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Public Subservience? - 7/4/2008 3:46:11 PM   
GentlemanBobIII


Posts: 63
Joined: 6/19/2008
From: Robinson Twp (Pittsburgh Area) PA
Status: offline 		Happy 4th of July to all of you. Do you make your pets/slaves walk around in public with a collar and leash on, for example? Or, in public are you more or less "normal"? On a side note,albeit related, are you open in your communities and neighborhooods about being a lifestyle Dominatrix or Slave? If you are, how have you been recieved? -Bob

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"We are put here on Earth to do good to others; What the others are here for, I don't know"-WH Auden
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RE: Public Subservience? - 7/4/2008 4:21:07 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		It depends largely on where we're going, what we'll be doing, and who we'll be seeing.  Sometimes they do walk around on leashes with me, other times not.  On a day to day basis, my play partner has a "vanilla" necklace that serve as a collar.  When my girl gets here, I have a necklace that will serve as her everyday collar.  For play, I have heavier, more traditional looking collars.  I'm a mother and live in a conservative Midwestern city, so I tend to be more discrete.  However, there is a small BDSM scene here so I have the option to go all out for play parties if I choose.  It's entirely possible that my pets will wear little more than a collar and leash for those. 

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Sylverë
Dark Muse
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Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

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RE: Public Subservience? - 7/4/2008 4:23:07 PM   
Alixandria


Posts: 101
Joined: 2/27/2005
From: Edmonton, Alberta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GentlemanBobIII

Do you make your pets/slaves walk around in public with a collar and leash on, for example? Or, in public are you more or less "normal"? On a side note,albeit related, are you open in your communities and neighborhooods about being a lifestyle Dominatrix or Slave? If you are, how have you been recieved? -Bob

Do you normally see people being led about with a collar and leash on in your community?  Well, there's your answer.  For the most part, joining the BDSM community does not enrol you in some real-life porn novel.

A lot of the questions you're asking would be cleared up if you went to any lifestyle event (particularly a munch) and saw that, aside from some of their more esoteric hobbies, people lead relatively normal lives.

As to the communities/neighborhood question, well, I don't exactly know the favourite sexual positions of most of the people in my neighborhood because the topic never comes up.  Mostly, I don't get past the "Hi" and a discussion of the weather.  So I should discuss what I do in private with them, because .... ?

Alix


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RE: Public Subservience? - 7/4/2008 4:46:58 PM   
GentlemanBobIII


Posts: 63
Joined: 6/19/2008
From: Robinson Twp (Pittsburgh Area) PA
Status: offline 		I meant no offense or disrespect. I have read where some people say they live this lifestyle 24/7, which would include going to the mall, grocery shopping, and other public activities. So this is what made me think about the collar and leash thing. If you do take your "pet" out in public that way, other than to an event people would most likely ask questions. Or if you were doing this for a living, and the neighbors found out, how accepting the neighbors would be of your activities. It seems in society as a whole, people are more tolerant of alternative lifestyles ie: gay marriage, goth etc, so was  curious if the attitudes had changed toward the BDSM lifestyle as well. And no I have not seen any adults on leash and collar inmy neighborhood but that doesn't mean it might not occur in other neighborhoods. Maybe in California for example, where people are more tolerant? -Bob

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"We are put here on Earth to do good to others; What the others are here for, I don't know"-WH Auden

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RE: Public Subservience? - 7/4/2008 4:50:09 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I feel very strongly about NOT involving the nonconsensual public in my scenes.  That would include leading someone about on a leash. 

California is a large state.  Don't let the headlines fool you.

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[page 23 girl]



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RE: Public Subservience? - 7/4/2008 4:53:18 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Its possible to be discrete though Bob, things like walking one step behind, which wont be obvious to the general public. Or a small chain to symbolise a collar.

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RE: Public Subservience? - 7/4/2008 5:17:39 PM   
TermsConditions


Posts: 446
Joined: 11/13/2007
Status: offline 		I'm my wife's secret sub. She doesn't know but she's growing accustomed.. Whereever we go I dance to her attention. Tote, carry, open doors, etc, etc. Probably the most overt thing I do is sit at her feet when we are at a gathering in someone's home or in for a visit.

