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No More Horror Stories - 7/4/2008 6:37:07 AM

hejira92

Posts: 2272
Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
Status: offline

We've all heard the horror stories of meeting to play for the first time. But what about the times when it turns out great?

For newbies, I sometimes think it's like a newly pregnant woman being bombarded with stories of nightmare births-not the right stuff to fill a mind with at the beginning of the adventure.

Here's my terrific story:

When I was first exploring, I recognised that I had a fear of very large men in authority (yes, father issues). I decided to get over myself and contacted a dom online who was 6'8" and 17 yrs older. We got along online and spoke on the phone a few times and decided to meet. He was totally aware of my goals. He lived a bit over 2 hours away from me, so we met at a resort hotel in the middle.

He said we would have lunch and, if we liked each other, he would get us a room. We did, he did.

Between many bouts of great play and even better sex, we discovered we had much in common (despite the age difference). We had a liason that lasted months.

It only ended because he was much more a bedroom dominant and he realized that as I explored my nature and submission, I would need more- an owner. He was right. And when my first owner came on the scene, he graciously stepped aside.

So, the "dangerous" things I did- setting up a play and sex first time meet- did not end with death and dismemberment.

I'm not saying don't be careful, just weigh your risks. Life is about taking chances. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Do you have a non-horror story?

_____________________________

Property of Cuffkinks

Member:
The Pimpettes
MoGa's IN-Crowd

"You're the gleam in my eye, the smile on my face and the bulge in my pants" - Cuffkinks

Post #: 1

RE: No More Horror Stories - 7/4/2008 6:45:41 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

I met a man and we wrote and spoke on the phone for about two months before arranging to meet. Due to commitments on both out parts, it took another couple of months to meet, but we did - both travelling into London from where we both were. We met, had coffee and ended up playing a few hours later for the rest of the weekend. It rocked. He was absolutely fantastic, I was pretty fine(sayig so myself) and we just clicked. No horror. No agony (apart from the seperation afterwards - but that's past now).

I am not an advocate of'don't play on a first meet'.
I am an advocate of being responsible for your actions.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to hejira92)

Post #: 2

RE: No More Horror Stories - 7/4/2008 6:46:00 AM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

I absolutely loved to meet and play. Most of my first meets were in hotel rooms and I certainly didn't wind up dead. In fact, I had some of the most tense, fantastic times. I think for it to be successful though, you have to be able to listen, really listen, to your gut instincts about people.

_____________________________

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Post #: 3

RE: No More Horror Stories - 7/4/2008 6:48:47 AM

pompeii

Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline

I met a gal who answered a Craigslist ad, whose response was so perfect that I was SURE it was a fake. She pretty much said, "you can tie me up and play with me all night, just don't physically hurt me". It was too good to be true and, in general, what's too good to be true is too good to be true. Yet, it was true. And it was good too!

(in reply to hejira92)

Post #: 4

RE: No More Horror Stories - 7/4/2008 6:51:43 AM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

I discovered my excitement at submission and went online. I heard back from a dom, and after a few online chats, and a telephone call, i met him at a bookstore with a cafe. I was taken aback by his appearance - the difference between online and real time - and we sat and talked over coffee/hot chocolate. Our conversation reigned the spectrum, and i was favourably impressed by his intelligence and humour and realness. I can't say for me that there was a physical connection , but i liked him enough to go on - and boy, did we go on.

Its been two and a half years since our original meet, and i love this man so much it is stupid! He has given me so many firsts in my life - including respect. This is the first relationship that i have been in where i don't feel that there is a covert war for control going on. He is dominant, and very comfortable with me being a partner in the relationship, rather than a combatant. And i submit myself to him happily and with joy.

damn, life is good!!!!

(in reply to hejira92)

Post #: 5

RE: No More Horror Stories - 7/4/2008 6:55:21 AM

tkenslve

Posts: 98
Joined: 2/23/2004
Status: offline

i chatted and talked with my Master 2 days before we met for dinner. Went to a hotel and played that night, it was wonderful and i was totally hooked on Him and on the idea of being His. i was collared the next day and it has been 4 1/2 years now, still going strong. Sometimes everything just clicks.

(in reply to hejira92)

Post #: 6

RE: No More Horror Stories - 7/4/2008 6:58:29 AM

camille65

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline

All (2 lol) of my first meets that turned into play turned out fabulously. The first one was more of a friend and the second became my owner and we have been together over 8 years.

R flew me down to Atlanta when he had a business meeting. He was in a meeting when I arrived so I went up to the room. Terrified and wondering what the hell I was doing, meeting someone I had only talked to online, in a strange hotel. Granted we had been talking for a couple of years but still it was weird. I was totally exhausted and curled up in a chair where I fell sound asleep.

