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Misrepresentation - 7/4/2008 12:55:08 PM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
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Firstly, this is not about finding out much later that someone is a liar (a meet, long discussions, living with or soon to be living with...) or that he/she is not what they claimed to be because you met them and then you know for a fact that they are NOT.

I am talking about basics.

Lets say a profile, clearly written, seemingly 'ok' as a person and seemingly dominant/submissive and possibly someone you want to get to know better.

You later find out...many things (after several conversations or phone calls)

-that person is (in writing) making mistakes, (mistakes you should have noticed were not simple keyboard angle/finger/thumb mistakes but REAL mistakes (no insight or clue for spelling, grammar, etc).

-you ask what their occupation is...they avoid the topic. OOOoook, you think, this person is private and he/she has the right to be. Later you find out the truth..."I don't work, I am on mental disability for such n such years". ooooooooooo my.

-you find out said person only went to 8th grade (childhood/family obligations), yet this person is 40+ish, is that not plenty of time to self-improve?

-you find out said person didn't write their profile 'words' that captured your attention, a friend wrote it for him/her.

I guess what I am asking is....

How much misrepresentation does it take to see the person is not what they claim to be?

How much is is lying, how much is truth..if it is just a profile (to attract someone) if you add things that others contributed to (quotes from famous people, improper spelling, ideals that you don't have.. yet formed a profile from what seems 'sane and stable', etc).

Is it misrepresentation if a profile is full of garble someone else prompted you to write as enticement? Is it misrepresentation to not write anything at all...yet expect asking another of their life story while you yourself have a blank profile?

Is it not fake (as a person) to be so fraudulent upfront? Is this too obviously fraudulent behaviour that we should 'know' better? no impossible, I say, .... How can people assume they can get away with this and think no one would notice ...eventually??

Post #: 1

RE: Misrepresentation - 7/4/2008 12:58:54 PM

faerytattoodgirl

Posts: 5824
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damn you've found me out....

im really a 400 lb 62 yr old male with beard down past my man boobs.

but a few girls on here can vouch for me....

< Message edited by faerytattoodgirl -- 7/4/2008 12:59:45 PM >

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RE: Misrepresentation - 7/4/2008 1:04:05 PM

softness

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
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You know all the answers to all your questions ... am guessing this has just happened to you right? ... suck it up ..learn from it ... move on

is being nice ... cos its the 4th

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Post #: 3

RE: Misrepresentation - 7/4/2008 1:11:56 PM

silkncarol

Posts: 318
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Yeah, it sucks to be lied too......live and learn.........

Sometimes people do paint themselves in a better light...but if you talk to someone enough, you figure it out....

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Post #: 4

RE: Misrepresentation - 7/4/2008 1:12:45 PM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
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hehe faery, I KNEW IT!!

No, it didn't just happen to me recently, I saw an old profile come up and it is still the same....

I guess I just wonder...naw, ya right, not my responsibility.

ha 4th...I am Canadian (American ums), not matter to me what day of the year you 'aren't' nice.

Ya not weal anyhoo. pfft. LOL

(in reply to softness)

Post #: 5

RE: Misrepresentation - 7/4/2008 1:14:33 PM

Usako

Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
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quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl
damn you've found me out....

im really a 400 lb 62 yr old male with beard down past my man boobs.

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)

Post #: 6

RE: Misrepresentation - 7/4/2008 1:16:18 PM

Maxwell67

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Joined: 6/29/2008
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That sounds more like nondisclosure than misrepresentation to me. Alright, perhaps having someone else write your profile is a bit shady, but the rest? I mean, who is going to place "I am 40 years old but I never got past the 8th grade" in thier profile? Perhaps a submissive who wants to be degraded might do it but otherwise no. Maybe "recently released from psych ward and diagnosed a sociopath" might work if you want to attract some very unwise masochists with a death wish but aside from that, I do not see that kind of disclosure happening in a statement that is supposed to attract people to want to get to know you better.

I am not saying you have no right to be a little miffed at having wasted your time. I am saying if you expect that level of disclosure in a profile statement, you will probably be disapointed often.

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)

Post #: 7

RE: Misrepresentation - 7/4/2008 1:19:17 PM

came4U

Posts: 3572
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From: London, Ontario
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I am considering what you said Maxwell...

hmmm

nondisclosure is more in the case of 'past initial personal conversation stage'? no?

oks edit: yes, if that person cannot spell because they haven't gone beyond 8th grade perhaps...shouldn't we see that upfront? within profile? Sure he can be a greater man despite his lack of education but...can he not make that clear? ie: I am not formally educated but...bla bla bla.

when is misrepresentation...the same as nondisclosure?

and while we are at it...edit again..lol

does height/weight/looks have anything to do with the nondisclosure/misrepresentation aspect?

< Message edited by came4U -- 7/4/2008 1:23:31 PM >

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Post #: 8

RE: Misrepresentation - 7/4/2008 1:23:25 PM

chiaThePet

Posts: 2694
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Throw in Miss Appropriate, Miss Conduct, Miss Construe, Miss Fortune
and you've got yourself one hell of a case for Miss Sogyny.

chia* (the pet)

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You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

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Post #: 9

RE: Misrepresentation - 7/4/2008 1:26:54 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
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I just attended a wedding in Vancouver on Canada Day. I hang in Canada sometimes. That's how I notice people misrepresent names of cities on their profiles. Just sayin'.