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TnC
Married, Novice Subbish-Type Person
and rider of the Drama Llama.

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RE: Public Subservience? - 7/4/2008 5:24:37 PM   
MissIsis


Posts: 473
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline 		I love this.  You have found creative ways to be submissive & serve your wife without stepping out of your primary relationship.  I think what you have written is one of the most beautiful acts of submission I have heard of in a very long time.  Thanks for sharing. 

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RE: Public Subservience? - 7/4/2008 5:39:39 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		24/7 does not mean you're always in leather or always dragging a slave out by a leash. It means that no matter where yo u are what you're doing and who you're doing it with. You're still who you are and what you are. That doesn't have to mean however parading your kink about.
quote:

ORIGINAL: GentlemanBobIII

I meant no offense or disrespect. I have read where some people say they live this lifestyle 24/7, which would include going to the mall, grocery shopping, and other public activities. So this is what made me think about the collar and leash thing. If you do take your "pet" out in public that way, other than to an event people would most likely ask questions. Or if you were doing this for a living, and the neighbors found out, how accepting the neighbors would be of your activities. It seems in society as a whole, people are more tolerant of alternative lifestyles ie: gay marriage, goth etc, so was  curious if the attitudes had changed toward the BDSM lifestyle as well. And no I have not seen any adults on leash and collar inmy neighborhood but that doesn't mean it might not occur in other neighborhoods. Maybe in California for example, where people are more tolerant? -Bob

(in reply to GentlemanBobIII)
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RE: Public Subservience? - 7/4/2008 5:42:03 PM   
GentlemanBobIII


Posts: 63
Joined: 6/19/2008
From: Robinson Twp (Pittsburgh Area) PA
Status: offline 		I do all those things too, only in my case it's because I adhere rigidly to some outdated code of chivalry, which sad to say, a lot of women aren't looking for these days. The one exception being the sitting at her feet. I never did that. I think many women don't even realize why I tip my hat to them as I pass, or why I'm always standing up when they come to or get up from a table I'm at. That's ok though, I don't do it for them so much as out of respect for them. In fact there is some secret pleasure in doing something for someone without them knowing about it. I think it's great that you are able to utilize these behaviors to meet a need in your own life to be subservient to the woman you love. BTW does she know you come onto this site? If so, esp if she knows your nic, your secret may be out. ;) -Bob

_____________________________

"We are put here on Earth to do good to others; What the others are here for, I don't know"-WH Auden

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RE: Public Subservience? - 7/4/2008 7:11:39 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Which women are not looking for men with manners?  Certainly none of the ones I know! 

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[page 23 girl]



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RE: Public Subservience? - 7/4/2008 7:12:12 PM   
PsyVamp


Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline 		My pet also has a "vanilla" chain that serves as his everyday collar. 
I have been known to give him tasks in public, but mostly things that could pass as "normal"

Like at a restaurant recently, I had him pack my "doggie bag" and grab the food bag from the table as we left.  Now, this may seem a normal thing to do, but it is something I had always done myself when we were out.  It was something new to him and therefore made him feel more "useful" but also rather exposed at the same time. 

Lady Jag


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Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. .
Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
~Owner of wolf~ (one of them, anyway)

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RE: Public Subservience? - 7/4/2008 7:30:57 PM   
SpiderInWaiting


Posts: 39
Joined: 10/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Do you make your pets/slaves walk around in public with a collar and leash on, for example? Or, in public are you more or less "normal"? On a side note,albeit related, are you open in your communities and neighborhooods about being a lifestyle Dominatrix or Slave? If you are, how have you been recieved?


I don't want my slaves walking around in public with anything that is obviously fetish wear. I won't be seen with anyone in public that is dressed in fetish clothing. Children don't need to be exposed to adult lifestyles. People also don't need to be exposed to what we do among ourselves in the privacy of our homes. Alot of people in the lifestyle will have something discrete they wear or have with them like a tattoo, chastity device, or a collar that looks like a necklace. I have had vanilla friends who knew about my lifestyle but I never put it in their face or made them feel uncomfortable about what I am into.






