Bruising... How do you deal?

Bruising... How do you deal? (Full Version)

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TheCollarPurple -> Bruising... How do you deal? (7/2/2008 1:38:13 AM)
Hi all.. Have a question about how you deal with bruising on exposed parts of your body. In the winter months the bruises on legs and arms are easier to conceal with clothing.. How do you deal with bruising on these exposed parts when its summer months and you mostly wear shorts and tanks? My ass, breasts and back I can deal with... Sir says he will not hold back but it's put me in an uncomfortable position.. He wants me to wear a bikini to the beach/pool but I am extremely unhappy and nervous at the thought of having to publicly show off my bruised and battered body. I live in a very warm climate and wearing long sleeves and long pants for 2 -3 weeks while the bruises fade will raise eyebrows.. I am close to my family and they will surely ask questions as to why I am dressed so warmly.. Does anyone have advice or care to share their experience with regard to this. Thank you --- tcp

SurrenderForMe -> RE: Bruising... How do you deal? (7/2/2008 1:52:53 AM)
Ask your dom to consider real life, your feelings and the affects on your relationship with him and others. It is no big thing to be aware of where you mark. Occassional marks can be blown off with an excuse. Bikinis so he can revel in his handiwork, don't take into consideration how it will affect your relationships with others. Taking responsibility for the effects on you are somethin he might consider doing. Potentially losing respect for him because he is showing lack of consideration for you is a risk he is taking. How I have handled it, has been to live in the real world and acknowledge that my actions affect others. Balance is not a bad thing. Good luck

RCdc -> RE: Bruising... How do you deal? (7/2/2008 2:52:38 AM)
If you cannot deal with the result, don't do it. If your dominant is asking you to do something you don't want to do, then communicate with him and don't play hard when you are going to go out dressed in less. If your dominant is asking you to do something you don't want to do, feel uncomfortable with and you refuse to comply, you aren't compatible. It's not that hard to work out really. the.dark.

Willowmoon -> RE: Bruising... How do you deal? (7/2/2008 5:16:05 AM)
I'm trying to think of how one could get bruises on the arms or legs (at least lower legs where there is not so much flesh) while still playing safe. To my mind its not safe to cane or flog those areas hard enough to leave bruises and if rope was tied that tight then circulation would be a problem before bruises were. Willow

RCdc -> RE: Bruising... How do you deal? (7/2/2008 5:19:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Willowmoon I'm trying to think of how one could get bruises on the arms or legs (at least lower legs where there is not so much flesh) while still playing safe. To my mind its not safe to cane or flog those areas hard enough to leave bruises and if rope was tied that tight then circulation would be a problem before bruises were. Willow Define 'safe' though willow? Bruising can occur quite easily, and some people do mark more than others regardless of the area. And the OP did mention a bikini, and shorts, which exposes upper legs, thighs and buttocks so lower legs aren't really mentioned. the.dark.

daddysliloneds -> RE: Bruising... How do you deal? (7/2/2008 5:24:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Willowmoon I'm trying to think of how one could get bruises on the arms or legs (at least lower legs where there is not so much flesh) while still playing safe. To my mind its not safe to cane or flog those areas hard enough to leave bruises and if rope was tied that tight then circulation would be a problem before bruises were. guess you never been one to like all over impact play and stingy things such as whips, switches and thin canes; it doesn't take a whole lot of impact to mark.

missturbation -> RE: Bruising... How do you deal? (7/2/2008 5:26:53 AM)
quote: How do you deal with bruising on these exposed parts when its summer months and you mostly wear shorts and tanks? I wear them with pride along side my scars etc. quote: Sir says he will not hold back but it's put me in an uncomfortable position.. He wants me to wear a bikini to the beach/pool but I am extremely unhappy and nervous at the thought of having to publicly show off my bruised and battered body. Whilst i would have no issues with showing my markings off i think there is a problem here. A few bruises sure, not really gonna get questioned. A bruised and battered body? Well i would say in my opinion keep it covered. The public, mainly children do not need to see it and i think it would be inconsiderate not to take that into account.

daddysliloneds -> RE: Bruising... How do you deal? (7/2/2008 5:27:07 AM)
people on blood thinners, who use a lot of aspirin and the like, or those with thinner blood in general tend to bruise easier. if you don't fall into any of those categories, increasing your potasium intake will help to alleviate the problem. as for me, i do labor work for a living and generally have odd bruises all over the place, so no one asks.

pinkwind -> RE: Bruising... How do you deal? (7/2/2008 5:43:24 AM)
Apart from vitamin E supplements and cream, Arnica cream, and Dermablend camouflage make-up there is nothing i can advise that will help cover the bruises on a temporay basis other than to look to light cheesecloth and silk type light clothing that would look like you were just protecting your skin whilst out in the sun. To the basic question of having a Master not respecting your need to not show your bruises to all and sundry, if communicating how you feel does not make him change his mind on the matter you have to start thinking just how much respect will he ever have for your feelings, and your family's too. Apart from anything else, going to a beach with all your bruising on show involves everyone, young and old in your kink, which shows a great lack of respect for anyone else. People do not want, nor should they have to be, involved in your kink, and where bruising is concerned it cannot easily be laughed off as anything other than what it is. Maybe it is time to start looking at your dynamic with this person and evaluating what the future holds.

