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Cross-dressing question. - 7/6/2008 9:00:40 PM   
CruelDesires


Posts: 824
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		I am curious. Do people on this board consider cross-dressing a kink?  If you think it is a kink, do you allow it at your local munches? 

CD

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RE: Cross-dressing question. - 7/6/2008 9:02:31 PM   
venomousbride


Posts: 3
Joined: 9/2/2007
Status: offline 		i do  not decide what is a kink or not...and our local muches have plenty of TG and CD'ing men and women who attend.

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RE: Cross-dressing question. - 7/6/2008 9:06:57 PM   
Racquelle


Posts: 600
Joined: 4/21/2008
Status: offline 		It can be a kink - and we would allow it to a certain extent - only to the point that it would not draw complaints by other restaurant patrons.  Most of us have to tone down our kinks at munches.  Much of our favorite play is not appropriate in a public setting.  To some, simply cross dressing may not fit their view of what belongs under the general BDSM umbrella - and well, perhaps it doesn't, but most of us are kind of pan-kink to begin with.  I just spent a wonderful weekend shopping with my CD playfriend.

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RE: Cross-dressing question. - 7/6/2008 9:08:36 PM   
BRNaughtyAngel


Posts: 1821
Status: offline 		Don't really give it much thought as to whether it's a kink or not.

We have had crossdressers at our munches, and definitely at our parties. 

The only warning about attire that applies to our munches is that fetish wear is not recommended because they are family restaurants, so obviously everyone should dress accordingly.

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RE: Cross-dressing question. - 7/6/2008 9:09:01 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		I don;t know,it depends on if they can be passible or not.

Would you want to see this at YOUR public gatherings?

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RE: Cross-dressing question. - 7/6/2008 9:15:04 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		Sure it's a kink.  I had a "vanilla" gf who loved it when I dressed in a miniskirt in the bedroom.  Only time I've ever crossdressed, and it was her idea.  One of those "hmmmm" kinda situations.

I've mostly heard it called a "fetish" tho.  As in, "sub men attending event X will either dress in a collar or in fetish."


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RE: Cross-dressing question. - 7/6/2008 9:28:26 PM   
CruelDesires


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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Sure it's a kink.  I had a "vanilla" gf who loved it when I dressed in a miniskirt in the bedroom.  Only time I've ever crossdressed, and it was her idea.  One of those "hmmmm" kinda situations.

I've mostly heard it called a "fetish" tho.  As in, "sub men attending event X will either dress in a collar or in fetish."



If it is considered a fetish by many, I am curious as to why they allow people to express that fetish at "No fetish attire allowed" munches. That was always something that seemed to me to be a double standard that was allowed by many munches in the community as a whole. I am curious to hear other people opinions on the subject. :-)

CD

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RE: Cross-dressing question. - 7/6/2008 9:34:10 PM   
Leatherist


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quote:

ORIGINAL: CruelDesires

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Sure it's a kink.  I had a "vanilla" gf who loved it when I dressed in a miniskirt in the bedroom.  Only time I've ever crossdressed, and it was her idea.  One of those "hmmmm" kinda situations.

I've mostly heard it called a "fetish" tho.  As in, "sub men attending event X will either dress in a collar or in fetish."



If it is considered a fetish by many, I am curious as to why they allow people to express that fetish at "No fetish attire allowed" munches. That was always something that seemed to me to be a double standard that was allowed by many munches in the community as a whole. I am curious to hear other people opinions on the subject. :-)

CD


In all fairness,If  I cannot bring along a femsub I dresssed in diapers and a t-shirt,why should some guy get to come wearing women's clothing?

< Message edited by Leatherist -- 7/6/2008 9:35:27 PM >

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RE: Cross-dressing question. - 7/6/2008 9:50:52 PM   
HarryVanWinkle


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quote:

ORIGINAL: CruelDesires
I am curious. Do people on this board consider cross-dressing a kink?  If you think it is a kink, do you allow it at your local munches? 

CD


I certainly consider cross dressing a kink.  At Desert Dominion, we discourage cross dressing for our munches, unless the CD is very passable.  We also discourage any other sort of "kinkwear" because our munches are held in the early evening in a family restaurant.

At all events at our clubhouse, on the other hand, everybody is free to dress as they please, save only that we don't allow nudity outside the club house.

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RE: Cross-dressing question. - 7/6/2008 9:54:54 PM   
Leatherist


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Status: offline 		In other words, no chimpanzess wearing tutus!

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RE: Cross-dressing question. - 7/6/2008 10:05:04 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		I would think for a munch being held in a public restaurant, that attire one would wear to patronize that restaurant would be appropriate.  If someone normally goes out in public while crossdressing, and it is not a problem for them, then it would seem that it would not be a problem at a munch. 