The next thing I knew I was hearing the door click shut. I opened my eyes to see him standing against it just watching me with the most incredulous smile on his face.
Instantly every doubt disappeared.
He came over to me and literally scooped me up out of the chair and kissed me.

Since that day I have never looked back. We have met about every 3 months and as soon as I can move near him, I am.
He is my everything, my everyone.
He wraps me in love and chains.

His strength gave me the way to finding the woman that I am today and I really like who I have become. I love him utterly and completely.

_____________________________

~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).

(in reply to kiwisub12)

Post #: 7

RE: No More Horror Stories - 7/4/2008 7:03:39 AM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

that is so sweet!

(in reply to camille65)

Post #: 8

RE: No More Horror Stories - 7/4/2008 7:18:59 AM

persephonee

Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline

i have met to play after talking online and by phone for months and having met for coffee, and ive met to play after only talking for 36 hours....i take full responsibility for my actions and i am aware of the risks i have taken. Not one meet went badly. i am not suggesting that its a good idea to hook up with strangers. But i overheard someone at a play party say that "if you dont play with strangers, at some point you just wont be playing"....its just the way of the world. Eventually a person has to meet someone outside their circle of friends and acquaintences. It is possible to do so safely. It is vital to listen to your gut about the person.

Also, simply because nothing went awry all these times, it only takes once to ruin a perfect record and in this situation, one bad experience could potentially be tragic.

i have stories about these meets...but i use them in my "Poor, poor persephone" series....shes always getting herself into all sorts of predicaments, poor girl. shes just unruly, that one.

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to kiwisub12)

Post #: 9

RE: No More Horror Stories - 7/4/2008 7:25:24 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

Hejira, thanks for this thread. I have almost always played on the first meet, and I told a friend just this week that I could never post that, because it would be dangerous for so many people. Aileen really hit the nail on the head -- if you're a good judge of people, on the whole you're going to be first-meeting with good people.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to persephonee)

Post #: 10

RE: No More Horror Stories - 7/4/2008 7:57:13 AM

MasterHermes

Posts: 136
Joined: 5/23/2008
Status: offline

None of my experiences are bad. I guess the world is a better place than we think, unless you wish otherwise

Hermes

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 11

RE: No More Horror Stories - 7/4/2008 8:01:04 AM

dcnovice

Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline

What a nice thread! Thanks to everyone for your stories, which really encourage this newbie.

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to MasterHermes)

Post #: 12

RE: No More Horror Stories - 7/4/2008 8:18:22 AM

califsue

Posts: 593
Joined: 2/2/2008
Status: offline

I have played and met with men on the first visit. I am not recommending this but all my experiences turned out very good. My younger sister always knew if I was meeting someone, where, when or if I was letting someone meet me at my home. I always tried to tune in and listen to my instinct. I had spoken with them on the telephone, exchanged emails and im's. I would always call my sister after the fact to let her know I was okay. The person I now call Master and I played on the first visit at my place. I do think it is best to plan to meet in a public place and if someone refuses then I would think twice on that. I took a risk one time and thankfully it turned out okay. It was one of those things that I was kind of iffy about but I let my urge overtake me and did not listen to my instinct and the things that weren't adding up.

(in reply to dcnovice)

Post #: 13

RE: No More Horror Stories - 7/4/2008 8:53:10 AM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline

In over 11 years I have never had a dangerous or negative offline meet.

(in reply to califsue)

Post #: 14

RE: No More Horror Stories - 7/4/2008 9:22:18 AM

softness

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline

Fantastic thread ... a am a total advocate of people getting offline and meeting people for real, and I also believe that if people were honest - very little bad shit happens to sensible people who take reasonable precautions

None Horror Story Number 1
I met this guy at an airport, he brought me flowers and carried my case for me, we went in his car back to his office, he showed me round some ... then we went back to his house and he opened a bottle of champagne, we had a couple of glasses and then he made me a coffee because I was kinda tired. He was kind and attentive and exactly what he had made himself out to be. I was kinda nervous and he reassured me.

then we played all night and finally went to sleep around 5 am

Non-Horror story number 2

I went to a club in Manchester, on my own ... met up with a friend ... who introduced me to a guy ... who - when prompted .. found me a Domme to play with. I had never spoken to this person before, and never spoken to the guy who found her for me. My friend knew my procurer and trusted him, so that was good enough for me. I had one of the better play sessions of my life that night ... and I still keep in touch with the Domme .. *grins*

I have hundreds more .. because in the 6 ish years I ahve been into this .. I have only ever had maybe 3 (and I am a bit fuzzy on 2 of those) horror stories ....

