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Shelf life - 7/4/2008 2:43:28 AM   
darkeangelique


Posts: 23
Joined: 5/25/2008
Status: offline 		I have begun to wonder if BDSM has a shelf life.

Is there a time when a person is "too old"?

What happens when the sexual, physical or mental, excitement no longer matters? Is there a time?

Where does the realtionship go when physical boundaries take their toll?

Is a mature single submissive more advised to look for a vanilla relationship to partner her into older age?

What's the etiquette or importantly the evidence?

Be well :)



_____________________________

Two things are infinite: the universe and human studity; I'm not sure about the universe
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Shelf life - 7/4/2008 3:00:57 AM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		greetings darkeangelique,

while physical deterioration can definitely put a crimp in play, personally i don't think it should cut into the experience of a d/s relationship. personally, i am 20 years old but already have many health problems associated with "old age." my master is nearly 56. other board members are into their 60s. we don't plan on giving it up anytime soon - this is what is fulfilling for us, not just sexually but within our relationship as a whole.

respectfully,
a'ishah.


_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to darkeangelique)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Shelf life - 7/4/2008 3:26:30 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		my parents are in their 80s.  During an ice storm two years ago they lost power for 4 days!  Later my mother told me that in order to stay warm they well, her comment was "we hadn't spent so much time in bed together since our honeymoon...it was actually VERY nice!"  Which was, of course, too much information but coming from two people who are totally in love with each other, who still to this day make out in public, i suppose the shelf life on desire may just be death itself.  Evidently sexual, physical, and mental excitement matters on a very individual basis and is not limited to BDSM activities.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to darkeangelique)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Shelf life - 7/4/2008 3:28:42 AM   
Maya2001


Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline 		I do not consider it to be ... I started last year at age 48 and have Doms interested in me that range from 20 to those in their 70s ..I am more sexual now than I was in my 20s and 30s, physically there is more that one way to play  so play can be adjusted to meet handicaps that age bring ... just like a much younger person in a wheelchair can still be a submissive or a dominant as long as style of play is considered to address the persons handicaps  or needs their are people that are still active in the lifestyle into their 90's I see no reason to leave unless I become no longer interested in  and for me I don't feel a vanilla relationship would be a solution as it does not offer me the physical or mental stimulation that I enjoy    If I became mentally incapacitated I highly doubt that having a vanilla relationship is going to be  a resolution.  

_____________________________

Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself

(in reply to darkeangelique)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Shelf life - 7/4/2008 3:54:48 AM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline 		DV has already made plans for what to do in His old age ... as have I ... "payback" is the word that most often springs to mind.

at first I thought I could put the cattle prod *just* out of His reach ... but that is just cruel ... so instead .. I am going to disable the power supply ... and tell the other girls they have to fake the reactions to being prodded. Generally speaking serving an old and creaky Master should be just fine ... its just a case of staying out of range of the walking stick and making helpful comment like

"yes Sir .. you hve had your blowjob already ... uhuh .. yeah .. this morning ... THIS MORNING ... yes Sir ... dont you remember? ... oh Sir you really enjoyed it .,.. I SAID YOU REALLY ENJOYED IT ... oh yes Sir i hated every second .. uhuh .. yeah .. it was horrible for me "
and
"No you already beat me for that Master .... YOU ALREADY BEAT ME FOR THAT MASTER ... no not Beets for tea... YOU ALREADY BEAT ME .... here ... have You your pureed meatloaf Master.

In all seriousness though .. there will come a time when the S&M type stuff just no longer becomes such a high priority .. but when so much of the relationship is the D/s and not the SM then those aspects of the relationship can survive.



