Hoof in mouth, part 2, feeding

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Hoof in mouth, part 2, feeding - 7/6/2008 3:32:42 PM

HarryVanWinkle

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This is for situations when somebody else made a fool of themselves and you had the priviledge of showing him so, of jamming his foot down his throat all the way to the knee.

Again, I'll start;

It was the same location as the last story, The Southern Sun Groggery in Ft. Myers Beach, FL, early 1980's. I was sitting at the bar, flat broke, wanting to get drunk in the worst way and hoping somebody would start buying. In walked this guy I'd never seen before. He looked around, saw me sitting there by myself with no glass in front of me, came and sat beside me and ordered a pitcher and a glass for each of us.

As we started drinking, he started talking. As he was buying, I was listening, whatever he wanted to talk about.

What he wanted to talk about was Jews. He didn't approve of them. He didn't like them. He commenced to tell me every blood libel, ever malicious myth, ever slander that has ever been told about Jews for the last two thousand years.

I kept drinking his beer, througing in a, "Yeah?" "Uh huh?" "Really?" and whatnot whenever it seemed he wanted a response from me. And he kept buying more pitchers.

This went on for at least a couple of hours and way more than a couple of pitchers. Finally, at one point, he started getting really excited and said, "I mean... I mean... What religion are you?"

I batted my blue German eyes at him and asked, "Me?"

"Yeah," he answered, "what religion are you?"

"Me?" I batted again. "I'm Jewish."

The fact is I'd never been Jewish before, have never been Jewish since, but could not have been prouder to be a Jew than I was at that moment.

I have never seen a human being look more mortified in my life. Without saying another word, he got up, turned around and walked out of the bar, never to be seen again, at least by me.

The best part was, just as he headed out the door, the bartender set the fresh pitcher he'd just bought down in front of me.

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RE: Hoof in mouth, part 2, feeding - 7/6/2008 10:08:22 PM

DomAviator

Posts: 1253
Joined: 4/22/2008
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My ex-wifes mother did not seem to grasp the fact that despite her being 25 years old, divorced, with two kids - she was no longer a virgin. When we had been dating for a couple of months we were going away for a week long cruise. Her mother had a talk with me about "men having expectations, that good girls may not appreciate". She was going on and on and on essentially explaining to me that Laura was "a good girl" and she expects her "virtue to be respected"... Finally I had enough and I came right out and told her that absolutely nothing would happen on that cruise that hasnt been happening nightly for the past several months...

Well after that - it was Sparks and Gunpowder between her and I. She finally crossed the line after we had been married for about six months and asked during a family dinner at my house... "So Kevin, what have you been doing lately - besides violating and defiling my daughter that is?" I looked her right in the eye and said :

"Well Mary to tell ya the truth not much... Laura wants to be violated so often and in such creative ways that I'm just exhausted. I mean you know damn, seven times last night including once up the ass with her bent right over this very dining room table.." She hyperventilated and passed out. Laura called 911.

I slept on the couch for two nights but god damn it was worth it!

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RE: Hoof in mouth, part 2, feeding - 7/7/2008 12:52:29 AM

Vendaval

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I come from a very large, multi-ethnic, multi-lingual family. Frequently someone will start ranting to me about how awful and evil the __________ (insert a group here) are and how they are destroying society.
I usually smile and start telling them about family members from that particular group and their accomplishments.

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

http://KinkMeet.co.uk

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