unless what they are doing is harming themselves or others, a friend accepts you for who you are.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Does your best friend know you are kinky? - 7/3/2008 6:09:53 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I still say that My husband and My submissive are My two best friends.  I know that's not the answer that you're looking for, but I had to say it anyway.

More to the question that is really being asked, there are two people who would be closer to the definition of "best friend" than others.  One of which has a profile here, who I can talk (chat) with for hours on end.  While I don't tell him absolutely everything, there are certainly times that I've wanted to.

The other is a vanilla gal who comes pretty close to fitting the bill.  I started letting her in on things a couple of years ago and is always wanting to hear about the places I go or the things I do.  She's often mentioned that it might be interesting to see for herself.  Last night, she said she'd like to come along if I go to the club this weekend.  In all honesty, the idea made Me really happy.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Griswold)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Does your best friend know you are kinky? - 7/3/2008 6:11:00 AM   
EponasChylde


Posts: 65
Joined: 12/31/2007
Status: offline
quote:

Does your best friend know you are kinky?


My best friend, my 2nd best friend, my doctor, my parents, most of my coworkers, my next door neighbor, the girl who does my hair...do I need to go on?


_____________________________

*aka geekygirl*

(in reply to Prinsexx)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Does your best friend know you are kinky? - 7/3/2008 6:11:52 AM   
Racquelle


Posts: 600
Joined: 4/21/2008
Status: offline 		My best friend still doesn't grasp the difference between a female dominant and a dominatrix and since I do go-pro on occasion, he's really confused.  But he's incredibly accepting.

< Message edited by Racquelle -- 7/3/2008 6:12:17 AM >

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Does your best friend know you are kinky? - 7/3/2008 6:20:15 AM   
bookworm966


Posts: 45
Joined: 10/4/2004
Status: offline 		My bestest friend knows, and has for several years.  A lot of people at work have some idea but no clue about the depth of it.  'We have to get the restraints out for a patient, better hide them from Sarah, she likes that kind of stuff'.  I just laugh.  My other close friends are all kinky themselves. 

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When I have a little money, I buy books. If I have any left, I buy food and clothes. Erasmus

(in reply to Racquelle)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Does your best friend know you are kinky? - 7/3/2008 7:36:47 AM   
Duskwolf


Posts: 192
Joined: 2/18/2007
From: Perth, Australia
Status: offline 		My two best friends are/were both 'nilla types who are well aware of what I'm about, and they've known me 10 years...
In fact, since they've found out, I think I've corrupted them, as they've both recently started showing an interest in various BDSM related topics.
I keep telling people I'm bad for corrupting them... Seems even my best friends are no exception. :D

I'm pretty sure that everyone at work knows something too, as I've often filled in conversations about "kink" topics with extra information, or corrected info, provided accurate names for things, and the like... If anyone I work with didn't know what I was like, I'd be surprised.

However, It doesn't change anything much really, the only people who don't get along with me are the ones that think how I am is "wrong".
Vanilla or otherwise, I have friends on both sides and I think no differently about it, I can talk to either group about whichever...

(in reply to Prinsexx)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Does your best friend know you are kinky? - 7/3/2008 7:41:11 AM   
CruelDesires


Posts: 824
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		Yes. All of my co-workers as well as my friends know that I am kinky to some degree or another. My best female friend who is a church going "Don't tell me what you really do" type who's been my best bud for 14+ years, has a few St Andrew crosses that I built stored in one of her outbuildings on her property. My best bud male friend knew what I did for years and was always interested in the why's and the hows and now has his own submissive after joining me in the lifestyle a few years back. It is fun corrupting people.

CD

_____________________________

Reputation is what other people know about you. Honor is what you know about yourself.
Lois McMaster Bujold, "A Civil Campaign", 1999

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Does your best friend know you are kinky? - 7/3/2008 8:04:06 AM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline 		Of course my best friend knows. She works for the sheriff's office. I didn't want her seeing marks and making assumptions that were untrue.

_____________________________

"cooking is my kink"

Collared June 19, 2008
(uncollared 12/21/09 with his death. RIP my Santa)

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Does your best friend know you are kinky? - 7/3/2008 8:18:13 AM   
TheGaggingWh0re


Posts: 222
Joined: 1/19/2006
Status: offline 		Yeah, she knows! She keeps telling me how my life opened a world of possibilities for her, and now she's found a whole new level of kink to explore (though she denies she'll ever be in it the way I am), LOL! What I don't understand is that I keep turning out female Doms. My best friend and my little sister. Never a sub chic!

(in reply to abcbsex)
Profile   Post #: 80
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