_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





(in reply to Maya2001)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Shelf life - 7/4/2008 4:13:51 AM   
HalloweenWhite


Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline 		No, BDSM doesn't have a "shelf life". How do you define "too old"? and too old for what? wanting/needing/giving/recieving pleasure?. Stick around these boards long enough and you'll notice that for some it's not all about the physical side of things, besides, what about those who are "in their prime" and can't physically feel or give pleasure; people who have had severe accidents and have suffered significant nerve damage, I once met a Domme who told Me about friends of Hers who were in a D/s relationship. The woman who was Domme to her husband was paralysed from the neck down and they still managed to keep things lively.

Just because W/we aint all teenagers anymore doesn't mean W/we have given up on life-I'm met plenty of mature people into all kinds of BDSM fun and they have a great time, I use a wheelchair so things like suspension bondage or "take down" bondage maybe out for Me; I don't know, I haven't tried it yet, but when I do, and I like it, I'll find a way of doing it.

BDSM is as much about creativity as it is anything else.


p.s Have actually told any mature single submissives that they should give up looking?, what was their reaction? Im betting they were a tad sceptical.

(in reply to darkeangelique)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Shelf life - 7/4/2008 4:39:08 AM   
peppermint


Posts: 5173
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		Is there a time when a person is "too old"?

NO

What happens when the sexual, physical or mental, excitement no longer matters? Is there a time?

Why would the sexual, physical, or mental excitement no longer matter?  NO

Where does the realtionship go when physical boundaries take their toll?

The relationship doesn't change at all, just the physical condition of the participants. 

Is a mature single submissive more advised to look for a vanilla relationship to partner her into older age?

NO...how stupid.  Why should any submissive settle for less?  Why should a Dominant settle for less?

What's the etiquette or importantly the evidence?

I have no idea what you are asking here.  Are you asking for evidence that a person of a certain age not yet determined should give up BDSM because YOU say they should?  If you are, then you won't get it from me. 
 
I have really come to dislike these thread about how old is too old to play.  They are often started by someone in their twenties who sees age as a hinderance and can't imagine that their sex life might be better at 60 or 70 than at 20.  Sadly, you do not have a profile so i don't know your age, can't guess your motivation, or understand why you are so concerned with mature BDSMers.  Would you like to add some background information about yourself so that i can better answer your concerns about the aging population of Doms and subs?
 
Here are some facts.  There is lots of sexual, physical and mental excitement for those in their 50s, 60s, 70s, and older.  We adjust to any physical problems and have just as much fun with wiitwd that we had when much younger.  I do hope you weren't saying that i should not have sought a Dom when i was 53 as i was too ancient to enjoy a D/s relationship....because i did and i found a great relationship.  I hope you are not suggesting that my 67 year old Dominant who had a lung transplant 7 years ago is too old and falling apart to enjoy swinging a flogger or poking me with needles. 
 
 
 

(in reply to darkeangelique)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Shelf life - 7/4/2008 4:50:04 AM   
HalloweenWhite


Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline 		"I have really come to dislike these thread about how old is too old to play.  They are often started by someone in their twenties who sees age as a hinderance and can't imagine that their sex life might be better at 60 or 70 than at 20."

For Me the clue was in the word "Vanilla". 'nuff sed? ;).

(in reply to peppermint)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Shelf life - 7/4/2008 6:24:51 AM   
ProtagonistLily


Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I have begun to wonder if BDSM has a shelf life.

Is there a time when a person is "too old"?

What happens when the sexual, physical or mental, excitement no longer matters? Is there a time?

Where does the realtionship go when physical boundaries take their toll?

Is a mature single submissive more advised to look for a vanilla relationship to partner her into older age?

What's the etiquette or importantly the evidence?

Be well :)


I know people in their 70's and 80's in the scene. Your mileage of course will vary...

