61 year old sub male

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

61 year old sub male

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Introductions] >> Introduce yourself >> 61 year old sub male

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

61 year old sub male - 7/3/2008 10:56:31 AM

sbman21

Posts: 9
Joined: 2/28/2008
Status: offline

Hello,

I am a 61 year old submissive married male living in the SF Bay Area. I have engaged in SB since I was 16 years old. I have been married thirty four years but was always afraid to sugggest bondage to my wife because I feared she would not be interested in it (correctly so). I often fantasized about meeting and playing with other people but I realized that was never going to happen. Anyway about three years ago I discovered pro dommes and finally realized my fantasies could come true. After three wonderful sessions I "came out" to my wife about my activities which included SD as well. After some initial shock my wife educated herself about BDSM and we played for several months. Inevitably I realized my wife was kind of going through the motions and was not truly into it. So I'm back where I started occasionally seeing a pro and frustrated to no end. I have considered joining groups but I know I couldn't do that discreetly.

sbman21

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: 61 year old sub male - 7/6/2008 12:51:21 PM

sbman21

Posts: 9
Joined: 2/28/2008
Status: offline

Well thanks to the 19 people that have at least taken the time to read this.

sbman21

(in reply to sbman21)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: 61 year old sub male - 7/6/2008 1:14:25 PM

wandersalone

Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline

Your thread has only been here for a few hours.....give it more time.

I don't know if you are asking a question or wanting support or are just venting.
It sounds like an unhappy situation for you and you have lived in this situation for a long time.

I wish you the best.

_____________________________

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
Godmother of the subbie mafia
My all time favourite threads
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2002501
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=790885

(in reply to sbman21)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: 61 year old sub male - 7/6/2008 1:40:11 PM

MissIsis

Posts: 473
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline

Why not include your wife & try to get her to attend some of the munches with you. They are pretty non-threatening & generally very welcoming. Maybe it would help her to get to know others & get to understand the lifestyle. It sounds like you are able to at least have some communication with her & that she is supportive enough to try to go through the motions with you. That is a lot more than other submissives sometimes get. It is possible she may never be interested to go into this wholeheartedly. But if you serve her as well as you can, and still have extra energy left, maybe she would eventually be supportive enough to reward you by letting you indulge in your fetishes with her blessings within limitations you might ask her to set for you. That way, she would be the number 1 women you are serving.

In other words, by serving her with all your heart, what matters more will be your kink of serving her in whatever ways give her pleasure. That is what service is all about anyway.

Otherwise, what you are wanting is her to service you by indulging you in your kinks whether she enjoys them or not. That to me is much more the behaviour of a dominant than a submissive. That becomes her serving you, rather than you serving her.

Maybe if you enjoy just the kink part, you are actually a bottom, rather than a submissive. There is really nothing wrong with that, as long as you are clear to yourself & to those you care to involve.

< Message edited by MissIsis -- 7/6/2008 2:01:40 PM >

(in reply to wandersalone)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: 61 year old sub male - 7/7/2008 9:59:20 AM

sbman21

Posts: 9
Joined: 2/28/2008
Status: offline

Thanks for your reply. I have spent most of my life hoping for someone to indulge in my kink with me. For awhile my wife did educate herself about BDSM and engaged in play with me. But after awhile it became apparent she wasn't really into it and was just going throught the motions for me. So, no I don't want my wife or any woman to do something with me they aren't truly interested in it. In all other aspects of our marraige I believed I have indeed served my wife for 34 years.

Thanks,
sbman21

(in reply to MissIsis)

Profile

Post #: 5