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If only they knew.... - 7/2/2008 2:31:38 PM   
subenigmatic


Posts: 40
Joined: 6/25/2008
Status: offline 		To all the Doms out there, I'm curious what it is you wish your sub had known when you met her.  Was there anything you felt she should have known, or are you content starting with a clean slate?

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missub on CM
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RE: If only they knew.... - 7/2/2008 6:32:39 PM   
Lumus


Posts: 5968
Joined: 9/16/2007
Status: offline 		Clean slates can be fun to make dirty.

Just sayin'...



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RE: If only they knew.... - 7/2/2008 6:43:59 PM   
HollywoodExecDom


Posts: 28
Joined: 5/12/2008
Status: offline 		Like what? :)

In terms of BDSM, I like if my sub is a total newbie and relies on me to show her everything. Not every Dom is like this, its a personal preference thing, but I personally love the aspect of teaching a girl S&M. Its the mentor / student thing. Its fundamentally a Dominant submissive power exchange relationship to a degree.

Its not so much specific knowledge, as attitude, but the main thing I want from a sub is a willingness to learn and to be submissive... and by being submissive, I don't mean doormat, but general willingness to go along with what I'm commanding as part of play. Along those same lines, I want my sub to know basically what she's committing herself to by assuming the role of a submissive.

Just because a Dom doesn't require his sub to have any specific knowledge doesn't mean as a submissive you shouldn't come to the table with knowledge - particularly what is safe and sane play - but you can find this in most basic S&M books like S&M101. But obviously, possessing that knowledge is to your benefit - not necessarily to the Doms (although I sure as hell hope they're very well versed in what's safe play!)

Finally, other knowledge I like to a sub to have... enjoyment of art perhaps? Knowledge of film? Knowledge about world politics? All good things :)

That and how to give a good blow job always impresses! :P




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RE: If only they knew.... - 7/2/2008 7:17:41 PM   
MrFester


Posts: 48
Joined: 6/17/2008
Status: offline 		About the only thing I wish she knew then is how to give a good blow job.  Now, ask me what I wish I Knew....Much longer answer there.

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RE: If only they knew.... - 7/2/2008 7:38:04 PM   
Skully7000


Posts: 377
Joined: 7/22/2007
Status: offline 		short answer: I wish they knew all the things I didn't...and none of the things I did. I love learning just as much as I like teaching.
Cheers
Skully

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RE: If only they knew.... - 7/2/2008 7:38:20 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		I would wish all of the submissive and slaves, male and female, who come into my life to be much more self aware and happy in their own skin.

Master Fire


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RE: If only they knew.... - 7/2/2008 10:39:16 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		I have all my new relationship partners read The Surrendered Wife, Time Enough For Love, The Ethical Slut and The Bushido code.  It would be nice if they already knew the lessons of how to remain surrendered, how to be sexually free & guiltless, the ethics and balanced emotional perspectives of successful poly and the code of personal morals, honor and role positions in a relationship these books teach.  Toss in The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People for self discipline and you have a Stepford Slave education without having to become a Buddhist.  

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-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

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RE: If only they knew.... - 7/3/2008 9:31:37 AM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		i am good with each sub being exactly where they are at at the time we hook up...

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Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

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RE: If only they knew.... - 7/3/2008 10:58:11 AM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		I wish she knew how to cook. I am Literally TERRIFIED when I ask her to cook what dinner will look like when I get home. I Try to teach her but she gets frustrated and makes mistakes or she hurries things and they don't get cooked all the way or my favorite she leaves them on the stove untill the no longer resemble the meal she was cooking.

Because of this I do the cooking in our house.

I also wish she knew how to Iron because I don't like doing it but if I let her do it I end up with improper creases and trust me on this it just isn't worth the effort when I can do it myself in half the time it takes her so since it is imprtant to me how they look and I am picky about it it becomes my responsibility however she still irons other things .... just not my shirts or slacks.

And Lastly I wish she knew how to pick up other women for a woman who was in a two year long relationship with a woman my wife is unable to pick up a chick period she gets shy and bottles up, she admits to wanting to have done something but just being unable.

Steel

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RE: If only they knew.... - 7/3/2008 11:02:57 AM   
teacherspet101


Posts: 6
Joined: 9/18/2007
Status: offline 		please excuse me for answering this for i am not a Master....
but from a slave's point of view....allowing to be known if You are a drunk, a Master due to a very bad marriage or having VD is sorta nice in knowing BEFORE traveling to be with One.....