PL


_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

(in reply to darkeangelique)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Shelf life - 7/4/2008 7:22:02 AM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

DV has already made plans for what to do in His old age ... as have I ... "payback" is the word that most often springs to mind.

at first I thought I could put the cattle prod *just* out of His reach ... but that is just cruel ... so instead .. I am going to disable the power supply ... and tell the other girls they have to fake the reactions to being prodded. Generally speaking serving an old and creaky Master should be just fine ... its just a case of staying out of range of the walking stick and making helpful comment like

"yes Sir .. you hve had your blowjob already ... uhuh .. yeah .. this morning ... THIS MORNING ... yes Sir ... dont you remember? ... oh Sir you really enjoyed it .,.. I SAID YOU REALLY ENJOYED IT ... oh yes Sir i hated every second .. uhuh .. yeah .. it was horrible for me "
and
"No you already beat me for that Master .... YOU ALREADY BEAT ME FOR THAT MASTER ... no not Beets for tea... YOU ALREADY BEAT ME .... here ... have You your pureed meatloaf Master.

In all seriousness though .. there will come a time when the S&M type stuff just no longer becomes such a high priority .. but when so much of the relationship is the D/s and not the SM then those aspects of the relationship can survive.






oh - you are BAD!!!!!

and OP, believe it or  not, there is life - and how! after 50.  i am happier, more fufilled sexually and mentally, more content now then i was when i was 20, 30 or 40. My joy meter is off the scale, and i love life.  I wouldn't be 20 again for the world.  hehe - i feel sorry for all you young whipper snappers - i really do. You have no idea how good life can be. trust me on this.

and my Sir and i are together until one of us croaks.   and then the other will probably go out and find someone else to play and love with.    Life is SO good.

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Shelf life - 7/4/2008 8:33:09 AM   
bobipanti


Posts: 87
Joined: 9/29/2005
Status: offline 		Greetings Darkeangelique,
The older I get, the more I am sure of my wants and needs. I understand my aging body and enjoy the changes of time and feminization. The future appears better and full of life; I eagerly await the next 30 years.

(in reply to darkeangelique)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Shelf life - 7/4/2008 9:43:34 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		With age comes physical problems that require adaptation. A 20 year old may get her elbows to touch and a 50 year old may not. So what? Does the fact she can't get her elbows together mean she's useless? No, it just means that instead of an armbinder the top uses other restraints that allow her elbows to be a few inches apart.

If you can't kneel due to arthritis, you can still sit on a low stool.  Hypoglycemic or Diabetes II? Remember to stop play every few hours and eat something healthy. These are simple adaptations and until the mid70s should be enough for the majority of folks. Yes, the skin loses elasticity with age and thins, so heavier strokes may be out of the question but the top's endurance and strength will also have waned some so it should come out even.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to bobipanti)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Shelf life - 7/4/2008 12:48:58 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline 		We are both in our 60's so i will answer from my perspective.  Also, i am curious what your age is darkangelique.

Is there a time when a person is "too old"? as long as the mind is sound then no

What happens when the sexual, physical or mental, excitement no longer matters? Is there a time? the excitement is always there as long as you continue to spice things up and don't get in a rut.  For us it just keeps getting better.

Where does the realtionship go when physical boundaries take their toll? the dynamic is still there but the positions may change.

Is a mature single submissive more advised to look for a vanilla relationship to partner her into older age? why? i don't think that would be very satisfying.

What's the etiquette or importantly the evidence? huh?



_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to darkeangelique)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Shelf life - 7/4/2008 12:52:56 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

DV has already made plans for what to do in His old age ... as have I ... "payback" is the word that most often springs to mind.

at first I thought I could put the cattle prod *just* out of His reach ... but that is just cruel ... so instead .. I am going to disable the power supply ... and tell the other girls they have to fake the reactions to being prodded. Generally speaking serving an old and creaky Master should be just fine ... its just a case of staying out of range of the walking stick and making helpful comment like

"yes Sir .. you hve had your blowjob already ... uhuh .. yeah .. this morning ... THIS MORNING ... yes Sir ... dont you remember? ... oh Sir you really enjoyed it .,.. I SAID YOU REALLY ENJOYED IT ... oh yes Sir i hated every second .. uhuh .. yeah .. it was horrible for me "
and
"No you already beat me for that Master .... YOU ALREADY BEAT ME FOR THAT MASTER ... no not Beets for tea... YOU ALREADY BEAT ME .... here ... have You your pureed meatloaf Master.