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"Hey Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat!"

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RE: Public Subservience? - 7/4/2008 8:26:50 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Some of us do the collar and leash thing, when we're at  a lifestyle event, or maybe at a club.  If you scroll through the pictures in My profile, you'll see one that was taken with formal collar and leash. 

Of course, that's not practical for all occasions.  My sub has both a leather collar and an 'everyday' collar.  Thanks to the goth community, where collars are often worn as a fashion statement, there isn't as much shock value when they are seen in the general public.  Some people have work or school environments where a leather collar isn't a good idea, so many folks adopt a type of necklace or other token for an every day collar.  My sub's is a silver necklace with a lock.  Since distance separates us now, I wear the key on My wrist.


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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: Public Subservience? - 7/4/2008 8:32:47 PM   
TermsConditions


Posts: 446
Joined: 11/13/2007
Status: offline 		Thank you, MissIsis, for your kind words! It's encouraging that I might be doing something right!

_____________________________

TnC
Married, Novice Subbish-Type Person
and rider of the Drama Llama.

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Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Public Subservience? - 7/4/2008 8:57:15 PM   
MySweetSubmssive


Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		Like others, I believe that the public has a right to privacy -- i.e., they have the right not to know about my private life.  Some of my friends know of my lifestyle interests, but I'm not that friendly with any of my neighbors that they would know something so intimate about me.  BDSM is more than sex, but it's part of my sex life.  I don't know how often my neighbors go down on each other, and they don't know that I prize a bidable man who takes pain for me.  The phrase "good fences make good neighbors" can be taken on more than a literal level.

You may be asking these questions because you are so excited about D/s and wonder what it's like to live it and be proud of it.  For me, I don't need the validation of neighbors and strangers to know that this is signifigant in my own life.

Mss

< Message edited by MySweetSubmssive -- 7/4/2008 8:58:18 PM >

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--Miss Moneypenny

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RE: Public Subservience? - 7/4/2008 9:25:27 PM   
ricar00


Posts: 45
Joined: 2/11/2006
Status: offline 		I have been led regularly led around with a collar and leash in public, but in San Francisco. People in general just accepted it without any problem.  A few comments here and there.  In other places, something like being led around on a leash could be a real problem. 
For me, i was proud to be led around on a leash and collar. I do have to say not everyone who was part of our circle of BDSM friends approved of this. But i liked it and as my Goddess' slave i had no choice anyway.
ricar00


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RE: Public Subservience? - 7/4/2008 10:36:00 PM   
Shawn1066


Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline 		I can be subservient in public and still not risk making other people uncomfortable.  My collar is something my Owner made for me by hand and it can be worn pretty much anywhere...it also can't be taken off.  To me, this makes it very intimate and very realistic.

There are really more ways than I can describe.

DV's Fox

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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Public Subservience? - 7/5/2008 2:51:45 AM   
snowslave


Posts: 30
Joined: 9/5/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Shawn1066

I can be subservient in public and still not risk making other people uncomfortable.  My collar is something my Owner made for me by hand and it can be worn pretty much anywhere...it also can't be taken off.  To me, this makes it very intimate and very realistic.

DV's Fox


Fox, can you describe your collar, and how it was made and placed around your neck?  I'm intrigued by the fact that it can't be taken off.

(in reply to Shawn1066)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Public Subservience? - 7/5/2008 3:27:42 AM   
houseboy001


Posts: 29
Joined: 6/20/2008
Status: offline 		There are so many ways to show subservience and most all of them make the servant seem nothing more than a 'gentleman'. Walking behind the Mistress (and friends), carrying all of the packages, opening car doors, and holding out chairs. The Mistress knows that you are Her servant and that not only is it being a gentleman but it is for Her pleasure.  After all it is all about the Mistress!!!!

(in reply to snowslave)
Profile   Post #: 20
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