Noobs ... be sensible, be positive .. and be practical ... and enjoy yourself!

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to came4U)

Post #: 15

RE: No More Horror Stories - 7/4/2008 9:31:13 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

Give the man the prize!
I have played on first meets. Heck, I have played after only talking to someone for a week. It sometimes involves bondage or cuffs, never involves any sort of penetrative sex, but always puts me in a vulnerable position of "what if". I have even begged for sex during play and been denied because that was the agreement.
The defining point is being a good judge of people.
When I meet someone I size them up for a few things. Compatibility, BS factor, interest.. and how I might be able to disable them if it came down to it. I have used the last part a few times in my life.
Being a good judge is one thing.
Knowing you might also have to rely on your own quick thinking and skills is also valuable.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

if you're a good judge of people, on the whole you're going to be first-meeting with good people.

< Message edited by Missokyst -- 7/4/2008 9:33:51 AM >

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 16

RE: No More Horror Stories - 7/4/2008 9:40:55 AM

fungasm

Posts: 321
Joined: 8/2/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pompeii

I met a gal who answered a Craigslist ad, whose response was so perfect that I was SURE it was a fake. She pretty much said, "you can tie me up and play with me all night, just don't physically hurt me". It was too good to be true and, in general, what's too good to be true is too good to be true. Yet, it was true. And it was good too!

I looked very closely at your photo to make certain that I wasn't the one who answered the ad- because that is what I did. After my divorce and the aftermath, I made the decision that no one could make me feel badly because I wanted too much sex or I wanted my sex to be too strange...

I explored everything- and a lot of it I found through Craigslist. I found fabulous folks to explore bondage, various types of toys (insertables and vibrators), canes, whips, paddles, sensory depravation, and much more. I met with couples and groups... and it was incredble. Not just the orgasms which were amazing- but the freedom to explore anything.

It's actually how I started doing things on a professional level. I arrange to meet someone and try out strap ons or bondage, pay for the goods (lubes, toys, harness, etc) and the hotel room, and then be stood up. After a couple of "there's no way you are you say you are", I posted the same thing on Erotic Services with a price high enough to cover the leather and hotel. When it was absolutely amazing, and there was a tip that was higher than my Director of Sales and Marketing corporate San Francisco weekly salary the first time... a light bulb went off.

_____________________________

"Science is a lot like sex. Sometimes something useful comes of it, but that's not the reason we're doing it." (Richard Feynman)

Blog: http://antidomme.sensualwriter.com

(in reply to pompeii)

Post #: 17

RE: No More Horror Stories - 7/4/2008 9:46:45 AM

MySweetSubmssive

Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline

Probably my most extreme example ...

When I first got on alt.com and was bottoming, I chatted online with someone for an hour, talked on the phone for twenty minutes, met him at a bar near his house that night, then went back to his house (far back from the road, isolated) where he lived alone. Rationally, a bad idea. We spent the rest of the night with me handcuffed to various things and him scaring me and lots of great sex and play ... until dawn. It was a nice ending to a years' long drought.

Like RedMagic1 I generally hesitate to post such things, because I'd hate for people to use that as a guide for their own behavior. I am either intuitive about people or very lucky.

I once suggested hiking as a first activity with someone whom I met online, and he said, "I would have suggested that, but figured you would find it UNSAFE to do with someone you had never met." I wasn't worried, but he was worried on my behalf. *laughing* I thought about it for a moment and realized that at some point he had satisfied me as to his safeness.

Mss

< Message edited by MySweetSubmssive -- 7/4/2008 9:48:09 AM >

_____________________________

"Oh, James, you're such a cunning linguist."

--Miss Moneypenny

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Post #: 18

RE: No More Horror Stories - 7/4/2008 9:51:57 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

He sent me a one liner, I answered with a two liner. Within three days we were writing each other long lengthy emails several times a day. Moved on to cell phone and chat. We talked about everything under the sun. Met him a month later for coffee. Never got to the coffee, went out for brunch instead. This half hour coffee meet went on for 8 hours at a nearby beach. Two weeks later he drove up to see me and we played for hours. A month after that I was collared.

That's five years ago and we're still going strong.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to MySweetSubmssive)

Post #: 19

RE: No More Horror Stories - 7/4/2008 9:59:14 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

fast reply

since i have trust issues, i don't play/have sex on the first, second, third etc meet/date because i need to feel comfortable for that type of intimacy.

the dominant i'm dating understood this when we had our first meet in a grocery store. our subsequent dates were non-intimate for about 2 weeks. i wanted to know him better (likewise for him - knowing me better) before moving towards an intimate relationship.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 20

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