In all seriousness though .. there will come a time when the S&M type stuff just no longer becomes such a high priority .. but when so much of the relationship is the D/s and not the SM then those aspects of the relationship can survive.




HILARIOUS!!!

But I'll echo your last paragraph.


_____________________________

Good is the enemy of great.

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Shelf life - 7/4/2008 7:24:33 PM   
kallisto


Posts: 1185
Status: offline 		I was talking about this very subject with a friend several weeks ago.   Both of us have at different times seen people well into their 70's and 80's still very much enjoying their lives in BDSM.   I found it to be very rewarding and encouraging to see them interacting with each other as if they were still spring chickens.  

I've always felt that you are the only one that can make you old.   You can give into it and stop living or you can keep on trucking with as much stamina as you can pull together.   Sure, play doesn't have to be as rough and you may not be able to last as long, but sometimes there are compromises to continue to have the good stuff.


(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Shelf life - 7/4/2008 7:40:41 PM   
Emperor1956


Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline 		Being an old decrepit Dominant, I would answer this but I can't remember where I left the toybag.  I need to find it before my new young slave comes over for her daily session.

E.

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to kallisto)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Shelf life - 7/4/2008 8:06:36 PM   
Alumbrado


Posts: 5560
Status: offline 		Too old to do what? Turn the dials on a TENs unit?  Remember which end of the flogger to swing?

(in reply to Emperor1956)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Shelf life - 7/4/2008 8:11:23 PM   
suessub


Posts: 71
Joined: 1/18/2008
Status: offline 		with age comes wisdom, knowledge and technical know-how. I have recently had the chance to be played with by older Dommes; in each case, I was taken places I did not know I could be taken to. And the whole reason was their experience. Both in terms of their technical mastery of their toys and their incredible ability to read my responses. Of, and their self-knowledge of their own desires.

So, its shelf life like that of a fine bottle of vintage port. From the outside, the appearance may not be what attracts you. But to those that know, they will understand it is the nature of the contents inside that matter.

_____________________________

"Cause people often talk about being scared of change
But for me I'm more afraid of things staying the same
Cause the game is never won by standing in any one place for too long "
- Nick Cave

(in reply to Emperor1956)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Shelf life - 7/4/2008 8:24:57 PM   
pettingdragons


Posts: 421
Joined: 8/16/2005
Status: offline 		 
Shelf life? only when the shelf breaks....
Too old? If all the parts and peices needed for Their kink still work...
What happens when the sexual, physical or mental, excitement no longer matters?
Death by ____ (fill in what ever your kink is)
Is there a time?  when your dead..unless dead people is your kink then please when this girl dies...leave her body alone!!
Where does the realtionship go when physical boundaries take their toll? when they stop making things out of plastic.....
Is a mature single submissive more advised to look for a vanilla relationship to partner her into older age? Mature!!! OMGS !! girl knows women in their 80's that are still kickin ass and takin names...and ones in a wheel chair with two younger subby men....they even eat her...well TMI for all of us!!!
What's the etiquette or importantly the evidence?
Etiquette is always....Horses Sweat....Men perspire and Women get dewy....
Evidence....ever dig up a grave???




_____________________________

pettingdragons
"may the moon bless you with her light.......so you dont pee on your feet"

(in reply to darkeangelique)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Shelf life - 7/4/2008 8:25:58 PM   
MasterDragon1963


Posts: 51
Joined: 10/2/2005
Status: offline 		I have seen in several situations where a older Master with a younger Slave who is nearing his time, has passed ownership of her over to a younger Master with whom he has the trust to care for her when he is gone.

Master Dragon

_____________________________

It is not enough to walk thru the fire, but to embrace it, the flesh may be burned, but the pureness of the spirit shall endure forever.

(in reply to darkeangelique)
Profile   Post #: 20
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