< Message edited by RedMagic1 -- 7/4/2008 1:28:32 PM >

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Post #: 10

RE: Misrepresentation - 7/4/2008 1:28:55 PM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline

like: Vancoooovahmanreprezentin?

yes, all fine and dandy, unless he actually lives in Idaho.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 11

RE: Misrepresentation - 7/4/2008 1:29:18 PM

Amaros

Posts: 1363
Joined: 7/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Maxwell67

That sounds more like nondisclosure than misrepresentation to me. Alright, perhaps having someone else write your profile is a bit shady, but the rest? I mean, who is going to place "I am 40 years old but I never got past the 8th grade" in thier profile? Perhaps a submissive who wants to be degraded might do it but otherwise no. Maybe "recently released from psych ward and diagnosed a sociopath" might work if you want to attract some very unwise masochists with a death wish but aside from that, I do not see that kind of disclosure happening in a statement that is supposed to attract people to want to get to know you better.

I am not saying you have no right to be a little miffed at having wasted your time. I am saying if you expect that level of disclosure in a profile statement, you will probably be disapointed often.

Agreed - graduating high school is not necessarily proof of intelligence - some of the smartest people and lovliest human beings I've ever met didn't even graduate gradeschool - on the other hand there is such a thing as combining overeducation with social/emotional retardedation.

You just have to get to know the person behind the catagorical symbolism.

(in reply to Maxwell67)

Post #: 12

RE: Misrepresentation - 7/4/2008 1:33:14 PM

faerytattoodgirl

Posts: 5824
Status: offline

quote:

human beings I've ever met didn't even graduate gradeschool

i think the highest i got to was 10th...but more than 50% of the time up to age 16 my life was in hospital (heart condition)...so...i never really went to school... but i turned out fine.... **COUGH** **GAG**

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I did not reply to your cmail.

I am flawed.

Imperfect.

MUST SPANK!!!

SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

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Post #: 13

RE: Misrepresentation - 7/4/2008 1:33:45 PM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline

I already cleared that up Amaros...

said person didn't care to improve, nor did he find need in it.

Lets just say...the person thought he could attract submissives by his looks and this profile..and THEN the other shoe falls LOL. The profile implies he is 'educated' from his words...that is my point.

< Message edited by came4U -- 7/4/2008 1:35:18 PM >

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Post #: 14

RE: Misrepresentation - 7/4/2008 1:34:47 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

I live in Iowa, actually. I've only been in Vancouver a handful of times, and only for events, like concerts and a wedding. I've spent more time in Toronto and Victoria.

This is on topic, believe it or not. People who have nothing to hide can provide support information without having to think about it, because there's no story to keep straight. To judge whether you're being lied to, it's better to pay attention to the small details than the big ones. The small details are the ones that are inconsistent from one story to the next.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Amaros)

Post #: 15

RE: Misrepresentation - 7/4/2008 1:37:03 PM

Maxwell67

Posts: 435
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

I am considering what you said Maxwell...

hmmm

nondisclosure is more in the case of 'past initial personal conversation stage'? no?

oks edit: yes, if that person cannot spell because they haven't gone beyond 8th grade perhaps...shouldn't we see that upfront? within profile? Sure he can be a greater man despite his lack of education but...can he not make that clear? ie: I am not formally educated but...bla bla bla.

when is misrepresentation...the same as nondisclosure?

and while we are at it...edit again..lol

does height/weight/looks have anything to do with the nondisclosure/misrepresentation aspect?

I think the less attractive qualities of a person (such as the examples you gave) are the things you want to find out during your initial conversations. You would want to know these things before going to all the trouble and expense of meeting them, yes, but it may take a while before someone can get up the guts to make that kind of confession unless you ask them point blank about those details.

If they have given patently false information, or posting a picture of themselves from 10 years and 10,000 cheezeburgers ago, then that is misrepresentation and that is wrong, but omitting certain details is something you have to expect and know to ask about. I do not think that if a person does not list their weight in thier profile that is misrepresentation. That is nondisclosure, and it is what the whole 'getting to know you' series of conversations that everyone advises as the wise course of action when vetting potential partners from online sites like this is for.

(in reply to came4U)

Post #: 16

RE: Misrepresentation - 7/4/2008 1:37:07 PM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline

As I mention Red in my OP, this is NOT about being lied to.

It is about someone being 'misrepresentable' to others.

edit: and yes, Maxwell, all was clear within a few conversations.

ok...to simplfy: A nik like BANKER9382873 ...who claims in profile to be employed as a banker, yet later you find out...he is only a banker playing monoploly. Big difference. Soldier736623834389238, who claims to be a Marine...yet you find out he never served..except in a video game.

this kind of deep misrepresentation.

< Message edited by came4U -- 7/4/2008 1:50:58 PM >

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Post #: 17

RE: Misrepresentation - 7/4/2008 1:49:11 PM

kallisto

Posts: 1185
Status: offline

To me misrepresentation is lying. You're not presenting yourself . You're making something up so you sound better to others (for whatever reasons). If you don't misrepresent, there's nothing to clear up, nothing to keep straight or nothing to "explain".

(in reply to came4U)

Post #: 18

RE: Misrepresentation - 7/4/2008 1:52:47 PM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline

Yes, good point Kallisto. NOT presenting, in true light...before someone contacts you.

Therefore relieving time and energy.

(in reply to kallisto)

Post #: 19

RE: Misrepresentation - 7/4/2008 1:58:40 PM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
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I consider it lying/falsification/deceit to create a profile that has no bearing on the individual posting that profile -- call it false advertising, if you wish. However, it may seem cynical, but I consider that every profile -may- be falsified to some extent or another, which is why I depend on meeting people in person and getting to know them in public, non-committal environments, and spending a good bit of time with them before developing any long-term relationship with them.

Sometimes, common sense is our best ally.

Calla Firestorm

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Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

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Post #: 20

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