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RE: Why are we sub? - 7/8/2008 6:16:09 PM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline 		I cant speak for `We` but I can speak for Me. 

I find it a comfortable, natural way of being when in the presence of someone I recognize as superior to Me. 
I can relax, drop the protective plastic face our society expects and just be Me. 

purely selfish on my part............. 


_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Why are we sub? - 7/8/2008 7:36:12 PM   
sujuguete


Posts: 263
Joined: 7/3/2008
From: DC metro area
Status: offline 		Why are we sub?


Why not?


(in reply to Quivver)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Why are we sub? - 7/8/2008 8:40:11 PM   
samantha9988


Posts: 9
Joined: 3/30/2008
Status: offline 		Thank you

I've been doing some looking around on this site. I really am not nearly as much into this lifestyle as some of you but I think I am submissive to a certain extent. I certainly don't think I'm dominant, thats for sure. I enjoy pleasing and really have no desire to be pleased. But does the desire for me to please, so that is what I do, mean that I'm doing what makes me happy, so in a sense because I'm doing "what I want" make me dominant? Did that make sense? And yes I am looking for a hookup but not just that. This site has had me pondering alot of questions.

(in reply to sujuguete)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Why are we sub? - 7/9/2008 12:13:17 AM   
MisterBeast


Posts: 142
Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: abcbsex

I had this exact same thought run through my mind last night when Alpha had me tied to a hook in the wall by a gag in my mouth, my hands behind my back and my pelvis pulled out as far as my legs could go... I literally asked, "Why do I like this?" when it was all over. He put his hand on my neck and said," Because I do". It was priceless.


Somthing tells me mastercard wont be putting it in thier next commercial though....

Hancuffs, 35.00
Rope, 15.00
Ball gag, 24.00
Watching your sub quiver... priceless.

Yeh, not happening. Allthough it would be fitting coming from the folks at MASTERcard lol

(in reply to abcbsex)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Why are we sub? - 7/9/2008 12:28:17 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: samantha9988

Thank you

I've been doing some looking around on this site. I really am not nearly as much into this lifestyle as some of you but I think I am submissive to a certain extent. I certainly don't think I'm dominant, thats for sure. I enjoy pleasing and really have no desire to be pleased. But does the desire for me to please, so that is what I do, mean that I'm doing what makes me happy, so in a sense because I'm doing "what I want" make me dominant? Did that make sense? And yes I am looking for a hookup but not just that. This site has had me pondering alot of questions.



No. It means that your submission isn't selfless. I believe being his girl is one of the more selfish things I can do. If I wanted to please without getting anything out of it, I would have married one of my exes. I am capable of pleasing a great number of number of people, however I decided who to please, among other factors, based on how pleasing them made me feel.

YMMV

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to samantha9988)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Why are we sub? - 7/9/2008 5:35:57 AM   
malloves69


Posts: 913
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline 		im a sub because i love strapon play  something about a sexy woman wearing a big strapon i just love seeing  gladly bendover for my mistress anytime she wants to take me  when she walks in the room wearing that nice 10 in strapon we both know where thats going  love the way she does it too ...at first a loving caring way to make sure im ok and then once its allin she flips the switch and really has her way with me  after that she fists me and to me thats even better  ahhhh she got me good yesterday ..but hey thats why i am a sub to her  love her prostate massages too ..swear those fingers of hers are magical indeed  mal

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Why are we sub? - 7/9/2008 5:47:07 AM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: samantha9988

Thank you

I've been doing some looking around on this site. I really am not nearly as much into this lifestyle as some of you but I think I am submissive to a certain extent. I certainly don't think I'm dominant, thats for sure. I enjoy pleasing and really have no desire to be pleased. But does the desire for me to please, so that is what I do, mean that I'm doing what makes me happy, so in a sense because I'm doing "what I want" make me dominant? Did that make sense? And yes I am looking for a hookup but not just that. This site has had me pondering alot of questions.



Pondering is a good thing!
Actually that is one of the reasons I happen to like sites like this. They can stir up questions within ones self and who knows the result?
I hope you do explore your mind and that you find what you seek.

On the OP of why.. jeez it would take a book for me to explain what I can.

When I do something that people approve of I feel good inside.
When I help someone, or teach someone then I feel good inside.
I like to have boundaries set by someone else, I want to have the rules laid out so that I can walk my path with ease.
I like the kinky sex toooooooo!


_____________________________


~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).




(in reply to samantha9988)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Why are we sub? - 7/9/2008 5:48:17 AM   
bipolarber


Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline 		Just a few of the 3 billion possible reasons... (about half the Earth's population)

1) We like to be the center of attention

2) It give's a feeling of "belonging" (In the Maslow's Heirerarchy of needs sense)

3) It simplifies the relationship... The Dom/me is the driver, you the sub are the passenger and or navigator.

4) As a sub, you usually get what you want.

5) Knowing what your partner expects of you makes things easier.

6) The communication is better (or at least it should be) than most vanilla relationships.

(in reply to malloves69)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Why are we sub? - 7/9/2008 9:53:42 AM   
slavekal


Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		As is the case with most things, it is helpful to think in terms of a continuum instead of either/or.  Most guys have worshipful, self sacrificial feelings for women at least some of the time.  Why are there so many songs about men sleeping out in the rain, crawling miles, giving everything they have to a woman?  Female beauty makes us weak.  Why do guys give up large amounts of cash to strippers?  We have this desire to work for, and please women.  Look at the Medievel stories and poems.  Same thing.  Sub guys just feel these things more consistently, and to a greater degree than men in the general population.  It's not really different, just moreso.