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RE: If only they knew.... - 7/3/2008 12:52:36 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		I have no idea, since I tend to spend time with bottoms-rather than "subs".

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RE: If only they knew.... - 7/4/2008 1:02:36 AM   
HeavansKeeper


Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrFester

About the only thing I wish she knew then is how to give a good blow job.  Now, ask me what I wish I Knew....Much longer answer there.


Q F fucking T.

(She's gotten VERY good, though)

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... You've waited your whole life for this moment...

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RE: If only they knew.... - 7/4/2008 6:52:20 AM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subenigmatic
To all the Doms out there, I'm curious what it is you wish your sub had known when you met her.

Master wishes I would have known that there was no competition with previous partners/subs of His.  I was new to D/s and He had been involved for many years.  I had this misconception that somehow I could never be as "good" or as masochistic or submissive or whathaveyou as some of the ones He'd known and scened with.  In my mind, I had them built up so high and with so much more knowledge, experience, etc. than me that I had myself virtually convinced I could never be what they had been.  It really took time for me to finally accept that there was no competition anywhere but in my own tortured mind.  He wasn't doing any comparing but I was and I didn't really know anything at all about the ones I was comparing myself to.  It was nuts! 

With time, insecurity over my own inexperience faded.  It finally sunk in that if He wanted experience, He would have chosen another with it, not me.  He wanted me - regardless of my experience level - and He wanted to help me gain the experience I lacked.  What a concept!  That was a watershed moment when I finally got over that hang-up.  That's something He wishes I would have come into the relationship knowing and accepting..............luci

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To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

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RE: If only they knew.... - 7/5/2008 2:49:10 PM   
Huntertn


Posts: 715
Joined: 10/7/2006
Status: offline 		Jees...I just want them to be themselfs...the rest I can work on ...lol...or not..snickers

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RE: If only they knew.... - 7/5/2008 2:52:53 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Skully7000

short answer: I wish they knew all the things I didn't...and none of the things I did. I love learning just as much as I like teaching.
Cheers
Skully



love the new pic :)



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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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RE: If only they knew.... - 7/5/2008 2:57:30 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

I have all my new relationship partners read The Surrendered Wife, Time Enough For Love, The Ethical Slut and The Bushido code.  It would be nice if they already knew the lessons of how to remain surrendered, how to be sexually free & guiltless, the ethics and balanced emotional perspectives of successful poly and the code of personal morals, honor and role positions in a relationship these books teach.  Toss in The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People for self discipline and you have a Stepford Slave education without having to become a Buddhist.  


*makes summer reading list*

But I agree with CT...

to expand on that:  without the knowledge/experiences the person comes to me with, they wouldnt BE the person I am interested in.  From the time we get together (even if it's only a one time thing) we each gain a bit more knowledge and experience..

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: If only they knew.... - 7/5/2008 9:34:42 PM   
mbes


Posts: 465
Joined: 12/14/2006
Status: offline 		Stepford Slave?! OMG! That is my absolute favorite horror book. There are people who want that?!

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Profile   Post #: 17
RE: If only they knew.... - 7/6/2008 9:00:47 AM   
SirDominic


Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		That it takes time to get to really know someone, and for someone to get to know you. I know there are success stories where two people just jumped into the relationship with both feet, and it turned out great. Could never do that myself. I would want her to know that it takes time to build the trust, respect and compatibility to make an extraordinary relationship for both of us.

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You teach best what you have lived.

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RE: If only they knew.... - 7/6/2008 10:55:45 AM   
EldroRolod


Posts: 28
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline 		I would agree with the comparisons to past relationships issue.  My sub/wife did that for quite some time.  Being an overly honest person, when she asked me about my previous relationships and experiences, I actually told her.  LOL Not always a good idea, as I now know.  So she struggled with wondering how she compared to the others and had self-doubt and confidence issues.  It took me a long time to explain and convince her that SHE was the one I chose to be with and that those others were discharged for a reason.  SHE was the one I chose to commit to in marriage and that goes deeper than just her submission.  She didn't see how special she was as a woman, a submissive / slave, a person, or a lover until I spent (and sometimes still do) alot of time telling her so and making her see it within herself.  This is usually done during sessions when she is much more open to suggestion and praise and it seems to be taken more to heart. 

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RE: If only they knew.... - 7/8/2008 1:36:28 PM   
masterforRT


Posts: 176
Joined: 5/16/2008
Status: offline 		I prefer to start with a clean slate. Many times, slaves/subs have been trained badly, and it takes extra effort to break bad habits and behavior.

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Profile   Post #: 20
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