MsStarlett -> RE: Bruising... How do you deal? (7/2/2008 5:53:10 AM)
I bruise if you look at me hard. (One more reason I NEVER switch!) I had a boy toy at one time - not really a sub, but an extra lover - who had a bad habit of biting. This would leave bruises all over me, neck & arms were particularly disturbing as they were hard to hide. I told him repeatedly to stop it. Finally, I just had to stop any play time as soon as I first felt his teeth. It only took about two times before he learned to control that 'impulse'. But I'm a Domme. Even in 'vanilla' relationships, I always called the shots. I have no idea how a pushy Dom would act if you just turned around and said "NO!" Personally, I believe that I would totally respect that from my boys.... but they've never said it to me.

natasha66 -> RE: Bruising... How do you deal? (7/2/2008 5:54:14 AM)
If your Dom is so inconsiderate as to not be concerned about you being "bruised and battered" in public, something is off.....just my opinion.

softness -> RE: Bruising... How do you deal? (7/2/2008 7:54:36 AM)
Then renegotiate dress code .... or dont play ... or deal with showing the marks Don't communicate to him with sad complaints either ... show Him that as an adult having to live in the real world .. this is not something you want .. and you are far more likely to get the response from Him you need. Also .. go with a solution ... not a problem ... eg .. "I can't wear this bikini on its own with out feeling really weird about it.. but the bikini and this sarong covering the cane marks on my thighs would make me mroe comfortable and I would still be showing legs tummy and upper body and looking sexy" try that

littlewolfe -> RE: Bruising... How do you deal? (7/2/2008 7:58:41 AM)
talk with Him and tell Him of your fears and tell Him again untill He understands if not maybe you should rethink your relationship repectfully littlewolfe

fluffyswitch -> RE: Bruising... How do you deal? (7/2/2008 8:06:46 AM)
we try to keep bruising in visiable areas to a minimum so it blends in with my normal i'm just a klutz and walk into stuff bruising. if someone looks i tend to deliberately ignore them unless they say something. i have to change for work so some of the larger ones get shown. i tend to tell the truth at that point and most people don't believe me. it's never been a real issue, i've had more problems with bruises that i've gotten fallling out of trucks and whatnot.

pixidustpet -> RE: Bruising... How do you deal? (7/2/2008 8:10:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Willowmoon I'm trying to think of how one could get bruises on the arms or legs (at least lower legs where there is not so much flesh) while still playing safe. To my mind its not safe to cane or flog those areas hard enough to leave bruises and if rope was tied that tight then circulation would be a problem before bruises were. Willow we'd been home 2 days when i ended up with bruises on both lower arms. finger-shaped one from him tugging me about during intercourse. granted, i bruise easily... checks a moment and yes, i've some bruises from rope marks around my ankles too. no circulation problems, just from me tugging at them. it can happen easier than you think. [:)] kitten

crouchingtigress -> RE: Bruising... How do you deal? (7/2/2008 8:10:20 AM)
me: i am proud of them, even when i go to the naked beach covered head to foot....i love the burning humiliation i feel when i see someone judging them and me, and i force myself through my shame, to hold my head high...and remind myself that i have chosen this as my way in the world i chose these bruises, this is my style of loving, and although it is unconventional it is still love... but you: ask him why he wants to put you in this situation, and then maybe figure our how you can meet his needs in other ways, or try what i do.... whatever does not kill you, makes you stronger.

HardnRuff -> RE: Bruising... How do you deal? (7/2/2008 8:20:51 AM)
I once knew a Ms couple who were in kind of the same situation...... the Dom made her wear her swimsuit out in public and she had just been caned the night before...... Little did they know that her Mother would show up unexpectedly and see the bruises...... The mother knew the neighbors and talked to them. They informed her that they had seen bruises on her arms alot and sometimes heard loud noises and her screaming..The Mother called in DSS because the girl had children and the cops got involved... So I really agree with some on here that some things are better off not being advertised..If she is just a sub and not a slave then she IMO has a right to say no.... that she will not do it and jeapordize being outed...The law enforcement still frown alot on WIITWD... Whether consentual or not.... Nilla folk just cant understand how you can like to be beaten.... LOL

vampchick88 -> RE: Bruising... How do you deal? (7/2/2008 8:25:29 AM)
Have you talked to him about this concern? Afterall if someone reports suspected abuse they'll look at him first. Play it safe and have fun. Minor hickey bruises shouldn't get too many looks but large ones that cover a good space might spike concern. If you want the bruises to fade a little quicker than usual, use toothpaste. I know it sounds weird but it works. Apply a small amount to cover the bruise and keep clothing off of it for a while, you may want to do this at home so it doesn't get on your clothing plus you smell minty fresh. Just a few ideas to think about.

crouchingtigress -> RE: Bruising... How do you deal? (7/2/2008 8:27:21 AM)
telling people you just joined a kickboxing or a karate class works too.

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Bruising... How do you deal? (7/2/2008 8:32:59 AM)
If you are uncomfortable with the idea of going out bruised that way, you needto have a mature, strightforward conversation with him about why. You have to explain that you do not want your family asking questions that might necessitate you leaving him, which is true. Do not make that sound like a threat, since it is not, but if you are very uncomfortable, and they are around it wil be noitced. Discomfort about having the bruises, plus the physical fact of having them will translate to everyone as abuse. Is he willing to put himself through that? He runs the risk of being investigated as an abuser, and consentual or not WIIWD is still onsidered illegal in most places. If he so desperately wishes to revel in his handiwork on you, let him restrict himself to what can be covered by a tee shirt and shorts, and then sunbathe for him in a private yard in a bikini or nude. That way no one will see anything as amiss, and he will get his glory. Wearing bruses in public is not so much the problem, Fox does it all the time without a problem. The issue is that you are not comfortable with it, and aside from his not taking your discomfort into consideration (which is a problem for most) that discomfortis what will raise more eyebrows. If you have bruses and you act like they arent there, most others do as well. Once you are selfconscious about it, others notice a lot more. DV

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