(in reply to samantha9988)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Why are we sub? - 7/9/2008 10:36:02 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		For me personally it is because i am wired to be a sub. Not to just anyone thought.  I have always liked to take care of others but i only submit to one.  it is a good question though.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to slavekal)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Why are we sub? - 7/9/2008 10:46:43 AM   
angelspassion4u


Posts: 632
Joined: 7/17/2006
From: Angels
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: samantha9988

Thank you

I've been doing some looking around on this site. I really am not nearly as much into this lifestyle as some of you but I think I am submissive to a certain extent. I certainly don't think I'm dominant, thats for sure. I enjoy pleasing and really have no desire to be pleased. But does the desire for me to please, so that is what I do, mean that I'm doing what makes me happy, so in a sense because I'm doing "what I want" make me dominant? Did that make sense? And yes I am looking for a hookup but not just that. This site has had me pondering alot of questions.



      It's good that your looking around.  One has to real sure in what they want.  This lifestyle has soooo many aspects to it.  It can be as little as experimenting in the bedroom to full 24/7. On line only to both that and real-time.  One has to be sure of themselves before jumping into anything or one might get hurt badly ( not the good kind of hurt, either ) .  I suggest you read information in other places too in addition to this site.  Google is a good tool to help you find out some of what your looking to read about.  I have been on this site for 2 years now but haven't been in a D/s relationship yet.  I don't jump into things. But, I have spent the past 2 years reading, chatting, making friends, and learning who I am.  So hopefully one day I will truly find what I want, need and desire. 
Good Luck to you. I hope you find what your looking for.


_____________________________

Recommends books by Victoria Morris through Pink Flamingo publishers.
"You can PLEASE some people some of the time, most people most of the time, but NEVER all the people all of the time."

(in reply to samantha9988)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Why are we sub? - 7/9/2008 5:11:00 PM   
XaviersXian


Posts: 525
Joined: 9/8/2007
From: Australia
Status: offline 		greetings to all,

I am a slave because I *need* to slave to be fulfilled as a person.  Sure, at times, I completely *hate* aspects of service, but, mentally, I shrivel up and die without the opportunity to serve.

It is far from an easy life, but it is who I am.

well wishes,

(in reply to angelspassion4u)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Why are we sub? - 7/11/2008 5:54:32 AM   
RealSub58


Posts: 1073
Status: offline 		I definately disagree with 2 statements !

quote:

ORIGINAL: bipolarber

1) We like to be the center of attention
Some s type women (sub/slave) are attention whores but just because we are s types does NOT make us the center of attention.

4) As a sub, you usually get what you want.
If we, as the s type  Usually / Almost Always get what we want, then who is in control? 
I see so many problems with this statement.



(in reply to bipolarber)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Why are we sub? - 7/11/2008 5:56:58 AM   
RealSub58


Posts: 1073
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: samantha9988

I just don't get it!


I do think, after reading your profile and your responses here...
you might want to "label" yourself as a "sexual service bottom."

(in reply to samantha9988)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Why are we sub? - 7/11/2008 6:43:57 AM   
TermsConditions


Posts: 446
Joined: 11/13/2007
Status: offline 		"If everyone in the world were a leader, then nothing requireing more than one person to do would ever get done."

Maybe it's a lack of sleep but this seems the most profound thing I've ever read.

_____________________________

TnC
Married, Novice Subbish-Type Person
and rider of the Drama Llama.

(in reply to Maxwell67)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Why are we sub? - 7/11/2008 10:35:08 AM   
shadowcd


Posts: 88
Joined: 6/23/2008
Status: offline 		The easiest way to explain why I'm submissive is because I want to make my partner happy and often am unsure how to do this so when my partner tells me/trains me and dominates me into doing what makes them happy.. It makes me happy because then I know I can make them happy. 
My biggest problem with "vanilla" relationships was that as much as I tried to please someone, it was very difficult for me to figure out what they wanted.   I spent a great deal of time guessing and being insecure and those insecurities lead to doubt which just created problems.    
One of the worst things I can feel is disappointing a loved one,  and I would rather know what I did wrong then have to guess and be doomed to repeat it.   Which is why I like the discipline aspect of it.   It tells me I have strayed from the path and reminds me to get back on it if I wish to keep my Domme.    In past vanilla relationships I have strayed of course but with little reaction or something to subtle that I missed it  and I continued to hurt them even though it was never my intention and I didn't even realize how much or often why, until it was to late and they left.    That's why I'm submissive, that's why i like discipline because it is how things work best with me.  Because it is the way I'm wired to deal with relationships in the most positive way for my own and my partners happiness.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Why are we sub? - 7/12/2008 7:57:49 AM   
DaddyDragon41


Posts: 2
Joined: 5/10/2008
Status: offline 		From my understanding of people I have known, submissives are people who have a built in need to care and support something bigger then themselves. Because of that they need to feel the power/strength/dominance of another person and when they do thats who they tend to follow. Sadly thats where much abuse comes in because just because someone has one of the three above does not a good dom/master make.

A submissive needs to serve that service can come in many forms, but bottom line they need to be part of something bigger and instinct says look for the strongest/wisest, the happiest submissives I know accept that and are very picky with who they choose to follow/support.  

BTW this possible answer does not apply to who holds which end of the "flogger" so to speak thats just whatever kink you enjoy but referring to relationship aspects.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 37
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