Cali


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RE: Cross-dressing question. - 7/6/2008 10:09:33 PM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		Similarly, at events I used to attend and organise in Perth, cross dressers were very welcome to attend parties dressed however they wanted to be. My ex-hub is a CD and epitomised the "S&M means Stand & Model ... doesn't it??" Similarly, adult babies could come to a party in a diaper, those heavily into tatts and piercings could show them all off etc. But at munches, because they were held in restaurants or hotels, street dress appropriate to the occasion was the rule, so generally the CDs dressed as their everyday male selves. There was one intersex person who dressed as female in everyday life and therefore did so at munches, heads would only turn at her because she was a looker! Generally wearing collars was OK as long as they weren't too "in your face" as that didn't seem to raise any public eyebrows, but anything else fetish was frowned on as no one wanted to draw undue attention to the group, or expose "innocents" to our predilections. Most were more than happy to comply with that.
I guess if there was a person who was going through the transitioning process and who was learning to routinely dress as the gender they were moving towards, then they would be supported as this is beyond a fetish. They'd probably get any amount of helpful advice as to how to look and speak etc more appropriately!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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RE: Cross-dressing question. - 7/7/2008 2:45:33 AM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		Not to me it isn't, but this is me personally. It's me being who I am.

I'd say it's really down to the individual person. The transgendered community goes right across both genders from those such as me to male panty wearers. Even to some CDs from what I've come across and my experience it's more a preference than a kink, and these are their words verbatim.

Not that any of the previous posters are wrong. They're not. But you know appearances can be deceptive, and it gives you some sort of idea what attitudes me and other people like me for whom this isn't a kink have to overcome.

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RE: Cross-dressing question. - 7/7/2008 2:58:34 AM   
VioletAshes


Posts: 101
Joined: 1/16/2008
Status: offline 		I would consider it a kink, but I also consider chocolate icecream a kink...

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RE: Cross-dressing question. - 7/7/2008 3:10:30 AM   
SpiderInWaiting


Posts: 39
Joined: 10/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Do people on this board consider cross-dressing a kink? If you think it is a kink, do you allow it at your local munches?


I think whether or not it's a kink really depends on the context. Xdressing for humiliation, wearing panties under a suit, etc. are definitely kink. If someone is a pre-op ts then it's not really kink, it's an outward transformation into that person's real self. I agree with the other posts that for a cd to go to a munch or other public event then he or she should be passable. I personally don't recall being at a munch where someone cross dressing was an issue.


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RE: Cross-dressing question. - 7/7/2008 3:16:13 AM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		I'm in two minds. For example, I consider Stella to be a woman, so she isn't cross dressing, but a guy who lives as a guy who gets off on wearing womens clothing, then it's a kink.

My mind is often a confusing place to be.

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RE: Cross-dressing question. - 7/7/2008 4:13:28 AM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		I think its fairly difficult to distinguish between fetish/kink when you're talking about cross dressing -- and do you mean real cross dressing or someone attempting to live as a woman?  There are so many variations, you never know.  I take 'no fetish attire' to mean dress like you would when you're going out with co workers (for the most part, there are exceptions) or bio family.  As in, we're going to Olive Garden, not play space.  The CDs I know generally dress very vanilla even in play space so I don't think it violates anything.  There are cross dressers all over, drag queens, transgendered people.. you name it...

if cross dressing is considered a fetish and not allowed at a munch, then I have to ask, my boi, who dresses like your average firefighter (male) but is very much female -- would that be considered a fetish and would she be uninvited to such a thing?

Its all very difficult and full of some very gray areas...


quote:

ORIGINAL: CruelDesires

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Sure it's a kink.  I had a "vanilla" gf who loved it when I dressed in a miniskirt in the bedroom.  Only time I've ever crossdressed, and it was her idea.  One of those "hmmmm" kinda situations.

I've mostly heard it called a "fetish" tho.  As in, "sub men attending event X will either dress in a collar or in fetish."



If it is considered a fetish by many, I am curious as to why they allow people to express that fetish at "No fetish attire allowed" munches. That was always something that seemed to me to be a double standard that was allowed by many munches in the community as a whole. I am curious to hear other people opinions on the subject. :-)

CD


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RE: Cross-dressing question. - 7/7/2008 6:25:11 AM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CruelDesires

I am curious. Do people on this board consider cross-dressing a kink?  If you think it is a kink, do you allow it at your local munches? 

CD

This is a genderised question so I don't understand it....I sometimes dress like Barbie and sometimes like Ken.
And I don't 'do' community work so can't help you there either.
Interesting questions though the unanswerable ones.


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RE: Cross-dressing question. - 7/7/2008 7:06:23 AM   
bobipanti


Posts: 87
Joined: 9/29/2005
Status: offline 		Crossdressing is surely a kink/fetish for some, but it is also a sincere way of life or how some of us would prefer our way of life. A trans who is crossdressing is not in a kinky position but rather living a life with meaning.

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RE: Cross-dressing question. - 7/7/2008 8:56:43 AM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		Cross dressing can or can not be a kink for some people.  All depends. 

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