EvilGeoff -> RE: good old days (11/14/2005 9:29:19 AM)
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Touching back on Archer's note about earning your leathers.... Emotionally and sexually I have been oriented towards this lifestyle since I knew that boys & girls had different plumbing, and what all that plumbing was for... But chances to experiment and experience were few and far between. None of the gals I was with were interested in anything more than the "swat on the butt, not too hard" spanking once in a while. I did find one kinky gal who was into the whole leather and lace, rough sex, kinky role-playing thing while we were in college, but after we got out of school we went our seperate ways. About 15 years of "nothing but vanilla" after that. Looooong dry spell. I was introduced to the BDSM community online in 1997.... I was floored. There were people out there like me? OMG! Long story short, between this online introduction in 1997, and August of 1999 I was introduced to the real-time BDSM scene, became active in the southeast of the US (from North & South Carolina & Georgia to Texas). I got tired of having to travel from one end of the Southeast to the other to find like minded folks to socialize with and learn from. And Lordy how I wanted to learn! So I _started_ a munch group. In Columbia, Buckle-of-the-Bible-Belt, South Carolina of all places. The idea was to get some of the "old-timers" to jump up and start teaching. *chuckles* They didn't. And here was a group of people looking at me, ME! A wet-behind-the-ears green-as-all-get-out newbie Dom, for leadership and guidance and education. Holy crap! I was scared to death I would give people bad information because so much of what I had learned from the OL community I knew was absolute rubbish. I was forced to start reading the books out there, not the fantasy stuff but "Different Loving", "Screw the Roses", "The Loving Dominant", "The Topping Book", "The Bottoming Book", "SM: 101", "Juice", "slavecraft", "Sexual Magic", etc, etc. I continued to travel to educational and play events across the SE to further my education. I did fundraising to help a leather family in a time of distress. I started getting active in the NCSF, finally getting T3WD to join the NCSF as a Coalition Partner. I've reached the point that I have been invited to present at many different groups around the Carolinas and Georgia on several topics. And you know what? I'm _STILL_ looking for some "old-timer" to take me under his/her wing and Mentor me. I _want_ to "earn my leathers." Lord knows I still feel like that wet-behind-the-ears pup. A LOT. I want to know that I'm "doing it right", that the information I present is good, solid, real and safe. I want, and need still, to be validated with this lifestyle choice. Funny isn't it? Or perhaps ironic. I've been actively living this lifestyle nearly 8 years, been considered a leader and educator (in my own area, anyway) for at least 6 of those years, and I still feel "green" and unsure of myself at times. Probably stems from my father passing away when I was still pretty young. I walk my own walk, but you know, sometimes it would be nice to have Dad to consult with and get advice from. I don't think any of us are ever too old, or too experienced, to not want that sometimes. I don't have my Dad, so I want a substitute, and I've never found one. Not sure where this is supposed to be going, but thinking about the "good old days" and working your way up in the community, "earning your leathers" got me thinking.... I have my boots, my belt, my vest.... I bought them all, no one gave these things to me, I haven't "earned" them from a group of my peers. And I wish that I had. The cap? *smiles wistfully* Now _THAT_ I will save for some future presentation. Once I was introduced to the concept of "earning your leather" I stopped buying the "trappings" of the Leather scene. Someday, I'll earn them. Yours In Kink, - Geoff
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